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Thread: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

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    Default Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    I don't mean back-handed compliments- I think we can all recognize when a guy is just trying to tear you down a bit without being obvious about it. I guess what I mean to say is, do you ever have customers who say things that they think are compliments but are actually kind of insulting? If so, how do you handle it?

    I've pretty much come to embrace some of my physical attributes that I never would have embraced had it not been for camming. For example. if someone would have called me "thick" before entering this industry I probably would have cried ands starved myself for three days. Now I know and believe that curves are sexy so when someone calls me "thick" I am just like hell yeah I am thick! And we both love my curves I say this and I believe it.

    What about when you don't think something is sexy, but your viewer does? Perfect example, tonight I had someone come in my free chat and when I asked how he is he said he's great now that he sees my saggy titties, and how he missed them and they are so saggy and it turns him on. I instantly became self-conscious and uncomfortable, though I didn't let it show. I don't think saggy titties are sexy. I wish mine were perkier, but they aren't. And while I love my breasts, hearing them refered to that way just rubbed me the wrong way and made me feel a little ugly. I played it off and tried to redirect the conversation and encourage him to tip so we can get them out to play, but... It still kinda sucked.

    Am I just more sensitive than I thought, or do some of you also find yourself being insulted by well-meaning viewers? If so, how do you handle it?

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    Veteran Member funismymiddlename's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    This has happened a few times to me one time someone told me I'm pretty for my race wtf as to say girls in my race aren't attractive. I've had a guy tell me he likes my stretch marks in private and ask to see the closer he stared at them for a few min before we started playing. I never knew there was a stretch mark fetish I was thinking wtf but it's whatever he was spending and he really liked them.

    The best thing to do is be secure with your self like if someone calls you a name insults you whatever as long as you are truly happy with yourself it won't matter. No one is perfect and some guys just happen to be into imperfections. You have to have a really thick skin when it comes to camming or just not care what others say about you. For every imperfection you have there's prob one good thing to make up for it. Like the same ppl on mfc would come harass me about stretch marks and my weight (I was only 15 lbs overweight) but they never called me ugly because they can't. So their stupid comments never bothered me bc yes I knew I was out of shape but my face made up for it.

    By the way being called thick is a compliment in some cultures. I hear a lot of black and latino guys say oh she's thick thats like saying she's sexy. When I was super skinny people made fun of me said I look like a junky anorexic but I was just naturally thin I didn't hit puberty til I was like in my 20s. I wanted to be thick so bad. lol there are so many women out there getting ass implants trust me it's not meant to be rude.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    I hate it when a custie who's had a show with me shows up in free chat and starts bragging about it, telling IN DETAIL what my lady bits look like and what I did with them and how much he liked it. Good thing you want to let others know my shows are good, but would you be so kind not to give them an alternative to buying them?

    I also don't like it when they compliment me on my round butt. I know it looks good to them, but I like girls who look a bit boy-like, so I'm trying my best to to make my butt tinier)))
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    ^ That is so funny, I am actually trying to make my booty grow, I am self conscious because I think it is too small so I love it when guys say my butt is nice and round

    I mean, we are all going to be self-conscious about something, whether it is stretch marks or saggy titties or scars or our body type or accent- I think it's normal. They few things I perceive as being flaws I always try to minimize or completely hide on cam and I think I do a very good job of accenting the positives and the things that make me feel most beautiful. I guess that's why it weirds me out when guys want to focus on things that I perceive to be a flaws.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    This has happened a few times to me one time someone told me I'm pretty for my race wtf as to say girls in my race aren't attractive.
    Now that's just rude as hell. He must be a complete idiot to think that was a compliment.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    "You're sexy, for a cam girl"

    Oh, really jackass? Only by cam girl standards I'm sexy? What does that even mean anyway. Ugh. Except he actually said "your sexy for a cam girl" which tells me he's an idiot to begin with.

    I still get offended by "chubby". "I love how chubby you are". I mean... thick, juicy, curvy, round, whatever... but chubby?
    xoxo ~ Sarah




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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    The one I get constantly drives me nuts: "You're hot for your age" Ugh
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Being a Transsexual, I've heard all sort of things but I've learned words only have so much power as you give it. It's all in how you feel about yourself.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Yes, I have what you wouldn't call a designer vagina. And I always get "wow babe your pussy is so swollen you must be so horny".. and it isn't actually swollen, it's just always like that.. it's how I was born.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post
    I hate it when a custie who's had a show with me shows up in free chat and starts bragging about it, telling IN DETAIL what my lady bits look like and what I did with them and how much he liked it. Good thing you want to let others know my shows are good, but would you be so kind not to give them an alternative to buying them?

