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Thread: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

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    Featured Member Tsepmet1's Avatar
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    Duh Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    At one point in time, all of us have been newbies. Looking back, what have been your most "ah, I was so fucking dumb" moments?

    I'll start.

    Besides the obvious wig/wardrobe fails of my early days, my biggest *facepalm* would have to be my epic pole trick fails. If you can't do it well, don't do it on stage!!! Lol

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Once I didn't tuck a tampon string in far enough so it must have come out, and when I was bending over during nude lap dances in a stag show, all the guys saw it. The worst part was that I didn't even realize it until the next evening, when one of the guys returned to the club and straight up asked if it had been a tampon string or a hair, because the group had been trying to figure it out. I turned beet red, mumbled something about it being a tampon, and wandered off. I'd been wondering why they'd been checking my ass out so much!

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    Veteran Member absolutbliss's Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Oh man.....where to start. The pole trick FAILS were first, followed by wearing too-tall heels too- soon and falling on my ass while getting off stage....being on the wrong stage at the wrong time..walking around with an eyelash half fallen off....the list goes on and on ! The great part is I can laugh at it now...really nobody cares! Don't get beat up about it we allllllll do it!
    I'd grab my trumpet and I'd do a stripper sound, like the old Louis Armstrong, real raspy. And the people would go nuts! Then I knew that the sexual, sensual, guttural sound, that throbbing sound, is where it's at.

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Oh, I've had tampons strings fall out. I've bled through while on stage and during dances.

    I've fallen on occasion. In every club, there's always somewhere that the floor isn't completely flat!

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    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    I had my tampon string come out while on stage maybe two months ago... Some guy refused to tip me, but I guess that's why!
    I also fall occasionally, it happens.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    i had a miscarriage when i was new to stripping and they refused to let me go home, told me to wear a pad and booty shorts since the dr told me to avoid tampons..i was so scared of losing my job and didn't think i'd get hired anywhere else being so new i walked around with a huge diaper on ..that was attractive..oh and getting drunk and going around telling all the custys just exactly what i thought of them and getting my purse stolen ..haven't had a drop of alcohol since then while working..

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    Newbie bdsm love's Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    when a guy would ask for dance instead of lapdance, i'd say "i don't know how to"
    thinking he was meaning tango or ballroom dancing..

    yeah. total idiocy. :-p

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    wearing 6 1/2in heels my first time dancing, my club is mainly stage dancing and i had no idea how to dance NOT on someone...ended up walking around the pole with one hand like a crazy lady, trying to not fall over jumping around to snoop dogg not realising i should go slow.....sexual baby

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    I used to trip in my 6inchers EVERYWHERE haha. One night I fell flat on my knees in front of everyone in the smoking area and everyone just stared.
    Also, little things like kicking over drinks when people set them on the rack, going to the wrong stage, and failing at pole trick attempts..

    Giving my first lap dance and the dude literally had to walk me through what I should do because I had NO idea what I was doing.

    Luckily I haven't had a tampon string incident yet..'knock on wood'

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    Senior Member Dorien's Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Quote Originally Posted by bdsm love View Post
    when a guy would ask for dance instead of lapdance, i'd say "i don't know how to"
    thinking he was meaning tango or ballroom dancing..

    yeah. total idiocy. :-p
    ^ Just the cutest thing ever:-)
    http://doriengrais.blogspot.com/-Senior Citizen Stripper
    (Check out my blogs on stripperweb:-)

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Tampon String hanging out- there was a waitress staring at me i couldnt figure out why then she told me minutes later.... A little too late....
    my first song i ever danced to was "dirty" by Christina Aguilera (was not my choice) lol the first club i worked at was weird about requests...
    Even then though i think i knew it was dumb!
    Haha Rookie days! Good times : ) miss my dancing days sometimes
    Last edited by hf487; 11-09-2012 at 09:31 PM. Reason: misspelling

