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Thread: Training Men

  1. #1
    Veteran Member StephanieXS's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Training Men

    Someone brought something like this up in the "STUPID annoying shit I've heard on cam" thread but I feel like it's a topic that could actually use a little bit more attention.

    Does anyone ever feel like they are doing women (and men) a disservice by pretending that we're getting off by shoving a 13" dildo in our ass or pretending to squirt or whatever else we're faking?
    I know it pays, and a lot of men prefer this fake stuff rather than what a real girl really getting herself off looks like but sometimes I almost feel guilty. I mean, the sheer number of men that I know/have met who believe that this stuff works because "I've seen it in porn" or have seen it with a webcam girl but claim "I know lots of girls that love it, you just haven't had someone that knows what they're doing yet." I'm just worried that we're setting up our friends and other women for horrible sexual experiences because the adult industry is training men SO wrong. My current boyfriends thoughts is "Most guys know that it's all fake, they're not dumb." But I feel like when it comes to women's sexuality men sometimes ARE kinda lost...

    Don't get me wrong, I love camming, I have a blast doing it and it's actually leading me to discover more about my sexuality. This is just something that's crossed my mind a lot for some time.

    Thoughts?

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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by StephanieXS View Post
    "I know lots of girls that love it, you just haven't had someone that knows what they're doing yet."
    ....."Most guys know that it's all fake, they're not dumb." But I feel like when it comes to women's sexuality men sometimes ARE kinda lost...
    For the first part that's like telling someone who's homosexual "You just haven't met the right man/woman yet". If you don't like something..you don't like it. and the majority of heterosexual/bisexual women that i personally know..do not like the majority of what guys think will get them off or what they watch in porn.

    As for the 2nd part..i have to respectfully disagree...yes, men really ARE that dumb and they really are lost. i can't tell you how many guys have been "Hey i like your clit rings!" .."Umm..my clit's up higher..these are INNER LABIA piercings." And they think that just pounding away feels SOOO good...umm...no.
    "I've seen whole armies turn and run away and he'd just swagger off back to his TARDIS and open the doors with a snap of his fingers. The Doctor in the TARDIS. Next stop, everywhere."

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    Default Re: Training Men

    I have to agree with Orchidina. MOST (not all but MOST) men, really are that daft. It is our fault up to a point-but it filters the wheat from the chaff and much as it is an issue, if men DIDN'T think like this, I wouldn't have a job. So I am grateful for it!
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    Default Re: Training Men

    I do what's needed to make it happen in addition to their instruction and I tell them what I'm doing...in a nice way letting them know that there is no way in hell I am ever going to orgasm the way they think I will.
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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by StephanieXS View Post
    a lot of men prefer this fake stuff rather than what a real girl really getting herself off looks like
    I don't find this to be true in my camming experience. Maybe I just don't attract the guys who love the "fake" girls though...? I think the more "fake" a girl LOOKS, the more she will attract these kids of customers. Does that make sense? If you look like a porn star who loves to take 3 dicks up her pussy and 2 in her ass while cumming 10 times because she just loooooooves it...... you might attract those kind of guys! LOL I look like the girl next door... so I tend to attract the guy next door who just wants to see a sexy girl be sexy and get off.

    Here's my take... these guys who want a girl to piss all over herself because they really buy that she just squirted 10 times in 2 minutes.... are fucking stupid. They aren't going to "get it" anyway with a real woman, so... why bother? lol

    Seriously. The guys who are into "fake" are not going to have their mind changed on what a real woman is like, let alone what a real woman wants, because they are too busy being preoccupied with themselves and their dicks. So might as well give them what they want and get paid for it....
    xoxo ~ Sarah





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    Default Re: Training Men

    I think everyone's made great, valid points here but the one thing I will say is that... This adult industry has been around for so long at this point, these men are WELL trained in their ways and who are we to say what should or shouldn't get them off? If they like the fake, hardcore stuff, that's just what they like.... Unfortunately, I think men have always been more "daft" lol... Good post to contemplate, though!

