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Thread: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

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    Default Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Okay this is a weird one but bear with me. My mom is nearly 49, pretty, very open minded, and broke. She is a massage therapist- not FBSM, I mean legitimate massage that she does in a health spa. The problem is her health is worsening to the point that it's getting increasingly more difficult for her to work. Eventually she won't be able to work in her field at all (she has a long-term degenerative disease). Combine that with a crappy economy and she's complaining how she's not even living paycheck to paycheck these days. As she told me this morning, she's stealing from Peter to give to Paul, and then holding Paul in a stick-up to get her money back. She doesn't do anything illegal. She's mentioned how she's not interested in doing erotic massage, I think the actual contact is too much for her.

    But, she does know what I do for a living and is totally fine with it. I've been telling her she can make clips, even non-nude ones to sell and while she thinks it's awesome that I get paid when guys watch me to burp, she hasn't caught on to the idea for herself. I've told her she should try camming to supplement her income and her reply was "No one wants to see my old ass." I've tried to tell her there's a market for everything but I don't think she believes me. One of her boyfriends suggested jokingly that she could do phone sex. I worked as a PSO my last year of college when I still lived with her so she knows it is legitimate does pay but she says she'll have to do "more research." I think she'd be good at it I guess, I mean, she's my mom so I don't really know but I know she is open-minded. But I don't think she thinks she has what it takes to make money in the adult industry. *I* think she needs to pay her bills and if her vanilla job isn't cutting it she needs to do something to supplement. She's talking about moving to Vegas to do God only knows what. I feel like she is interested in doing what I do, maybe not to rely on but just to make ends meet, but something is holding her back.

    So I guess what I'm asking is, how can I convince my mom to take the leap and start in the adult field? Whether phone sex, camming, non-nude clips- whatever she is comfortable with. Every single time we talk she complains that she is broke and I feel bad because I keep encouraging her to move out here so I can help her out but she wants to do things on her own. I understand, I am the daughter so of course she doesn't want me to take care of her just yet. Ive talked to her about other vanilla things she can do online to supplement her income but her response has been very lackluster; talking about making money in the adult industry is the one thing that actually seems to spark her curiosity. I know her self-confidence is low which I think is the reason she is hesitant, so how do I show her that she really can succeed regardless of her own hang-ups? If I was talking to a friend of my own age I know what I'd say but this is my mom, so... Yeah I know it's awkward and weird but I feel bad because for the past year every single time we talk or email she's complaining about money and I know what she can do to fix her problem?

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I think that all you can do is suggest it, and give her the resources to do her own research.

    Personally, I wouldn't try to push the issue with ANYONE - getting into the adult industry is a serious step, and I don't think that anyone should be pressured into making that decision as an easy way out. I think that it often sparks more curiosity than vanilla jobs simply because of the nature of the work - people are usually pretty fascinated by what we do!! There really is no way to know if your mom is honestly just self-conscious or under the impression that this is just a young girls game, or whether she really wouldn't feel comfortable doing it. It's possible that she really doesn't want to, but doesn't know how to tell you that without sounding judgmental about your choices.

    I commend you for wanting to help take care of your mom, but maybe you can do that without her needing to come live with you? Could you offer to send her some money to help out, or pay some bills for her? Or buy her one of those weekly fruit & veg boxes (with added groceries) as a treat (but also to make sure she doesn't have to spend money on food...).
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    This is going to sound like a weird suggestion, but, I feel like a lot of what is holding her back is she thinks there's no market for her, so maybe you could go on SM or Cams.com and find an older model to show your mom, to kind of prove that they're out their and they make money.

    Of course don't pressure her into it (duh) but if it sounds like she has an interest but is concerned that she wouldn't make any money that might calm her fears!

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I just did a search on SM for women ages 41-50 and got 18 pages of results. While I totally agree that you shouldn't pressure her, I think she'd be amazed at how many other women her age are doing this and how many guys there are who want to see them.
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I feel you on this one. My mom has back problems and isn't able to do her normal job. I tried to explain to her about doing clips, and she doesn't think anyone would watch. The milf niche is a huge one, though. My mom also wants to try phone sex. Her main problem is that she isn't very computer savvy so I would have to hold her hand through it. I'm willing to do it, but she thinks it's 'too much effort and might not pay'. Just do your best to encourage and help her along the way if she thinks this is right for her. I love that there are cool moms like this




