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Thread: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

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    Default Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I dance for a month now. Almost every guy I do a lap dance for is trying to touch my crotch or lick my nipples. And that I don't like and don't want them to do!!! When we are in VIP they think they can touch anything and anywhere, but that is something I DO NOT want them to do. However, I do want them to buy from me. I do not want to be too rude and say cold "no" again and again, because I am scared they would be turned off and not buy from me anymore.
    So is there a polite/playful way to prevent them from doing that?

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    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I have been there, and it sucks. I know you are afraid of losing money but my advice is to put that out of your mind when dealing with stuff like that. You've got to protect your own mental health and it may not affect your earnings as much as you think.
    Here is what I do.

    Sometimes, especially if I think the customer is going to be difficult, I go over my rules with them. I do this after he has already agreed to the dance and sat down, as the song starts and I stand up to start the dance I say "Oh! And the rules are blah blah blah." I like doing this because I feel like it doesn't really give them a chance to change their minds if they don't like it. They might not get another one, but at least I'll get that first
    On the flip side, sometimes I feel like when I tell a guy they can't do something, that of course try that first thing like a child or something. But I still think it's a good idea to tell a guy the rules if you think he'll be a problem.

    When a guy does attempt to cross the line I just tell him "no" in a very direct manner. Sometimes I pretend they are like a dog you have to scold, "No!" Or I will just straight up say "You can't touch there" or "that is not allowed".
    Some girls try and find ways to be cutesy about it, and if that works for them then great but at this point in my career I am over that shit and don't have the energy for acting playful like that.

    If a guy isn't too bad but his hands are starting to wander a little I will just take them and move them to my waist. They usually get it, but if they keep trying I will just outright tell them.

    Honestly, I don't think a night goes by where a guy doesn't try and push me.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I'm on my shitty phone and it cut me off.
    I wanted to say that guys try me all the time, and I learn to always be on alert and try and stop it before it happens. Sometimes they get one by me but I've learned speaking up for myself makes me feel better, even if it's too late and he already got his grab or poke or whatever in. Does it lose me dances? Probably but that's something I can't worry about because I'll lose my goddamn mind.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


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    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    Also, if I get an iffy vibe from a guy I not only tell him the rules up front but get the money as well. If it goes well and he wants more I'll usually let him pay for those after. Gives me a chance to feel him out but also not have to worry he'll try and skip out on paying if he doesn't like how strict I am.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I found a stiletto in sensitive areas always got my point across!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I work in a high contact area. I start every dance by smiling and pointing at my vag and saying, "You can touch me anywhere but here, and if you touch my boobs be nice to them!"

    I dance defensively. I expect every single guy to try something, no matter how nice they seem. Guys are dumb, especially the young ones. Even if I've told them the rules a lot of them are drunk and don't think straight once they get really horny and just follow their natural instincts to want to touch the pretty girl's naughty bits. So I've learned tons of little moves to distract them or just non-obviously slide the forbidden area out of the way. If my boobs are near their face, I play with them or cup them so I can cover my nipples if they try to suck on them. If they try to lick on my neck or shoulders I "accidentally" put my hair in their face (so glad I grew my hair out, because guys are constantly wanting to kiss my neck and it really grosses me out). If they try to touch my vagina I kind of move it out of the way in a way that just looks like I'm switching position. No matter how drunk, most guys seem to get the hint after trying once, and few guys will get truly aggressive about it. Some will say, "Oh, I'm not allowed to do that?" and I'll make a cute little sad face, and tell them I'll get in trouble and there are cameras. Or sometimes I'll just tap them gently on the nose and tell them not to be a bad boy or they'll get me in trouble. I encourage them to continue acceptable behavior, like back rubbing or stroking my legs by saying something like, "Oh, I love that, it feels so good!" I also make it a point to make every dance I do the best I can unless the guy is a total ass. Lots of eye contact and smiling, blow in their ear, stroke their face and body, I make it very intimate and sensual. If a dance is really good, most guys will feel satisfied.

