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Thread: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

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    Duh When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    I had a newbie client from Europe book a date with me about a month ago and we finally met just a few short days ago.

    I didn't know what to expect naturally but when he opened the hotel door, my mind was blown and I forgot my persona, my name...EVERYTHING.

    I became the worlds most awkward duck in short.

    He was so handome, my type of handsome, Perfect in every way. He had a full sleeve tattoo depicting scenes of one of my all time favorite childhood stories and I was head over heels more so..

    Would you believe I talked about such stupidness like how I only saw one guy a week? He didnt even ask me, I just said stupidness.......

    I eventually told him how handome I thought he was and how head over heels I was and we both had a good laugh that led to so much more.....

    Sex in the shower, Sex by the window balcony thingy (he had a REALLY Upscale hotel), Sex on the bed...It was so good and he seemed so delighted and like he couldn't get enough.

    He had paid for 2 hours but told me before hand that he had to cut it short (yet he gave me a MASSIVE tip), but when we finished I couldnt help my self, he said he had a dinner to go to but I tempted him over and over again at every turn. We took another shower and bathed each other ,I gave him another BJ, I had him dress me (well he started it), another bj......I was in heaven....

    He said he wanted to see me again...We made temporary plans for the day after.

    I thought I was used to this, some clients asking to see me again. Knowing what the result might be....

    I waited by my phone........Actually sat on my bed with my phone when I got home and waited. I wrote him a quick email thanking him for an beautiful time and he said that he'd get back to me with our next date.

    But I still waited by my phone for him after that.

    I was upset with every email and call that wasnt him.

    I cried at one point and went through the list of everything I did wrong. I starting hating on how I looked (even though he told me over and over again how hot he found me), I was mad that I didnt get a chance to REALLY lay it on him (started feeling like what I did wasnt enough) I was point blank STRUNG.

    (cue T-Pain)

    The day we were suposed to meet again came and passed with no contact and I went through a dark moment. I siphoned off 1K and change from the money he gave me and did some expensive (but troublesome) retail therapy. I bought everything as if I was buying it for another date with him. Even though I had originally wanted the money to invest more heavily in ads.

    Then I let it go and got a grip. I returned most of the things the next day and stored my money properly and soberly.

    I don't know why I was so over come like that. But with God as my witness I wish with all my heart that we had met differently. When I got over myself in the beginning the conversation we had was on Epic proportions (which is why it led to so much more....lol)

    I've changed my fantasy hat for my Reality hat and accept now that he might never contact me again and that what we had for such a short time was unique.

    Have any of you ever had an experience like this? Getting a client you wish you had met differently because you saw so much potential?

    I always felt it was a bad idea to date a client but after this moment my stance isnt so steady.

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    Featured Member strippername's Avatar
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    Default Re: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    Do not do that again! You need to feel a bit goofy for that. I would be a little bit embarrassed. The "sexy time" part was you doing your job. Sometimes it actually feels good.

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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    Even if you met him outside of this job,theres no guarantee that he feels the same connection with you. He called you because he wanted to have a good time, you provided him that, and now he can move on with his life, and of course you with yours. Thats not to say he didnt have a great time with you, or even that at some point he will want to see you again, but you guys didnt meet off Match.com...he didnt call you because he was looking for a relationship. Sounds to me like he was a dream client, one of those that help us love our *job* since thats what this is...a job not a social call or ruse to look for love.

    Also, you saw him one time...not several times over the course of months to develop strong feelings and be someone to cry over...it was one date. It really sounds to me that you need to do some self-reflection...you are getting *way* too emotionally involved. It just really seems to me that theres some sort of void going on, that you hoped this guy would fill for you. Be really very careful....

    I mean, def I have looked forward to seeing a date again and disappointed if it doesnt work out, but Im def not broken up over it or emotionally hurt over it. Thats a dangerous line, and you are making it too easy for a guy to be able to take advantage of you. Guys who sense that a girl is really into them like that can and will use that to get free sex out of her until he gets bored and then simply drops her. Id hate to see that happen to you.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    Lol well that's not a totally bad problem to have...at least a repulsive
    guy didn't walk through your door!! But I know what you mean...I've only been attracted to one of the guys I've seen while doing this out of...well I won't go there lol. But honestly I'm pretty sure he was married and since 95% of the guys
    in this business are cheating on their wives, they're really not the type
    of person I would want to date anyway. That's just me though.

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    Featured Member dixievista's Avatar
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    Default Re: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    Damn girl that's called love at first sight! Just because he didn't feel it doesn't negate your feeling - just keep it in check and thank god the things you bought were technically for work!!!

    I'm a total romantic though, and met my boo as a client first - and just got a massive crush on a client that I actually first met IRL and then he put two and two together and booked me - all that to say, those feelings are GOOD and show that you have heart and haven't gone hard like so many women in this industry eventually do. Enjoy those damn butterflies and the little heartache - it means you're alive!!

