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Thread: Camming with Anxiety

  1. #1
    Newbie delilicious's Avatar
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    Sad Camming with Anxiety

    I feel like camming is much more natural to me and more enjoyable than any other job. But, I have general anxiety and social anxiety, so pretty much any job is difficult for me. I see a lot of other camgirls on here also have anxiety of some kind or even have shyness and self esteem issues for various reasons. I thought it would be nice to have a thread to talk about how we deal with it! (mostly in regards to camming, but in general too )

    - Reading these forums. Seriously, it's a goldmine here. Also, watching youtube videos, looking at other girls' sites/cams just to get inspiration, following them on social media. I feel like the more I know, the better I will do automatically. I feel more powerful and prepared and it soothes my anxiety. I already know I won't make a lot of mistakes because I read up.
    - Videos and photos. So far I've been making videos and photosets. Being able to edit my videos, rerecord when I mess up, just not being 'live', making videos is way better than camming with anxiety. Also customs allow you time to respond through e-mail or message, and you can give yourself an extra day or two of time if you need to.
    - Sunlight. Ok this is a weird thing to mention but if you're also nocturnal remember that the sun gives you important vitamins and such. Just being in direct sunlight for a little while each day will absolutely help improve your mood. So make it part of your schedule to do something outside before the sun sets, even if it's just sitting and drinking some iced tea.
    - Meditation, guided meditation, hypnosis, mantras, and reading body positive things. I didn't realize just how much of my anxiety came from not feeling worthy. Meditation teaches me to sooth my jumpy mind, and mantras or guided meditation help fill me with confidence. I never trusted in my ability to achieve something before, and changing that is really helpful with anxiety.
    edit: Oh, and the most important one of all, one that I haven't actually followed through with for myself yet...
    Just get on cam!


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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    What works for me is practicing positive affirmation. Use the mirror as your metaphor. Say positive things to yourself such as you are beautiful and are worthy of all the wonderful things in your life and many more to come. If you don't believe it the first time, repeat it til' it sinks in. This is what works for me. I now cam with no anxiety!

    You can control your anxiety by controlling your thoughts. The brain has its own mind but you can choose to make it a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    Featured Member maryjaynexo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Thank you for this. In fact, today, I've been hiding from cam and doing clips instead. I really want to make passive income my main income as I love just being able to relax. Once I actually get on cam, I find that my anxiety lessens A LOT, but it's making that jump from staring at the computer with apprehension to actually logging on that I find I have the most trouble with.





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    Featured Member MissEgo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    I completely agree with preferring content to camming. Not only because it makes me less anxious, but also because I love my passive income Taking that step from being at your computer to being on cam is a big scary one for me, and I'll often put it off. Granted, I usually have a zillion reasons to put it off, but when I'm able to cam it takes me about an hour to "talk myself into it".


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    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by delilicious View Post
    edit: Oh, and the most important one of all, one that I haven't actually followed through with for myself yet...
    Just get on cam!
    I have a major anxiety disorder too and the way I get myself to just on cam is that I tell myself that anything is better than zero dollars. ANYTHING! That I just need to get on cam and if I hate it I can leave after I make $5.

    And of course, I always end up staying for a full shift. I have no idea if this will be useful to you as well -- but I figured I'd mention it just in case.


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    God/dess Classy_Katy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    It helps to shift your focus away from yourself and to the other person instead...so instead of thinking whatever thoughts you normally have about yourself, think about what the other persons needs and wants are (not what they may think of me). I try to connect with and feel into the other person, I then forget about myself and my feelings of anxiety.

    I like to dress up and be in character, it gives me a show to provide and a persona to be.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


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    Veteran Member doublerainbow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    This is an amazing thread, just what I need. ^_^

    Well, this and webcam software that actually -works-. I actually got up all the guts to go back on MFC today, did my hair, makeup, EVERYTHING... only for my logitech pro c910 to crap out on me completely. I'm mortified. That was the biggest investment I put into starting to cam.