    You wrote, "However, I do want them to buy from me. I do not want to be too rude and say cold "no" again and again, because I am scared they would be turned off and not buy from me anymore." The longer you dance, the more you'll realize that there are plenty of guys out there who will respect your boundaries and you will make plenty of money off them. So what if one guys says no? So what if you have a shitty night and make little money because all the guys are looking to play with your pussy? It's one night. The next one will be better, and if it isn't, the night after that will be. Every day can't be Christmas, and it's been my experience that a lot the customers that really throw cash around are the ones who won't even try to push your limits. So don't ever feel like you have to do something you don't want to do to make money. Never go home feeling bad about yourself. It's just money, and in this business you can always get more of it, but once you've lost your sense of self worth you will have to fight hard to get it back, if you even can.

    Fuck feeling rude, man. It's YOUR BODY. A lot of women have a too nice attitude and are afraid of saying no or of being rude and offending someone, we are raised to be people pleasers and you really have to let that go ASAP in this industry. You can say no and still be cute and sexy. And if that doesn't work, be a fucking bitch. I am a very nice person but I have slapped guys, kneed them in the balls, screamed at them, punched a couple in the face, and stood by laughing when one particularly bad one tried to finger bang my asshole and then got aggressive with a bouncer after refusing to pay me and got knocked the fuck out then thrown out the side door face first into the asphalt.

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    Senior Member Nicole_oh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    Always get your money before the dance, I give 1 warning followed by grabbing their hands and holding them above their heads (ifim in a decent mood) fight with me or try again I grab my stuff and walk out no if ands or butts. Licking of the tits- now I have a solid perfume that smells good but tastes horrible I rub that in the areas men commonly try to kiss or lick... its like spraying a cat with water when theyre bad

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I NEVER had that issue in my 7/8 months of dancing! To avoid customers touching me, I don't get ridiculously close to where they can do it while sitting. I only had my ass slapped once because I got to close, but I just learned to keep my distance lol!

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    Just tell them "NO!" I explain my rules after they've already committed to the dance. If they try something, I give the custie a warning, and if they continue to do it I walk out of the dance. I work in a super high contact city, where stuff like this is the norm, but you can figure out ways to dance for guys where it's more difficult for them to touch those areas but still get a quality dance (it's more detrimental at my club if word gets around that you air dance vs. you don't let guys touch certain areas).

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I agree with these ladies. Who cares about being rude? DON'T BE AFRAID TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Explain the rules beforehand, and if they fuck up, correct them firmly, ONCE. If they don't adhere to your requests, walk out. In VIP, GET YOUR MONEY UP FRONT. I always used to say something like "Well, let's go ahead and take care of business so we can focus on pleasure". Cheesy, but it works. Once you have the money, you have all of the power in the situation.

    Don't ever stack more dances than you can afford to lose. I have seen lots of girls who stack 10+ dances and then the guy claims not to be able to pay. Security and management can shake them down if they're on your side, but there's always a limitation to how much they can do.

    If you feel like a guy is going to be trouble, tell someone. Tell your manager, or the dance counter, or the floor guy, whomever. That way if you have trouble and need to go to management/security, you have someone to back you up.

    The bottom line is, you are NOT in this business to tolerate abuse. For every customer that sulks and doesn't buy because you set your boundaries, there's 2 more who WILL buy from you. If you tolerate this behavior, it WILL screw you up. Don't let them do that to you.

    Good luck. I know it's tough out there.

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    dude, dont worry about being rude. they are trying to sexually assault you. the last thing that you should be concerned about is their feelings.

    i always found that being unapologetic was the best. dont be all "im so sorry you cant touch my crotch... tee hee"

    here are some dialogues that i know i have been through ten thousand times

    customer tries to grab something
    me: "no touching there"
    customer: (whiny voice) "but why????"
    me: has anyone ever told you that whining is a very unnactractive quality in a man?

    me: please keep your hands to yourself
    customer: but i cant help myself. its so hard not to touch you
    me : (in obviously sarcastic voice) oh i feel so sorry for you. it must be absolutely terrible to have a hot naked girl on you. are you going to be ok?

    other things that work are as you dodge hands be all "this dance would be so much more awesome if i didnt have to pull out the matrix moves to dodge your hands." or "if you are not going to behave im going to dance over here (and move 2 feet further away). or just the good ol classical conditioning, make the dance further when they try to grab and then if they dont get it be like "sweety, have you noticed that every time you try to grab me there i move away? either you can stop trying to grab me there and we can get all cozy again or you can keep trying to grab my crotch and i can dance over here."

