Why do you think strictly FWBs care if your fucking another dude who approaches you in the club or about your past drama/conquests? I mean it should be irrelevant right?



Why do you think strictly FWBs care if your fucking another dude who approaches you in the club or about your past drama/conquests? I mean it should be irrelevant right?





Jessica, IME the whole FWB thing is never that simple. There is often at least one person in the arrangement who develops certain romantic feelings. Even in this day and age, sex is an intimate thing and that intimacy can lead to a range of thoughts and emotions, at least for one of the two parties involved.
If your FWB is asking a lot of questions, then IMHO the odds are good that he is starting to have other feelings for you.



Thanks for the response...well he already said he didn't want a relationship...but he asked if I messed around with this dude who came up to me in the bar today (this was back in May). I don't know it could simply just be curiousity, but I usually could give a shit about who else a FB fucks and wouldn't even ask because there is no relationship.
Uhh... because you are fucking them? would you want to be FWB with some guy who's raw dogging crack whores behind a 7/11 dumpster? condoms are not 100% foolproof, if i'm sticking my dick in you i would definitely care about what else is going in there.
"Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."



You're right.





Both Rick and Trem are correct - on the one hand, sometimes "FWB" develop things that weren't part of the deal so to speak. Also though, anyone who fucks each other on the regular SHOULD at least have some idea of what their partner is up to. Common caution. Whether or not they have a "say" is entirely different - but they ought to have an idea of what they're getting involved with.





Agree with all. I will say this though and that is if you do a FWB be very careful because yes in almost every case I know someone got hurt. I have had a few FWBs where we were both on the same page and both knew nothing would amount to it and these were fine but I've found very rare. I should mention when I did have a FWB and I was with someone else I felt it was common courtesy to let the other know because of disease, though I was rarely with someone else unless it was a threesome.
I do not recommend these really because of the issues surrounding them. Like Rick said it does bring up a lot of issues because let's face it a FWB involves something that many people only do in a relationship (or marriage). I was very lucky because I never got pregnant or a disease from them and we were all on the same page but I was incredibly lucky.



Thanks Kelly and almost Jaded! Good input.
There's supposed to be more to a FWB arrangement than just sex with no strings attached, if that was all you wanted you could just bang random strangers and have one night stands. The point is that you don't want to do that, but you also don't want a relationship. Exclusivity without commitment is a more accurate description, they are not your bf or gf but they are the person you have sex with.
"Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."





Except that you use a singular there. I don't know anyone who get's involved in FWB situations who is exclusive. None.





If it's exclusive than it's veering into relationship territory, no? That's been my experience, it gets exclusive and now we're discussing a relationship, otherwise he's just one of a few I am dating. I only tend to have sex with one because I'm paranoid about disease but I'd still date others.
Anywho, back to the OP. I think he's being nosy because he's testing the waters to see where your head is. Could mean he wants more from you or he wants to have sex with others as well, or he just wants to know if he needs to be extra careful of disease.
“What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE



A FWB is just a temporary or long term fuck buddy in my book. I never had an "exclusive" one lmfao! Even though I prefer one person.
There could still be feelings he doesn't want to admit to even though he doesn't want a real relationship. I had a long-term FWB who "didn't do relationships" but it was obvious that he was into me as more than a friend who he banged occasionally. (Not being conceited - it was just really obvious, to everyone in our circle). But even though he'd tell me I had no right to pry into who he was also fucking and would try to set "rules" and "boundaries" so I wouldn't get attached, he was the one who was always obsessive about who else I might be sleeping with. And the second he knew about someone, he instantly hated them and would talk shit about them endlessly, even if he had never even met them and just creeped on their facebook page... I mean, come on...
Point being, even if someone says they don't want a relationship, that doesn't mean they don't care about you and actually want you all to themselves. They're just too childish to admit it or don't want to give up their freedom by venturing down that road. But that doesn't mean you have indulge him. I do think he has a right to know the vague details about the rest of your sex life - if you're seeing other people, if you're being safe, etc etc - but you're right. If he doesn't want a relationship, then you don't have to answer his prying questions about specific people.
Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.



I agree with you Aurora questions about sexual health (condoms, STDs, etc) are questions allowed by even a FWB. However just randomly asking if I was messing with so and so is not. Who cares, we're not dating.

I know exactly how you feel, I have had a number of FWB, and one in particular became very attached to me. On one occasion after we were done doing our thing I decided it was time for me to leave so I wanted to go home. As I was leaving he asked me where I was going and why don’t I spend the night, etc. He asked over and over again before finally telling me “you know I have never had a girl do this to me before…” to which I replied “Hmm I wonder how many girls you have done this to!” That shut him right up! But this isn’t the first time a FWB has grown attached to me. It happened to me quite a lot actually (not bragging on myself) but I will never figure out why.



I guess men feel like only they can have multiple FWBs. They always want to compare themselves to other guys you are messing with and have a girl to boost their ego and only their ego.










I don't understand... Exclusive FWB? I thought when you had a FWB, your options are still open while you're getting laid? Am I right? Someone please s'plain :-P





You take another persons health, their life really, into consideration with these arrangements. The exclusivity part is that you and they are forthcoming with each other on who your having sex and doing that safely.
The arrangement is safe sex, not "let's not have a baby" safe sex, but the "let's not swap gonorrhea for AIDS" safe sex.
The whom, when, or how often are not important, that your being safe, and by extension keeping your friend safe too is important.



Exactly!
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