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Thread: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone else?

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    Default Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone else?

    When you get turned down for a dance do you hope that he doesn't get dances with anyone else so you don't feel unattractive?

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    No, I always want every customer who walks into my club to enjoy themselves and I'm not stupid enough to think I fit into everyone's tastes. If a guy straight up tells me he's only into latinas, the best thing I can do is go grab a latina chick for him. Then when she comes across a guy who is only into white chicks, she'll find me. Where I work it is understood that we have enough variety that we're not direct competition to each other .

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    Veteran Member Su Su's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    I just smile to be polite or give them a bitchy look to make them feel uncomfortable, it's like hey fuck you! I don't neeeeed yo stank ass!

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    No, it's just a case of personal taste. Some are only into blondes/whatever. Some like all the girls but if I just didn't do it for them I can think how I can change my game to make me seem more like their perfect girl. Sometimes it's me and a half-hearted hustle.

    Also agreed with devus- don't give a shit what customers think about my appearance

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    The way I see it, I never know who any particular customer may know or bring with them next time they visit my club, especially since times are tough lately, word of mouth is stronger than ever and I always want to be seen as the happy girl. Whether I'm happy because I just got handed $400 or because I was able to find another girl who better sited that customer's tastes, my smile will make me money either way .

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    I usually wasn't bothered because all men have preferences and sometimes a brunette isn't what they want, they may prefer a blonde or another ethnicity or whatever. The only time it ever bothered me was when I wasted my time with a guy and then he turned around and bought dances from someone else. If he's not interested he should mention upfront. One other time does spring to mind though and that was the time I was dancing with about 5 other dancers, all blonde. Three of the blonde dancers were ugly and two were obese and he got dances from all of them and not me because he hated brunettes. Him and his friend were the only two customers at that time in the club so when it was my turn to go on stage I just sat there. His friend complained (he wasn't buying dances at all nor was he tipping)to the manager and this is the one time the manager backed me up saying no tipping, no dancing.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    I would hope that most dancers wouldn't get upset, or at the very least not display that emotion!

    Granted, I'm not a dancer, but in my niche of the sex industry there's a certain sub-set of guy who actually wants to screw with our heads by 'rejecting us'. Bear in mind, in my niche (camming), the guys seek us out. We don't message customers asking them if they desire our services in manner a dancer would approaching a potential customer in a club.

    In 'rejecting' us, I think it makes some guys feel as though they have a modicum of power, so if their behaviour creates the intended effect of causing chicas to feel 'rejected' or less worthy, these guys are getting what it is they want. For free! Screw that. :-)

    It seems that in every sphere of sex work these guys exist, the ones who use dancers, cam chicas, etc as an outlet for their frustration with and generalized anger towards women. To give them the satisfaction of allowing them to screw with our heads is giving them something they don't deserve.

    I appreciate the dancer hustle because your job is more 'sales-oriented' than camming, in that most of y'all do approach customers, rather than vice versa. As such, it would seem to me that rejection' is part of the job, in that not every guy who enters a club is going to buy dancers from every single chica working the room. Even the decent guys probably say no once in a while. I love Desu's approach, and I follow that myself. When I'm working I'm focused on engaging with customers. A guy who isn't going to spend isn't a customer, or at least not mine. That doesn't make him an asshole, he's just...not relevant.

    It wouldn't make sense to get upset at something irrelevant.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Hey Pig-

    When you get ignored for a dance by a dancer do you hope that she doesn't sell dances to anyone else so that you don't feel unwanted?

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    No. Think about our job-if we got upset each time that happened none of us would have lasted two minutes.
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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    I always tell dancers that I am" good" and don't let the conversation continue if I am not intersted. I take issue when the dancer forces the conversation to continue, leaving me no polite way of cutting it off. However, I would think that professionals would not get pissed if customers pick who they want.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Oh my. I hope I haven't made someone annoyed by a turn down (I always try to be polite). But remember, ladies that there are a number of reasons I don't go for every dance offer:

    1) I just got there. I want to savor the view, enjoying the visual stimulation for a while before I escalate the experience. Sometimes 'maybe later' really means that.

    2) I might be waiting to see if one of my regulars is there. There are some dancers who I have a history with and a bit of extra magic happens with them.

    3) my wallet (and libido) have limits. I cannot give full attention to every woman in the club.

    4) Even if I did prefer the look of another dancer, don't take it seriously. I well know I'm not the hottest stud sitting at the bar.

    5) Remember this is a business. You're there for the money, not because you want this guy, don't let emotions get involved.

    6) there are some dancers I've eventually connected with after I've seen them a couple of times.

