Hi Ladies,
I'm a long-time reader and first-time poster. I'm sorry if this isn't the appropriate section to be posting this in.
I was wondering if maybe you could offer me some advice.
Some background: I used to work at a big, high-end SC as a cocktail waitress for a couple of years. I've also danced a handful of times at different places. Anyway, after being out of the industry for a few months I recently decided that I missed "strip club money," and ended up getting a job at a smaller club (as a waitress) just over a couple weeks ago. This club is a lot different than my old one, in that most of the girls make their money off of regulars, and this goes for both the dancers and bar staff. We're encouraged to sit and drink/chat with customers, whereas you could get fired for sitting with customers or drinking on the job at the place I worked before. It's quite a big change, and it's forced me to start learning how to hustle guys.
On my second shift I met a customer who I'll call "Frank." He really seemed to like me, bought lots of drinks from me and tipped really well. I saw potential in him to be my first "regular," so the next time he came in I made sure to make a big fuss over him. He ended up giving me his number. I would have never done this at my old club, but I decided to contact him because this is what I see the girls I work with doing, and getting their regulars in is what saves them on slow nights. We texted a bit, I let him know my schedule, and when I came in for my next shift he was there waiting for me, and he had presents! Everything seemed to be going fine until Friday.
I'm more of a text message girl and I hardly check my voicemail. On Friday I checked it and there were six voicemails from Frank, and they each ended with "I love you." That obviously freaked me out, so when he showed up at my work that night I spent a lot less time with him, and I was borderline cold with him. A dancer I am friendly with was sitting with him for quite a while. She later pulled me in to the changeroom to tell me Frank was obsessing over me, saying things like he hadn't felt this way about anyone since his divorce, etc. Crazy stuff.
Before my shift yesterday (Saturday) I sent him some texts to try and sort the situation out. I've been making good money off of him, and I don't want to lose him as a customer. He comes in now specifically to see me, and if he shows up and I'm not there he leaves. I told him that I think he's a really nice person, and I very much appreciate his generosity, but I don't want to lead him on or have him be confused. I told him it wasn't appropriate to say "I love you," and I found that to be kind of scary. I told him that I wasn't interested in dating him, or having any type of relationship with him outside of the club. He didn't answer me and showed up to the club again last night. He seemed to be more toned down with me, said he had received my texts and he understood. HOWEVER, I then had different dancers telling me about the creepy things he was saying about me when I wasn't there. When I left to go home he was waiting around outside smoking. I pretended that I didn't see him and quickly grabbed a cab.
This morning I saw he had called twice at around 6 a.m. In the messages he left he is CRYING and telling me is is "going up the wall" and for me to please call him. AND he ends these voicemails with "I LOVE YOU."
I feel like I'm over my head and I'm totally freaked out. I also feel badly for the guy. What am I doing wrong? What should I do about him? How do I prevent this happening with other "regulars" in future?
Thank you in advance for anyone who replies.



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