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Thread: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

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    Default Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    So I always had a fear of getting older (losing my independence, fading looks, etc.) but I just recently got over the vanity part. I think most of us would like stay looking fresh and young but thats just not possible yet...cant stay 25 forever. Now my concern is the independence aspect. I want to be able live by myself and do activities of daily life. The stuff we take for granted, such as brushing our teeth and flossing, taking a shower, exercising, being able to walk, not being so damn fragile and immobile. I always say dying is easy, living is hard. Dying is a way out, no more suffering and set backs. Living is good as long as our quality of life is good. You dont need to be wealthy but you should be healthy, what good is all the money in the world if your health is bad...bad enough to spoil your days and nights. Okay so what I am getting at is it really possible for us to grow old and independent till our final days? Or all we all destined to go to the nursing home where we will be neglected, mistreated, and simply just ignored. This is the Winter that I wanna stay warm in. I am in the Fall and Spring of my life (Im 25) but the years go by quickly and soon I will be an old man. I can deal with the fading looks as mentioned (although men have it easier when it comes to that, heck even some grey hair and wrinkles/fine lines can look distinct and handsome still but with women it can be devastating, I feel your pain though ladies). I eat right (90% of the time) and exercise every day, try to reduce my stress and stay out of the sun. People tend to think I am 2-3 years younger than my actual age so that feels good. But how many old people you know who are still living on their own? Seeing old people at the hospital and in a care home is constant reminder that I need to stay in shape and take care of myself. We only get one body, its a temple and it must be cherished to prosper. Thoughts/input?

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Genetics have a lot to do with it.
    My grandmother is 93 she lives alone, still drives and is mostly healthy. Her mother lived to 104 but needed someone with her but could still eat and use the bathroom.
    My other grandmother died at 84.
    So you don't really know who will do well and who won't. I'm thinking I h
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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Wow! Someone who is more afraid of getting older than I am! Didnt think it was possible! lol Well, I do have to say, and you might find the same thng happen to you... When I was turning 25, I was obsessed with the idea of getting old and dying a decrepit old hag. Like, freaked out hard! But Im 35 now, and the idea of one day not being around anymore does hit me every so often, but the whole decrepit old hag part, not so much. I have the feeling Im going to be a most bouncy, spunky ol lady imaginable to the end

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    So I always had a fear of getting older (losing my independence, fading looks, etc.) but I just recently got over the vanity part. I think most of us would like stay looking fresh and young but thats just not possible yet...cant stay 25 forever. Now my concern is the independence aspect. I want to be able live by myself and do activities of daily life. The stuff we take for granted, such as brushing our teeth and flossing, taking a shower, exercising, being able to walk, not being so damn fragile and immobile. I always say dying is easy, living is hard. Dying is a way out, no more suffering and set backs. Living is good as long as our quality of life is good.
    Theres no reason to think, or assume that youre going to suffer in your old age. Its not a requirement or something that everyone must go through. Some people are predisposed to all sorts of medical problems, or dont take very good care of themselves, and that contributes to the quality of life as they get older. Im really fortunate in that my grandmother is in her mid-90's, and the only thing she cant do is drive, but she still lives in her house on her own, gardens, cooks, goes to church, has a wicked sense of humour and tons of energy. Also, few people in my family have health problems...I have good genes for sure which helps with my fear levels, but still...the more active you are and the more full your life is, the better it will be.

    I doubt my grandma would be the way she is now if all she did was sit around doing nothing. A couple years ago, she fell and broke her knee...everyone figured that was it she was going to be in a wheelchair the rest of her life.. She was like, screw that! And a lil over a year later she was on the move again doing everything she did before, granted now she needs a cane, but still. That woman never sits still! Youre right, living is good as long as the quality of our life is good...choose the quality you want and dont let anything stop you.

    You dont need to be wealthy but you should be healthy, what good is all the money in the world if your health is bad...bad enough to spoil your days and nights. Okay so what I am getting at is it really possible for us to grow old and independent till our final days? Or all we all destined to go to the nursing home where we will be neglected, mistreated, and simply just ignored.
    Depends on how you treat your kids Mine threatens to stick me in Shady Pines all the time LoL but has told me that Ive always taken good care of her, and she would never let me end up in a nursing home. But even so, not *everyone* ends up in a nursing home. A lot of people live on their own til the end...neverminding that not everyone can even afford to live in a nursing home, those things are not cheap.

    This is the Winter that I wanna stay warm in. I am in the Fall and Spring of my life (Im 25) but the years go by quickly and soon I will be an old man. I can deal with the fading looks as mentioned (although men have it easier when it comes to that, heck even some grey hair and wrinkles/fine lines can look distinct and handsome still but with women it can be devastating, I feel your pain though ladies).

    Thank you so much..you just made my day. Actually though, there are guys who look like crap as they age, and women for whom it seems like time stands still. Its all in your genes....look at your dad/grandfather to see what you have ahead of you...
    I eat right (90% of the time) and exercise every day, try to reduce my stress and stay out of the sun. People tend to think I am 2-3 years younger than my actual age so that feels good. But how many old people you know who are still living on their own? Seeing old people at the hospital and in a care home is constant reminder that I need to stay in shape and take care of myself. We only get one body, its a temple and it must be cherished to prosper. Thoughts/input?
    Thank goodness I sold my soul to the devil in exchange for eternal youth and beauty, else your post would really have depressed the shit out of me
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    Veteran Member UrbanOzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Mid age crisis at 25? Wow.

