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Thread: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

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    Default No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    I haven't posted any questions here for a long time, but here are two. Please answer one or both:

    Question # 1: My experience with dancers is that, usually, I get a hug or kiss on the cheeks as a good bye after dances. Today I had a couple of dances (only two because it was my lunch time and I was rushed) from a dancer and she gave me a very sensual dance (lots of time just sitting on my lap and grinding/moving her butt slowly and sensually), but after I paid her and asked what her schedule was (and she told me), she just got up and left. I really like this dancer and was thinking about coming back to see her, but I'm not sure now. She's goth and kind of quiet, if it makes any difference. Normally, I wouldn't care much, but I really like her.

    Does that fact that she did not say good bye with a hug, kiss, or even handshake signal that: (a) she does not like me, (b) she was not happy with my tip, (c) I did something she didn't like (it was a high-contact dance, and I touched her some, mostly her legs and back) or (d) nothing, I'm reading too much into this.

    Question # 2:Many dancers are skilled at chatting up customers. But, once in a while, I meet a dancer who is very quiet and expects me to do most of the talking. I just ask the same lame questions - How long have you been dancing here? How do you like this club? Etc. Any suggestions for interesting ice breakers and conversation topics?Thanks.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    If a custy creeps me out I might just walk away after counting down the seconds while he pays. On a first dance I hate it when customers touch me- even tho I work in a high contact environment mostly.

    When I am in a quiet mood I like to sit in silence with a respectful customer. Maybe you could ask her for a dance on the next song and ask her is you can massage her neck before the song starts if you really want some interaction.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    1) Could just be bad customer service, a personality tick or she was just in a mood that day. Can't really tell from 1 instance. I wouldn't weight it too much. If you like her and her service, go back and have a great time. Maybe you'll get a hug or a wink. I suspect others may say, "If her grind is great, who cares how she says goodbye!"

    2) If she's quiet, I'm usually quiet. I figure if she wanted to talk, she'd say something. If I'm truly curious about something, I'll ask. But if nothing comes to mind, I won't force it. I just chalk it up to not having 100% chemistry.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    As far as quiet dancers go -
    On the rare occasion that a girl sits with me and she is a very poor conversationalist, I will keep the conversation moving as best I can with any and all topics that I can think of. I can't stand sitting in awkward silence with a dancer - it makes time stand still for me. And if the forced conversation on my part fails, I'll assume that the dancer is more of a "doer" than a talker and as a last resort suggest that we go for a dance. If a girl has been sitting with you for awhile and won't talk or ask for a dance, how do you tactfully get her to leave? I have never figured that one out, so I ask her to dance instead. If the dance sucks, I'm only out $20 or $30. But if the dance KMSO, then I've stumbled onto a "silent" goldmine.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    D. She would not have given you her schedule if she didn't want to dance for you again. If you want touchy-feely type girls it sounds like you may be out of luck with this gal. Still, if you liked the dance it may be worth trying a few more. She may loosen up or you may decide to accept her approach for what it is and just enjoy the dances.
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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Yup, generally only means she was on to the next one. I usually said thanks but only gave hugs or cheek kisses to high spenders or those I knew well.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    I just realized you meant that the dancer is quiet while sitting with you, not during a dance. Yeah, that's awkward. Especially on approach. I'm curious to hear what others have to say.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Well these girls are not trained in good sales techniques, and that's an understatement. Most of the women I have worked with were not at all skilled in sales. Which is a shame for them and the clubs both.

    If they do have that special knack for roping in the return custies by little touches like this, it's almost always either intuitive knowledge--or they are more clever than most, and have learned by observation of other hustlers etc.

    A lot of them have no clue that they are losing potential return business by an abrupt departure. I wouldn't take it personally. And if you really liked her and enjoyed the dance, maybe give her another try.


    As far as the quiet ones go, maybe ask them what kind of music they like. Where they are from, if they like it in the town you are in. If they've seen any good movies. Some women just dont want to talk much, and none of these will work lol. Just relax and enjoy the view of the stage maybe. Talking isn't always as necessary as everyone thinks. Though I tend to like it, being a verbal person and all.
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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    wait-is it your job (customers) or our (dancers) job to start conversations? i personally think if a dancer is quiet she sucks at her job. if youre the one trying to get the conversation going, she will never learn to get better at her job.

    and yeah, D youre over analyzing.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Conversation can be nice, but not if it's forced, and often it's awkward in a noisy club. I've had quiet girls touch my hand, or lean lightly against me. Not a word needed to be said. She can relax, enjoy her drink and I"m enjoying the sensuality of the moment.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Glad to hear that abrupt departures are profitable for you. It wouldn't work at all with me--but then I never get dances, nor do I try to waste the dancers' time when I am in a club partying. I tell them right away I am a DJ and they should talk to the other guys.

