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Thread: Power Postures!

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Power Postures!



    Synopsis: Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how "power posing" -- standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don't feel confident -- can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.

    I watched this TED talk recently and started applying her advice on power postures in the club. (Side note: She shows images of people sitting with their feet on a desk/table. This is not one of the postures I suggest applying. )

    The night that I actually watched the talk, I had a pretty good night. My favorite is the "wonder woman" pose when approaching a big group of guys, and standing that way for just a minute or so before sitting down with them. Every time I did it, all eyes were on me, and I got dances with someone from the group each time.

    It's pretty long, and kind of a tear-jerker at the end, but I think some of the stuff in it is pretty valuable, even if it is a little bit common-sense-y. It's always nice to have a reminder that CONFIDENCE is the best asset we can have in our hustle bank! Plus I'm a TED Talk whore. I eat this shit up.


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    Veteran Member AriahsPariah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    I've always stood by the saying "Fake it til you make it,." But then again, I rarely practice what I preach. "Fake it til I become it" will be my new years resolution.

    Thank you so much for sharing
    "Do what thou wilt..."-Crowley

    http://exoticallyneurotic.blogspot.com/

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    Member FemmeNikita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    This is exactly what i needed to watch right now! Thanks so much. I LOVE TEDtalks!

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    hmmmmn
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    You're welcome! I love the idea of "Fake it until you become it," not even so far as stripping goes but in other areas of my life as well. I think this posture stuff is best for when you're having approach anxiety (which I usually get with large groups, if I'm not teaming up with someone). Glad you girls liked it!

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    Senior Member janesays22's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    This is great!! (also love ted talks) im usually pretty good being confident & assertive, but this made me really curious, when I getinto a slump on a slow night or from dealing with assholes it takes me awhile to get back in a decent stride. Im gonna try some of these suggestions out!!

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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    This was so inspirational just because of the general advice at the end. It did make me cry though because i realized that's exactly how I've been feeling about everything, like I don't belong here at this point in my life. It felt like she was saying that just because I needed to hear it. But really everyone feels that way sometimes, so it's great advice anyone could use sooner or later.

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Oh I love this wanna look for more of this stuff.
    xoxo

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Ok was having a shitty day shift then I went to the toilet and did the positions then my day inproved 100%.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Really needed to see this. I had people wanting dances from me today BECAUSE of my LITTLE boobs. Really?!?!?!?! I ALWAYS get picked over bigger tit girls (and I'm friends with the biggest one!! Hustleing with her doesn't always work lol).

    I had my wisdom teeth removed and for had some jow put on my lower back to finally release the pain I've had cramped for years. I went to work - and I slowed down, and had confidence while on stage even.

    I DO need to change this - I was a ballerina for 19 years (I'm 23!) - I ALWAYS have shown confidence on THAT stage. Why can't I transfer THAT to THIS stage and on the floor?

    I'm afraid of change - but those "tiny tweaks" ... may be the way (I tend to make big changes on myself at times...)

    Like AriahsPariah said new years resolution. (I'm currently trying to conquer my borderline hoarding - purging "stuff").

    Amazing. I think THIS should be apart of my DAILY routine - not even my work routine... Thank you. Everyone needs a pick me up. (I do actually do the wonder woman pose at times while looking around work for my next hunt, wonder if it's a turn ON or off, maybe I should wear the costume with it lol)

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    Featured Member kikiwiki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    I say make this a sticky!!! GREAT POST! Thanks!!!
    "Where there is love there is life"-Mahatma Gandhi

    "Be The Best, F!ck The Rest"- P.P.


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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    A few nights ago there was a new-ish dancer near tears in the dressing room because she wasn't making any money and the night was almost over. I stood with her in front of the mirror and told her to do the wonder woman pose with me... In a minute, she was laughing and ready to go back out, but I'm not sure if that's because it really worked or because she thought I was fucking nuts. Not sure how much she made after, but I got an extra $60 in the last 20 minutes of the night! Woo!

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Thanks so much, this's great!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Senior Member cortana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Great video, I love TED Talks! This makes me think of my body language while I'm sitting with a customer, or even sitting/standing alone. Some of these positions would look out of place, but maybe walking through the club sort of like a model on a runways? That seems to be a moving power position.

    I'm just not sure of what would be a good position for sitting with custies...how to look confident and sexy, but not weird?

