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Thread: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

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    Veteran Member BlondebombGA's Avatar
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    Duh I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    So, I was going to post this in AdultWork because some things run a bit differently there, but I realized this probably is a universal cam issue and I would love to hear as much input as possible.

    Please tell me how you handle custies who ignore the concept of group/private. Honestly, out of 10 guys maybe 2 or 3 actually go straight to private for the things I only offer in private. ( C2C/fetish/roleplay/toys/directing me) I'll admit, I have on occasion been my own worst enemy, because that little voice says "you aren't going to make any money at all tonight if this keeps up", so I give in to a C2C or a little humiliation (especially if other guys aren't coming in). I also think my problem is that I enjoy performing more when there is interaction, and I have been giving way to much personal attention in group. I get caught up in the middle of group (with 1 guy) and he's like oh ...(insert request/position etc. here) and when I'm in the mood I roll with it. I know, I know...terrible training of these guys, but seriously now I am done and over it! My funloving self is being taken advantage of and I don't know how to turn it around now. How do I take it back from those who I have stupidly given in to???

    One of my really steady regs who has very specific scripts etc. has always gone private, and yesterday he pops into group at a different time of day than usual, and says "My wife is out for a bit...don't have much time." It totally threw me off, and I did the show because he is a really good 5 day a week reg, but dammit...no one else wants to see me humiliate him, telling him to suck my tranny c&ck, or describe how his sister in law, whom I have a giant legal size pic of (poor girl) is going to abuse him a million ways to Sunday. How do you handle this ladies?? Would you have confronted him about it before the show? I hate the idea of loosing money by not taking a show in group, especially the super easy ones, but now I am over it, and I can't let that fear run my room.

    Yesterday, I raised my group rate quite a bit (by AW standards) because I might as well get paid for what I offer, and I had a new surge of confidence in standing my ground and it worked pretty well as I went about my planned script. Because I like C2C as I feel the exhibitionists out there are doing half the work for me, when someone asks about it in group I've decided to allow it, but I let them know upfront if anyone else comes in I can't watch any longer. Bad decision?? I'm not really sure. At this point I'm just more concerned with breaking the personal attention and special treatment in group some have gotten used to. I take full responsibility here, but for me at least, I don't get that many groups with multiple guys on AW outside of the prime times at night, so I think I've gotten slack because they so often feel like a private.

    How do I take it back ladies? How do I handle the guys who are accustomed to me being too lenient in group, and the regs who occasionally try me? Is there a way to keep them as custies, or will this end it? I'm tempted to just use the private button for a while, but don't want to loose the occasional decent group gatherings that come my way.

    I have learned my lesson, and will accept spankings readily.


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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    I'd say you are a control freak and you need to learn to go with the flow. Sometimes I am making salsa in the kitchen at 1pm and someone hits me up on skype and wants a show now. Am I going to pass up $50 for 10 min of work because I am not 'mentally prepared' or in control?
    No. I take my laptop and head to my room for 10-15, starting off in whatever Im wearing.
    Don't sweat the details, just get money wherever whenever you can. If it's not enough time for your efforts then don't do it, period. JMO

  3. #3
    Senior Member MotherTang's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by BlondebombGA View Post
    So, I was going to post this in AdultWork because some things run a bit differently there, but I realized this probably is a universal cam issue and I would love to hear as much input as possible.

    Please tell me how you handle custies who ignore the concept of group/private. Honestly, out of 10 guys maybe 2 or 3 actually go straight to private for the things I only offer in private. ( C2C/fetish/roleplay/toys/directing me) I'll admit, I have on occasion been my own worst enemy, because that little voice says "you aren't going to make any money at all tonight if this keeps up", so I give in to a C2C or a little humiliation (especially if other guys aren't coming in). I also think my problem is that I enjoy performing more when there is interaction, and I have been giving way to much personal attention in group. I get caught up in the middle of group (with 1 guy) and he's like oh ...(insert request/position etc. here) and when I'm in the mood I roll with it. I know, I know...terrible training of these guys, but seriously now I am done and over it! My funloving self is being taken advantage of and I don't know how to turn it around now. How do I take it back from those who I have stupidly given in to???

    One of my really steady regs who has very specific scripts etc. has always gone private, and yesterday he pops into group at a different time of day than usual, and says "My wife is out for a bit...don't have much time." It totally threw me off, and I did the show because he is a really good 5 day a week reg, but dammit...no one else wants to see me humiliate him, telling him to suck my tranny c&ck, or describe how his sister in law, whom I have a giant legal size pic of (poor girl) is going to abuse him a million ways to Sunday. How do you handle this ladies?? Would you have confronted him about it before the show? I hate the idea of loosing money by not taking a show in group, especially the super easy ones, but now I am over it, and I can't let that fear run my room.

