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Thread: Reviewers and Hobbyists

  1. #1
    Member Jacquelynstarr's Avatar
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    It seems to me that the escort reviews made by some men to critique a working woman perpetuate a patriarchal standard in which men assign women their value as property--in this case, shared property.

    It bothers me! And I don't understand why providers put up with it!

    The strip clubs (at least in my city--out of state, they seem less controlling) and the agencies seem to be glorified pimps, extracting the most they can from each girl. I'm sick of playing by a man's rules. I'm sick of a working for and thereby perpetuating a system of exploitation of women. I have this vision of working for myself and building a client base by providing the very best service possible. I do not want to keep cowering to Big Brother in the hopes that he will like me, that he won't destroy me...

    I find it rather a bit disheartening to see that some men are still controlling this industry by controling the reputation of providers. It seems dysfunctional. I see the potential for abuse. Where is the site where we can post warnings about unsafe or offensive customers? Why are we--independent women--letting men regulate the world's oldest profession, one that is inherently ours? Are there providers who make successful careers without getting caught up in all of the review hype? Is there a way to manage reviews--on one's own website, for instance--instead of letting reviewers manage us?

    I'm very interested in the perspectives other women may have about this. For example: maybe you are able to perceive websites like TER as a tool. If this is the case, please describe how you feel and think about having these reviews. If it is not the case, how do you resolve your feelings with this industry standard?

    About me: I'm new as a provider, but not to this industry. I have just finished my first tour with an agency where I was told (not asked) to provide a service for a customer at a discount as he was a reviewer (my first). I passed inspection and was certified as a seven-points provider...Mother-fuckers. I'm calling my own shots from now on and will not be going back to that agency...And am back to having no reviews.

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    Default Re: Reviewers and Hobbyists

    It all depends on the girl and the market. In my city, if you don't have reviews, you barely work due to fear of le. I've made my brand through reviews, almost all my business comes that way. But, I'm really very good (told I'm better than Nikki [email protected] was in her prime) and work very hard and see more clients than most girls would ever dream (minimum 2/day, usually 4-5) so in a short amount of time I've collected a ton of high scores.

    I see this as a business, and the reviewers are about as good as Yelp, know what I mean?

    So if you want to be with me
    With these things there’s no telling
    We just have to wait and see
    But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
    Than waiting to win the lottery
    Besides maybe this time is different
    I mean I really think you like me

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    Default Re: Reviewers and Hobbyists

    Dixie, you're such a slut and I love it. Love reading your reviews too

    Totally agree with you about reviewers being like the guys on Yelp LOL! So true!

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    Default Re: Reviewers and Hobbyists

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacquelynstarr View Post
    I'm new as a provider, but not to this industry. I have just finished my first tour with an agency where I was told (not asked) to provide a service for a customer at a discount as he was a reviewer (my first). I passed inspection and was certified as a seven-points provider...Mother-fuckers. I'm calling my own shots from now on and will not be going back to that agency...And am back to having no reviews.
    If they were gonna push you into that and discount your fee the least the client could've done was give you an encouraging review.

    I see the need for some kind of safety measure for both clients and providers. But why can't clients just "review" a provider by noting whether or not he/she is 1) fun, and, 2) safe to see (not LE/not a ripoff) and be done with it? Isn't that what really matters? The lurid detail's unnecessary.
    Last edited by Aether; 09-26-2012 at 12:39 PM.

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    Default Re: Reviewers and Hobbyists

    Yes, reviews are awful & degrading... I go back and forth about actively looking for them and hating them as a sign of patriarchal control. The only real reason I want them is to have access to screening through those review boards. And because not being on P411 looks unprofessional.

    Right now I'm in a mood of refusing to compromise to the rules and I'm lucky that I don't have to but I know this is not the most practical tactic for creating a successful business, which is how I think of reviews when I'm in a good mood. They're reviewing a person, but that person represents & runs my business. I'm not making the money I could be but I don't see everyone who contacts me because I often screen out clients who have posted misogynistic reviews or who seem to have that attitude. There are enough guys out there who are not hobbyists

    About controlling your reviews... I have a page on my website that clients can submit comments to, and I've posted a list of nice comments from thank you emails guys sent after sessions. This seems to satisfy some clients need for proof. I think if you have a really good website, an interesting ad on eros and post ads/visit notices on TER you'll be fine until you meet someone who actually gives a humanizing review (if you still want that).