    So if you want to be with me
    With these things there’s no telling
    We just have to wait and see
    But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
    Than waiting to win the lottery
    Besides maybe this time is different
    I mean I really think you like me

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    Default Re: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    I dont think its a matter of us being cold and hardened...just that one has to be able to compartmentalize.

    Besides that...yeah, I do think its human to develop some sort of feelings if you spend time with someone you click with,

    BUT I also think that its dangerous if after one meeting, a guy has you second guessing if you were good enough, pretty enough, and he has you reduced to tears when he doesnt call. I dont think those kinds of feelings are good on any level, and not a feeling anyone should look at as something to enjoy. Its painful and damaging... and romatisizing dates like that what will cause someone to become cold and hardened, because yeah, we're human and can only take so much rejection.

    And the thing is...he didnt even reject her, he was a dream date, but her romaticising the date and looking at him like a bf, is what ruined what should have been a great experience. Now Im not at all saying thta things cant happen, or that a client can be more...anything is possible. But if a guy makes you cry, esp without even realizing, and only after one date, that to me is more infatuation than true love at first sight. And that is the thing that Im addressing here... cause you know, I dont think its a beautiful thing to hear someone say how hurt they were by a meeting with a client.

    I would rather see someone be able to enjoy what they do and enjoy the clients they meet, like those "this is why I love my job" moment, not a "maybe Im not good enough" moment. Thats the thing that sucked for me to read...I dont know Amylatice, but Im pretty darned sure thats not true. I dont think anyone should be encouraged to embrace feeling that way.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    I obviously left a lot of things unsaid in regards to me personally and I'm going to leave it like that for now but it really was indeed a "love at first sight" moment that kinda got carried away, like DixieVista said. I got over it fairly quickly and did move on but I like to think on the possibilities that could have occurred. Before I starting escorting I had a very, very bad experience with a man that took a lot of money, meds, and therapy to get over. But Because of that I have the "tools" to personally deal with little things like this (one being SW,lol).

    Looking back now, even though it was a bit upsetting at the time, I apriciate getting the experience. It was a rush and gave fodder to my imagination. I never thought that I'd feel that way again, but now that I've proved myself wrong, I feel like its made me better. I can think of him with a big smile on my face. I used that Experence to give an edge to the other clients I meet. Also it was a matter of getting used to having ballance all the time and then having some thing disrupt it. For that moment it took a little while to recognize what happened and because I'm your classic romantic crybaby, I went through the whole emotional range and back before I went, "uh, wtf am I doing?"

    I thank all of you for your input, in the end it was a dream date and one that helped me feel more secure, solid (not sure of a proper word) about my choices/feelings. ( it's okay to feel so long as you know what to do with them)

    Not to mention he got me thinking I'm not charging enough, my 2 hour rate is 800, and he gave me 2K no questions, no nothing. Seeing that much money stuffed into an envelope flipped my crazy switch to on. Lol

    Edit: I should mention that I like laughing at and questioning myself a lot. I do things, question why and what if then laugh at the answers. This is just my way of gaining personal growth. :-)

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    Default Re: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    Oh boy. 24 hours of being head-over-heels in love. It feels good, and sometimes it's needed-- especially in our line of work. That's my opinion anyway. I don't know...ever since I started escorting, my "real" love life has become non-existant (not complaining at all), but if I meet a client I have a GREAT time with, that high I get off feeling smitten is refreshing-- makes me feel human. Do NOT feel embarrassed or get down on yourself over it. It seems like you pulled yourself together and came back to reality, and that's fine. Back to reality.

    I have a kind of major crush on one of my clients, but he's married, so I know nothing would ever come of it. I just enjoy the moment for what it is. I get super stoked when he books me, and sometimes I'll spend extra time picking out my lingerie. It's actually great because I miss that feeling of excitement in my "real" life.

    Is he from Europe or just visiting from Europe? Hopefully it's the later so you can keep that in mind to help you get over it.

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    Default Re: When you wish you met a client differently. (Rant+Question)

    Yeah, I think we all feel something real every now and then. Next time just try to keep in mind that he's paying to spend time with you for a reason. He probably already has a woman in his life that he spends time with regularly, or else he doesn't want that. His time with you was for variety, a unique experience, or an escape. I would be willing to bet that he took everything you said to him as just part of your job, and the fact that it was so genuine probably just made him think you are really good at your job. It's too bad you had such a disappointment, but it's a good lesson. The real you isn't spending time with your clients, your alter ego is. Leave your real emotions at home, and put on your "nothing can affect me" suit. It's best if your alter ego can be unflappably pleasant, and happy, always accessible, but never really available. Remember that almost everything the client says is probably a line, so if you're having a great time make the most of it, enjoy each moment to the fullest like it's the last time it'll ever happen because it probably will be. I don't want to sound like a naysayer, I just think reveling in the moment is important to this job. Expectations will probably lead to disappointment.
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