Results 1 to 25 of 25

Thread: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    172
    Thanks
    123
    Thanked 328 Times in 71 Posts

    Default Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Warning: A lot of TMI here:

    So, I've been having sex for a little over a year now and I've yet to have an orgasm from vaginal intercourse.

    I'll have amazing O's from oral - but that happened, to completion, just twice. I like "manual" as well (not sticking fingers in - ouchies!), but have yet to come across a guy who can actually be gentle with that region.

    Intercourse, on the other hand, feels nice but has nowhere near enough stimulation to fully get me off. I have sex so infrequently since losing my virginity that often times getting the guys penis all the way in still hurts a bit at first. Even guys playing with my breasts either feels like absolutely nothing or it just..pinches. Yes, I've tried other positions, they usually just hurt worse or are really difficult. And oh yea - my G-spot? It just makes me really want to pee. When I tried sensitivity creams with my S.O. the cream made his junk too sensitive for him to finish, and I've insulted enough guys already by using toys in bed.

    Its gotten to a point where I really can't blame the guys, I just feel like something is wrong with me.

    I feel like I'm surrounded by people who love sex, and sex is great, and everyones having nights full of glorious sexification, and guys want to have sex with me, and happy couples must have happy sex, and good sex is one of the indicators of true love, and, and, and...I hate it. I'm starting to fucking hate sex. Each time I get so excited thinking "this time will be different" but it just ends up the same: a sloppy rough fuck with me telling him to "harder!" "faster!" not because I enjoy it but because they'll hopefully finish faster and go to bed....

    But I want to find pleasure in it so, so bad. What am I doing wrong? Is there some secret I didn't get? Or are my sexual partners just that shitty?

    ...I've been having pillow talk with my vibrators...please help


  2. #2
    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Touring Louisiana
    Posts
    1,915
    Thanks
    532
    Thanked 1,536 Times in 735 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Just like a wide range of penises out there, there are a wide range of vaginas. And you probably have a small vagina. Now, it should stretch out with a lot of foreplay, but a lot of guys suck at this. If you've only been gotten off twice by a man in whatever way, then yes-- it's the men you're running into. There's plenty of guys I've slept with who've sucked at intercourse but been great at oral, or vice versa. And it's very few men who can really due manual sex in a way that drives me crazy.

    There's nothing wrong with you, and it's not an insult to bring a toy into the bedroom. For one thing, when you orgasm, your vaginal tract should be nice and stretched out and VERY sensitive so sex for the next few minutes after that should be really stellar. So you could try to get the guy to get you off-- or to at least do something that helps turn you on (and I completely understand about the boobs-- I hate people touching mine. It's only sexy to me like 1% of the time.)

    Another thing that's worked for me in the past is to do doggy style and hold a bullet vibrator over my clit. Another thing that's also worked really well is going down on my partner at the same time as pleasuring myself. Now-- this is a rarity because I find it distracting to do these two activities at once but sometimes it works like magic.

    I don't know how old you are either. I think for most women, their early twenties just aren't that great sex-wise. I feel like I had great sex at first when I was eighteen and then after awhile I was like, "This is it?" Then with each new partner it'd be great and then slowly fizzle. So obviously there's a huge mental component there to be addressed but in your case since there's actual pain, I think part of it is just your physiology. You'll have to experiment with different dicks, and different lovers with different sexual styles to see what clicks for you. But no-- it's not you.
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

  3. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to FiendishGyrator For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Featured Member zivlet's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    1,078
    Thanks
    769
    Thanked 1,353 Times in 542 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    I don't orgasm through sex. Only through fingering or oral combined with fingering (or a vibe). I enjoy sex if my man plays with my body, stroking correctly and stimulating my sensitive spots, then fingers me, then penetrates, I love the feeling but I never orgasm. I'm 30 years old-I've never orgasmed through sex. You're perfectly normal, think about things that really turn you on, how you would like a guy to touch you and then make them do it that way, obviously playfully without being too regimented about it, that can kinda kill the moment
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to zivlet For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    172
    Thanks
    123
    Thanked 328 Times in 71 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    On my goodness thank you girls so much. I was really crying my eyes out when I wrote that and now I feel much better - and normal! I will definitely try all these tips, thank you Hugs and vibrators for everyone!


  7. #5
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Could you have some sexual dysfunction? I have a mild case of vaginismus, which means I clamp down before sex. Some people with this issue can't have sex at all, and others like me have severe painful intercourse and I can't wait to finish. I ended up giving up on sex unless the guy becomes a serious relationship (like marriage)because I suspect this is part of the problem. I have never had an orgasm during sex but have no problem with other ways like oral sex and touching. I think the key though is to find a partner who cares enough about you to want to look at all the options.