    I certainly understand dealing with time wasters and people who are a pain in the ass, male and female. I do it every night I work at the club.

    And yeah after a while I sometimes don't waste my effort being nice and putting on the 'good sales/PR technique' face with people who want everything under the fucking sun for 10$.

    Nonetheless, for most of the dancers I've worked with, a little sales training would be very beneficial. This isn't their fault at all, rather that of management. It's very much a sales-oriented job, yet no club I have ever worked in or heard of ever tries to give them any training in sales.


    ETA oh and...

    Quote Originally Posted by rgbg View Post
    Conversation can be nice, but not if it's forced, and often it's awkward in a noisy club. I've had quiet girls touch my hand, or lean lightly against me. Not a word needed to be said. She can relax, enjoy her drink and I"m enjoying the sensuality of the moment.
    That's exactly what I meant in my first post. Sometimes non-verbal communication is all that you need.
    Last edited by Djoser; 11-02-2012 at 08:02 PM.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    ^ Most of the girls here in Houston are very friendly - good at chatting up customers and very warm saying good bye (good 'ol southern hospitality). If a girl is abrupt at leaving (this is only the second time I can remember this happening), I would probably not look for her again, but it wouldn't be a big deal.

    It's different with this girl, though, I REALLY liked her - damn cute goth girl and one of the best lap dances ever!
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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Let me tell you, Jack. If any woman I ever paid to do anything at all for me walked off without saying goodbye or thanking me, she wouldn't get the time of day from me--much less one dime of my cash.

    This is the only business I've ever heard of where this will work at all. Unless maybe it was a dungeon for submissive guys.

    Granted--as we have discussed before--it is often necessary in order to dispense with time wasters and leeches disguised as male customers. Doesn't take but about two weeks working in the business to figure that out, even if you are a DJ or bouncer.

    Personally, if I were you (taking your word that you are not a time waster or a leech type customer), I wouldn't get a dance from her again. But hey try it and see, if you liked her that much. And you never know, maybe she was just having a bad night or in a hurry to go see a big spender.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Desu and I are opposites in this department. I prefer to use vivid conversation to loosen the wallet up and feign sincereity and interest very, very well. I'd rather captivate you with words. Her approach works well for her, I've seen it in action myself, so maybe the chick in question is much the same. Maybe Jack's dancer was a little introverted. I'm super extroverted so do the "fun, exciting worldly girl" thing really well. Some girls, the super social aspect doesn't come naturally to them.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    ^ I'm a talker too.

    Why not google some conversation topics? Icebeakers? Ask her for a hug goodbye next time?

    It was a good dance though so do you really care?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    I need her to desperately clutch at me one last time while mournfully whispering in my ear, "I wish I didn't have to leave - being away from you hurts too much." Then, as we slowly drift apart, she should be misty eyed with a poignantly wistful look on her face.

    If she doesn't convince me that I would be the love of her life if not for the uncontrollable circumstances that are tearing her from my arms, then I won't spend any more money on her.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Question 1: nothing. Maybe shes just not an affectionate person. Im generally not affectionate but still give an affectionate lap dance. I donno its hard to explain but its just not natural for me to kiss and hug strangers.

    Questions 2: I would talk more about yourself and take note mentally if there is anything that seemed to grasp her attention more. Then talk about stuff in that area. But at the end of the day sometime you dont need to talk. I dont find silence awkward at all but when someone else does it makes me uncomfortable. Just take her for a dance. I find food and travel are usually safe topics thought that anyone can talk about. But please dont ask what her hobbies are or what she does in her free time. Girls dont have hobbies and in her free time she sleeps cause shes a stripper and shes fucking exhausted.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Jack, it seems to me that you're thinking a little too much here. A lapdance session is a business transaction to these ladies and they're often thinking of other things the whole while they're servicing you. If you liked the dance, by all means repeat with that girl. If you become a repeat customer, she is more likely to remember you and add the affectional touches at some point in the future. If you're still disappointed after 2 or 3 visits, then move on.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Mediocrity, I appreciate when a dancer in my regular club makes the effort to at least pretend to be interested in me as a person. I'm very impressed when a dancer greets me by name and can recall some detail from an earlier conversation. Honestly, what I and most other guys are paying for is companionship. Physical contact is wonderful, but makes up only a small portion of my time in the club. Keep doing what you're doing. Guys like me love it and will come back for more.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I need her to desperately clutch at me one last time while mournfully whispering in my ear, "I wish I didn't have to leave - being away from you hurts too much." Then, as we slowly drift apart, she should be misty eyed with a poignantly wistful look on her face.