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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I'm almost 53 . I love camming and I do real well! There is no age limit on this job. Personality is huge and I take care of myself to look my best. It shocked me when they actually chose me twice for TV shows. I can't work a whole lot because of back problems but as long as I stick to my limits, it's a great way to make money. I'm having the time of my life too .
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I agree, I totally do NOT want to push her into it, nor would I even suggest it had she not given me indications that she is interested. Every time we talk, in addition to telling me about how her finances are screwed up, she's always talking about men and how she needs to find a sugar daddy, and suggested I do the same. Which does not imply that she should work in the adult industry like I do, it just indicates to me that she has no problem separating business from "pleasure" and that's the main skill she would need, everything else she can learn. And when I laugh about some of the random clips I get paid for she's like damn, I could do that. Okay, so do it, try it and see if you like it? My mom has even worse self esteem issues than I do and as much as I want to point out all of the successful women who look like her/are in her age range I just think it's be weird to be like, "Hey mom, look at this lady get naked and see if you want to try it!" Hah! Even though my mother *did* get a tattoo of a naked lady with me when we got tattooed together for mother's day a few years back, that just feels like a boundary I can't cross. Trust me, my mom tells me all the time about the aspects of my life she doesn't approve of, and camming/content is not one of them. She genuinely believes that as long as you're not hurting anyone or doing anything illegal, you do what you need to do to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. I've tried asking her to let me send her money via paypal or western union but she refuses. I think the gift basket thing is a good idea but she is behind on her rent and I know she can eat for free/cheap at her job so she needs cash (I'll still try the food thing, though, as a gift).

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Why not point her toward some sugardaddy sites? They do exist, and I have got some decent stuff from there...

    If you aren't comfortable with actually sitting down with her and looking at older women on cam (I can understand that), could you e-mail her some links, saying "look at these girls! You look WAY better than that - see, you could do this!". Or send her an e-mail with links to the best cam/PSO/etc sites for her to look at?

    Also - one little clarification, I think I may have been unclear. I wasn't suggesting that she disapproves of what you do at all (and you are very lucky that she is so open and happy for you!!) but that she isn't sure how to say that she doesn't want to do it without sounding disapproving...does that make sense? It's like when we bitch about custys that bug us to sleep with them - we are always so careful to say that it's not that we have an issue with escorting, it's just that we don't do that. I know that a lot of the time I worry about offending someone when they are trying to convince me that it would be great for me to do what they are doing - if I say I don't want to do that, some people can take it as a judgement, rather than just me saying "that's great for you, but it's not for me".

    Anyway - if she genuinely seems interested in doing it - that whole tangent is kind of unnecessary, but I just wanted to be clear about what I was trying to say, that I wasn't suggesting that she secretly judges what you do!!
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I know how you feel. My whole family has been in porn before because of me. My mom and my oldest sister were both broke so I hooked them up and showed them what to do. They don't do it anymore because they are lazy....lol.. my youngest sister is still actively online just like me.

    I think you need to show her proof that she can make money. Show her your check stubs, show her other milfs that make bank. Once she sees and believes, she will do it.

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    You are right, I am SOOOO lucky that my mom is so open to the knowledge that I cam for a living, and I can vent to her when it's slow or people are annoying and I can be upfront. Even though we don't really get into the particulars it is amazing to be able to say, "Gosh mom, these guys are such idiots sometimes but I have gotten some great custom requests and I'm so happy about that," and she doesn't say anything but, "That's awesome!" My mom is way cooler than me

    I should totally point her in the direction of a sugar site. Does anyone know of any good ones? Feel free to PM me if you do! My mom tells me that she is on all of these online dating sites trying to find a rich man- with a wealthy son for me, lmfao!- so I am really confident that she'd be up for it, and if it can help her get through the lean times and she meets a gentleman with a nice personality then why not? The only two sugar daddy sites I know of both sound like the guys are looking for escorts rather than a long term relationship of sorts, at least that was my experience on the one site I tried, and I know my mom won't be down for that. She just wants to marry a rich old man and get herself written into his will
    Last edited by CourtneyRaine; 10-31-2012 at 02:14 PM. Reason: deleted website names

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I used myrichsugardaddy.com and met a few guys through there - never really got very far with it for a couple reasons:

    1. There were very few near me - it was mostly US based, so I met guys in NYC when I was there
    2. I met my bf right after I got into it, and that changed everything!