    Anyway! Yes, I have to agree with Classy Katy, shifting focus off of myself is the biggest help to overcoming that anxiety (on cam and in real life!).. especially when you realize that everyone else likely has the same self-consciousness as you do, or is at least too busy thinking of what people are thinking about them to be bothered with judging you. X) Feeling worthy is also so important, I fully agree - that's what I struggle with the most. In a way, camming can be kind of theraputic because it forces you to solidify your own sense of self-worth - no one else is gonna give it to you.

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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Giving myself another name helped too (along with the character playing)...Katy is a total slut! She talks dirty and shows herself off to strangers, she flirts, looks them in the eye and smiles at them. The girl in front of that camera isn't really me...but the confident girl I would like to be in all areas of my life, and the bonus is that confidence starts to filter through into my real life.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by Marina Starr View Post
    You can control your anxiety by controlling your thoughts. The brain has its own mind but you can choose to make it a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven.
    You can only control it to a certain point, thought. Brain chemistry is a bitch.

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    Senior Member blueroo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Thanks for starting this thread, and I am so sorry you suffer from anxiety. I do, too. I have had generalized and social anxiety along with a lot of phobias since I can remember. School was a nightmare (though I excelled) and when I reached college around age 16 or so I was prescribed long term, fairly addictive anti-anxiety meds. Sadly I have a very high tolerance to all "downer" type medications so these pills only take the edge off, but they make me being a productive member of society (whatever that means!!) possible.

    I've tried DBT/CBT (not cock and ball torture, lol!) in classes and one on one as well as in workbooks on my own. I've meditated, done the sunlight thing (I used to be a sun worshiper), exercised daily, slept a good regular schedule, ate well, deep breathed, all that.... and yes, it helps, immensely more than doing nothing, I still suffer from it every day I log on.

    When I have enough saved to live off of for six months/a year/whatever, I find little ways of convincing myself to not go on cam. But my savings dwindling won't help me with my goals. In reality when I'm feeling good, not anxious, in my groove, working my persona I am HAPPY on cam.

    Sites without mandatory free chat help me a lot. Fetish helps me a lot. I stripped, so I'm not shy about my body. I love masturbation, etc, I just don't like shoving my bits on cam or shoving things in my bits on cam... it worsens my anxiety. So fetish helps so so so much for me. I am in control, I am the dominant one, I can tell them to suck my big glittery plastic dick!

    I hate the trolls, so I troll them back instead of ignoring them. It makes it fun for me. I give them the rickroll hotline instead of my number. I do silly shit like that because it really works. And after my lunch if I don't feel like logging back on I say TOO DAMNED BAD BLUEROO! It's terrifying and hard and sucks that I know I'm going to battle this my entire life, I just try to find ways to make whatever job I have fun for me at the time.

    Really feel for everyone who has cam anxiety or anxiety in general. Stage fright is totally normal for a lot of cammers without anxiety, but the two combined is rough.

    So troll away at your freeloaders, pretend you've sunk deep into madness and are babbling endlessly with silly banter at your computer, pretend you're just moved into college and chatting on free cam sites for fun instead of money (the thrill! boys think I'm hot teehee!), learn about fetishes and find a few niches you actually find fun and not anxiety-inducing and join sites that cater to fetish crowds, download some good apps for relaxation and deep breathing, take a yoga break in the sunshine, don't let your blood sugar drop, sleep lots, and realize you might just need to lower your expectations some days.

    DO NOT beat yourself up if you don't make your goal, just promise yourself you will get out of the grips of anxiety enough to make your goal tomorrow. Definitely force yourself to make enough to get by, and save as much as you can, but stop looking at the top girls who work their asses off day in and day out and comparing yourself to their earnings/hours/etc. You're not them, they have their own issues that you may not know about. Log off and make clips, social network, market, affiliate market, etc etc etc.

