Hey guys, been lurking the last few weeks after a long break but for those who remember me I'm back!
I danced for about 2 years, haven't done it for about 18months now. After quitting dancing I took a waitressing job at the same club I was working and ended up in a relationship with a security guard. We've been together ever since and now live together. Everything has been wonderful, I've never been this happy with anyone and can really see a future with this guy.
Since leaving dancing I have done a variety of hospitality jobs working for a large corporation (wish I could be more specific but need to maintain privacy sorry!) and in the time I've been doing this I feel like my confidence, spirit and self-esteem have just plummeted. Anyone who's ever worked as a waitress probably knows the feeling...but the fact that I'm enduring some despicable levels of rudeness from people for less than half what I would make in a week dancing (and for twice the hours) has really started to wear me down. The fact that I work for a corporation and not an independent business as well means I can't defend myself at all. I had a woman call me retarded the other day, but I had to continue serving her with tears in my eyes. I look in the mirror and feel like in the last year I have aged about 10 years on my face. My job is making me so depressed, and when I finally get a day off I just want to sleep and not spend time with anyone. When I was dancing I could walk out of the house in gym gear and still feel sexy and confident, and on my days off I would want to see family and friends, tidy up the house and just basically try to better myself and be happy!
So after all that, I had been considering going back to dancing. After reading the law of attraction thread I feel like I want to even more. I have a feeling this will be a deal breaker for my boyfriend though. Apart from the fact that he does security for a lot of the clubs on the strip, all his friends do security there as well so there would be no way of keeping it quiet. I know he would be embarrassed if his friends were seeing me naked on the job. He has said before that he's really glad I don't do it anymore because towards the end of my dancing I was really unhappy and in a rut not making any money. But he doesn't remember a time when I was confident and making lots of money and really happy.
I don't know what to do. Don't know how to bring it up or how to convince him. And if I'm faced with a choice between him and dancing I don't want to make that choice because I don't feel like I should have to. I do know that if I stay in my current job much longer I'm gonna crack in a really bad way.



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