    xoxoxox


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    Default Re: Training Men

    ^^Agreeing with SarahTime and loveshooks^^
    A. You are not and should not be their official guide to sex or anything of the sort. The only pressure you have is pretending to be a timeless nympho who gets off on just the sound of their voice/look of their font/strange shadowy phallic resemblant thing you must proceed to then label a biggie, hardy, or what have you.
    On a sidenote, B. A lot of guys might just want to see things they wouldn't actually ever want to do. This may not be the majority but I know I love seeing ABC occasionally, but honestly would only ask for 123 irl. Neither of those was referring to my slight Jackson 5 obsession, btw. >_>
    Good luck!
    If I wanted you, I could have you.

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    Default Re: Training Men

    Anyone who looks to porn to be trained in real sex is simply an idiot.
    That's like watching an action movie and then acting like you actually can jump off buildings and run out of explosions unscathed in reality.

    Porn should NOT be confused with reality.

    And we're all - men and women alike - responsible for our own sexual knowledge, and informing our partners what feels good to us.
    What feels awesome for one woman or man, will not necessarily feel great to another woman or man.

    Yes, in reality there really do exist women or men who "like it rough", to any spectrum of degrees. Anything you can think of: there are people who like it. As long as no one gets hurt and it's all consensual, it's fine.

    When it comes to relationships, I kinda feel so many people assume things, or are just plain embarrassed to ask because they are so keen on impressing their partner by pretending like they're Masters or Mistresses of Sex and just automatically know... Yeah, that's pretty rare.

    Men are stereotyped as being dumb; women are stereotyped as being difficult to please and prone to whining. If a woman is in a relationship with a guy who doesn't treat her how she wants in bed, then it's her responsibility to educate him as to how best to fulfill her needs, rather than expect him to be mind-reader.




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    Default Re: Training Men

    If I only did shows that supported what I was "really" like in bed, I would be flat broke!! And essentially, as I can only speak for myself in terms of what "a woman wants", that would be the only way to ensure that I wasn't training a man to do the "wrong" thing.

    To make matters more confusing, I don't even like the same things all the time! In actual fact, there are times that I DO want my pussy pounded frantically!! There are also times that I don't. There are times that I am in a kinkier mood, and times that I want some good ol' fashioned vanilla. If I REALLY wanted to help train men to what a woman wants, I would not only just be doing shows that were pleasurable for me, I would be doing the shows that I felt like doing at any given time, and telling guys that "Nope, I did that yesterday, but I'm not in the mood today.."

    And all that ^^ adds up to is really bad customer service!! Guys come to us to get AWAY from trying to please someone else, to be able to be horribly selfish sexually, to get their rocks off however they want to. And really, I think that they should have an outlet for that - I am happy to provide.

    Human sexuality is so complex that I really think that any man stupid enough to think "I saw this in porn, therefore all women must like it all the time" has got too many problems for us to train them out of him! And it could be said that we are training men to believe that we can orgasm a lot more easily if we have been playing with ourselves for hours already - very true!! LOL

    Two other little points that don't really fit into the main narrative...

    1. I actually disagree that "you haven't found someone to do it right yet" is always wrong. Lets face it, some people just don't mesh with you well, and you may find that one person doing something feels awful, and the next person feels GREAT! It's not a matter of there being one "right" way to do it, but it definitely can change from person to person. Anal is a great example - I have been with guys that just couldn't seem to do it without making me scream and having to peel me off the ceiling afterward, but then I have been with a couple rarities that can fuck it just like a pussy and it feels fan-fucking-tastic...