  8. #6
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    SW Counter Troll HQ
    Posts
    5,582
    Thanks
    1,589
    Thanked 1,674 Times in 1,043 Posts
    Blog Entries
    13
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Coital Alignment Technique. Then his penis will be gliding over your clitoris during the ole in and out. Let's say your both exactly the same height. In less interesting missionary position sex you get to look dreamily into his eyes as he thrusts in and out, wondering why your orgasm has missed the train. Scoot him up so your kissing his throat or collar bone. At this angle the cock is penetrating you shallows out, and increases friction at the upper portion of the vagina, where the clitoris resides.

    Try that and scream down the house.
    Last edited by ArmySGT.; 08-28-2012 at 04:49 PM.

  9. #7
    Member DaisyD's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Guam
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 18 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    LOTS of women can't orgasm from just sex. I'm almost 29 and have never had one from just penetration and don't think I ever will, I have tried EVERYTHING. I just recently learned to orgasm using my finger during penetration, I never was able to before because using my finger always kinda grossed me out but I think I also just met the right guy finally. I still haven't been able to everytime we have sex though, I can about every 3 days but I can get off with oral and using toys when I can't with penetration.

    Don't think anything is wrong with you though. I was with a guy that mentally abused me and had me convinced that the reason I couldn't orgasm was because I was messed up or I was just holding back from him, this would constantly go into him telling me about his ex that was able to and why was I so different, I believed I had serious issues for years because of this asshole.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DaisyD For This Useful Post:


  11. #8
    Veteran Member Glasses's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    CE
    Posts
    656
    Thanks
    5,435
    Thanked 1,869 Times in 475 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    I can't get off with penetration, not even with toys, I only get off when my clit is stimulated, that's all. I tried everything, positions, different toys and different guys, but nothing works. My penetration-orgasms didn't arrive. I'm over a few different guys, but me myself can't even make myself climax with toys in my vay-jay, I don't even except them making me.

    I like sex, because I don't care of this orgasm stuff anymore. He cares of me, gives me oral and whatnot, so I like it, I just don't have an orgasm while he is in me.

    I heard differnet tips, none of them helped at all, but I also read that great number of women who has the same "problem" as me gets into vayjay orgasm and better sex around 30. I'm 24 only so I'm like yea, maybe in a few years time it's just gonna happen. Who knows? Then I will still have like 40 years to practice it lol.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Glasses For This Useful Post:


  13. #9
    Veteran Member Allice's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    380
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked 44 Times in 25 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    I just wanted to add, that if it feels like you have to pee when he's hitting you're g-spot, that's a GOOD thing. Make sure you go before sex, and then when you get that sensation, just run with it. It can take some time, and a partner you feel at ease with, but the end results are worth it

    I agree with what everyone else has said- finding a lover who's patient, confident, and skilled will make a huge difference.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to Allice For This Useful Post:


  15. #10
    Featured Member LaurenAus's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,361
    Thanks
    4,892
    Thanked 1,925 Times in 737 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    you are not the only one. My frustration is only fueled by my sister who only has to lay there like a plank of wood and orgasm at the drop of a hat (or so she makes it sound like). Don't get too worked up about it, it'll only ruin the experience. I have to masturbate myself in doggy in order to orgasm but even that takes awhile. Do you ever have sex with guys who really really turn you on and are sensual/skillful? Cuz your lovers sound pretty mediocre in the sack or you're just not turned on enough.

    I've accepted that I probably have to be in a relationship with a guy who cares enough to take a looong time working with me in order to make me orgasm. It's probably not gonna happen with my occasional casual hookups.

    PS I've squirted twice in my life. First from a g spot toy, and then it was easier to squirt with an ex afterwards. Both times it just felt like..released fluid..no orgasm.
    Last edited by LaurenAus; 08-20-2012 at 10:23 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to LaurenAus For This Useful Post:


  17. #11
    Veteran Member qwerty24's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Canada-da-da
    Posts
    224
    Thanks
    589
    Thanked 557 Times in 139 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Try hooking up with a guy in his 30's. Guys in their 20's are kinda rubbish in bed. Not all of them, but a good majority.

  18. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to qwerty24 For This Useful Post:


  19. #12
    Veteran Member Amareth's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Melbourne, Aus
    Posts
    640
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 684 Times in 234 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    I was with my first boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he could only make me orgasm through oral or other clitoral stimulation, the sex was fun for about 10-15 minutes but then I just couldn't wait for him to hurry up and finish. After leaving him and experimenting with other partners I started orgasming through sex and now cum pretty quickly and easily it just took practice and figuring out what I like and telling my partners what I like and don't like. Just like every other muscle the more you use it the stronger it gets so don't get put off, there is nothing wrong with you! It took me 3 years to have my first vaginal orgasm from sex and there have been Oh! so many since then

    I personally don't believe that there's a large percentage of women who CAN'T orgasm, I do however believe there are a large percentage of women who are self conscious of their bodies and/or sexuality and a lot of men who don't know how to use their penises properly.