    Yesterday, I raised my group rate quite a bit (by AW standards) because I might as well get paid for what I offer, and I had a new surge of confidence in standing my ground and it worked pretty well as I went about my planned script. Because I like C2C as I feel the exhibitionists out there are doing half the work for me, when someone asks about it in group I've decided to allow it, but I let them know upfront if anyone else comes in I can't watch any longer. Bad decision?? I'm not really sure. At this point I'm just more concerned with breaking the personal attention and special treatment in group some have gotten used to. I take full responsibility here, but for me at least, I don't get that many groups with multiple guys on AW outside of the prime times at night, so I think I've gotten slack because they so often feel like a private.

    How do I take it back ladies? How do I handle the guys who are accustomed to me being too lenient in group, and the regs who occasionally try me? Is there a way to keep them as custies, or will this end it? I'm tempted to just use the private button for a while, but don't want to loose the occasional decent group gatherings that come my way.

    I have learned my lesson, and will accept spankings readily.

    YUHHHHHSSSS @ your sig quote!!!!!

    Just be like I CAN ONLY DO THAT IN PVT and right now we are in GROUP. Otherwise we can do light humiliation here but I'll ignore you if other guys come in.

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    Veteran Member BlondebombGA's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    LRRG, if I treat it like that though, then what incentive does my reg or any guy have to ever go to private again. Sweetheart, we are talking about a weekly loss of anywhere from $50-$150 off this one reg weekly alone, if he decides to start going group. He'll think, I did it once so why spend extra money, and that is gonna make a big difference in my earnings. It's not about being a control freak. I gladly jump on cam/Skype or whatever for my regs, and give great rates for extended Skype shows. It's that I have been too lenient in my groups, and need to make a distinct difference between Grp and Private again, because otherwise why don't I just start charging Romanian rates, and let everyone use me up. I am here to make money, not to be the cam girl that lets s%it slide.

    I'm not really sure you got my post. It has nothing to do with someone offering me $50 for a Skype and me saying, "oh no, I'm not prepared...I don't want your money unless it's when and how I want it." It's about people constantly trying to get me at a discount, and my realization that I have let it go too far, and asking advice here on how to mend my ways while doing the least amount of damage. If that makes me a control freak, then yes...I am one crazy, controlling bitch who costs $$$ per minute if you want me alone taking orders from you. Go ahead and call me Leona Helmsley or Tom Cruise if you'd like.


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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    You are definitely on to it when you talk about "training them"....so think of it as though you were training a dog. Seriously - I am training my puppy right now, so it is a metaphor that I can REALLY get on board with!

    Sometimes, I change things. I used to do c2c in exclusive only, now I allow it in pvt. Sometimes I have done a show in pvt that I later regret, and tell them that it is only exclusive from now on.

    Essentially- you are still in control - you are the alpha, so to speak. If you recognize that you have been allowing something that you shouldn't have, all you can do is re-assert your authority, and expect it to be a little more difficult because you screwed up. We all do - I know that I have definitely had those moments where I am having a slow day, and someone starts requesting/doing something in pvt that I would usually only allow in exclusive - and I, too, think "dayum, I really need the money. I'll allow it just this once.". You don't necessarily NEED to stop that - just make it VERY, VERY clear that you are only allowing it because your client is just SO special, and JUST THIS ONCE, you will let him because you are SO very horny...but next time he better be in exclusive!!!

    I find that when you do realise that you have given away more than you intended to, playing the "you are so special" card goes a long way.
    - Oh, I let you turn on your cam because I got so turned on and carried away that I forgot we weren't in exclusive....you naughty boy! You should really tip me for that, but I'll allow it because I had so much fun....Oh no - THIS time you have to be in exclusive - I won't let you do that again! Tee Hee!!!
    You may even get them trying HARDER because they think that they got you so carried away...

    And for the less-regular - well, screw em! Honestly, consistency helps, but if you aren't totally consistent, they won't be too bothered. Like Isobel said elsewhere - it's only porn. Think about the times that you KNOW you have had a show with someone, and they pop up and clearly have no memory of it. Or the times that someone comes in and references a past show, when you can see that they have never spent money on you. They aren't thinking with the upstairs head, so half the time, I bet they wouldn't realize that you are being less than consistent.
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    You can take back control!

    I used to twirl and do c2c in free preview...then I stopped, no problem. I have also been guilty of doing c2c in group and doing shows that really should be in pvt because I didn't want to lose the guy...and I've said that if someone else comes in I will have to stop, then annoyingly no one else comes in and then they think they can have their pvt sessions in group. It really annoys me too when a guy who normally has pvt sessions comes into group.

    "Would you like to come into pvt with me?" is a friendly nudge that they seem to understand. If they query it because you allowed it before, you can say something like "yes, I know but these sessions should be in pvt rather than group and that's how I will be running my sessions from now on."
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    God/dess Vlodina's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    I agree with much that has been said but here's some more options. Have your group and private prices the same or very close, then they should mostly choose private to start with. Or have them the same price but only have audio in private (let's face it, how many people do you get in group at once on Adultwork). Or you could implement that first in group gets c2c but others don't (mute them of course). The latter won't work when it's trannies or stuff though.