    2. I actually met a guy who got ALL of his sex tips from porn. To the point that he was constantly angling his body and moving his hands in the same way, not realising that porn stars do that for lighting and angles, NOT for pleasure...doh!
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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    2. I actually met a guy who got ALL of his sex tips from porn. To the point that he was constantly angling his body and moving his hands in the same way, not realising that porn stars do that for lighting and angles, NOT for pleasure...doh!
    I'm just curious but, was that the most awkward sex of your life?

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    Default Re: Training Men

    Are we training men to believe that women should always be happily bringing them food when they go to a resturant and have a female waitress?

    We are not responsible for the men that are too dumb to discuss with their partners what the women actually likes and just makes assumptions.

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    Default Re: Training Men

    Bear in mind - sometimes people watch things because they just get off on it, not because they think youre orgasming or even personally enjoying it, exactly. Masturbation is a very solitary experience, even with an interactive component. Now you have a made-to-order person acting out whatever you can think of (within limits) and behave as if it is hot as hell - ideally in ways that are not found in readily available porn... so why not ask for whatever gets you hot? I mean, I get it.

    I personally wouldnt want to be educated about a real orgasm if I just want to watch penetration happen. Ideally make it seem like you enjoy it so it isnt boring to watch? I dont think that is dishonest.

    But I cant undo someone's social experiences and mindsets in a few(or more) sessions. Guys who sit and are interested or want to know details or just chat about ways to get women off are fun and their questions are exciting: but to the rest Im there to deliver a service with some shades of my personality injected, so if youre not inquisitive or thoughtful or even give a shit, that's fine? I cant make you nor am I that invested. Nina Hartley or some other genius sexual revolutionary would be a better decision if that's what you need but youre paying for my complacency fog so, on with the show!


    Also: Porno style sex is also a lot of fun and can be orgasmic as well - some ppl love to lay out the tarp and piss with a few cucumbers up their ass when theyre having sex. Women very much so as well. I mean, we dont have to set up a "real" and "fake" sexual experiences dichotomy here, where the "fake" is inherently bad.





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    So how many stumps can you fit in your pussy?

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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by StephanieXS View Post
    I'm just curious but, was that the most awkward sex of your life?
    Luckily, it wasn't me on the receiving end!! But yes, he actually really screwed himself - no one wanted to sleep with him again, and he got a bit of a reputation as "Mr Porn Star"....almost felt bad for the guy!!
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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Incantatious View Post
    Anyone who looks to porn to be trained in real sex is simply an idiot.
    That's like watching an action movie and then acting like you actually can jump off buildings and run out of explosions unscathed in reality.

    Porn should NOT be confused with reality.
    I love this. Totally 110% true!!!!
    xoxo ~ Sarah




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    Default Re: Training Men

    As for me, I'm kinda doing it both ways... On one hand, I try not to fake anything and also correct my custies when I see them to be clueless about a NORMAL woman's anatomy and physiology. I don't do most of the things one would normally see in porn (anal, DP, huge dicks/toys and so on). But, on the other hand, there are some fetishes I love sharing on cam, and some of them are rather extreme, i.e. I do things most women wouldn't normally do. But, again, I'm not up for ANYTHING, and I prefer that my cam partners are aware about my taboos and respect them (by the way - if you get a custie see you do extreme stuff but claim you vanilla because you don't want a hairdryer up your ass ((c) ManyRoses), you can be pretty sure he is not a BDSM person but just another entitled manipulative prick). I'd better not do things that don't feel good for me, because, if the guy who asks for them becomes my regular, I will have to do them over and over again. Yes, I do drip hot wax on my nipples and clit and stick needles into myself - but I'd never try to talk my guys into trying it with their girlfriends. I admit 4 fingers into pussy can feel good for someone, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work with me - and I think it's ok to tell them about it. This body has been with me for almost 30 years and it gives me the right to judge what is good or bad for it, as well as to tell my partners-to-be about it.