    Your brain chemistry may be screwed, and it sucks, but it's just how it is and you have to work around it. I'm glad I can cam because it's a helluva a lot easier on my faulty neurotransmitters than most jobs.

    I wish I could work MFC but my anxiety is just TOO MUCH for that site. Maybe something to work toward.

    I'm off to stop procrastinating, force myself to get ready and cam. My regulars know my schedule and expect me to be on. I don't want to let down my customers.


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    God/dess CourtneyRaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    I've been diagnosed with PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and alcoholism. Yeah, I'm sort of a mental mess, but I understand the anxiety about turning the cam on. Especially when I've had a few slow days, it makes me feel like I'm personally inadequate and guys are just silently judging me and it really messes with my self-esteem. But actually, it's really all in my head. Once I'm able to just turn the cam on I find myself loving it, I love doing shows, I love interacting with my viewers, and when I get compliments and praises (and tips and shows!) it really does help me to feel positive and alleviates that anxiety. It's just a matter of taking the first step and turning the cam on. For me, I stick to a schedule. It's the only way that I can force myself to cam. When I first started camming back in the day I'd be so afraid to log on because I was afraid of doing something wrong and I was really unsure of myself. Now I know that I know how to do my job well, but that reluctance to just log in is still there. Making myself stick to my hours like I would have to with an outside job has really helped me to get into a routine, and I find that having that structure is always a good thing mentally.

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    Senior Member blueroo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Thanks Lusty! I will go check that out this week. That sounds amazing.

    I don't drink when I cam unless I'm on a rare night. I cam morning/afternoon hours not only does it look a little off, it feels kind of icky for the rest of the day as I'm not a big drinker... but when I do weekends it's sometimes fun to drink and I definitely act a little sassier...!

    Oh that reminds me... Bob Marley's Mellow Mood drinks (found at natural food stores AND gas stations as well as some Costco/Sam's and Wal-Mart, often in the refrigerated bottled drink section) have decaf black or green tea and lots of calming herbs...half makes me calm, the whole bottle helps me unwind to sleep. Tazo's "Rest" tea with the pink rose on the front of the box also is excellent for calming me down, as is Yogi Tea's Kava. The kava kava root also make me very chatty which kind of can be good.

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    God/dess anonymous camgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    omg I started experiencing major anxiety when the recession began, I had never had to sit in free chat more than 5 mins at a time before.. I still have a huge problem with it.. I also was diagnosed with PTSD... I started drinking ALOT just so i could sit in free chat.. now i have cut back ALOT.. still feel anxiety all the time though.

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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Ah unfortunately if Relacore also causes weight loss I'm not interested in losing weight! It doesn't seem to be like that much though, hm.

    Meds are great. Unfortunately the kind I used before did not work well for me, but I hope to get new awesome psychiatrists/therapists next month and we'll see what happens.

    I smoke pot most of the time for my anxiety, and my ADD. Weed actually helps me focus. Plus I can sell vids of it!

    Quote Originally Posted by blueroo View Post
    Oh that reminds me... Bob Marley's Mellow Mood drinks (found at natural food stores AND gas stations as well as some Costco/Sam's and Wal-Mart, often in the refrigerated bottled drink section) have decaf black or green tea and lots of calming herbs...half makes me calm, the whole bottle helps me unwind to sleep. Tazo's "Rest" tea with the pink rose on the front of the box also is excellent for calming me down, as is Yogi Tea's Kava. The kava kava root also make me very chatty which kind of can be good.
    Ooo that's the second time someone recommended the Mellow Mood drinks to me so I'll try
    them for sure.

    Putting on makeup makes a big difference. It helps me transform. I look very different without makeup too (lol I have no eyebrows, I'm scary and mean) so once I put it on I really feel like my persona. I imagine how other people see me, or really, how they SHOULD see me. I'm a punk so 'luxurious/expensive' is not how I would usually describe myself, but on cam...

