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Thread: Do not understand her actions! Help!

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    Default Do not understand her actions! Help!

    I don't do strip clubs, if I do, I sit there... Anyway I go last Friday at a place in Cincinatti, I am absolutley blown away by this girl, to the point I'm not about to say anything, so my friend buys me a private dance, she's super nice, she dances, it's good. She leans over and tries to opoen mouth kiss me, which I pulled back, and was like "Woah, that's how you roll?" She leans into me and goes "Listen, you're hot, and you know you are." (I'm not bad looking). So now, I'm thinking "Its all money." p.s. I'm drunk... She goes, "do you want to go in a private room" I'm like, "How much?" ...$150. "No thanks." she goes "Ill do it for 75" my drunkass goes "lets go". we get in there, she goes, "are you single?" "Yes" "Good, me too", she is allllllll over me, I'm mean extremly agressive, tounge in the ear, biting my neck, hands down pants, "you are so hot."...

    Now i'm completly "at attention". I say, drunkingly, "I would tear you apart." She laughs, at the same time, the guy opens the door says "times up" she stands up, goes to the guy "can you get me a water" he does, AND SHE SHUTS THE DOOR and goes "Ok, try to tear me apart..." It gets pretty heavy. So it ends, i say "wow, didn't think that would ever happen..." she goes "It will when I give you my number." She does.... I text her right then to put my number in my phone.. next day nothing, 1 more try nothing, finally i go "whats the deal" she texts me "I'm sorry, i fell asleep right after i left, and I felt bad i didn't text back, i didn't know what to do. I'm working tonight, come see me..." ...the jig is up. I say "dude, im not coming down by myself" "Were dead tonight, u can hang with me." ..so I do, i go outside, she sees me, and comes out, sat there for 3 hours talking, i think i bought us one shot. I keep telling her "don't give me any dancer bs." She says, "You know my real name, I gave you my number, my address is bla bla bla. Now do you believe me.?" She goes, "Ill be back in a minute, i gotta go make money." im like, I get it... then she goes "I'd rather take someone elses money then yours." she knew my name, where I was from, remembered everything... She tells me,"Im off Wednesday, lets hang out, whatever you want to do."

    She was giggling recalling the story from the first night like "I was buzzed, not as bad as you, but I thought, you're hot I'm hot, I wanted to....I got in trouble for that." The owner guy comes over to me, pats me on the back, shakes his head, and goes, laughing "you got her in trouble that night" im like this is insane.... I leave, seriously buying one drink for her, she says "thank you for being respectful to me. Ill text you." ...next day, "Hi" I say "we still on?" she goes "yes" that day I hear nothing, I'm like "if you're gonna blow me off, at least be nice enough to lie, not just not text...." still nothing.. later on "I am sooooo sorry, I had school all day, and got called into work, i just got to me phone, I will call you tommorow..." ...nothing. I don't get it... I dont buy it. What girl isn't glued to her phone, and if she got called into work, she had to of seen the text. What the hell kind of behavior is that? To see me, say your interested. then nothing, I am stumped....
    Last edited by Elemental; 09-07-2012 at 04:22 PM.

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    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    OMG, they're called paragraphs. Use them.

    If she wants to see you outside of the club and isn't asking for your money, she probably likes you.

    She's either, genuinely busy, or is playing multiple people and you're not her favorite. If you don't want to put up with it, don't. If you're fine with getting jerked around by a hot chick, go for it.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    You are being played. She wants you in the club spending money on her-even if she says she doesn't. It's not my favorite type of dancer behavior but it's really not all that uncommon.

    End of story.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    there, it's paragraphed..... And yea, that's what I figured anyway.

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    Veteran Member Doc Holliday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    She's either playing you as others said or just indecisive. You already gave her a second chance; she doesn't deserve a third.
    Nope silly, its just a persona that entertains the masses, yourself included. - KS_Stevia

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    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    doc holiday, indecisive of what? shes playing him. if someone is interested in a person, they make time to shoot a 3 second- "hi" text or something. shes playing games with him and is not that into him.

    also, i am guilty of being drunk and caught up in the moment- NOT SAYING I DO EXTRAS- but there are times when im pretty drunk and having too much fun and flirty and drunkenly hand out my number, wake up the next morning to see a text from them then totally blowing them off and couldnt care less for them.

    however, the difference is that she is actually keeping in contact with him, so i have to agree with yoda she wants his money.

    once you spend money on a dancer, she will ALWAYS expect you to keep that up. shes keeping tabs with him to still have a chance to make money off him again. he is nothing more to her because she refuses to let him in her personal life.