    My pet peeve is "mmm, is that pussy nice and creamy?" Jeez, guys, since when having yeast infection is sexy?
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    Default Re: Training Men

    ^^^ Tangent! Be careful with piercing play - it is technically against the rules. Although they don't usually bleed, even the smallest drop of blood puts you in direct violation of SM rules.

    Just something to consider when you are doing shows! If you are reported, you could be banned or suspended for it.

    (Shame - because I would LOVE to be able to do random gold shows where I tattoo myself naked, or do piercing play, seeing as I am actually a body piercer and have a full set up at home!!)
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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post
    My pet peeve is "mmm, is that pussy nice and creamy?" Jeez, guys, since when having yeast infection is sexy?
    Haha! Reminds me of the guy who asked me "do you cum white bb?" um.... I SURE HOPE NOT!! XD

    And good heavens, if I "did", that wouldn't be a sign of any arousal - it'd be the vaginal discharge (old cells and mucus! YUM!) that occurs when the vagina cleans itself. :| That, or some discharge can also be a sign of an infection.

    But yeah.. I spunk white just like you bb!! Wanna see?? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm




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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    ^^^ Tangent! Be careful with piercing play - it is technically against the rules. Although they don't usually bleed, even the smallest drop of blood puts you in direct violation of SM rules.

    Just something to consider when you are doing shows! If you are reported, you could be banned or suspended for it.

    (Shame - because I would LOVE to be able to do random gold shows where I tattoo myself naked, or do piercing play, seeing as I am actually a body piercer and have a full set up at home!!)
    Acupuncture needles are good - they have no cutting edge so they cause no bleeding (at least, with me) - and they look really good.

    Toilet shows and fisting are against the rules, as well - but ppl would do it, nevertheless =\
    Quote Originally Posted by MissJu View Post
    On cam, you can be unwashed, stinky but with makeup. And guys probably think you smell like roses.

    .

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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post
    Acupuncture needles are good - they have no cutting edge so they cause no bleeding (at least, with me) - and they look really good.

    Toilet shows and fisting are against the rules, as well - but ppl would do it, nevertheless =\
    I know - people break the rules all the time!! Hmm..where do you get acupuncture needles? I get everything from body mod supply companies, and even 18g needles tend to create a teeny drop of blood from time to time...
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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    Hmm..where do you get acupuncture needles? I get everything from body mod supply companies, and even 18g needles tend to create a teeny drop of blood from time to time...
    Mail-ordered mine from a med supply store. Guess bleeding is an usual thing with all sorts of cannula needles, because they have a sharp edge that cuts through tissues (of all injuries, cuts bleed the most). Sorry for thread-jacking again(((
    Quote Originally Posted by MissJu View Post
    On cam, you can be unwashed, stinky but with makeup. And guys probably think you smell like roses.

    .

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    Default Re: Training Men

    ^^^ Correct! That is a GREAT idea - thank you for giving it to me, bb!!
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    Default Re: Training Men

    Enjoy)
    Quote Originally Posted by MissJu View Post
    On cam, you can be unwashed, stinky but with makeup. And guys probably think you smell like roses.

    .

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    Default Re: Training Men

    :< re: creamy pussy: I have one! All my cream is thick (THICK THICK) and white and plentiful. Even to the point where my doctor asked me to get it checked out! But it turns out that's just the way I am.

    you guys are gonna give me a complex

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  41. #24
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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by housewench View Post
    :< re: creamy pussy: I have one! All my cream is thick (THICK THICK) and white and plentiful. Even to the point where my doctor asked me to get it checked out! But it turns out that's just the way I am.

    you guys are gonna give me a complex
    No complex bb!! I actually DO cum white as well. I'm sure that everyone is different - we womenfolk are such fascinating creatures!!
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    Default Re: Training Men

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    No complex bb!! I actually DO cum white as well. I'm sure that everyone is different - we womenfolk are such fascinating creatures!!
    I was actually thinking the same thing when I read that! I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, but my cum has always been like that. I thought clear was only when girls pissed themselves to fake it...

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