    Though, I know it all depends on the location. When I worked in nola everything was dreamy, though I had slight moments of panic about le. But I had as many clients as I wanted, though less pre-booking. New england is kind of maddening, and especially Boston seems review focused.

    Also, there are some sites that seem to be underused that are for provider safety. Some sort of hope for the future.
    Last edited by LucyDarling; 08-31-2012 at 08:50 AM.

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    Default Re: Reviewers and Hobbyists

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacquelynstarr View Post
    It seems to me that the escort reviews made by some men to critique a working woman perpetuate a patriarchal standard in which men assign women their value as property--in this case, shared property.

    I'm very interested in the perspectives other women may have about this. For example: maybe you are able to perceive websites like TER as a tool. If this is the case, please describe how you feel and think about having these reviews. If it is not the case, how do you resolve your feelings with this industry standard?
    I for one despise the review process; it forces unpleasant (and sometime unrealistic) expectations on the women in this biz. TER for example implements a rating system - what are we - cattle? You can only get the highest rating for amount of holes you're willing to take it in - not the level of service. For example, die hard reviewers insist that practicing safe sex (ie covered oral) acts are marks of bad service. Women are pressured to give freebies or forgo safety for good reviews.

    If a provider maintains a beautiful incall complete with warmed towels & expensive toiletries, is punctual, well groomed, articulate, is passionate & sensual in the bedroom - yet wont take it in the butt, suddenly is bad at her job. The chick shows up late, drunk, and unkempt yet will take a cock in the ear, swallow some nut for a low price is labeled "a courtesan." What kills me is that some women become complicit in their own exploitation; kowtowing to die hard hobbyists by tearing down of other providers who choose to to be review-free.

    In a perfect world, reviews are simply a recollection of what they walked away with from the experience. Not the whole story. The unfortunate reality is that this market views this crap as the last word. Anyone can write a review anonymously and never be accountable for their words; no one can contact them to verify the reviewer credibility. This alone reduces the industry standards immensely.

    the only way that providers can fix the problem is by mass delisting from these sites and publicly stating they cannot be reviewed...or paying a really good hacker to just crash the whole thing (LOL). Then create our own places where men can give the yay or nay without all the gory details.
    Last edited by goddesskali; 10-17-2012 at 08:00 PM.
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    Default Re: Reviewers and Hobbyists

    Quote Originally Posted by tabithacooks View Post

    If a provider maintains a beautiful incall complete with warmed towels & expensive toiletries, is punctual, well groomed, articulate, is passionate & sensual in the bedroom - yet wont take it in the butt, suddenly is bad at her job. The chick shows up late, drunk, and unkempt yet will take a cock in the ear, swallow some nut for a low price is labeled "a courtesan." What kills me is that some women become complicit in their own exploitation; kowtowing to die hard hobbyists by tearing down of other providers who choose to to be review-free.
    Funny as hell but oh so true!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    Funny as hell but oh so true!!!

    hey, only a TRUE courtesan takes it in the ear.

    By the way, I see nothing wrong with being a filthy slut in bed. I just don't want providers to feel pressured to do things aren't comfortable with.
    Last edited by goddesskali; 09-04-2012 at 08:50 AM.
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    Default Re: Reviewers and Hobbyists

    Teaze, you'd probably do a million times better if you moved to NYC - guys don't expect reviews there, and with your knockout body your phone would be ringing off the fucking hook. Seriously. I'm about to start touring there, would be so fun if you did too!
    Last edited by dixievista; 09-02-2012 at 03:34 PM. Reason: skipped a word!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Atlanta is very review based too, which is why I ultimately chose to pass on providing at the moment. My understanding is that it was different pre-economic collapse. At that time, there were also a couple of very private, UTR agencies that didn't allow reviews that don't seem to be around anymore.

