I dont know the name of it but it was on IFC or some similar channel. It was in french, about a college girl who turned to prostitution for extra cash. Initially she just wanted some money so she could afford rent but it destroyed her. Sex took over her life. Something her boyfriend said really stuck with me..."Its as if each dish were worth a part of your body"
I know how that feels -_- To know that everything you buy came from this kind of money. And whats worse is that I initially started camming so I could afford things like lenses and a new bicycle. But when I have money I just want to "live big" and I blow it on expensive meals and such. Not only does that piss me off, not only is it a waste of time, but its made me kinda fat ><
Despite all the flirting that goes into it, I still know at the core of my being that camming is prostitution. Its as if people take bits and pieces of your soul when they pay for you to fuck yourself. Sorry...I can't help these kind of thoughts. I don't understand how you dont have them.
Im not trying to diss camming. I think its great. But its obviously not something I should not be doing when I have such emotional upheaval about it. When I started I seriously thought it was going to be a career thing for me. But no. Im never going to be a top model. Im never going to get the prize. Im just some cheap internet whore who came and went.
I just wanted to share because I have no one to talk about camming things with. About how cheap it makes me feel. I don't even want to mention it to a therapist. Its sortof...embarassing. I wish I had friends that were open to it but I don't :/



Reply With Quote


Seriously LOL what a loser thing to say HAHAHAAHAH

Bookmarks