  20. #13
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    464
    Thanks
    235
    Thanked 923 Times in 249 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    I pretty much have to play with myself to orgasm. And if I don't realllly trust a guy I just won't make that effort and I will not come. Some fucked up psychology there probably.

  21. #14
    Featured Member LaurenAus's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,361
    Thanks
    4,892
    Thanked 1,925 Times in 737 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    hmm best sex was with a 27 year old and a 24 year old..some pretty bad sex with a 46 year old..really depends on the guy..haven't slept with any 20 or 21 year olds lately so wouldn't know but I'd suggest keeping your mind open in terms of ages (:
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

  22. #15
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    USA, northeast
    Posts
    7,317
    Thanks
    30,600
    Thanked 17,688 Times in 5,185 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nuclear Martini View Post
    I'm pretty sure there is some huge stat like 50% of woman cannot have an orgasm during sex.

    Have you tried grinding on his pelvis? This can be done either girl on top (even lean all the way down, just do what feels good) and missionary. He has to be at least decent in bed...this won't work if you're with Mr.Jackhammer.
    Yep, a huge majority of women can't.

    "About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances."

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Reprodu...9#.UDPpDdaPXIY

    I've read some gynecologists think that the female body is just not designed to orgasm during intercourse and that it really isn't natural.

    Also there are some things that happen during the female orgasm that would seem to suggest that the natural way to have sex is for the male to stimulate the female to orgasm, THEN have penetrative sex. The vagina lubricates and actually tightens after the clitoris is stimulated to an orgasm (and wet, tight pussy has got to feel way better for both partners).

    If he really cares about making fireworks steer him to this book: "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman"

    Try it, you may both like it better that way


  23. The Following User Says Thank You to laurielegs For This Useful Post:


  24. #16
    Member
    Joined
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    No you are definitely not the only one!

    I have never had a single orgasm with any man during sex or foreplay, but I have no trouble reaching orgasm when I masturbate alone. I have started masturbating at a pretty early age, I play with myself often and got a few vibrators when I got older... I have a very high sex drive. I remember when I was still a virgin I would always think about sex and how great it would be since masturbation feels so good, sex should be much better.... I was kind of disappointed afterward...

    I only had two boyfriends and a few one nights, I never had sex very frequently. Sometimes, I knew the problem was the partner but other times, the guy was good, took a lot of time during foreplay but I just can't seem to enjoy it that much... I like when a guy touches my clit of fingers me but I know I would never be able to cum this way, maybe I am just so used to doing it myself...I love oral and giving blowjobs but I don't like intercourse that much... I don't know if it's because I have sex so rarely that it feels weird and when the guy's penis is too small I don't feel anything, when it's big it hurts me a lot since I am tight.... I always think about sex, I am always so horny but when I finally have sex, I don't feel that much pleasure and can't wait for it to end...

    I know that for us, women, sex is not only physical but emotions also plays a big part. I think the reason why I have so much difficulty having an orgasm with a man is the lack of trust, the past relationships I had were problematic and not very healthy. So now that I broke up with my ex, I am just gonna abstain myself for a while until I find somebody worth screwing despite how horny I am lol.
    Last edited by xseline; 08-21-2012 at 10:10 PM.

  25. #17
    Senior Member volatileghost's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    163
    Thanks
    155
    Thanked 214 Times in 84 Posts
    My Mood
    Inspired

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    I found after several partners that the only way I could actually orgasm was if I touched/played with my clit while he fucked me. Without that, I will NEVER orgasm from penetration alone. Since I started touching myself during intercourse, I can cum almost immediately. The same is said if I use a toy on my clit. Every woman is different! You may have to experiment. I've found that if I am not mentally/emotionally engaged in the sex, though, I won't cum no matter HOW amazing something is, so just try new things, new people, and open your mind, be comfortable. I've gotten to the point with my current partner where we both always cum and we're starting to try new things neither of us thought we would before, so it's really all about the connection you have with someone.

  26. #18
    Veteran Member Su Su's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Ya mum
    Posts
    559
    Thanks
    101
    Thanked 339 Times in 149 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Achieving orgasm through vaginal sex is like being able to lick your elbow (yes, I know 2 people that can do that).
    I know for a fact that I CANNOT orgasm that way, if you're good at getting yourself off, maybe you should get into missionary position while your rub one out.
    With sex itself, there's no other way to ease into it but to just keep doing it until you're use to it (anyone will tell you that sex isn't great when you first start, give yourself 2-3 days rest in between for yourself to "heal").