    At this point, there are only about five to ten providers who are above $500 an hour, and I have no idea how well they do. The majority are in the $275 to $375, and in that price point, very much review driven. It would be very difficult to work in that rate range, and not have reviews. Same thing as the poster above said, they seem to primarily only get good ratings if they're willing to do everything under the sun. A nice experience with a beautiful classy woman seems pretty low on their priority list, which I guess reveals the class of the typical reviewer around here.

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    My first review I was a 7/9 on TER and I ended up being #1 in Boston before I moved. Don't worry about! I don't like reviews. I do not read mine, but every new review I got while I was in NYC a bunch of appointment requests followed. Some guys love fluffing reviews. I laugh sometimes at the words they use when setting the scene. One of the absolute worst is when they ask you in reviewer slang for certain positions in person! I am like..are you serious? What the eff is that? In Texas people keep asking about my "menu". I want to choke them through my laptop. I can't stop them. The holes thing is so true. I just closed my butthole and don't see girls. I will probably lose ratings now, too. Don't worry about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by strippername View Post
    My first review I was a 7/9 on TER and I ended up being #1 in Boston before I moved. Don't worry about! I don't like reviews. I do not read mine, but every new review I got while I was in NYC a bunch of appointment requests followed. Some guys love fluffing reviews. I laugh sometimes at the words they use when setting the scene. One of the absolute worst is when they ask you in reviewer slang for certain positions in person! I am like..are you serious? What the eff is that? In Texas people keep asking about my "menu". I want to choke them through my laptop. I can't stop them. The holes thing is so true. I just closed my butthole and don't see girls. I will probably lose ratings now, too. Don't worry about it.
    Sweetie , I wouldn't be surprised if you were in the top 3 in texas.
    Don't worry it's coming. You are smoking... smoking HOT. And that's an understatement. Sending good karma your way.
    You have to train those texas losers. I used to get upset too when they asked me for shit in person using acronyms like wtf. However,
    the best companions are great actresses. There are so many sexy ways to say "Hell no" LOL.


    Quote Originally Posted by tabithacooks View Post
    hey, only a TRUE courtesan takes it in the ear.
    Rotflmfao! I'm just glad I'm not a full time escort anymore. The stupid things these reviewers do and say would have me in an asylum right now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by strippername View Post
    In Texas people keep asking about my "menu". I want to choke them through my laptop. I can't stop them. The holes thing is so true. I just closed my butthole and don't see girls. I will probably lose ratings now, too. Don't worry about it.
    ^^ Welcome to Texas lol. Just consider yourself lucky if you haven't been asked for TUMA yet! =/

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    MegaLovely....Houston doesn't have a top 100 on TER. You know I don't care about ratings. At least the number where I am. It only affected me when I got a new review and now for someone reason idiots keep scheduling with me and aren't anywhere near me. How can I fake "I am not totally annoyed at you right now" with that? At least three appointments last week for NYC and they wrote "downtown" or "midtown". Both of those are locations in Houston. FML!!! Pretty funny when it came out though.

    Yellowrose...I have been asked for TUMA and stripper slides. I am not offended by TUMA. Stripper slides are another story and I am disgusted that it was put on "the menu" at P411. I took everything off my "menu" and now just "gfe".

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    Quote Originally Posted by dixievista View Post
    Teaze, you'd probably do a million times better if you moved to NYC - guys don't expect reviews there, and with your knockout body your phone would be ringing off the fucking hook. Seriously. I'm about to start touring there, would be so fun if you did too!
    Actually it's no different here. Especially for the 200-400/hr ranges. Providers end up scheduling reviewers to pad their calendars; alternative advertising is becoming scare and less effective. Its also impossible to buy top advertising on eros here -waiting lists are sometimes 2 years long, so out of towners are becoming harder to acquire. This all culminates in the increased dependence on review boards.

    it's all about being creative nowadays.

