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Thread: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

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    Default What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Hi All, my hubby promised me he would not interact with camgirls (sorry ) but I found out that he logged 29hrs with this app. Being less than computer savvy, I don't know if this means he has broken his promise or whether it is just a regular computer type thing?

    If you could explain it to me as if I was a small child i may understand, thanks ladies.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    It's a background program for his own webcam. It launches the webcam if it detects he is using his webcam. Idk, he could be cam2cam or something but unless he manually turned it off I am pretty sure it constantly runs in the background. Mine does I think.

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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Ask him?








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    Veteran Member italianstarcamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Youcam mirage stays open in the background on my pc unless I end the process. Anytime youcam opens which is does whenever I log on SM and then I choose the encoder youcam opens. I close it but the youcam mirage still sits in the open processes. Fkin hate it- very annoying

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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    Ask him?
    He's an alcoholic (I have posted very recently on this for support but deleted the thread). Unfortunately lying and deception are part and parcel of alcoholism.

    We have just reached a critical point in our relationship and I would rather have the facts at my disposal.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Senior Member aven's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    I know you don't want you hubby see us cam girls.
    But we DO NOT want your hubby....
    We just want to do the SHOW.
    It is our JOB to get guys off and satisfy them
    WE don't want to build relationship with them IRL.
    MOST camgirl will NEVER meet their cam guys.

    I don't see visiting cam girls as cheating, just like I do not see going to strip club as cheating.... However I do think that is wrong and can be harmful to the relationship if the guy is spend money that is needed to go less where....

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    Senior Member aberrant's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    I don't think it's up to someone outside of the relationship to determine what cheating is.

    If they have defined watching cam girls as something that is not okay, then it's not okay.

    As far as the software, it doesn't necessarily mean camgirls, and 29 hours would just be it running in the background. You could check the software options and see if it has launch on boot enabled, in which case he didn't even open it. If he did open it, he's either snapping webcam pictures, or perhaps going on chatrouletter, or even doing cam2cam. It sucks that you can't just ask him about it, but it seems like you've got bigger fish on your plate.


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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Is it possible its just left open from when you cam??

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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Like the others have said, it is just a program that runs in the background. It COULD mean that he is keeping his cam on to do c2c, but it could just as easily have been left on in the background, or mean that he skyped with a friend or something completely innocent.

    I would be in favor of asking, but I also know that sometimes life isn't that simple. If you REALLY just want to get the info, it would make more sense to check his internet history. That would show you if he was on any cam sites, rather than if he was just using a cam program himself.

    On a less prying level (as I don't really think that it is ever a great idea to be snooping around a partner, even though I will admit to having done it myself in the past), why not get his ok to set up a blocker on camsites? If only you have the password, you would be able to block him from viewing camsites on your computer, and then you wouldn't have to worry about whether he was or not, and wouldn't go through his history/usage.
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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    He's an alcoholic (I have posted very recently on this for support but deleted the thread). Unfortunately lying and deception are part and parcel of alcoholism.

    We have just reached a critical point in our relationship and I would rather have the facts at my disposal.
    I mean this completely lovingly from someone who was with an alcoholic for almost 10 years.
    The problem isn't whether or not he is lying to you and has yet again broken your trust, the problem lays in the fact that you are walking on eggshells and asking us so you don't have to ask him.

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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    How cn you trust a non sober alco/drug user to tell the truth at all? He goes into a program soon. After that, i would of course be asking questions, but that will take a long time- I would prefer to just know- ya know
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    I mean this completely lovingly from someone who was with an alcoholic for almost 10 years.
    The problem isn't whether or not he is lying to you and has yet again broken your trust, the problem lays in the fact that you are walking on eggshells and asking us so you don't have to ask him.
    ^^
    THIS. Put your foot down and ask him.

    Also, is he just looking at/chatting with cam models or is he actually spending money on them? To me, that's two entirely different things. Camming is nearly entirely free to browse and look at (therefore, to me, as harmless or dangerous to a relationship as any other form of porn) but if he's actually paying for cam sessions, how could he hide that from you? If it were me, the first place I'd check was my bank statements. Especially, if I was more concerned with the fact that my spouse couldn't be taken at his word to begin with.
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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    How cn you trust a non sober alco/drug user to tell the truth at all? He goes into a program soon. After that, i would of course be asking questions, but that will take a long time- I would prefer to just know- ya know
    I know that you would prefer to know, but that is the thing. You can't.

    If he is planning on going into a program soon, than get yourself into the habit of asking ASAP. The whole habit of walking on eggshells and NOT asking is a hard one to break. Just as the lying part is hard for an ex-alcoholic to break, whether or not they are now sober.
    Last edited by justanothercamgirl; 10-19-2012 at 05:43 AM. Reason: afterthought

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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    She could just ask him but if he's actively engaged in his addiction, he'd probably just lie about it anyway--at least that's been my experience. I can totally understand the need to find out one way or another, even if that means snooping. To me or at least in my relationship, snooping when there's suspected drug or alcohol use going on is completely justifiable.
    "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." ~ Emma Goldman

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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlakeDahlia View Post
    She could just ask him but if he's actively engaged in his addiction, he'd probably just lie about it anyway--at least that's been my experience. I can totally understand the need to find out one way or another, even if that means snooping. To me or at least in my relationship, snooping when there's suspected drug or alcohol use going on is completely justifiable.
    I totally respect your position.

    My personal position is the opposite though. No trust will ever exist or grow where both people are being untrustworthy.

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    Default Re: What is You Cam Mirage?/ Has my Hubby broken trust?

    I guess I don't mean being untrustworthy about snooping. I'm completely upfront about going through his things if I think he's drinking. But I agree it's not really healthy. Having to worry about what your partner is doing and whether or not he's fucking up every time he's out of your sight is not a good thing. It will drive you crazy. But I also understand that if an addict is actively using, they can't be trusted. No trust will grow until they're sober again.

    I think there's a difference though between being a jealous girlfriend, scouring your s.o.'s facebook every few days to see if he said anything remotely flirty to anyone with a vagina and looking through discarded receipts for liquor purchases. If I couldn't trust my bf/husband not to be hooking up with other people than I shouldn't be with him. But when someone is using, something inside them changes and they cease to be the person you once loved. It doesn't mean that I can't trust him, it means I can't trust him when he's using.

    Idk, I totally understand what you're saying. And under most circumstances I would totally agree. Communication is the single most important aspect of a relationship, imo. I don't think it's healthy to live in a relationship where you can't trust your partner but I also think sometimes you just need proof. Addicts are really, really good at making you think that all your suspicions are entirely a product of your own imagination---you're the one who's crazy for even doubting what they're saying. Unfortunately, sometimes even with irrefutable proof they will still maintain that they're innocent and that you're insane for questioning them. It's lose/lose.
    "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." ~ Emma Goldman

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