    I also don't like it when they compliment me on my round butt. I know it looks good to them, but I like girls who look a bit boy-like, so I'm trying my best to to make my butt tinier)))

    That kind of shit really annoys me too. I have a regular who, when he see's another customer ask in free chat "what are ur private shows" the said regular will type "hey mate pm me and I'll tell you"......I would say something but said regular is a good regular. but I have NEVER gotten a show off of his so call 'promoting of me'. Pfft.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    A guy (who was a regular MFC tipper) told me that he loved my saggy boobs. *rolls eyes*
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Quote Originally Posted by CourtneyRaine View Post
    What about when you don't think something is sexy, but your viewer does? Perfect example, tonight I had someone come in my free chat and when I asked how he is he said he's great now that he sees my saggy titties, and how he missed them and they are so saggy and it turns him on. I instantly became self-conscious and uncomfortable, though I didn't let it show. I don't think saggy titties are sexy. I wish mine were perkier, but they aren't.
    Oh my gosh, I so know you pain. I get the 'I love your saggy titties/let them hang' compliement all the time and I am SO self-concious about my breast. Whenever anyone says it to me, I always think to the jokes that people would make in my childhood about women whose breast hungdown to their knees and it ALWAYS makes me immiediately want to break out in tears. But, of course I can't do that since I am supposed to be a 'living goddess' so instead I just smile sexy and bite my lip hard to push back the emotional pain.

    And it is so HARD to tell if someone is actually using it as a compliment or if they are actually trying to subtly insult you because I get both types of guys. My trigger finger will always be over the ban button while I try to smile because I am never sure if the next thing they say will show that they geninuely mean it or if they are just a mean troll.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    When a guy in free chat goes on & on with compliments & how much he loves me but never tips me or takes me private. I feel insulted. I feel resentful that they want so much of my time & energy & give me nothing in return.

    Backhanded compliments are insults. Passive aggressive people annoy me.

    Fully admit, I am heavy handed with the kick & ban buttons. I am camming to make money, if they are not with the program then I dont have time for them. I can NOT let them keep me from my goals.

    Good Luck,
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    About the "saggy tits" comments just to put it in perspective for you ladies: I'm 23, no kids, A Cup boobs - that are the complete opposite of saggy, and even I hear that comment. Sometimes it's the bra or camera angle, and sometimes guys will type anything without even looking at you or ^just trying to troll^

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    When a guy in free chat goes on & on with compliments & how much he loves me but never tips me or takes me private. I feel insulted. I feel resentful that they want so much of my time & energy & give me nothing in return.

    Backhanded compliments are insults. Passive aggressive people annoy me.
    I feel the exact same way, that it is disrespectful for a guy to try to waste my time and energy day after day with no intention of compensating me for the attention and entertainment that I provide. I guess what I am getting at are the outright things that guys say. Backhanded compliments are different, and usually obvious. I mean the guys who point out what you perceive to be your shortcomings because they genuinely are turned on by them even though they make you really self-conscious.

    For example, most girls think having small feet is attractive and big feet are ugly. I wear a size 9 shoe so I have pretty big feet for a girl. When foot guys come in and tell me how my feet are so huge, most girls would take that as an insult but I honestly don't care because I know a) it turns them on and b) I don't give a damn about my feet

    There is a model on SM who advertises in her profile that she has saggy titties. She totally owns it. One day when I was camming on there a custie came in my room and asked if I have saggy titties. I said no (I don't think I do!) but I directed him to her and said she might be able to give him what he's looking for. A little while later the same guy came back in my free chat and tipped me a few gold for helping him and being sweet about it. So honestly I do know that there really are guys out there who love the things we feel crappy about.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Backhanded compliments are insults. Passive aggressive people annoy me.

    Fully admit, I am heavy handed with the kick & ban buttons. I am camming to make money, if they are not with the program then I dont have time for them. I can NOT let them keep me from my goals.
    And this is why I admire the heck out of you Sam. You are one of my camgirl idols because of this.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    And this is why I admire the heck out of you Sam. You are one of my camgirl idols because of this.

