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Thread: how to cam after a death?

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    Default how to cam after a death?

    Hi guys, haven't been on in awhile , my Ex boyfriend of the last 2.5 years just died afew days ago, we were only broken up 3 weeks and he committed suicide .Im very hurt at the moment but still need to cam well find the courage to go back on again ,but feel guilty for camming becasue he never liked it. I guess im just looking for support and answers thanks x

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    Newbie JulietteSays's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to cam after a death?

    I'm really sorry to hear about that, Melissa, everybody is here for you .Take some time off from camming until you feel ready to go back. Somebody so close to you only passed a few days ago and everybody needs time to grieve. The good thing about this job is that there are no set hours so maybe in the near future you can ease yourself back in, and if you suddenly are feeling emotional you can get off cam and have some time to yourself. I hope you can stay strong in the coming months.

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    Featured Member AliceFun's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to cam after a death?

    I wish u all the best sweetie, this must be very painful for u, time will solve things out but i feel u need to cam cause u need money there, is that right? If this is your only source of income then u'll need to try pass the bad feelings and look good and happy on cam which is very difficult for u now given the situation. Btw, he committed suicide because u two split up? U must feel terrible if so but pls remember, is not ur fault for the decision he took, pls dont feel guilty over it, u have a life to live and a future to look forward to. Good luck and god bless u!

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    Veteran Member Tbean's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to cam after a death?

    I wish I saw this sooner I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what it is like to be in the adult industry and lose someone so close...my little brother died last year and it was by far the most devastating thing to happen to me...I guess what helped me keep going and work was knowing that I didn't have a choice and had to support my family, although school was another story...it was excruciatingly hard to focus on school work and I had finals within a week of his death, one I failed. If you can, take some time to grieve and honour his life, and most importantly don't feel that you are doing anything wrong by supporting yourself. It is a job, only a job...I know to some, they think its something wicked and bad but really there isn't much to it other than it's just a job, to us anyway. My thoughts are with you!
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    If I get upset, I just think about bubbles then go blow some...nothing makes me happier than watching beautiful, innocently fragile spheres float through the air then die. LOL!

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    Senior Member crashingsilent's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to cam after a death?

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss :[ This hit really close to home for me, as I have lost an ex&great friend to suicide as well. The few days after finding out about his death were some of the worse ones in my life. I tried to go to work nightly but would end up calling in from the parking lot. I just couldn't compose myself for longer than 30 minutes, which was the drive to work for me. Luckily I had really supportive co workers who understood and lived close to cover my shift! Unfortunately it isn't that easy in this job, we don't have a girl who can stand in for us when we are hurting too much to cam. There's a pressure to keep on schedule and for most- keep up the income necessary to live on. If you don't need to work I recommend taking time off right now. Take some time to yourself, time to remember and grieve. If you cannot, I still recommend taking some time everyday to do what you need to do to grieve- cry, scream, drive around listening to music. Take care of your (emotional) self even if you have to work a few hours a day. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to pm me.

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    Veteran Member Joanna_Kaary's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to cam after a death?

    Sorry to hear about your loss Melissa! My homeboy got killed in January and I was working a regular job instead of dancing at the time, and honestly do not know how I would have gone to work and put on the happy face if I had been dancing. I started dancing again about two months later and did feel guilty about it because he was the only male friend of mine who actually said he did not want me to dance. One thing I kept telling myself was that now that he was in heaven he knew everything, and understood all the reasons why I had to go make money. I also told myself that he could see the future now and was communicating to me in subtle ways that I would "make it" and that he was proud of the person I'm going to become.

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