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Thread: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

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    Member ticklemepink's Avatar
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    Default Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Hello Ladies!

    About 3 years ago (when I was 1 I started stripping. I was young, naive, and still a virgin. Yes I was a virgin stripper. The first month was awesome, I was bringing home 200 to 1000, not doing any extras, and just having fun with the girls. Because the money was so good and I was having so much fun, I started coming in more often, almost everyday, and started making less a lot less money. Around the same time, I started smoking a lot of pot and drinking and basically just hanging out with the other girls, not really talking to the customers. To say the least, I got burned out pretty fast. After 3 months of stripping, I started doing nude modeling because the money so was much better. While modeling, I meet a photographer who introduced me into porn. After about 2 months of modeling, I started doing porn and at this time I was no longer a virgin. Even though the porn industry is dying out, the money in porn is sooo much better than the money I was earning in modeling. Shortly after I turned 19, I moved to the San Fernando Valley and started doing porn full time. On my days off, I worked at a nude club down in Van Nuys and started doing extras. After a few months of living in the San Fernando Valley, I started traveling all over the U.S. doing porn and nude modeling. At this point, I started escorting on the side and became heavily addicted to drugs, specifically meth. It was the lowest point of my life, I was so depressed, and I had broken every boundary I had set for myself at age 18. I had no self esteem, my life circled around doing porn, escorting, and smoking meth. Finally about 2 years after I first entered a strip club, I had quit the sex industry, quit smoking meth, and started going to my local community college.

    For the past year, I've been going to school full-time, moved back in with my mom, and lived off of what money I had saved. I've been sober (sometimes I like to go out and have a couple of drinks with my friends every once in awhile) and I've managed to maintain a 3.92 GPA. I'm hoping to transfer within the next 2 years as a nursing or biology major. Maybe one day I'd like to be a doctor. But, I grown bored of this life. I'm draining my funds and will soon need to start working again to pay for school and other expenses.

    I miss the flashing lights, the fast pace, the energy, and the butterflies every time I step on the stage. I miss being a stripper and I especially miss dancing. I love to dance, whether it be ballet, jazz, or cheerleading; one of my passions in life is dancing. And, I'm a bit of an exhibitionist too. I love showing off my beautiful body! I genuinely enjoyed being a stripper, it's part of my personality to dance and be a show off. I feel that because I'm older, not naive, and experienced, I'll be able to better handle the stresses and job hazards that are associated with stripping. I will still be going to school full-time and will not let my life be consumed with stripping.

    But...old habits die hard. Many strippers are drug addicts and prostitutes. I tend to give in to temptation and I'm afraid I'll return to the same path that I was on a year ago. I'm scared of falling into drugs and giving extras, which eventually may lead back to porn/escorting. If I were to become a stripper, I would only want to be a stripper. That is, dance seductively and take my clothes off. ABSOLUTELY NO EXTRAS and no physical contact with the customers. I live in the San Francisco/Bay Area, a city notorious for its "liberal values". Would it be too difficult to find a club where there is little/no contact and where I could only commit to 1-2 days a week? I wouldn't be able to travel very far (expect on holidays) because I go to school full-time. Lastly, I am in a relationship and I told my partner about my desire to return to stripping. He told me that he disapproves and wouldn't want to be with me if I was a stripper. I care for him deeply, but I'm afraid that if I don't fulfill my need for excitement now, it'll haunt me for years, and I'll be too old to return to stripping.


    Sorry for the long post and all of my ramblings. I realize that only I can make the decision of becoming a stripper again, but any helpful input will be greatly appreciated!

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Hi thank you,for being brave and sharing your story.If I were you i would not get back into stripping.your doing better now,why risk it?

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    If you miss stripping because of the dancing aspect, why not just take a dance class or join a dance group? That'll give you the added bonus of putting on performance (showing off) and getting to know other ladies to socialize and be friends with - the two main things that you seemed to do while stripping anyway.

    As for the money situation - are you working at all? Thousands of people go through college with jobs that pay a mere fraction of the income possible with stripping. There are jobs that pay above minimum wage and which don't require extensive experience or expertise either. With careful budgeting (and living with your will certainly help!) it's totally doable.

    It just honestly doesn't sound like stripping is the industry for you, and it'd be a shame to ruin everything you've worked so hard to achieve because you want to prance around on stage, yanno?

    Best of luck with whatever you decide to do, and good on you for turning your life around and giving yourself a second chance!

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    I mean this with the best of intentions but some girls r not made for this business..You may be one of them. Its wonderful that u r clean and n college....Unless u can set rigid clear boundaries for urself I agree with the earlier posters and advise that u stay out of dancing...Would hate to see the worst possible thing come to u like death..I dont mean to sound harsh but getting addicted to hardcore drugs can kill u..The worst part is that by the time u realize how far down u may be it may be too late...Dont be one of the statistics...