    If she doesn't convince me that I would be the love of her life if not for the uncontrollable circumstances that are tearing her from my arms, then I won't spend any more money on her.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by 3-Legged Man View Post
    Mediocrity, I appreciate when a dancer in my regular club makes the effort to at least pretend to be interested in me as a person. I'm very impressed when a dancer greets me by name and can recall some detail from an earlier conversation. Honestly, what I and most other guys are paying for is companionship. Physical contact is wonderful, but makes up only a small portion of my time in the club. Keep doing what you're doing. Guys like me love it and will come back for more.
    Thanks. I'm nearly 2 years retired now, but I do feel like that aspect of the way I conducted my business helped significantly.

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Q........I dont find silence awkward at all but when someone else does it makes me uncomfortable. Just take her for a dance. I find food and travel are usually safe topics thought that anyone can talk about. But please dont ask what her hobbies are or what she does in her free time. Girls dont have hobbies and in her free time she sleeps cause shes a stripper and shes fucking exhausted.
    Bwa ha ha ha
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    I only leave abruptly when:
    1) I have to go to stage or am being paged elsewhere
    2) I have other customers waiting for me.
    I usually try to make it very clear that I had a good time, want to see ya again unless you were mean, etc.
    She may just be new to dancing. Stripper etiquette is perfected dance by dance, day by day, dangit.
    As far as not talking goes, I am usually verbose ad nauseaum; however, I've noticed that when I'm frustrated and don't want to talk when it's busy, just saying hi, sitting down, and rubbing a guy's arm sweetly for a minute or two gets me dances without saying more than the initial hello. This is typically done after I've talked my head off at tables that I was brought to by management/waitresses (as I was requested there) only to get $20-$40. Rehashing my life story and interests in all things erotic and/or nerdy loses appeal after that, lol.

    So, in short, she had others/somewhere else to go, is new, or maybe had already given lengthy speeches on the fall of Rome/stripper shoes/kegels/ boobs/etc.
    Hope that clarifies it

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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by bunny8558 View Post
    I only leave abruptly when:
    1) I have to go to stage or am being paged elsewhere
    2) I have other customers waiting for me.
    I usually try to make it very clear that I had a good time, want to see ya again unless you were mean, etc.
    She may just be new to dancing. Stripper etiquette is perfected dance by dance, day by day, dangit.
    As far as not talking goes, I am usually verbose ad nauseaum; however, I've noticed that when I'm frustrated and don't want to talk when it's busy, just saying hi, sitting down, and rubbing a guy's arm sweetly for a minute or two gets me dances without saying more than the initial hello. This is typically done after I've talked my head off at tables that I was brought to by management/waitresses (as I was requested there) only to get $20-$40. Rehashing my life story and interests in all things erotic and/or nerdy loses appeal after that, lol.

    So, in short, she had others/somewhere else to go, is new, or maybe had already given lengthy speeches on the fall of Rome/stripper shoes/kegels/ boobs/etc.
    Hope that clarifies it
    Good post Bunny.

    Ha wow a dancer discussing the Fall of Rome...I'd be smitten and that's nearly impossible anymore.
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    Default Re: No Good Bye & Chattinhg With Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    Question # 2:Many dancers are skilled at chatting up customers. But, once in a while, I meet a dancer who is very quiet and expects me to do most of the talking. I just ask the same lame questions - How long have you been dancing here? How do you like this club? Etc. Any suggestions for interesting ice breakers and conversation topics?Thanks.
    Whatever you do keep it light and, for Christ's sake don't be argumentative! A fave of mine was chatting with a guy about a year ago and it was looking like he was going into the dance room with her. For some reason sports came up and it turned out that this guy was a Yankees fan. My fave is a Red Sox fan but, hey, no big deal for her, she works in CT and there are plenty of both in that neck of the woods. Well, almost-customer goes into a rant about the 2004 ALCS, ripping players, management and basically calling all Red Sox fans morons. Really dude? You are calling this hot chick who is willing to rub herself all over you for mere money an moron? How fucking stuid are you?

    wait, it get's better....

    He offers to buy her lunch, she politely declines. For health and humanitarian reasons my fave is vegan and there is nothing but burgers and chicken wings on her club's menu so she never eats there. She offers to sit and keep him company (the club was slow) or to come back to him after he has his lunch. Well, numb-nuts goes into another rant! This time it's about tree-huggers and people who don't eat "real food". "why don't you just have a burger, the cow is already dead!" Now, my fave is a hustler. As long as you don't smell bad she will take you to the PD area and as long as you don't try to stick a finger someplace that it doesn't belong she will keep dancing for you until all of your money is gone. But, seriously, two stupidity-based personal attacks from a guy who is expecting to pay you to act as if you like him while he gropes you? It wasn't gonna happen. She excused herself, got up, walked away and never went back to the guy.

    Just talk about the weather...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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