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Thread: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

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    Default So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    So last night when it was a bit quiet I was sitting with these two guys, for about 10-15 mins chatting, and sussed out that one of them really liked me, and had cash to spend (they were tipping me pretty well just for chatting). So i was working to a close, when the DJ walks up and asks me to do stage next. So I keep talking, saying i'll be back after i'm on stage. Then a hostess comes up, and tells me i have to go up to a booth thats just been sold. (Booths include 2hrs dances so they send up a few girls for them to pick from). So i say goodbye to the boys, and go up to the booth and introduce myself.
    After about 1-2 mins i have to go on stage, and after my set a dancer tells me that i've been booked for 30 mins by the group, and 10 mins by a guy i danced for previously. I had to move fast to pull off the timing but after I was finished with the bookings, I went back to the boys i was chatting with earlier.

    When i got there another dancer was with the two of them, not really saying anything, so i came over to the guy i was chatting with and basically said "I'm all ready to go for a private dance now! sorry i took so long I got double booked". He got up and we went to the lap room.

    So i'm pretty sure i'v pissed off the other dancer... But i don't know if i what i did was cut throat, considering i'de been talking with them for a while before hand, and i don't really know whether she was trying to sell to him or the other guy.

    Would really appreciate some opinions... I'm pretty new to dancing and i don't wanna step on any toes.

    Thanks

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    What you did is acceptable since you previously arranged a dance with the customer. The other dancer just has to get over it. If you feel the need, explain to her about it and that you'd previously spoke with the customer and arranged a dance. And kudos on selling so much! Sounds like you had a good night!
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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    That wouldn't fly with me or the girls I work with. I would have a quiet word with the girl first then approach- be prepared for her/others to do this with you now.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    But, there was two guys she said. Here in Vegas, two guys means two girls go over. One dancer can't hog two guys. She said there was one dancer sitting with the two of them.
    Okay life, you wanna test me some more? BRING IT ON 'cause i can take whatever ya got coming!!!!

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    When iv been with a group other dancers have joined before, but not come up and just closed. What's the etiquette when there are 2 guys? And thanks for all your advice

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    In Australia this wouldn't fly, what if you were working on a group sale? I would ask to sit down unless the girl and I worked together and had prior arrangements.

    Don't come to Melbourne and do this ladies.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Well, this is just my opinion and I'm pretty sure that I work in clubs that have way different and way less rules than most of the clubs you guys work at BUT, what some dancers seem to forget is that the customers have free will and they aren't obligated to get dances or tip any one that is sitting/chatting with them. Let them tip who they want since they've got the money. The girl that was sitting there shouldn't feel any way towards you because it's not like you came up and put a gun to his head and forced him to leave the table. If he wanted to get a dance with her, he would have. If he wanted to tip her, he would have. It would be one thing if you stormed into the lap dance room and took the guy mid dance from her, but that wasn't the case. It would also be sucky of you to go over there while the guy was literally tipping her cause then you'd be stepping on their toes but this attitude of "this customer is off limits cause so and so is sitting there talking about the weather" is nonsense to me. If that customer was really off limits, he would have shoo'd you away and continued his conversation.


    I don't consider what you did grounds to piss anyone off and it's a far cry from being cut throat. Stripping isn't a team sport and none of us control any of the customers or their money.

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    I could see why the girl sitting with the customers would get pissed off that you just waltzed in and closed the sale right away, but the customer could've told you no if he wasn't interested. I think it would've been nice of you to ask the table (pointedly looking at the girl) if they didn't mind some company now that you were available again. Basically just to make it clear to the other dancer that you had already been sitting with them before, so you weren't just swooping in.

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Quote Originally Posted by LexyNYC View Post
    BUT, what some dancers seem to forget is that the customers have free will and they aren't obligated to get dances or tip any one that is sitting/chatting with them.

    I don't consider what you did grounds to piss anyone off and it's a far cry from being cut throat. Stripping isn't a team sport and none of us control any of the customers or their money.
    I can't tell you how many times some idiot has whined to me and raged about "their" customer. It's juvenile. The selling floor is the selling floor and unless the guy is paying you and clinging to you in that moment--he's nobody's customer. There is no stripper etiquette. The funniest part is that I find the most devious chicks are the ones citing stripper etiquette when they come out on the bottom. There's no etiquette when they're making deals just when everyone else is.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    You didn't do anything wrong because you already had something arranged, it's not like you sat and started a conversation. When you go over and said "Are you ready" and he says yes then that shows that you already talkede to him. If a dancer is mad, oh well.

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    i agree with lexy nyc. it was not cut throat, you were with him before and she wasnt even saying anything.

    i dont agree with the whole stripper etiquette. its so STUPID snd petty and it takes up so much time and energy when you should be working. you dont owe anybody jack shit. im not saying its cool to blatantly rude either, im just saying let go of the pettiness.

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Just my , but I don't think you did anything wrong either. If I'm trying to sell a dance to a customer and another girl walks up to us when we're in the midst of a conversation, I automatically assume that he was waiting for her. With some of the more popular girls at our club, the customers are usually pretty quick to mention that they're waiting on/looking for someone specific.

    Aside from serving drinks back when I was a SC waitress (I now dance at the same club), I spent a good chunk of my waitressing time hunting down specific dancers for many of the customers. This is probably why I automatically assume that now - no idea if anyone else does that too.

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    I can't tell you how many times some idiot has whined to me and raged about "their" customer. It's juvenile. The selling floor is the selling floor and unless the guy is paying you and clinging to you in that moment--he's nobody's customer. There is no stripper etiquette. The funniest part is that I find the most devious chicks are the ones citing stripper etiquette when they come out on the bottom. There's no etiquette when they're making deals just when everyone else is.
    I disagree, there is stripper etiquette. It just isn't being practised where you work/have worked.