    Tease, don't stop trying because of one bloody website. There will always be good and bad in everything. Just keep placing your ads and don't participate (or read) the discussions. The content can make you depressed, lol. I may scan a thread with a halfway intelligent title & halfway intelligent discussion. Quick, but thoughtful response and keep moving. I literally spend 20mins a week on review sites; Most of the discussions are complaints anyway.
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    Ditto this:

    Quote Originally Posted by teaze View Post
    I don't like having incriminating information out there. Plus the clients with a lot of money to spend, who aren't on ter, don't like to see girls who have a lot of miles documented.

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    I agree reviews are rude, but necessary in this environment. Ladies come and go, so until there is a better way of guaranteeing that that a woman is a genuine escort and not a decoy or a ROB, they will continue to exist. Keep in mind many guys may not be VIP members and only can see limited info, but it's enough to know she is 'real'. The other thing to keep in mind is that TER sends notices to guys that 'their VIP membership is expiring' and that they can extend it by 'writing more reviews'... Reviews are often rejected for 'not having enough juicy details'...

    Sounds like a group of ladies should start a review board...

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    I've been wondering why this hasn't happened yet. If anyone has the tech know-how to start one I'm all in!

    Quote Originally Posted by CFMNH44 View Post
    Sounds like a group of ladies should start a review board...

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    When I started out I thought reviews where great because I was told by the agency they bring in business. well took some time but I learned that reviews are just an online locker room for the men. I don't like them but they do bring in a lot of website traffic to me and I have notice since I have reviews out there there isn't a guy rushing out there to review me because they probably feel what is written out there is enough and now I am noticing a lot of my clients say they see my ad because I post regularly in the advertising section some of these review sites make for escorts to use. so I try very hard to stick just posting my schedule and not engage in thier conversations.

    recently one of the local reviews in my city, the escorts on there some how turned it into a war zone to air each others dirty laundry, it has been said they have hacked each others accounts and posted unsafe ads , it became a place to pit women against each other to fear them as emenies. I am starting to think that this "competition" is created by the men to feel in control of the fact they have to pay to see us.
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    I once remember a guy who wanted an appointment with me, and in the email the first thing he asked me was about if I had reviews on TER to see if I was "worth his time". I told him that I do not accept reviews and that I do not "provide" what he was looking for; that I was all about dances and company. Instead of moving on, he kept saying things like "but that's not how it's done", "I'm a hobbyist and I demand you time", etc. Still, I kept getting business.





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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    I once remember a guy who wanted an appointment with me, and in the email the first thing he asked me was about if I had reviews on TER to see if I was "worth his time". I told him that I do not accept reviews and that I do not "provide" what he was looking for; that I was all about dances and company. Instead of moving on, he kept saying things like "but that's not how it's done", "I'm a hobbyist and I demand you time", etc. Still, I kept getting business.
    His arrogance is staggering.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aether View Post
    His arrogance is staggering.
    I know.





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    Quote Originally Posted by CFMNH44 View Post
    I agree reviews are rude, but necessary in this environment. Ladies come and go, so until there is a better way of guaranteeing that that a woman is a genuine escort and not a decoy or a ROB, they will continue to exist. Keep in mind many guys may not be VIP members and only can see limited info, but it's enough to know she is 'real'. The other thing to keep in mind is that TER sends notices to guys that 'their VIP membership is expiring' and that they can extend it by 'writing more reviews'... Reviews are often rejected for 'not having enough juicy details'...

    Sounds like a group of ladies should start a review board...
    We know why these sites exist and how they work.

    What we are discussing are the problems with the system and how it exploits and endangers the women in this industry.

    Review boards are not the only way. Men could avoid half the problems they encounter if they used the big brain when contacting a lady for an appointment. If a man sees a CL girl's ad charging $50, using cell phone pictures, misspelled words & slang, why does hiring her seem like a good idea? I refuse believe men are that stupid.

    I know this is only one narrative, but you get my point.
    Last edited by goddesskali; 09-08-2012 at 10:13 AM.
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    I think TER is for 40% for men to verify women are real, and 60% to put pressure on providers to perform every act under the sun. There are widely used sites in the U.K. that are far less explicit that work successfully.