    Tell her to go for it!! If I was single, I would be searching for sugar daddies all the time...
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I guess I'm the only one that cringed when I read the title of this thread. I would love to say "Fuck yeah my mom is also a camgirl and knows what I do na na na boo boo" but .... I'm glad my mom has no clue what I do and would never get into this line of work. I would be super mortified if I saw my mom on streamate LOL. Kudos to you.

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    ^^^ You don't need to answer if it is too personal...but why is it that you would be so horrified if your mom worked in the sex industry?

    It just seems like a double standard - it is ok for you to do it, but terrible for her to do it. Or is it just that you don't want to think of your mom as a sexual being at all? Would you be as bothered if your sister was in the industry?

    I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just really interested in the thinking behind your statement...
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    My daughter is 26 and she knows what I do. She's always telling me how proud she is that I have enough confidence to do this. The other day she told me "Mom, I can see why all those guys pay you". To me, that was the ultimate compliment. She would love to try it, except she's in a very conservative field and she can't take the risk.
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    ^^^ You don't need to answer if it is too personal...but why is it that you would be so horrified if your mom worked in the sex industry?

    It just seems like a double standard - it is ok for you to do it, but terrible for her to do it. Or is it just that you don't want to think of your mom as a sexual being at all? Would you be as bothered if your sister was in the industry?

    I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just really interested in the thinking behind your statement...
    Because I do not want to think of my mom fucking herself on cam or fucking anyone on cam for that matter. JUST like I'm sure she does not want to see me fucking myself on cam WHICH is why I don't tell her or anyone in my family that I am in the adult industry (This ONTOP of being Nigerian). I am not trying to be rude but I don't understand why you don't understand that? Do you really believe everyone should think like you do? No, It's not a double standard. Yes I wouldn't give a fuck if my sister was camming/doing porn or whatever else... that's her. My mother? No. She is my mom and no one wants to think of their mom like that (at least I do not). I guess it's a good thing she married rich. As I said, I am Nigerian - we do not do things the way Americans do.

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    ^^^ You don't need to answer if it is too personal...but why is it that you would be so horrified if your mom worked in the sex industry?

    It just seems like a double standard - it is ok for you to do it, but terrible for her to do it. Or is it just that you don't want to think of your mom as a sexual being at all? Would you be as bothered if your sister was in the industry?

    I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just really interested in the thinking behind your statement...
    I get where you're coming from but I actually don't think it's a double standard. There are some things I just don't want to think about or see my mom doing. Not because it's good or bad, there's just some of images I don't want to have of my mother or my father. If it were my sister, cousin, adult nieces or any other female in life, cool. But my mom, no thanks. I'll pass on that. It's kind of like I know my mom has sex but I don't want that image in my mind. I also don't want the image of my dad jacking off to porn in my head either. I'm sure he's done it. I accept it. Do I want to see or even imagine it? Absolutely not!!!

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Ava, Well said. My point exactly.

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    Senior Member MotherTang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    But I think you'd rather see your mom as a financially stable cam girl than have to worry about if she has enough money to buy food this month. And that's the truth.

    The girls who seem against it are the ones who have probably never seen their mother unable to afford gas $$$ to get to a free clinic, or those who have never seen their mother try to live off a loaf of bread for a week. Things like that. But sadly, that's the reality for a lot of adults out there- especially older ones who are too young to retire but too old for an employer to hire them over someone younger with more experience & more connections.

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    I personally would hate for my mom to to deal with the kinds of insults that are hurled at us when we're on cam. I mean maybe pso would be cool but just thinking about guys calling my mom ugly or fat or whatever makes me wanna crawl under a blanket and die. Does she have to necessarily do adult work? Have you considered helping her get a non sex related work at home type job? There's a forum I frequent that has some legitimate ones.
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    As I said, I am Nigerian - we do not do things the way Americans do.
    Sure sounds like you are doing things "the way Americans do" to me.
    You're in the industry yourself, aren't you? I don't think it's is an American vs. anyone else type thing.

    "We don't do things the way Americans do."

    Those awful, awful, awful AMERICANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    Because I do not want to think of my mom fucking herself on cam or fucking anyone on cam for that matter. JUST like I'm sure she does not want to see me fucking myself on cam WHICH is why I don't tell her or anyone in my family that I am in the adult industry (This ONTOP of being Nigerian). I am not trying to be rude but I don't understand why you don't understand that? Do you really believe everyone should think like you do? No, It's not a double standard. Yes I wouldn't give a fuck if my sister was camming/doing porn or whatever else... that's her. My mother? No. She is my mom and no one wants to think of their mom like that (at least I do not). I guess it's a good thing she married rich. As I said, I am Nigerian - we do not do things the way Americans do.
    Wow - I really wasn't trying to be offensive - I was just interested in why.