  27. #19
    Senior Member dianadixon's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    89
    Thanks
    87
    Thanked 63 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Wow, I'm pretty lucky! And also kind of a freak. I orgasm from intercourse 9 times out of ten, but in almost 10 years of sex and 10 partners, I have only orgasmed from oral maybe 5 times. I find that I'm too self-conscious to enjoy it much. Thing that have helped me with my bounty of intercourse orgasms: getting rid of my vibrators entirely; finding a partner that likes to do it slooooow and deeeeeep; locking one or both knees during sex (imagine missionary, but with leg/legs stretched out or girl on top with less straddling and more laying [helps that my BF has a big penis]); and if I'm not able to get over the edge, push my hand down hard right above my clit on my pubic bone while he's on top. Learning to masturbate with just my hand brought back SO much sensitivity to my genitals. I think that it's possible for a body to become addicted to vibrators, and everything else feels "eh." My boyfriend (bless his heart) tends to have to do me gently because if he does too much thrusting, he'll prematurely ejaculate and get all embarrassed. We've both learned to cum HARD from slow thrusts really deeply, very sexy. I think that men tend to also become addicted to jacking it hard while they masturbate, and then too little stimulation feels "eh," which is why they have to jackrabbit during sex. My BF doesn't masturbate but a couple times a year, so he is extremely sensitive. As for the legs locked, I once heard it encourages blood to pool in the genitals and ultimately lead to an orgasm. Not sure about that, but it definitely works. And the last part about the pressure on the pubic bone, I can't really explain either, but it works for me.

    Good luck!

  28. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to dianadixon For This Useful Post:


  29. #20
    Featured Member LaurenAus's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,361
    Thanks
    4,892
    Thanked 1,925 Times in 737 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    ^ these are good points. I sometimes wonder if I ruined it for myself by learning how to make myself orgasm from a young age manually and not letting a guy break me in if that makes sense.
    The way the guy thrusts can also have something to do with it..the best sex I ever had was a one night stand haha! with an uncut European dude. He didn't do the hard thrusting motion or the jackrabbit, he would "glide" without fully removing himself every time. It felt unreal and I've never had that experience again.
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

  30. #21
    God/dess shasta's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    2,175
    Thanks
    778
    Thanked 658 Times in 317 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    I can't do this with just any penis but, let me see if this makes sense...

    I am on top. i arch my back a little pushing my pelvis back. Hands on his shoulders usually (I love that). I ride his dick so that it rubs my clit every time. Basically, Im pushing my clit against his dick. This only works with a select number of penises, but it is great.

  31. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to shasta For This Useful Post:


  32. #22
    Member LilithAmadea's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    29
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked 7 Times in 4 Posts
    My Mood
    Stressed

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Sex was amazing until I had my daughter naturally. I had a rough pregnancy and a fast labor. On top of that, my doc was late getting into the hospital while I went into labor so I had no chance of having a c-section. So when I gave birth, I nearly tore all the way to my anus. He literally told me there was a hairline left before it would have become one large hole. I lost so much blood. I was in so much pain after, sitting on stitches, it took me twice as long to heal. Because of the scar tissue, I'll never be able to have another kid natural again. And sex has never been the same. Sometimes, it is more painful than pleasurable, but I try to get by. Usually, if I can manage to talk my fiance into going slow, being easy, and using a lot of lube...its ok. But really, it's stressful and very frustrating at times. I don't think my fiance understands at all...but I don't really expect a man to understand my womanly problems. =/

  33. #23
    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Look behind you....
    Posts
    3,406
    Thanks
    5,155
    Thanked 4,132 Times in 1,638 Posts

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    ^ that is so sad
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




  34. #24
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    SW Counter Troll HQ
    Posts
    5,582
    Thanks
    1,589
    Thanked 1,674 Times in 1,043 Posts
    Blog Entries
    13
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    LilithAmedea,

    This is the person you can contact for help.

    She may be able to correct the problem through vaginoplasty.

  35. #25
    Member LilithAmadea's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    29
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked 7 Times in 4 Posts
    My Mood
    Stressed

    Default Re: Please Tell Me I'm Not the Only One...

    Bah, I'm sure there are worse problems out there. I'm just glad I'm sort of not the only one that's having some trouble in the sack. Kinda helps to talk about it. I wonder if there are things that can be done to help. And thanks for the info. Maybe I can contact her. See what can be done. Hopefully its something that I can afford in the near future. Its not so bad. Sometimes I wonder if its ptsd. I hear its more common in mothers than I thought. @[email protected];

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •