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Thread: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Thumbs down I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Ahhh ladies I am so frustrated. I have shot girl/girl adult work for almost 3 yrs now. Used to dance for my boyfriend's private company & gave that up because dancing was messing us up - also made a sort of deal. If I shot adult, I would stop dancing. Well I took a small break from shooting this summer to change agencies and was scheduled to go to LA in August and shoot like 7 scenes. For some reason I overreacted to not really wanting to do that particular trip and exclaimed I was done shooting! Well, that was a mistake. I made good $$ shooting when I could knock out several scenes then go home and now I'm financially hurting and I also miss shooting a bit. I've told him I wanted to start shooting again with select companies but he's throwing such a fit and making it impossible.

    Here's his reasons: I answer phones for his company 7 days a week and he pays me a salary. If I get shoots, he has a back up person who could answer phones but they really suck so I am "letting him down" and apparently not grateful for the job he gave me to help me stay afloat. When I would go shoot, I would often downplay how it went and talk about how long it took or the other girl was rude - in my mind to make him feel better, since I figured no one wants their gf bouncing home from a porn shoot exclaiming how wonderful it was and that she didn't miss you at all! Now he thinks all shoots are worse than they were; that I have to shoot with gross girls all the time or something. He thinks I'm wasting my time shooting for a paycheck when I could make my own member's site & (in his mind) make way more $$. That confuses me b/c he still thinks I should do G/G on my site ... but not shoot it for other companies?! I am willing to do a member's site but as just a G/G performer, I'm sure it's beneficial to still shoot occasionally to keep my name relevant. I'm talking about shooting with Wicked, Penthouse, Danni, Twistys - reputable companies.

    We were scheduled to go to LA a few weeks ago & meet my new agent to talk about me shooting again - got up early, got ready, and when he came out of the bathroom from showering he sobbing. I couldn't stand to see him hurting over me shooting so I called the trip off. He just confuses me b/c he used to tell me how proud he was of me & my career and now he hates it and sobs over it. He's always had a small issue with me sleeping with girls for my scenes, but I'm not bi - I'm just a good actress.

    UGH can anyone give me advice? I am feeling guilty for wanting to shoot but resentful of him b/c now I have to live off a much smaller salary and rely on camming, which I really do not enjoy. I love him and don't want to hurt him but our whole livelihood already centers around him owning a stripper business ... we aren't square by any means ... I just want to shoot until I feel like I've accomplished my goals (chunk of $ in savings, Penthouse Pet, etc).
    Last edited by astarisborn; 10-30-2012 at 11:28 AM.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    @dancingdiva --- Hello ... did you read my post? I only shirt GIRL-GIRL PORN. I definitely don't suck anyone's dick but HIS.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    [QUOTE=Kisca;2415952]If he had trouble with you dancing before, he sure wont agree with you going to a porn gig now in the relationship. Why what his issue with you stopping dancing and porn, why is he just ok with camming?

    QUOTE]

    It's not that I'm trying to go back to shooting when it was never discussed. He met me as a dancer (and he as a strip company owner), I danced for 4 yrs, it became a problem, I quit.

    I began shooting GIRL/GIRL porn (capitalized so people don't get confused here) and he was fine with it. Proud of me, even. Slowly, it became a problem. I halfheartedly quit and now I feel like he's forcing me to when I don't feel done.

    Porn doesn't make me happier than my relationship but having a nice income does make me happy. I went from dancing to working for him, where he pays me in a week what I used to make in an hour or a night as a dancer depending on how I did. That's a huge discrepancy. With porn, I make in one day what I do in 2-3 weeks working for him. I would still work for him; shooting only takes a few days each month.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Does anyone have advice for how to talk to him about wanting to shoot again but doing it in a caring way?

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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    I feel like you should post this in camming connection. A lot of girls there deal with this type of stuff ALL THE TIME. However, a lot of the girls over there don't really venture outside of camming connection. Hope that helps.