    Clearly, I don't think that everyone should think the way I do, or I wouldn't ask people about their thought processes or try to understand them. I'm really not sure how you got that.

    And yes, I can absolutely understand that people might not want to think about their mother as a sexual person - that is why I suggested it as a reason. I just wondered if that was the ONLY reason, or if there was something else at play in that reasoning. For example - LaurenAus said something that I would never have thought of - that she wouldn't want her mother to be insulted the way we are. That also makes perfect sense to me.

    I was simply asking a question because I thought that your original post was interesting.
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahTime View Post
    Sure sounds like you are doing things "the way Americans do" to me.
    You're in the industry yourself, aren't you? I don't think it's is an American vs. anyone else type thing.

    "We don't do things the way Americans do."

    Those awful, awful, awful AMERICANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
    When I said "we" I meant Nigerians. It's the way "they" think. Do you get it now? I know I'm a rebel and I'm damn proud of it.
    I do not think I am better than any other nationality. However, Americans ARE more lenient when it comes to these things. I would have to literally move to a remote island, shave my head and rename myself "Bruno" if my parents ever found out about my role in the adult industry - that's escorting /camming..etc. Americans are more open minded... anyways... that's besides the point.

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    Wow - I really wasn't trying to be offensive - I was just interested in why.

    Clearly, I don't think that everyone should think the way I do, or I wouldn't ask people about their thought processes or try to understand them. I'm really not sure how you got that.

    And yes, I can absolutely understand that people might not want to think about their mother as a sexual person - that is why I suggested it as a reason. I just wondered if that was the ONLY reason, or if there was something else at play in that reasoning. For example - LaurenAus said something that I would never have thought of - that she wouldn't want her mother to be insulted the way we are. That also makes perfect sense to me.

    I was simply asking a question because I thought that your original post was interesting.
    Maybe they don't do things the way Canadians do either.

    I'm just poking fun.

    But really, I think if I said "We just don't do things the way Nigerians do" you might possibly take offense to that. You said "we don't do things the way Americans do" in response to why you wouldn't want your mother in the adult industry.... which is to imply that we Americans are somehow "worse" than you.

    Maybe it's the language difference? I don't know. But I thought it was slightly offensive. I know I wouldn't be able to say the same about another nationality without taking some heat for it, so why is it "ok" to say things like that about Americans?
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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Quote Originally Posted by MotherTang View Post
    But I think you'd rather see your mom as a financially stable cam girl than have to worry about if she has enough money to buy food this month. And that's the truth.

    The girls who seem against it are the ones who have probably never seen their mother unable to afford gas $$$ to get to a free clinic, or those who have never seen their mother try to live off a loaf of bread for a week. Things like that. But sadly, that's the reality for a lot of adults out there- especially older ones who are too young to retire but too old for an employer to hire them over someone younger with more experience & more connections.
    My mom is still living paycheck to paycheck. So that's not true. But it's not that I don't want her to do it. She's a grown woman. I just don't want to know about it or talk about it. It is what it is. But if she were to do it, I wouldn't say "oh God no mom please don't". She can do what she wants. I just want don't want to hear any stories about it. Some things aren't meant for my ears.

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    Default Re: Convincing my mom to enter the adult industry?

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahTime View Post
    Maybe they don't do things the way Canadians do either.

    I'm just poking fun.

    But really, I think if I said "We just don't do things the way Nigerians do" you might possibly take offense to that. You said "we don't do things the way Americans do" in response to why you wouldn't want your mother in the adult industry.... which is to imply that we Americans are somehow "worse" than you.

    Maybe it's the language difference? I don't know. But I thought it was slightly offensive. I know I wouldn't be able to say the same about another nationality without taking some heat for it, so why is it "ok" to say things like that about Americans?
    Yes it's the language difference. I meant no offense by it.
    I explained myself to the best of my ability. Yes A lot of Nigerians think they are better than Americans just like I'm sure a lot of Canadians, South Africans,
    Europeans think they're better than Americans but I do not feel I am. It should be over and done with. It's not the point of the thread.

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