    also, try to get them to focus on what htey can get, not what they cant. you cant touch my crotch, but you CAN touch my boobs (or whatever is allowed where you are). or "i dont like to be touched there, i like to be touched here."

    it also depends on the customer. and your attitude. i was always a pretty sassy dancer so being a cunt to the customers who were trying to grab me like a blow up doll always worked pretty well. and a lot of business guys are accustomed to being able to walk all over people...putting them in their place has a certain allure for them. an unapologetic attitude can make it seem like they should be having fun, even without trying to get extra services from you. if you act apologetic it could give the idea that they NEED to do the extra stuff to have fun, which is not the message you want to convey. some customers though will require you to play some more mind games if you want them to keep spending. the old "oh id love to do that but it will get me fired (big puppy dog eyes). you dont want that, do you?" might work. althogh be aware that most customers know there are no cameras in the champagne room. safety first!

    dont let them push your boundaries. unless you want to end up messed up in the head a few years later. and NEVER feel guilty for having your boundaries. a 40$ lapdance buys a 40$ lap dance. a 1000$ champagne room buys 1000$ of your ENTERTAINMENT and COMPANY in a private area with a bottle of champagne (or whatever your prices are). YOU define what $x amount of entertainment means. NOT the customer.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    Here's a good way, "hey don't touch my crotch."

    If they really want extras or to push your boundaries like that you don't want them as a customer. You might make less money but you have to decide if thats worth it to you.

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I forgot to add...I NEVER allowed myself to be violated sexually for $. I don't let customers touch me during lapdances (except girls...but security sometimes gets on them lol but will go off on guys anyways who touch a dancer) or in privates/VIPs. I have made hundreds off of a guy or group of guys in a night with a no touch policy (although I don't mind them touching my thighs or waist ONLY). You can still have regulars and be at the top with your rules, because if a guy enjoys your company and beauty he will spend $. The assholes with a low amount of $ will harass you for the extras in privates and things. TRUST ME.

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    Here's a good way, "hey don't touch my crotch."

    If they really want extras or to push your boundaries like that you don't want them as a customer. You might make less money but you have to decide if thats worth it to you.

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    When I sense their hand is reaching down there I will move very fast but pretend it's part of the dance move, and then their hand ends up on a thigh or something. Once the guy tries to pull that shit I dance defensively. It's very annoying.

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    My way of dealing with this has already been outlined in this thread:

    -Get your money upfront, especially if they are giving creep vibes/drunk.
    -Be upfront with the rules
    -Be very serious
    -Don't feel "bad" about setting rules for your body

    I was at a bachelor party with my husband (I got married last week) and he is my driver. I was doing a show and I made the rules clear, no slapping my ass among other things. I actually recognized the bachelor from high school but he didn't recognize me. Anyway, at the end of the show he slapped my ass hard and I twisted his arm behind his back and it hurt him and embarrassed him in front of his friends. He tried to touch my arm like "hey, we're cool" and I just put my hand in his face, put my dress on, and left with my husband. I'm too far in my career to care about customer's feelings once they cross the line. No warnings anymore.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    as far as getting money up front, i tell customers it is club policy, that way they can bitch to the club and it isn't my fault. i have found our bouncers and management don't give me shit about this because i pointed out to them it is better to do it that way than to have more headaches for security trying to get $$$ from a custy who doesn't want to pay than me getting paid up front. also it hurts the club as my tip out is based on what i make. if i make less, staff gets less $$$.

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I once did a VIP to a terribly grabby guy who had huge wounds on his wrists, yuk, so I avoided his attempts even more than I'd have otherwise... anyway I ended up tying his hands together with a rope. (Too bad you cannot tie everyone you dance for )

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    ^i have used my booty shorts to make handcuffs on many many occasions.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I've tied men up with my skirt.

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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I just tell them that I don't allow touching there.

    If they don't want to buy any more dances I'm totally okay with that.




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    Default Re: Prevent customers from touching your crotch!!! HOW???

    I did a dance last night the guy would not fucking sit still, kept trying to lean up and grind on me.. about 30% of the dance was spent with me pinning him against the couch with my heel. They think it's hot, it keeps them at leg-distance away which severely limits what they can touch, and everyone else in the lap dance room or watching the cameras gets a kick out of it.

    Also id like to point out that when it's a dance special, like a 2fer, you don't owe them ANY special treatment. They're getting a discount. Put them in their place.

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