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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    ^^I find that marijuana often helps me unwind, as well. Not too much though, then I just get all un-focused and want to curl up in my pjs with a good movie. I would really like to seek professional help and perhaps get on medication or talk to a therapist, but again, it's that initial fear that's hindering me. I really hope I can work up the nerve to talk to someone at my local hospital before I have to start school again... my anxiety levels go through the roof while I'm at school; it's torture.




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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by CourtneyRaine View Post
    Making myself stick to my hours like I would have to with an outside job has really helped me to get into a routine, and I find that having that structure is always a good thing mentally.
    This is really, really good advice and I am going to take it to heart. I procrastinate so much getting on cam. I am going to see if I can push back my start time just a little bit at a time and come up with a 'routine' for getting into character and see if I can't kick this procrastination habit. Thanks!

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    Featured Member MissEgo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    I mentioned my social anxiety to a couple family members the other day; they laughed and called BS, telling me to just stop being an idiot and get over it. Is this actually something you can "get over", or work past? I wasn't always "this way", and I can probably pinpoint the time in my life when it started, so it should be something that can be phased out, yes?

    (I'm hardcore sensitive to medication - a children's ibuprofen leaves me giggling because I think I'm a lemur but bawling my eyes out because I can't remember what a lemur looks like - so anxiety meds are soooo not an option for me)


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    I sincerely hope it can be phased out. I can also think of a certain time in my life where I felt like my anxiety got really really bad. Looking back now, I always noticed it a little, but never like this. My family brushes it off too, and tells me to "just ----" (whatever it is making me anxious). It's really not that simple, I wish they would get it. I honestly would prefer therapy to medication in general, so I hope it works when I get up the nerve to do it.




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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    <<< I have mental health issues including panic disorder too. I also have battled alcoholism/substance abuse. It is so hard sometimes to put yourself out there as it is!

    I throw everything at my issues - CBT/DBT, medication (I am prescribed a maintenance benzo, ssri & one or three others lol), nutrition, meditation etc... Honestly I have to say CBT/DBT & Meditation/Mindfulness help me the most. But everyone is different - I think the key is asking for help and reaching out. Anxiety is so common but not often addressed - it's good to reach out as it helps YOU and it helps others too! Reading this helps me at least. :-)

    Anyone can feel free to message me about mental health stuff if they dont want to talk about it in the open. Some diagnosis are yucky to talk about & disclose - being stigmatized sucks.

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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    I also find that doing free preview on AW helps...it used to unnerve me when guys came straight into a paid session without chatting with me first. With doing free I can build up a relationship first and explain what I do and what I'm wearing, especially as I like to be in character and my shows are different from others. I'm much more used to it and relaxed about it a year on now but I still prefer a show where I feel I've made some kind of connection with the guy (or guys in the case of group shows) and aim to do that whether in free or at the start of the show if we haven't chatted before. This is the way I to create regulars too. Guys comment on my smile and on how others on the site don't, I'm not always in the mood for free but I do it when I can as it works better for me in terms of income, profile hits and comfortableness...it also keeps me in the zone! I like to chat and have a laugh with them...although the majority just ask questions for the sake of it so they don't get kicked for just sitting there wanking, and many are there because they're bored...in those cases become an energy drain. I like to keep myself busy and my energy high, I think my energy level is the biggest factor in gaining customers.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


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    Senior Member blueroo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    MissEgo, that really SUCKS. I want to be like, "yo, just SUCK IT UP, YOU DON'T NEED YOUR INSULIN!!!" to my relatives with diabetes. Because really? really? It's 2012. I thought people, especially family and friend type people, understood mental illness a little better than that. Same for you maryjayne Sorry that people can be so ignorant and thoughtless.

    I also have PTSD and certain things people say in free chat can trigger me in a heartbeat and you can see it on my face, I can't hide it, I'm such an open book. And then my hustle is GONE for the rest of the shift if the trigger was particularly awful.