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    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    sorry, elemental i was talking to doc holiday but that is my 2 cents on the situation. youre wasting your time.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    As other have said, you are being played. She is trying to lure you back into the club. You are not the first guy that she has done this with and you won't be the last.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    Theoretically possible she really likes you, but is flaky and frequently blows people off whether she likes them or not--I've known plenty like that.

    Most likely playing you but there is possibly some genuine attraction. It's not always black or white, sometimes there's a little grey area in there.
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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    For the sake of argument I'll agree with Djoser here. I've been seeing a dancer for a couple of months now that I had all but written-off after a couple of years of trying to get together OTC (not P4P). Without getting into the details too deeply we kept scheduling time together OTC and she kept having to cancel. Once we finally got together and I started to learn a bit more about her life outside of work I understood what the issues were and why she has to cancel sometimes. Frankly I'm glad that both she and I kept at it and finally got together.

    Now, I'm the king of living in the gray area. I try very hard to approach people and situations based of facts, not on stereotypes. Still, I'm taking an educated guess that the OP is being played but it's ultimately his call as to whether he wants to pursue things further or not.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    My BS Meter is flickering in that besides juvenille level writing style, there are NO stripclubs in Cincinatti. The only one "listed" under Cincinatti (A DV club which was closed several months ago) was actually in a distant suburb over 20 miles driving from downtown.

    Perhaps, OP missed the "Welcome To Kentucky" sign across the river in Newport KY. Post still looks like "Dear Penthouse" letter written by a bored teenager.
    Last edited by minnow; 09-08-2012 at 03:34 PM.
    I'm right 96% of the time. I don't sweat the other 5% .......................

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    To be fair I wouldn't think much of it that he said Cincinnati because I worked in a few suburban clubs but people would still say they were Chicago clubs.

    Anyway I have to agree that she is probably bsing. None of what she said really means it is legit. I used to tell guys my "real name" (which wasn't my real name)after they spent time with me and even told them where I lived (this was a lie too). Yes there are strippers who are interested in customers but in almost all the cases I know (including mine)it takes more than one time to get to that point. Strippers are very sensitive about things like dating customers because they know dating one could cause a loss of a customer so they want to make sure it is worth it or will not affect them. In my case I was leaving the club anyway so it made no difference.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    Elemental, I think most guys on here will admit that they've gotten those types of texts at one time or other.

    Is she playing you? Yeah, probably. You're right - she's probably glued to her phone, so she got your texts which means, yes, she blew you off twice. The goal is to keep you thinking she's really into you outside the club so you'll come back to see her in the club. She'll string you along as long as you're willing to be strung.

    That being said, there is a smaller percentage that Djoser is also right. She does kinda dig you, but she's just flakey and likes to offer stuff up to keep her options open. But when the day/time actually arrives, if she has something better going on, she'll do that instead. Or maybe she just doesn't feel like going out. Either way, she ignores you. It's the easiest way to deal with you, especially since you're not a paying regular.

    Truth is, you don't know which one it is for sure (though it's probably the first). What you do know for sure is that she's not SUPER into you...otherwise she would text you first. She'd call you first. She'd apologize for flaking first. She'd offer you MANY other replacement times. And finally...she'd actually show up. And EVEN THEN, it might still be a hustle to keep you on the hook, pay bills, etc. Sorry to be cold about it, but I had to learn the hard way. Better to blow away the mystique now, trust me.

    Let her prove that she's into you. She already knows you dig her.

    PS - I wouldn't hold your breath for that phone call she promised...

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    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    isnt it kinda funny that the ones who are saying theres a chance that she might be into you are male?

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    Kellydancer isn't a male. And she said "probably bs-ing".