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    Member theSweetestSin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    I went through something similar as well. When I started dancing, it was good for a while then things started to spiral out of control. I kwit, got in a relationship, kept a full time regular job and went to school and excelled. I thought I was done, and then I started dancing one night a week while working full time n going to school fulltime. I am doing a lot better now, I work completely sober, not even one drink. It's possible, you've matured and know more now and have recognized your mistakes. Nobody knows you better than yourself. I think I let the industry get to me when it was all I did. I fell in love with the money. Stay in school if you decide to go back. I don't know about the situation with your bf though. I know of course its better to stay out but I know what you're going through about missing the certain aspects. Weigh out the pros and cons. If you aren't 100% confident that you will do things differently this time around, I say don't risk it. Thank you for the honesty in your story and I hope everything works out for u

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Quote Originally Posted by theSweetestSin View Post
    I went through something similar as well. When I started dancing, it was good for a while then things started to spiral out of control. I kwit, got in a relationship, kept a full time regular job and went to school and excelled. I thought I was done, and then I started dancing one night a week while working full time n going to school fulltime. I am doing a lot better now, I work completely sober, not even one drink. It's possible, you've matured and know more now and have recognized your mistakes. Nobody knows you better than yourself. I think I let the industry get to me when it was all I did. I fell in love with the money. Stay in school if you decide to go back. I don't know about the situation with your bf though. I know of course its better to stay out but I know what you're going through about missing the certain aspects. Weigh out the pros and cons. If you aren't 100% confident that you will do things differently this time around, I say don't risk it. Thank you for the honesty in your story and I hope everything works out for u
    You are one of the lucky ones..I applaud u for turning things around. However, not everyone is capable of that..It takes alot of willpower and not everyone has it..Thats just a fact. I say if dancing is a danger zone, stay out of it. Your life is too valuable.

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Congrats on quitting meth and being in school! Like Ava said, you are doing so great so I wouldn't risk it unless you really NEED the money. I left dancing for a while because I got in over my head with doing extras and having a boyfriend who was basically a pimp... and while I was gone I totally went through what you've described as missing the adrenaline rush that comes from performing and earning fast money. All money is NOT good money and I realize that now... I went back because I could barely afford rent let alone save for a car or school (FAFSA is out of the question for me until I'm 24 because even though I don't have a good relationship with my father at all, he makes a lot of money but that's a whole other subject) with the money I was making working two fast food jobs (no better jobs would hire me.) Luckily I found a club where extras are not allowed and the atmosphere isn't so bad that I feel the need to comfort myself with a destructive habit (which for me was my ex, but for other girls could be drugs.)

    I know I'm extremely lucky to have never struggled with drugs... and I'm pretty sure that if I had used drugs, I'd be under the control of a pimp right now, or dead. The last point I'll make is that there's a girl I work with at my new 'positive' club who seemed like she really had her shit together, going to school, decent relationship with family, etc. Well a few times it seemed like she was on something, and last week it got to the point where she spent her whole shift nodding out. Before you decide to go back, just make sure you will not become that girl.

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    I work at hustler club, in SF, and used to work in a nude club there too. The nude clubs have lots and lots of extras, like you don't even have to hide that shit. Hustler club you can't get away much in the dances or regular rooms but the curtain rooms are notoriously dirty, and at 450 a half an hour, 300 you keep, it's the best way to make a lot of money pretty fast, so the temptation might be there.
    Of course not all of the girls do extras in curtain rooms. My regular just doesn't like sharing a room (like you do in the champagne room) with other people.
    Good luck

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    double post

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Try Gold club

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Gold club is super strict and it's not even topless. Make a list of your goals, boundaries, money per night. Treat it like a JOB

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    Veteran Member Rayna Skye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Gosh I feel your pain. I stopped stripping 2 years ago, and I honestly feel sane again, however, I'm need some extra cash and I have been saying for 3 months that I was gonna go back. It's just hard to go back to it once you stop.

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    Member Dana009's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Well, sounds like your a little try everything gal and have found the stuff that didn't work for you. So why go back to it?

    If I were you I wouldn't put myself in that situation though, where you could fall into unhealthy situations.
    Last edited by Dana009; 08-26-2012 at 07:51 PM.

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    Default Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    Gosh that sounds scary and tough. Are you sure the emotional stress of resisting your old addictions and habits is worth the $$?? Even if you stay sober/clean the constant mental battle will definitely be draining. Have you ever thought about doing peepshows or gogo dancing? You can make money and dance but not be as tempted because you won't have drinks shoved in your face or VIP rooms to deal with. You won't even have to talk to customers! I know the Lusty Lady is a worker owned "peep show" joint where you also dance on a stage behind glass, the girls are pretty sober there, and make good money, I have a friend who worked there for years and loved it.

    Be careful about what club/environment you put yourself in. It sounds like you worked really hard to get out of a bad situation, and I really admire your strength and hard work. Keep it up!
    former stripperweb user trishaxxxo

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    Reminder Re: Conflicted about returning to the industry...

    I also wanted to add that I don't like your partner saying he wouldn't be with you if you went back I had a controlling partner that tried to make me quit stripping and it was a really terrible, long breakup. I think anyone who starts dating a stripper has no right to ask her to quit, but some people just can't handle it and going back to it during the middle of a relationship could very well end it. Make sure that is something you are willing to give up, is it really worth it? Also, does he deserve you, is he just stating his limits, or is he trying to control you? something to think about. *hugs* to you good luck
    former stripperweb user trishaxxxo

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