    And a note to comment #3(C): I have an active sex life. I like the club scene precisely because it's a simple uncomplicated erotic experience just for laying down some cash.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by flyguy29 View Post
    However, I would think that professionals would not get pissed if customers pick who they want.
    I've seen them get pissed. One stripper I regularly turned down gave me a death stare when she saw me come downstairs from the VIP room. Another time after another rejection from me, she walked away cursing at me.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    B. Am the most attractive girl at my club
    Then let's see some pics, sweetie.

    I would also like to add that strippers can be quite self conscious. One asked me for a dance twice in a span of an hour, then when I said no she asked if I was planning on getting dances with anyone else. I think she was relieved when I said no. And a friend of mine got yelled at by a stripper for not getting a boner during a dance. So I wonder, are you as confident as you'd like me to believe?

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Sweetie?? Really?

    Why would she find a need to provide pictures to try to validate herself to you??


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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by Pig View Post
    Then let's see some pics, sweetie.

    I would also like to add that strippers can be quite self conscious. One asked me for a dance twice in a span of an hour, then when I said no she asked if I was planning on getting dances with anyone else. I think she was relieved when I said no. And a friend of mine got yelled at by a stripper for not getting a boner during a dance. So I wonder, are you as confident as you'd like me to believe?
    Actually if you read the picture post thread you will see that many of the girls do post pics of themselves on occasion. Customer Convo, OTOH, is not show n' Tell. Patronizing the dancers on this site would be an ill-advised approach to posting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by Pig View Post
    When you get turned down for a dance do you hope that he doesn't get dances with anyone else so you don't feel unattractive?
    Well, in the scenario where a customer would turn me down and get a dance with someone else then chah, it would make me feel pretty damn unattractive for about 5 mins.

    I get that rejection is just part of the job but dude, it would still sting.
    Last edited by MyButter; 09-05-2012 at 06:07 AM. Reason: lol, i don't need explain myself.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    I doubt the girls take things too personally. A steady string of denials might put a damper on things for them but they're not asking for dates, they're asking for a chance to take your money. in order to make a lot of money off a lot of guys, getting turned down becomes part of the equation.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Bem is right and, honestly, girls who don't learn how to handle rejection don't last long in the business. Even on a great day you will probably get more no's than yes's unless you have a string of regulars lined up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by Pig View Post
    Then let's see some pics, sweetie.

    I would also like to add that strippers can be quite self conscious. One asked me for a dance twice in a span of an hour, then when I said no she asked if I was planning on getting dances with anyone else. I think she was relieved when I said no. And a friend of mine got yelled at by a stripper for not getting a boner during a dance. So I wonder, are you as confident as you'd like me to believe?
    It sounds as if you want us to admit that we're insecure so it makes you feel better about yourself. This thread has some snidy details to it, though. You would be better off being genuine and friendly and asking outright.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


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    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Bem is right and, honestly, girls who don't learn how to handle rejection don't last long in the business. Even on a great day you will probably get more no's than yes's unless you have a string of regulars lined up.
    For me, there was a huge difference betwen the way I handled rejection and the way it really made me feel.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by MyButter View Post
    For me, there was a huge difference betwen the way I handled rejection and the way it really made me feel.

    I've heard that from quite a few girls over the years. That's exactly what I mean by how you handle it. Even if it hurts, annoys or angers you getting upset about it, especially in front of customers is only going to hurt your money in the long run.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Short answer: Yes.

    ..but not because it makes me feel unattractive. Hell, I get mad when girls are doing dances for guys I haven't even talked to yet!

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by Pig View Post
    Then let's see some pics, sweetie.
    I guess I shouldn't expect much from your username, but that's pretty rude. Also: I can vouch that her claim is true.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    Quote Originally Posted by Pig View Post
    I've seen them get pissed. One stripper I regularly turned down gave me a death stare when she saw me come downstairs from the VIP room. Another time after another rejection from me, she walked away cursing at me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Pig View Post
    I would also like to add that strippers can be quite self conscious. One asked me for a dance twice in a span of an hour, then when I said no she asked if I was planning on getting dances with anyone else. I think she was relieved when I said no. And a friend of mine got yelled at by a stripper for not getting a boner during a dance. So I wonder, are you as confident as you'd like me to believe?
    Pig, what are you fishing for here, admissions from dancers that you have the power to make them feel bad when you turn them down?

    IMHO the answer is yes for some and no for others. IME the seasoned pros learn to roll with it, but there are indeed a number of dancers out there who don't handle rejection too well. You happen to be on a site with a lot of seasoned and savvy dancers, so the answers you are receiving from this group are not surprising.

    But why revel in it? As a customer, I don't take any pleasure in making a dancer feel bad about herself. In fact, my goal is to minimize excess drama, which only gets in the way of my entertainment.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 09-05-2012 at 09:23 AM.

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    Default Re: Do you get angry when a guy doesn't get dances with you but does with someone els

    No. That means he can't afford me. ;-P

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