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    I worked at this trucker strip club in Moriarty NM called club 203. One of the veteran dancers told me to beware of "lot lizards" (prostitutes that frequent truck stops) Baby stripper me says "Oh don't worry mama I'm wearing my Dr. Martens today so they can't crawl on me and bite me". Veteran strippers all chuckled. *facepalm*
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Falls...my first club had major carpet potholes.
    Never had issues with Pole attempts ..I just didn't do them!
    My first day of work outfit I thought wad cute, it was, but not practical. I literally got stuck in it & nearly cried of embarrassment. I kept it all this time to remind myself what an example of 'cute but a bad idea' is. Lol...now I just fall in the boring bikini/legwarmer category.
    , I panicked my first CR. I kept thinkig "Whhhhy Me!? I want your $$$ but I don't know what to do!!" Thank god he was a traveling Aussie who just wanted to chat about tourist attractions.
    My hustle wasn't terrible but I wasn't good at gauging how long to sit & talk with custys. I'll never forget this east Indian guy who ate up my time...seemed so promising for whatever reason, maybe 2 dances in (he'd want to take a break in between dances which I thought was weird-and before I thought to ask for the $up front). Finally I got frustrated and said I had to go & he couldn't pay. He BEGGED me to take his EBT food stamp card....offered me free perfume at 'PERFUME HUT' anytime I wanted where he worked at a local mall.... *smh* after tooth & nail the bouncer got $ out of him & kicked him out. Huge, huge waste of time.

    Annnnd....the time I got my boob bit by a little Hispanic man. Freaked me the Fuck out

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    Duh Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Falls...my first club had major carpet potholes.
    Never had issues with Pole attempts ..I just didn't do them!
    My first day of work outfit I thought wad cute, it was, but not practical. I literally got stuck in it & nearly cried of embarrassment. I kept it all this time to remind myself what an example of 'cute but a bad idea' is. Lol...now I just fall in the boring bikini/legwarmer category.
    , I panicked my first CR. I kept thinkig "Whhhhy Me!? I want your $$$ but I don't know what to do!!" Thank god he was a traveling Aussie who just wanted to chat about tourist attractions.
    My hustle wasn't terrible but I wasn't good at gauging how long to sit & talk with custys. I'll never forget this east Indian guy who ate up my time...seemed so promising for whatever reason, maybe 2 dances in (he'd want to take a break in between dances which I thought was weird-and before I thought to ask for the $up front). Finally I got frustrated and said I had to go & he couldn't pay. He BEGGED me to take his EBT food stamp card....offered me free perfume at 'PERFUME HUT' anytime I wanted where he worked at a local mall.... *smh* after tooth & nail the bouncer got $ out of him & kicked him out. Huge, huge waste of time.

    Annnnd....the time I got my boob bit by a little Hispanic man. Freaked me the Fuck out

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    Veteran Member Seatortuga's Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Attempted pole tricks so awfully that I literally broke the too-high-heels that I couldn't walk in anyway, my God I was a mess

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    On my very first audition ever, I was in the DR waiting to do my very first stage dance ever. There was a rolling rack with all kinds of colorful costumes, lingerie et. I actually thought the club provided the dancers with a full wardrobe for dancing. Of course when I asked if this was true, they all starting laughing at me.
    http://doriengrais.blogspot.com/-Senior Citizen Stripper
    (Check out my blogs on stripperweb:-)

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    these are so cute!

    my first shift ever, we sell lapdances but all the signs at work say "table dances." so super niave me says to the first customer i talk to, before i sell a dance, "i'm not too nervous about the dance itself, but i'm worried about being on the table. my heels are so high, and this table is so small! i'm going to fall!" haha, he got a good laugh out of that one.

    i had a tampon incident once, i was dancing for a guy and his friend was sitting across from us and goes, "oh! you have your clit pierced!" i'm looking at him going "umm.....not last time i checked?" this back and forth went on for a little while, till i finally looked down, saw the tampon string, had NO IDEA what to do, so went with "oh. why yes i DO have my clit pierced. i forgot." got my payment quickly and RAAAAN to the bathroom!

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    Default Re: Baby stripper *facepalm* moments!

    Quote Originally Posted by tiffany_twisted View Post
    these are so cute!

    my first shift ever, we sell lapdances but all the signs at work say "table dances." so super niave me says to the first customer i talk to, before i sell a dance, "i'm not too nervous about the dance itself, but i'm worried about being on the table. my heels are so high, and this table is so small! i'm going to fall!" haha, he got a good laugh out of that one.


    i had a tampon incident once, i was dancing for a guy and his friend was sitting across from us and goes, "oh! you have your clit pierced!" i'm looking at him going "umm.....not last time i checked?" this back and forth went on for a little while, till i finally looked down, saw the tampon string, had NO IDEA what to do, so went with "oh. why yes i DO have my clit pierced. i forgot." got my payment quickly and RAAAAN to the bathroom!
    "I forgot."
    Hahahahahaha!

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