    If you ever worked with me Optimist you would find I stand by my principles (if you ever come to Australia). The standards and principles I practise now are shaping who I am and my character for the future. I want to walk out with my head held high knowing I haven't burned anyone. It is hard not projecting my value system onto other people so sometimes it can be incredibly frustrating/upsetting when I feel taken advantage of by another dancer.

    Club culture is dictated for the most part by how the girls treat each other and a common consensus about how to behave towards each other. At the end of the day every club will have diffferent codes so a black or white answer to "So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?" So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?[/I]isn't realistic.

    At the least I would expect an approaching dancer to ask to join me and other customers unless we had prior understanding.

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    The way you do things, is the way YOU do them. You don't speak for everyone as has been demonstrated on this thread. You should stay true to yourself but there is no stripper etiquette, there's just YOUR standards and practices. The consensus on this thread and the clubs I have worked is that the aforementioned scenario is not cutthroat. You make a deal, you go close it.

    Further, I have dealt with actual 'cutthroat' dancers in Vegas and no one gets fired for cutthroat behavior because there is no rulebook, law, or standard of selling guidelines in clubs. The customer is always right and a grown ass man can decide who he wants to spend on. Girls may find it unpleasant or humiliating to see a customer they want spend on someone else, but getting attached to a customer is a chance girls take at their own peril. Bachelors come in and their friends routinely pick a different girl for him than he does. They pay for the dances so they call the shots and all that dancer can do is graciously step aside, re-group, and work on selling the friends on buying the next dances with her.

    I'm pretty surprised you really think a girl who has a deal with the customer should step aside and twiddle her thumbs and not approach until the next girl has left. If everyone acts in a mature manner it takes only a few seconds to determine if he wants the first girl, the second girl, or both! I've actually seen girls run off for 15 minutes or half an hour and come back. At that point the guy can do what he likes. Some girls expect the second girl should step aside, and some girls expect the first girl should step aside. Neither has to step aside, they both only have to ask the most important person there, the CUSTOMER.

    Would you want to see two guys fighting over who gets to date you? Would you find them presumptuous for deciding between them? Or would it be better for you to pick the one you want to try?
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    you definitely didn't do anything wrong.

    for me, stripper etiquette is me hustling and trying to make as much money as possible, and be nice and polite enough to everyone i work with so that my shit doesn't get stolen or fucked up in the dressing room.

    the end.

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    [QUOTE=Optimist;2401042]The way you do things, is the way YOU do them. You don't speak for everyone as has been demonstrated on this thread. You should stay true to yourself but there is no stripper etiquette, there's just YOUR standards and practices. The consensus on this thread and the clubs I have worked is that the aforementioned scenario is not cutthroat. You make a deal, you go close it. .....QUOTE]

    I did think my response #13 was fairly clearly written with "I" statements and about my experiences. I even acknowledged that "It's hard not to project my value system onto other people.....".

    I wrote that if you came to the country/area/club where I work you/travelling dancers would find that there is a code of etiquette/conduct amongst the dancers (discussed in dancer meetings with club management).

    You also said dancers who cite stripper etiquette are the most devious. (paraphrasing) I responded by saying if you worked with me you would find I stand by my principles (I cite etiguette and stand by it).

    I made a point of saying where I work this wouldn't fly in an earlier post. I went on to suggest asking the girl if you could join or joining if you have a prior arrangement. I think ShannaDiors' #8 suggestion is close to how I would respond in the situation give or take.

    I can only speak for where I work and to an extent the surrounding clubs in my city (and to be honest I think I did).
    I am getting an understanding of how cutt-throat Vegas must be but that doesn't mean dancer etiquette doesn't exist elsewhere. Hence why I said there is not really a black and white answer to the OP's question.

    Sheesh, I didn't make a personal attack and I spoke from my own experience, and even made it clear the area I work in so that could be taken into account. Not much more I can do in these posts to communicate my viewpoint from my own experiences.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    That wasn't a personal attack. I was agreeing with what you shared in your prior post.

    If you ever worked with me Optimist you would find I stand by my principles (if you ever come to Australia). The standards and principles I practise now are shaping who I am and my character for the future. I want to walk out with my head held high knowing I haven't burned anyone. It is hard not projecting my value system onto other people so sometimes it can be incredibly frustrating/upsetting when I feel taken advantage of by another dancer.
    It's very common for people to marvel at how another person can do this or that because people project and expect everyone else shres their values. There's ample evidence that we are not all clones of each other so we don't agree. Take a look at the last paragraph of my response. That example is how it feels from the customer perspective.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Thanks for explaining, I tend to be self critical which often leads to me hearing something that hasn't been said. xx
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    If it bothers you enough for you to question your actions, then an apology doesn't hurt.

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    ^ How do you know I didn't PM something?
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    ^ How do you know I didn't PM something?
    I think maybe that was for the OP, not you Flick.
    I just gotta be me!

    taylor_sweet
    all day today i kept saying this aint burger king or mcdonalds u cant have it ur way till u pay then a guy was all i just want a sample im all this aint baskin robins either

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Sorry! Just been going through some heavy emotional/childhood stuff lately and am thinking defensively (in case nobody picked that up from my posts )

    Are you still here OP? Whats going on?
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Hugs hun! I totally get it!
    I just gotta be me!

    taylor_sweet
    all day today i kept saying this aint burger king or mcdonalds u cant have it ur way till u pay then a guy was all i just want a sample im all this aint baskin robins either

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    If it bothers you enough for you to question your actions, then an apology doesn't hurt.
    Be careful with this. In my club aplogizing for is like putting chum in the water. Girls will use that perceived weakness against you and see you as someone to take advantage of.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: So i think i pissed someone off last nite... was this cut throat?

    i think she's gone.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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