Soooo.
I'm glad that I'm the type of person to be able to laugh at myself. And laugh a lot.
I was hired at a club here in LA recently, but the money has been kind of slow the last two weeks I've worked, and not just for me-- so I was exploring my options. I saw that one of the many clubs in town was spamming up Craigslist with the typical "we need hot dancers!" stuff. So I figured I'd check it out.
Got there, was shown to the dressing room. The girls were super nice, but that room is busted as hell. When a girl walks in or out you can see right in from the floor :-/. So I'm in the corner trying not to put on a show as girls wander in and out. Finally I'm ready, go talk to the DJ, blah blah. They announce that it's an audition and suddenly I'm piss-my-pants forget everything I know about dancing terrified. I go up and that all sort of melts away. I'm doing my thang, people at the rail are tipping. And then I try to get all fancy on them because I went up after this GORGEOUS booty popper and I felt less than fabulous. I go to do a pole trick and realize the pole is set to spin. Okay no big. I go to the other pole assuming it's set to static as that's how some stages are set up.
Wrong.
I invert, and don't realize that that fucker is set to spin until my feet are already up. I have noooo experience with spinning poles, so I'm like OMGAHHHHH WTF HELP essentially, and nearly end up busting my ass. I manage to get down without looking too stupid, but now I'm self conscious, having to take my panties off, and scared I'm gonna fall on my face. The rest of the audition was crap, I was shaking so hard for the next song and a half. I then tried to walk off stage without my money and had a customer yell at me "don't forget your cash sweetheart!!!"
But. I got 35 dollars in pity money from four tippers at the rail, haha. 35 bucks for two songs on stage? I'll take it, especially when they're in the middle of a "ten dollar dance" special. Didn't get hired, but I probably at least gave the other girls a good chuckle. I might go back in a few weeks when they've forgotten me and try again.
Anyone else have any audition horror stories you'd care to share?



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