    Sometimes I'm guilty of it too and do things in group that should only be private, but what I say to them is "Mmm sure we can do that, but when somebody else comes in we'll have to stop and do a normal group show". Then hopefully someone else comes in, and they get it.

    ETA: Yes, it is important that you do something about it. The guys on Adultwork know that it's a relatively quiet site, and know that there's at least a good chance that they may get you all to themselves in Group. There needs to be an incentitive to go private rather than group. I'll also say that yes, I've had people in group and I've told them they would need to go private for x,y,z and they have left never to be seen again (when I've been needing the money too!) and I've had people in private leave who I've had to tell that they would need to use special offer x, y, z for what they are wanting. Oh well, what can you do?
    Last edited by Vlodina; 11-10-2012 at 02:59 AM.

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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    I found when I was charging 1.70 grp and 2.00 pvt, most of my shows were in pvt. When I tried 1.50 grp and 2.20 pvt, they were mostly grp. At the moment I'm 1.50 grp and 2.50 pvt and I get mostly grp but a better chance of more than one in grp...if I was 2.00 grp and 3.00 pvt I would probably get more in grp with them knowing that it was even less likely that I would get someone else in grp too, and they could essentially have a pvt session at grp price.
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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    I just tell them as soon as they come into group (before they even say hello!) that 'hey babe, just to remind you this is group chat so we can't do anything specific here - you're welcome to watch me play though'. 9 times out of 10 they'll say 'oops hit wrong button brb' and come into private.
    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    Somebody call the WAHHHHmbulance.

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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    right, just tell them NO.
    I still don't see what the problem is. Nobody ever has control of what you decide to do when and where and for how much, but you. It's easy. "noooooooo" I say it like 25 times a day. Will you show tits in free chat bb? "nooooooo" Show pussy for tips bb? "nooooooo" can I get a preview before we start "noooooo" I guess I do fail to see the point of your post. I don't understand how you feel this regular is manipulating you into doing things that are against your rules and therefore causing you to lose money.

    ... I guess you have Krona from the Green Lantern as a regular. smh


    Quote Originally Posted by BritishBecky View Post
    I just tell them as soon as they come into group (before they even say hello!) that 'hey babe, just to remind you this is group chat so we can't do anything specific here - you're welcome to watch me play though'. 9 times out of 10 they'll say 'oops hit wrong button brb' and come into private.

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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    OP, I completely understand your issue and what you're getting at. I read your whole post and therefor clearly see the issue that you're having and think some great advice has been offered by loveshooks, Becky, Katy, Vlodina, Roses & Tang.

    It's hard to risk giving up the money in order to re-assert your boundaries, but I think you'll find it worth it in the end. Of course you don't want to lose those regulars. But you also don't want to regret not earning more for specialized shows. Really great regulars, the ones who are worth keeping around, will understand. And I've found that so many customers are willing to pay more to have you cater to their fantasy.

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    Veteran Member BlondebombGA's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    THIS is why I love this site and you girls!!! MRoses, you are always so spot on. (AW rubbing off on me.) I am the alpha dog, and will think of it like that from now on. Plus, I hadn't even thought about turning it into a flirty "oh, I lost control because you make me so hot bb" kinda turn around. Brilliant honey. Thanks. And CKaty, simply giving that nudge when they start requesting is such a simple thing to do, and at least reminds them that I am aware we are in grp. Maybe I'll tinker w/ my prices again for some experimentation. Loveshooks, as always you are awesome. Thanks for the reminder that they are coming to me because they like what I do. And yes, time to stick to my boundaries with the confidence that many will still stay around. Thanks Vlodina. I have been considering trying the grp/private thing much closer in price, and not having audio in grp. I guess my worries about loosing group money shouldn't be factored in so highly, because as you said, multiple guys for long groups are few and far between. I think I should look at it the same way I treat guys who ask for anal. I don't offer it and no matter how much they pay me I'm just not interested. Some stick around still and some exit out. What are ya gonna do? Lol BritishB, that is so simple! I never thought about giving a brief reminder at the beginning of grp. Glad to hear it works out, and I will be implementing that tonight. LRRG, it's not so much that he is manipulating me. He's a great reg, and that one time I let it slide, but if he now continues this behavior, it wouldn't be good, and now I have to deal with an awkward situation if he tries it again. Thanks again everyone!!!!!


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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    Thanks CM Jess. I appreciate you taking the time to understand what I was getting at. I think you are correct that it will be well worth it in the long run.


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    Default Re: I've lost control of the asylum...help me take it back!!!

    You know...I just realized, I think a few of my sub regs who are really into the public humiliation/getting caught deal could be trying this on purpose because they want other guys to come in. Duh! I learn something new every day.


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