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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    When I think of being old and incapacitated I think of Betty White. She's is 90 and still working. I have a 100 year old great aunt who only recently moved to a rest home and only because she is unable to walk far. Otherwise every thing else works on her and she outlived her 9 younger brothers and sisters, including my grandma (her sister), her son and a couple of grand kids. My grandparents on my mom's side were very healthy and young looking until about 3 years ago and my grandmother passed last year at 85 while my 90 year old grandpa is still living (though unfortunately has Alzheimers and it is getting worse).

    Btw men also worry about fading looks too and not all men look handsome as they age, many are ugly just like many older women get ugly.

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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    I can deal with the fading looks as mentioned (although men have it easier when it comes to that, heck even some grey hair and wrinkles/fine lines can look distinct and handsome still but with women it can be devastating, I feel your pain though ladies).
    I'm not worried about that. I don't live my life to satisfy shallow pricks. I'm not one to stress about aging. It's part of life, so is dying. Learn to accept it. Just be healthy.

    If a woman is pretty, she is pretty in all stages of life. If you ever get married, what are you going to do when your wife starts to age?

    FYI...When couples marry, their TRUE GENUINE love for each other doesn't see physical flaws.

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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Quote Originally Posted by UrbanOzz View Post
    Mid age crisis at 25? Wow.
    Exactly what I was thinking. I didn't even figure out what I really wanted in this life until I hit my early 30s and my best dating years were 30-35.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    I'm not worried about that. I don't live my life to satisfy shallow pricks. I'm not one to stress about aging. It's part of life, so is dying. Learn to accept it. Just be healthy.

    If a woman is pretty, she is pretty in all stages of life. If you ever get married, what are you going to do when your wife starts to age?

    FYI...When couples marry, their TRUE GENUINE love for each other doesn't see physical flaws.
    Men are clearly at an advantage on the aging front, but IMHO a woman who gives a man the best years of her life and has his children should never have to worry about being "traded in for a younger model." Sadly though, there are too many guys out there, and most particularly those who have strong finances, who make the wrong decisions as their wives start to age.

    Anyway, just my

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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Are you fucking serious? 25? Oi!

    Eat right, exercise, don't do anything stupid that might cause you to be permanently disabled and save your money. Save as much of it as you can. If you haven't started an IRA already start one TODAY. Bottom line, you can have your health but, as you age, if you don't have money you will not have your independence. If you do all of the right things you might live to be a hundred...or you might get cancer and die before you are thirty. You can't control everything that happens to you but one inescapable fact is that, bottom line, you have to be able to PAY for your independence.
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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Exactly what I was thinking. I didn't even figure out what I really wanted in this life until I hit my early 30s and my best dating years were 30-35.



    Men are clearly at an advantage on the aging front, but IMHO a woman who gives a man the best years of her life and has his children should never have to worry about being "traded in for a younger model." Sadly though, there are too many guys out there, and most particularly those who have strong finances, who make the wrong decisions as their wives start to age.

    Anyway, just my
    It wasn't real and conditional.

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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Men are clearly at an advantage on the aging front, but IMHO a woman who gives a man the best years of her life and has his children should never have to worry about being "traded in for a younger model." Sadly though, there are too many guys out there, and most particularly those who have strong finances, who make the wrong decisions as their wives start to age. Anyway, just my
    I think though this is the case in the situations where an attractive woman married a man for his money. At least that has been my experience because most of the people in my family from my parents to my grandparents married til death do us part. My parents are still alive but have been married 44 years and are still happy and stood by each other through thick and thin and all of that.

    One thing I will say though as an older woman is that while there are many men my age who want younger, pretty women there are also a lot of decent men who just want a relationship. The flipside though is these guys often aren't the top of the line when it comes to looks or finances or both so there can be settling. I met several months ago the most wonderful guy who fits what I desire in a mate in terms of values, morals etc. He's even a business owner (owns a store)and an all around good guy. However I would have overlooked him years ago because he's very short (shorter than me)and not the cutest guy. The reason he is still single? he's very shy, and very insecure. So yes there are decent men out there who will judge on looks but sometimes you need to scratch below the surface to find someone special. Btw, before anyone thinks I want him because I am desperate, this isn't the case. I just seem to feel like I belong with him for some reason and many mutual friends think so as well. Even many of our mannerisms are alike.

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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Holy f n shit! Really 25?...I cant bring myself to type anymore on this post..This is ridiculous...

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    Default Re: Growing old and staying independant, is it near impossible?

    Yes, I am serious but day by day its getting easier to come to accept that this is part of life.

    Everyone is different, there are many factors that shape our perception, our environment and upbringing, experiences, beliefs, outlook, etc.

    After hanging out with some good looking 40 year olds that are full of life and successful, I realize now that its how you roll with the punches.

    Aging is inevitable (for now) and so the best one can do is take care of themselves in mind, body, and soul.

    As someone suggested, I put money aside for the cold winter/rainy day should I need it.

    I'm a simple man so all I need in life to be happy is my health, a decent place to live, a nice car or two....make it two, good friends (quality over quantity), etc.

    I never cared to party and bullsh!t (no drinks and smokes for me).

    My stress has gone down tremendously and the fact that people at my college mistake me for being 20/21...it feels good.

    Looks isnt everything, money isnt everything...but id be lying if I said it wasnt a priority for me.

    Bottom line though is the good health we take for granted.
    Last edited by BlackSheEp3; 10-23-2012 at 09:32 PM.

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