    The problem is, now that TER exists, there's no way to undo it. Even if there was a Mexican standoff, and say all providers universally agreed to stop allowing reviews, now that the concept of reviewing online exists, it will continue, unless something happened that would negatively impact reviewers.

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    I think Tabitha really hit the nail on the dickhead there.

    Its generally pretty obvious when someone is not professional or is a fly-by-night type of girl, the misspellings, the tacky pictures, etc etc. If the whole point of reviews is truly and honestly safety, as reviewers love to claim, then these review boards would not be in need of "juicy details" - it would strictly be about safety concerns, just like when I ask another provider for a reference, I only need to know that he's not LE, he's not an asshole, and he's not going to kill me. I don't need to know how big his dick was or what she did with it. Those details are not necessary to protect myself.

    These review boards are a power play. These men must have felt pretty powerless before - I mean, you have to pay a woman to get her to pretend to like you for an hour or two? That's kind of depressing. These boards give them the illusion of empowerment, a place to brag about their conquests, and the ability to get the most from their money.

    I'm on eccie and NO ONE looks at the ads. Its just a sounding board for finding "diamond in the rough" BP girls. They don't care how many times they risk their life with a girl who is unprofessional or, professionally pimped, as long as they can stick their dick in something cheap, with a pulse, and whoes not entirely repulsive to look at. Finding a hot girl who is new to BP and is underselling herself in the market is the ultimate fantasy for them. At least a dozen guys get burned everyday, but they wake up the next day and try again....gotta appreciate that level of resilience.

    Now to say something other than just venting: I think the best solution is to first, not get caught in the drama. If a high end girl mixes in an online contest with a lower end girl, it only serves the notion that "they're all the same, some just have an over apparent sense of self-worth". If we want to prove that we are different and unique and have varying levels of worth, then we need to bring that higher end behaviour to all of our public interactions, not just in our ads and our pictures.

    Next, when you do get those good guys, reward them and make it known. I recently ran a special only for guys who had previously booked my longest "VIP" session, atleast once. I could have easily just messaged my contact list in my email but instead a ran an ad saying "SPECIALS!", and then made it clear that the special was only for my VIPS. Got tons of new clients and my VIPs felt special and rewarded. Yes guys were jealous, this is a good thing. Jealousy is a huge motivator for men, especially when beautiful women are involved.

    You've got to train these guys, punishment and reward. Password-access picture galleries, a little extra time thrown into the session every now and then, "thank you" messages, emails just to say hi, remember their hobbies/favourite drink/etc ....but ONLY for the well behaved. You need to treat your regulars like a fan club. They will keep coming back if they feel like you have a special relationship with them. My best clients all have one thing in common: they trust me, and they feel I have thier best interests at heart. Also, I acknowledge them outside of conversation to book sessions (of course, only after the first booked session - don't just chat with guys who don't actually book)

    Also, I think its much like the SD game, real SDs are not sitting around on computers giving descriptive details about their sexual exploits, so get out there! Think of places with sexy/relaxed atmospheres and places men go alone, but somewhere men have to spend money. I think the "hobby" is going through a lot of changes, thanks to the internet, that are not always beneficial to providers, but I think at the end of the day we control this market and the market has unending demand. Guys who are now happy with a 15min blow-n-go will sexually mature and grow to desire a more meaningful interaction, this is what I have noticed.

    All men desire sex, yet not all men are hobbyists. Why is this? Because to get to a point where your willing to pay for sexual encounters takes a few more issues at hand then just being horny. There is a sense of loneliness, regret, restlessness, mid-life crisis....etc. If you tend to just the sexual aspects you'll just tap the surface, to really get them "hooked" on you, you have to nurture those problems they don't even know they have (trust me though, they have 'em). They won't know what it is about you, what makes you so damn addicting, but you will quickly become a definite "need" instead of just another "want".

    As a last resort...there are creative ways to get reviews/stir up intrest...but you'll have to PM me for that


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