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    Senior Member bunny8558's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    I dated a guy after I left my ex-husband who made me stop modeling, wouldn't let me work in a nightclub/bar, and made me take down all my pictures (that I spent quite a bit of time, money, and effort doing). We broke up four months later since I had "changed" since we go together-- because he made me change everything I did and was while I was with him!!! I was so unhappy the months I was with him and just now have really started modeling again in the past year and a half. I love taking pictures, and it's great side money.
    Fact is, many guys have sick fantasies of finding a hot "slut" (as my ex described me) and "fixing/saving" her. These Captain Save-a-ho's seem nice at first by getting you alternate work, paying bills, giving support, etc. After dating you for a little while, they start placing requirements, quid-pro-quos, and restrictions on you; if you have a problem with this, they throw everything they've ever done for you in your face. This is a form of manipulation via psychological abuse.
    I hope this isn't your guy, but it sounds like he might be. Any time a guy is cool with something at the beginning of a relationship then changes his mind later, be wary. If dancing/porn/camming makes you happy, then he should've understood that in the beginning. You haven't changed- he has.
    Tell him that his attitude towards you has changed, that what you liked to do is what you still like to do, that your desires are part of YOU, and that he needs to stop sobbing like a baby to manipulate you emotionally. (Guys who do this are usually Momma's boys/brats whose parents allowed them to do this as children to get what they want.) Tell him you are aware of his attitude being so changed and ask him if he's the great guy you started dating who was cool with who you are OR if he's the kind of guy who wants to make you into the woman he wants. Remember, if he brings up getting you a job, remind him you wouldn't have needed that job if he hadn't pressured you to quit other jobs he didn't like in the first place. Refresh his memory as to your self-sufficiency.
    I know you want to tell him these things in a nice way, but don't. You have to be frank with guys like this. If he tries to throw a fit and cry like a child, point that out, too. I have a feeling that whatever way you confront him about this, he's going to give you an ultimatum: it's his way or the highway.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Bunny8558, you sooo hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. He has thrown things in my face when we've fought, which on one Hans I understand because I say things in anger I shouldn't have too, but then when I'm wary to accept his "help" he gets mad and wonders why.

    And yes, I think about exactly why I need the job he gave me & it makes me resentful when I feel like I SHOULD be grateful.

    If I tell him I want to shoot again & proceed tO do it, I know he will make life miserable, at least for a while. I wonder if it's even worth the fighting or the awkwardness between us. I mean, we live together do there's no escaping it. By the same token, I always wanted him to come along on my work trips & never went out with other talent afterwards for dinner or to hang out or anything. I was strictly about business. And he used to love to go shopping at the adult stores & buy my movies or magazines ... Now its like a 360 flip in attitude. Do you think it's selfish of me to want to shoot even if it temporarily hurts my relationship?

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Bunny8558, you sooo hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. He has thrown things in my face when we've fought, which on one Hans I understand because I say things in anger I shouldn't have too, but then when I'm wary to accept his "help" he gets mad and wonders why.

    And yes, I think about exactly why I need the job he gave me & it makes me resentful when I feel like I SHOULD be grateful.

    If I tell him I want to shoot again & proceed tO do it, I know he will make life miserable, at least for a while. I wonder if it's even worth the fighting or the awkwardness between us. I mean, we live together do there's no escaping it. By the same token, I always wanted him to come along on my work trips & never went out with other talent afterwards for dinner or to hang out or anything. I was strictly about business. And he used to love to go shopping at the adult stores & buy my movies or magazines ... Now its like a 360 flip in attitude. Do you think it's selfish of me to want to shoot even if it temporarily hurts my relationship?

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    Senior Member bunny8558's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    I actually mentioned this thread to my current boyfriend. He said that you only have a certain window as a hot chick to do sex-related work (porn/dance/etc) and you have to decide if that sort of work in that window is worth the relationship. However IMO, if he's been trying to change you and throw things in your face that are a result of him forcing your hand, then to think that this will all stop once you agree to not to do porn or whatever is silly. More likely than not, this is how he always has gotten what he wants.
    It's not selfish to want to do things that you've always wanted to do IF AND ONLY IF you entered into the relationship under the assumption/agreement that it was okay, which it sounds like you did. You probably wouldn't have dated him if he'd put all those requirements on you at the outset, right?
    So you have to decide if you really want to be with this guy or do the stuff you want to do. Trust me, there are plenty of phalli out there-- don't let your time with him mean more than it actually does. I was in an abusive relationship with my ex-husband for nearly five years simply because I didn't think anyone else would want me, that I'd already spent so much time with him, that I was a bad person and deserved his crap... If the person who loves you wants to control you, then they don't love you.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Thank you. Yeah, you definitely have a point. I would never have agreed to
    All this to begin with. How did you come to the conclusion that your Ex was abusive & you wanted to leave? I've been in my relationship for 4 yrs and never expected it to be a long term thing at the outset. It just sort of morphed & I figured because he was already a business owner in the adult industry himself, that he MUST be more open minded than my last bf had been. Wrong lol.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Thank you. Yeah, you definitely have a point. I would never have agreed to
    All this to begin with. How did you come to the conclusion that your Ex was abusive & you wanted to leave? I've been in my relationship for 4 yrs and never expected it to be a long term thing at the outset. It just sort of morphed & I figured because he was already a business owner in the adult industry himself, that he MUST be more open minded than my last bf had been. Wrong lol.