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Quote Originally Posted by cortana View Post
    Great video, I love TED Talks! This makes me think of my body language while I'm sitting with a customer, or even sitting/standing alone. Some of these positions would look out of place, but maybe walking through the club sort of like a model on a runways? That seems to be a moving power position.

    I'm just not sure of what would be a good position for sitting with custies...how to look confident and sexy, but not weird?
    A lot of what I took from this video was how the postures affect you internally whilst in front of a mirror, rather than what they look like to the people around you. (although the wonder woman is still a fav of mine!)

    When I walk through the club, I usually walk very slowly with all of my motion in my hips and very little in my shoulders. I think the runway model walk would look a little out of place... It's very aggressive!

    When I sit with customers, if I'm not sitting on their laps, I usually am leaning towards them a little bit, with my back straight, legs uncrossed but together, and arms in an open position (on the arm chair, holding my drink, etc). I think the most important thing is just not to look "closed off" or guarded... And it usually helps if they have a full view of my body. There's this one girl at my club that does the whole "crouch" by someone's chair thing, and she'll hang out that way for the whole conversation! I find it so strange! Like even if there are three open seats by the guy, she'll still crouch by his chair... So odd.

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    Senior Member cortana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Ah, that makes sense to me now, doing it in the mirror and as a warmup. I used to do the whole crouch by the chair thing, not for a WHOLE conversation...but even in my daily life I have bad, low-power poses. I'm definitely gonna start doing the Wonder Woman pose in the mornings. One of my goals for this year is to be more confident in myself, this will help!

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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Thankyou for sharing this! I 'Wonder Woman' all over my club and rarely sit down or close myself off and girls make comments to me lightly 'ohh look at you, on the prowl again, I love it!' or to the new girls 'trust me, she will never stop moving or sit'... there is definitely a strong presence and ambiance that exudes from power stances (and the mentality behind it), but in my experiences and tailoring this method to be used inside a strip club; the man is generally or should be, lower then you at nearly all times, this already gives you power, their seat is lower, your heels are higher- this isn't coincidence- but after years of body language inside the club 'studying' on my behalf- power stancing and being strong and confident can ofcourse turn off some patrons, looking for a less intimidating approach to feed their egos, but fuck them, i'm walking away from them, because I am not acting meek/shy/weak just for them and their money! Most of the time the effect it gives you is a 'pull' making you in a way, irresistible to people but they just don't know why! In the club is a combination of knowledge of both your own and the customers body language, perfect the two until you can mimic and read without thinking about it and ta-da- Power Hustler! <3 Excellent video!

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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Ive been doing the wonder woman pose EVERYTIME with groups and awkward as it feel it works! Infact I never ask for a dance, as soon Im about to walk away one of the guys runs after me or asks for dance

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    This is AWESOME! Thank you so much for sharing it. At my (corporate, day) job, I constantly find myself using the opposite of power postures just because I find them more comfortable. I often am touching my neck, slouching mildly, etc. I've started to consciously change this - and it works for boosting confidence! Especially when I'm leading meetings and whatnot.

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    Senior Member Money_Worshipper's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    i did this last night and i got more confident in approaching large groups! the way they look at me when i put one of my hands on my hip, i tend to have all of their eyes on me and checking me out. i feel more confident and when i find myself slouching since there is not much business in the club after xmas, i tend to be more positive and i do feel like my energy is going up and feeling more powerful. this is a big help. thanks OP!
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

    "Everyone wants happiness. Nobody wants pain. But you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I often am touching my neck, slouching mildly, etc.
    ^I didn't really notice this about myself until after watching this video, too! I was ALWAYS touching my neck in the club. I had no idea how uncomfortable I must have looked. I'm glad I was able to catch myself and stop doing it.

    It makes me happy that so many people are finding this video helpful! Woo!

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    Veteran Member RaineyLane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    I have used variations of these postures while camming and no joke, wonder woman gets me into private! Thanks for posting this!

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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    Wow this sooo works! I wish I had known about this years ago. I tried it once and it worked! I beat my personal record for champagne rooms. I even had one of them tell me how much he loved my confidence. That's freaking crazy!! Brb counting my money 5 more times unreal!!!

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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    20 mins.. lawd just show me the power poses, ain't nobody got time for that.
    xoxo rox$ie

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  38. #25
    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Power Postures!

    The poses aren't the entire point -- it's also about building and showing confidence in situations that you may not feel confident in (ie: stripping, or for her, at her university). If you don't have an interest in TED talks, don't watch.
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris

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