    ^^Ditto
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    CourtneyRaine ! So the fuck what if you have 'saggy tits'? There are plenty of men out there who love saggy tits, silicone tits and chicks with dick! Whatever it is, own it

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    I get called a barbie a lot, which annoys me more than anyone can imagine because I feel like I look nothing like one in real life. Its just the hair, makeup, push up bra, and voice on cam that makes me sound that way. But barbie will always sell, so I guess I shouldn't complain.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Honestly, after the amount of time I have been in the industry, pretty much everything rolls off my back.

    I'm sure that if there was something that I was naturally uncomfortable about, I would be bothered if someone mentioned it, but I actually don't have too many insecurities - yay! I definitely think that I am a little big, but I have long ago accepted and embraced that I am seen as "bigger" in strip clubs (at 120lbs...sheesh!) and that on cam, guys love it. Whenever a guy is "complimenting" me on being a "real girl" or "thick" or any of those other horrific quasi-compliments, I remind myself that in this industry, you have to have a weight in the double digits to be thought of as "thin". SO that is never going to happen.....so I'll just flip it around, and do a bunch of work to promote my "whooty" (white girl booty, for anyone unaware!). Screw it. Money.

    I do occasionally get frustrated with the "you are so beautiful, why did you have to RUIN it with tattoos?". Gee whiz, thanks for calling me ruined, you little shit. It's not something that I am insecure about (obviously) it is more insulting because it is just such a common thing for narrow-minded idiots to say, and being in the industry, I am a little sensitive about the social perception of heavily tattooed women. But that is more annoyed than insulted...

    As a general rule, when someone tries to insult me, or complinsults me, I try to remind myself of the last time that someone said the exact opposite. So when someone says "I love your tiny tits!" and it makes me a little sad, because I wish they were bigger, then I will remind myself of the last time that someone said "gorgeous big tits!" or "thats just the perfect size". If someone says "Ugh, you are so pasty" I think about the day before, when someone raved about my "porcelain skin". Because lets face it, I doubt that any camgirl has any feature or body part that someone hasn't genuinely complimented at some point!
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  37. #21
    God/dess CourtneyRaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    That is a good strategy, ManyRoses.You always have the sagest advice I will try to think of all of the compliments I have received on the things I think of as flaws. Actually my self-esteem used to be in the crapper before camming and I'm mostly confident now when it comes to my appearance. It's just those couple of little things that still sting and bring up old insecurities, I guess.

    And I've also had the tattoo comments... Lol.... Like come on guys, why do you say these things? Thanks for thinking I'd be beautiful without all the tattoos? I don't have any on my booty or cooter so... ya still want that private bb???? Or am I eternally ruined for you?

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    Quote Originally Posted by CourtneyRaine View Post

    And I've also had the tattoo comments... Lol.... Like come on guys, why do you say these things? Thanks for thinking I'd be beautiful without all the tattoos? I don't have any on my booty or cooter so... ya still want that private bb???? Or am I eternally ruined for you?
    Seriously. I mean, I am pretty heavily tattooed....but I am also advertised as heavily tattooed. ALL of my taglines, profiles, etc say "sexy TATTOOED redhead". All of them. And you can see it in all my profile pics - I have a full sleeve for christ's sake! SO why come in to the room in the first place if you think that tattoos have ruined me?

    What, do you think you can convince me, and I'll just...take them off? Um....you do understand what a tattoo IS, correct? It's not like I'm wearing knee high socks - can't just take em off and change in pvt.

    And people only say it about tattoos and piercings. Yes, I understand that I CHOSE to do this, and to look like this....but substitute any other body part or feature, and suddenly it sounds so much more insulting, and far fewer people do it. "You are so beautiful except for your nose, bb". Well fuck you.
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

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    Last edited by Rosemary Rabbit; 07-10-2017 at 12:38 PM.

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    I have done some g/g shows and the guys tend to be more vocal about what they "like"
    So one thing that bugs me is when they go "I like this girl".
    That just gets the room riled up with guys going well I like that girl.
    It sets off a train reaction and they think they are complimenting the girl that they "like", but they are pretty much telling the room they think the other female is unattractive.
    It's more annoying than insulting(to me), because honestly I don't care which "girl" they "like", I just care about getting paid. lol

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel insulted by compliments?

    "mmm I love your pussy, its so huge"

    WHAT I didn't realize my pussy was huge, I don't want a huge pussy!

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