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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    My ex-husband was sneakier in his control than most. He got very physical after marriage and during my pregnancy. That was about 4 years into things. I decided to leave once he got physical with me and my brother at my university while he was holding my daughter. He then left for hours; while he disappeared, I told his mom he'd come up missing and that I was tired of this behavior and to please help me as I couldn't handle it past the end of the school year. She told me that planning to leave him made her mad-- I begged for help and she ended communication with me from that point on (we'd been close).
    I told him that September that if he didn't change by May, I was leaving once the classes for the semester were done and reiterated this typically once a day to him. He continued to hit me, not get food for us, take all my money, and deny ever doing anything wrong. When I left him, he initially denied that I'd ever told him anything, got physical with our one-year-old, tried to "end it" (ahem), and had people follow me.
    I waited too long to leave to be honest. I just tried to give our marriage the time and patience to work.
    In short, if you get signs that you need to go, then go.

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Sobbing? Seriously? You were doing these things when he met you and he is not exactly running a bible study operation himself, yet he now loses his mind when you want to get paid real money for something that doesn't even involve another guy? I really don't get it.

    Sorry, but I think that you are coddling him way too much. This crying shit has got to stop and if he starts whining at you then walk away. If he wants to have a greater say over what you do, then perhaps he should marry you and take on responsibility for your future well being. Otherwise, he can just keep crying it out - preferably when you are not around to hear it.

    And as far as the job is concerned, he has to pay someone to work the phones anyway, so this theory that he has done you some huge favor is crap. This is all about controlling how you make a living. However, since he has no marital or other obligations to you, he could eat up the best years of your life and leave you with nothing but regrets about what you could have done during that time.

    Anyway, just my

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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Sobbing? Seriously? You were doing these things when he met you and he is not exactly running a bible study operation himself, yet he now loses his mind when you want to get paid real money for something that doesn't even involve another guy? I really don't get it.\
    Yup. Sounds like a control freak to me.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Thank you both so, so much. I feel like I coddle him too sometimes to avoid his temper ... & it annoys me that I know I'm playing into his behavior, just like a parent does with a child who
    Throws temper tantrums. I've been wrestling with this in my head all day. I even worked webcam last night & this morning - sincerely tried my best - and although I made $230, it took a LONG time and I hated it. Shooting scenes is actually a lot easier to be impersonal and just act it out, then leave it at the studio & go home $800-$1200 richer.

    I think I'm going to write a concise letter and ask him to read it tomorrow telling him I intend to shoot again. Of I try to have a conversation about it, I'm sure it will end in screaming & years. Like I said, I DO love him but I am NOT the type who can tolerate being controlled ... I would never even agree to being married & having anyone pay all my bills. Consequences of a childhood where I saw just how wrong that can go, I guess. I don't want to break up but I also don't want to throw away 3 years of building my name & raising my rates & expanding my fan base to struggle & squeak by. I mean, he has $50,000 in savings & wants a Bebtley & I want a nice
    Lifestyle too dammit! Lol. I'll let you ladies know how it goes ... Wish me luck, lots of luck!! I'm dreading it.

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Astar, it is clear that you have no interest in being controlled, so it may be time to lay down the law. IMHO you should tell him that if he screams at you, cries or acts out that you will leave. Don't let him get away with that shit anymore. IMHO you also need to let him know that you deserve to earn as much as you can and that how he is acting is not fair and will not be tolerated. And if he cannot handle those conditions and needs to keep trying to control you, then it is probably time for you to find greener pastures.

    Anyway, good luck with all of this.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Thank you, I appreciate the support. If not for your ladies replies I would have no one to speak with about this.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Welp, I bit the bullet & talked with him. No one yelled OR cried so that's a plus. I did get an interesting perspective when I pressed him on why a girl/girl website would be ok but shooting scenes is not: to use his phrase, "it doesn't benefit him". This is because he pushed for me to agree to paying for my website & he would share in the profits. Interestinggg. He also pulled a low card out on me: I got upset a few days ago because I didn't feel like he intended on marrying me at any point (which he talked about a lot last year) and he told me during our convo, "well if you shoot I can never make a commitment to you". That stung, but I told Jim "you haven't made one to me thus far and I'm 25; you're 31 - why should I think you're EVER going to make on?" I also used what some of you said & told him he met me like this, and I'm still the same person he met... I am who I am & I like performing. He's now moping around & ignoring me ... But I'm trying to stay strong & remember not to coddle him or let his pouty games affect me. It's not fun. I hope he let's this go soon.