    That being said, OP, listen to JoJo. She's trying to tell you something too.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    If you really want to find out if she's "into you" (or at least sees you as more than a customer). try pulling the club spending. No matter what she says or how she acts, if its all built around you spending money on her in the club, you are almost certainly nothing more than a customer to her. Actually, my experience over the years tells me any girl who truly sees you as more than a customer will take the lead and stop the dancer/customer dynamic herself. And none of my dancer/customer relationships that transformed into something better ever transformed after just a visit or two. I'd say they all took place once the girl knew me for close to (if not more than ) a year.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    I wouldn't say zero percent but more like 1%. I think Bem is right to some extent because one way to gauge interest is if the dancer sits with him. For example the one guy I did like it came to the point where I would sit with him for awhile (in between customers)and he would talk or massage my feet. In the beginning he would pay me to massage my feet but after awhile it graduated to him massaging them for no money to us getting together outside the club for him to do this and went from there.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    The you liking him part came first. The foot massages came later.

    Those of us who've been around the block a few times on this subject can of course split hairs on the percentages all day long and the entire discussion assumes our familiarity with the game. For a newbie, though, saying "1%" is like leaving the barn doors wide open for a century and a half. These guys never even hear "0%." It's like their brain blocks the cognitive signaling pathways.

    1% is halfway to the moon for them.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    Very true. Basically the chances of winning the lottery would be greater than winning the heart of this dancer.

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    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    LOL you guys are cracking me up! this is not rocket science! she ONLY SEES HIM AS A CUSTOMER!!

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    Stripper + customer = she does not like you. 99.999999% of the time. Just enjoy the dances and leave the dating to women who aren't counting on you for rent.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    ^ LOL. After all that discussion, it's still 99.999999%.

    I had a lot more written, but I decided it's irrelevant and erased it. The reality is "snowball's chance in hell."

    Yes, nothing is absolute, but if you want to be the sad sack on the track that bets on the long shot, that's your responsibility.
    Everyone here can only tell you that the probability is next to zero. What you choose to believe and how you behave after that is on you.

    Had to learn that one the hard way
    Last edited by Kessler; 09-10-2012 at 12:51 AM. Reason: Changed my mind. It happens now and then.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    ^ It's a massive confirmation bias for positive events.

    If there is a positive outcome at the end of all those nines, all humans have a dramatically exaggerated sense of the likelihood of that positive outcome. This happens no matter what the positive event -- winning the lottery, finding a dozen four-leaf clovers in a row or dating a dancer you met ten minutes ago in a dive bar. People will say, "hey, it could happen!" and they're right. But it won't.

    We don't have this same bias at negative events. So there is a 99.99999% chance you will survive any given commercial airline flight. The vanishingly low likelihood of disaster scares nobody, though. People know it means they are safe, and they accept those odds. After all, how many people do you know who will stop at the gate and say, "Hey, it could crash! And it could be me!" Of course not. Are you insane?

    You are only thought to be insane if you have an unreasonable belief in a negative event. Lottery ticket buyers every day have the same unreasonable belief in a positive event of the same likelihood and are thought to just be optimistic.

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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    ^ Excellent post. I never thought of it that way. The odds of getting struck by lightning are better than the odds of winning the lottery. But I don't go outside thinking, "I'm gonna get hit today, I just know it." Yet, if the outcome is positive, I'm predispose to believe, "This is the winning ticket, I just know it!" Even though, again, those odds are far worse. Fascinating.

    And as JoJo implied, some of us guys are more prepared to say, "yeah, there's a small chance," because it could validate our own hope. Even though, we too, know better.

  32. #25
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do not understand her actions! Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    isnt it kinda funny that the ones who are saying theres a chance that she might be into you are male?
    Well it's happened to me a few times--though I never buy dances so maybe there's a difference in the dynamics of the situation. Having a dancer flake out on a meeting or date is not at all unusual though. Just trying to arrange a meeting for some platonic bodypainting will sometimes take 3 tries.

    I have seen guys in the clubs hook up with dancers before many, many times--but usually they aren't buying dances. I've seen it happen that way as well, but it's much less frequent. Almost 13 years working the clubs, you see a lot of things, and not always what you'd expect to see. I've even seen long term customers turn into boyfriends, but that is so fucking rare as to be almost impossible.

    The acid test for guys like the OP is to stop spending money on the dancer, of course.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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