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Thread: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

  1. #1
    Senior Member janesays22's Avatar
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    Default Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    The club has been slowish recently, it has been picking up a bit, but only to the point where I am grateful if I make my low/average. Ive been dancing 2 years, the first yr & 1/2 it all seemed like gravy, id usually have a pretty good time working and spent a good deal of it on traveling adventures. Now im in a serious long term relationship & really goal oriented (setting myself quotas & saving it all to buy a house) ive noticed that recently when I start calculating my earnings earlyish in the night I start getting pissed.
    Im a natural extrovert in a tourist town, generally I feel confident & good as an entertainer. Recently though ive found myself sitting with guys for 10 minutes, them leading me on, us generally having a good time & getting into the groove- then they dont want a dance (or later!) & when I get up to move on & ask for a tip them throwing me $3! This hapened to me for like 3 hours last night, until I looked out in the club & realized id already talked to everyone! This makes me feel so pissed for myself (& other dancers) like were providing them all this entertainment for nothing! My problem is once I get pissed its hard to calm down & get back in the mode. I actually tried to sit with a cheap regular & drink a beer to unwinde, when I went ovet he said I had to make his friends horny first, fir a beer! Needless to say I went over & bought my own.
    Clearly beer is not a good option. A few deep breaths only helped so much. So what do you all do in these moments of frustration?
    (I threw in the backstory at the top cause I thought that might be related-is 2 years typical forburn out? Is it because ive started setting myself quotas? Should I not count my $ in the begininf of the night, or maybe just go in later when theyre drunk enough to actually spend?)
    Generally-how do you cope with frustration while you are at work, and how do you spring back from it?

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    i never ever count my money until the end of the night ( they say its bad luck and I'm a tad superstitious lol ) but it also keeps me from getting pissed or discouraged. if you seem really intense or like you NEED dances it can turn guys off. i just take a deep breath and think i can always walk in tomorrow .. try to keep it light and fun! when i get frustrated i go out back to eat or smoke or call a friend and then think of something that makes me or would make me insanely happy (sometimes i just picture having all the money i need already in my pocket, all the men in the room already love me, and i just want to mingle and have fun) , it usually puts a smile on my face chills me out a lot and the guys sense it and money starts coming in. i've reached the 2 year burnout mark too and I'm saving for a break cuz you can't really earn the money you should when you're just tired and sick of it all !

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    Veteran Member Seatortuga's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    The good news is that you grasp that stripping is never to be taken too seriously. That is wonderful that you are setting those goals, but we are in the business of relaxation and entertainment and too maximize your earnings you have to have the quasi carefree persona. Never count your money until the day is over! Have fun and the money comes next, sounds like it was just one of those "not your day" kinda days and those will come, don't get discouraged

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i never ever count my money until the end of the night ( they say its bad luck and I'm a tad superstitious lol ) but it also keeps me from getting pissed or discouraged. if you seem really intense or like you NEED dances it can turn guys off.
    +1. Especially if you're working night shifts until closing, the bulk of your money is probably coming in the last couple hours when the club is open, so it can be easy to get discouraged early on if you haven't made much yet, which definitely gives you an air of desperation that guys can detect. Don't worry about how much you've made until the end of the night, and try to stay positive. Take a break if you find yourself getting worried, have a snack in the DR, read a magazine, chat with a friend, or just do something to get yourself in a different frame of mind - then hit the floor again.

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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    agreed that you shouldn't count your money until the end. i always make a lot more money when i'm not as worried about it or desperate for it

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    Featured Member goreantx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    Maybe have some motivational stuff on your ipod or whatever and after you've done everyone in the club you can listen to a track of that before going back out there
    Yes, I'm real.

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  10. #7
    Senior Member janesays22's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    I dont think im giving off desperate as much as angry/resentful. Thanks you guys for insight & sound advice. Maybe I shoulda just put in a few more minutes with a few guys. Sometimes it just feels like, "alright, its 15 minutes later.." I know the guts are havin a good time, jokin & havin fun, but then I start thinkin "im not being compensated for this" to customer credit, one did give me $20 tip which I think is reasonable. its when it goes on for more than an hr with $3 tips that I start loosing my stride. My club doesnt do floor dances, semi-privates start at $40, theyre on vacation & partying. Kind of wish my club did do floor dances, would be such an easy sale.
    not counting till end of the night is smart. IPod is good idea too. Just need something as a quick refresher to get my mojo workin again & jump back in the crowd without expressing my hostility.

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    Senior Member janesays22's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    I dont think im giving off desperate as much as angry/resentful. Thanks you guys for insight & sound advice. Maybe I shoulda just put in a few more minutes with a few guys. Sometimes it just feels like, "alright, its 15 minutes later.." I know the guts are havin a good time, jokin & havin fun, but then I start thinkin "im not being compensated for this" to customer credit, one did give me $20 tip which I think is reasonable. its when it goes on for more than an hr with $3 tips that I start loosing my stride. My club doesnt do floor dances, semi-privates start at $40, theyre on vacation & partying. Kind of wish my club did do floor dances, would be such an easy sale.
    not counting till end of the night is smart. IPod is good idea too. Just need something as a quick refresher to get my mojo workin again & jump back in the crowd without expressing my hostility.

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    Featured Member goreantx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    Did you do strip and grow rich? It sounds like you aren't sure of where you are in the sales process with your customers. It helps when you know how close you are to a sale/what size to expect/if there is a sale there at all. You shouldn't have to talk to a guy for fifteen minutes hoping to have a sale at the end of it, that would drive me crazy too.
    Yes, I'm real.

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    Featured Member goreantx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    Just to let you know how awesome strip and grow rich was for me, the first night back at the club with my training from it... I recognized a big spender, had the confidence to go over to him with the exact right sales pitch, less than two songs later we were ordering a bottle. Without strip and grow rich I might have gone up to him, but would have been insecure, said totally the wrong thing, and been rejected. So... it's just awesome
    Yes, I'm real.

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting pissed and how to snap out of it (?)

    Quote Originally Posted by janesays22 View Post
    Maybe I shoulda just put in a few more minutes with a few guys. Sometimes it just feels like, "alright, its 15 minutes later.."

    its when it goes on for more than an hr with $3 tips that I start loosing my stride.
    Sounds like you're spending way too much time with customers before proposing dances. How long do other dancers sit around? As a general rule, you don't want to spend more than 2-3 songs with a customer without getting paid; otherwise, you're just sending the message that your time isn't worth paying for.

    And don't get so stuck on how "expensive" the dances are. $40 really isn't that much for a private dance. If you don't believe in the product, neither will the customers as that really comes across when you're trying to hustle.

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