    Wish I could function under the influence of THC. I am just a giggly, goofy, awful mess or completely paranoid. I'd freak out about trolls who claim to "know me." Or I'd just laugh too much. Which would be AWESOME for SPH and other fetishes but bad in general for my persona.

    darlingcamho, you sound like me....! I'm really glad this thread was started too, reading it made me feel better...I was thinking of starting one myself actually but, haha, anxiety ya'know..!

    ClassyKaty I totally agree with you on energy level. I know they can tell when I'm sluggish and not feeling it (which is often with my health lately and add in the anxiety ugh). It's better to log off, hit the reset button in your mind, and try again later/tomorrow/whatever.

    Honestly I'm ok with sometimes lowering my monetary expectations. I'm working and making a good living with a pretty debilitating anxiety disorder as well as painful chronic health issues. Some days it ain't gonna happen. The past few days have been slow traffic for me which makes my anxiety worse. Some awfulness occurred in free chat that just about made me cry too. I had to log off because I refuse to cry on cam, I am such an emotional person. That's why stripping was hard on me. Crying strippers. Hot.

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  38. #22
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by blueroo View Post
    Oh that reminds me... Bob Marley's Mellow Mood drinks (found at natural food stores AND gas stations as well as some Costco/Sam's and Wal-Mart, often in the refrigerated bottled drink section) have decaf black or green tea and lots of calming herbs...half makes me calm, the whole bottle helps me unwind to sleep. Tazo's "Rest" tea with the pink rose on the front of the box also is excellent for calming me down, as is Yogi Tea's Kava. The kava kava root also make me very chatty which kind of can be good.
    Thanks for the natural suggestions. I don't have a dr, can't afford a therapist, and can't be on most medications. Some herbs are even too strong for me, but I like to try natural solutions.

    I have anxiety pretty much all the time and have also dealt with substance abuse. It's hard for me to get most things done. Some days I'll spend so much time preparing to do things that I never actually get them done. Being a hermit has helped in some ways and hurt in other ways. It's good that I don't actually have to be around people, in person, all day long. But now I have a harder time dealing with other situations in my life, and will sometimes procrastinate until nothing can be done about it and I just have to accept the consequences. I also have paranoia about people knowing who I am when I go out in public and about people judging me. I know it's very self-centered. But if you think about it, that's what we do all day. Guys pay us or don't pay us, rate us, etc and say things to us... and by all appearances, these things are based solely upon our looks and personality. So that can lead to feeling judged, scrutinized & rejected. I know it really has a lot to do with the customers and not with us, but it's easy to forget that sometimes.

    I wish I could deal with meditation, but I just can't do it yet. I do yoga regularly... between 4 and 7 times a week. And I take lots of naps when I'm feeling overwhelmed, or I watch lots of TV & just don't deal with life. Clearly I need some better coping skills. But I have actually improved some from a year ago.

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  40. #23
    Veteran Member doublerainbow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by blueroo View Post
    I also have PTSD and certain things people say in free chat can trigger me in a heartbeat and you can see it on my face, I can't hide it, I'm such an open book. And then my hustle is GONE for the rest of the shift if the trigger was particularly awful.
    blueroo, just want you to know you're not alone there. I have severe chronic PTSD with dissociation and have worked my ass off to desensitize myself to a lot of my triggers.. but sometimes you can't help when shit gets so overwhelming. Actually I think it's why I come off as such a ditz on cam - can never keep track of more than one thing (like chatroom AND PMing), easy math becomes impossible and my mind goes blank a lot right in the middle of a sentence. My conscious mind just tried to block out information when I feel threatened. Hoping it eases up once I get used to things and feel more empowered on cam.