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    Veteran Member astarisborn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Excuse the typos, I'm writing this from my phone!

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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Well...thats pretty crappy to dangle the "marriage carrot" over your head as a condition.
    That alone would piss me off to be honest. "Ill commit to you as long as you do what i tell you to do"
    Whatev, I would rather be single than spend the rest of my life following orders.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Senior Member bunny8558's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    I'm glad you finally confronted him. Be prepared for three phases of behavior:
    1) He will try to pout his way back in for days. Guilt trips, etc.
    2) After this hasn't worked, he will try to say ruder, nastier things to fight with you. This will probably lead to a split on his part since you are fighting with him. If it doesn't then you are a saint!
    3) After the split/break, he will STILL try to manipulate and control, usually by saying that if you do x or y, he won't get back with you. He may pay for things or treat you to things in order to still hook up with you and keep tabs. Do not allow for this as this can go on for weeks.
    This all might not happen if he wakes up, then again, if he is really about the money and manipulating you, then he's just going to get sneakier until you kick him to the curb.
    Good luck! Stay strong!!!!

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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    I've already reposted the link to this thread once today, but it's still relevant in this situation:

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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Only a few things to say about is this. First, this is is your life not his.. So if you honestly enjoy acting in adult film then by all means do it till it stops being something you enjoy. Likewise life too short to waste on people who can't accept who for who you are. Well that and odds are good a guy like this wants to own / control you not love you. So if it is not this it will be 1000 other things he will try to lord over you.

    So my advice to you is this.. Do what you love, but above all else find someone else because this guy seems like bad news in a big way.

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    Dizzy Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Only a few things to say about is this. First, this is is your life not his.. So if you honestly enjoy acting in adult film then by all means do it till it stops being something you enjoy. Likewise life too short to waste on people who can't accept who for who you are. Well that and odds are good a guy like this wants to own / control you not love you. So if it is not this it will be 1000 other things he will try to lord over you.

    So my advice to you is this.. Do what you love, but above all else find someone else because this guy seems like bad news in a big way.

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want 2 shoot porn again but BF says no go!

    Quote Originally Posted by astarisborn View Post
    Welp, I bit the bullet & talked with him. No one yelled OR cried so that's a plus. I did get an interesting perspective when I pressed him on why a girl/girl website would be ok but shooting scenes is not: to use his phrase, "it doesn't benefit him". This is because he pushed for me to agree to paying for my website & he would share in the profits. Interestinggg.
    Interesting? "Outrageous" is more appropriate IMHO. Is he your boyfriend or your pimp? Seriously, if he loved you then he would be pushing for what is best for you, not what is best for him.

    Quote Originally Posted by astarisborn View Post
    He also pulled a low card out on me: I got upset a few days ago because I didn't feel like he intended on marrying me at any point (which he talked about a lot last year) and he told me during our convo, "well if you shoot I can never make a commitment to you". That stung, but I told Jim "you haven't made one to me thus far and I'm 25; you're 31 - why should I think you're EVER going to make on?"
    This is manipulative bullshit. He's already been getting the milk for free for several years and I'm guessing that he has no intention of ever making that commitment. Now he wants to carve off some free flank steaks too by pushing you to earn for him. If you don't put a stop this this nonsense now, you're going to wake up one day and find yourself without a pot to piss in yet too old to do good paying adult entertainment. I really hope you stop letting him use you.

    Quote Originally Posted by astarisborn View Post
    I also used what some of you said & told him he met me like this, and I'm still the same person he met... I am who I am & I like performing. He's now moping around & ignoring me ... But I'm trying to stay strong & remember not to coddle him or let his pouty games affect me. It's not fun. I hope he let's this go soon.
    This is yet more manipulative bullshit. You may want to consider packing your stuff up and going away for a couple of weeks, perhaps even to shoot. Sorry to sound like this astar, but he's pulling all of this shit on you because you are letting him. He wants control and you are giving it to him. You are going to have to take some control back if you ever want this dynamic to change. When he starts crying or throwing a tantrum, IMHO you should leave the house and, when he is calm, let him know that this is unacceptable. Don't let him continue to put this shit on you. I'm also sensing a little dependency here, which I think that he is intentionally cultivating.

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