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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Lol about the crying strippers... I cried so hard one time and I would have logged off but i was frozen.. Like in a trance.. sometimes I just get like that so it's hard for me to log off in the moment.. to make a long story short! I got suspended for 24 hours on SM because I was crying and so upset... Which I thought was messed up.. Some asshole upset me and i get suspended.. but they said i wasn't in trouble for it.. Just to take a day off.. A day off is trouble.. i lost a day's pay.. So I try my hardest not to get like that... Even today.. It's really slow.. and one of my reg's was messing around with me.. and was not going to pvt.. waiting almost 2 hours playing games with me.. in and out making fun of me bla bla.. I ended up yelling at him.. and logging off.. NOt sure if i wanna go back today..damn it!

    Quote Originally Posted by blueroo View Post
    MissEgo, that really SUCKS. I want to be like, "yo, just SUCK IT UP, YOU DON'T NEED YOUR INSULIN!!!" to my relatives with diabetes. Because really? really? It's 2012. I thought people, especially family and friend type people, understood mental illness a little better than that. Same for you maryjayne Sorry that people can be so ignorant and thoughtless.

    I also have PTSD and certain things people say in free chat can trigger me in a heartbeat and you can see it on my face, I can't hide it, I'm such an open book. And then my hustle is GONE for the rest of the shift if the trigger was particularly awful.

    Wish I could function under the influence of THC. I am just a giggly, goofy, awful mess or completely paranoid. I'd freak out about trolls who claim to "know me." Or I'd just laugh too much. Which would be AWESOME for SPH and other fetishes but bad in general for my persona.

    darlingcamho, you sound like me....! I'm really glad this thread was started too, reading it made me feel better...I was thinking of starting one myself actually but, haha, anxiety ya'know..!

    ClassyKaty I totally agree with you on energy level. I know they can tell when I'm sluggish and not feeling it (which is often with my health lately and add in the anxiety ugh). It's better to log off, hit the reset button in your mind, and try again later/tomorrow/whatever.

    Honestly I'm ok with sometimes lowering my monetary expectations. I'm working and making a good living with a pretty debilitating anxiety disorder as well as painful chronic health issues. Some days it ain't gonna happen. The past few days have been slow traffic for me which makes my anxiety worse. Some awfulness occurred in free chat that just about made me cry too. I had to log off because I refuse to cry on cam, I am such an emotional person. That's why stripping was hard on me. Crying strippers. Hot.

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    Default Re: Camming with Anxiety

    Here's my favorite book on meditation, it's completely free and discusses the how and why, and how to deal with problems like fidgeting, asleep limbs, distracted thoughts.


    I'm going to try to get a few songs and incorporate them into my daily routine - a song for getting up, a song for getting ready for camming, a song I use while I'm relaxed and meditating, and a song for going to sleep. Along with affirmations about how good and (awake, rich, calm, tired, happy) I am, these should help me stabilize my mood!

    The law of attraction threads on here I've found really helpful. For me, it's less about the 'energy of the universe' and all about becoming grateful for the moments I have. Often I'm so anxious that I can barely focus on what I'm doing or what's happening right now! Even when I'm trying to shower or sip my coffee... nuh uh no more. Every anxious thought I have I make myself stop and think of the best possible outcomes, and/or about how happy I am right now and what's enjoyable about what's happening right now.

    There are times for dealing with anxious thoughts and trying to conquer them. Maybe give yourself some time to write in a diary/blog each day just about the anxious thoughts you've had and how you overcame or will overcome them next time. Finish by writing lots of positive things and then doing something that calms your anxiety. (this also gives your brain 'an excuse' temporarily for stopping negative thoughts, you can tell yourself: "no, I can think about this later")

    Your negative thoughts are bad habits. You can still have anxiety without those thoughts but it's much easier to handle. Your negative thoughts WANT to be thought. They feed off of each other. I find when I say STOP to my negative thoughts I feel.. uncomfortable, uneasy. I actually [I]want[I] to keep thinking these thoughts, because my brain is used to negative thought patterns. This is how I know that by repeating positive things and thinking often about how happy I am, I am fixing and slowly improving my anxiety.
    Last edited by delilicious; 07-19-2012 at 05:29 PM.

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