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Thread: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

  1. #1
    Member kaleycakes's Avatar
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    Tired Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    I am in recovery from drug addiction; more specifically heroin. I danced for 3 and a half years, two of which I was on H and three I was on Xanax. In October I left the industry and went to rehab, vowing to hang up my heels for good and get a vanilla job. I put all my stuff in storage and successfully completed treatment. Since I got out I've been crashing at my mom's place, looking for work that requires me to keep my clothes ON. She is mentally ill and unmedicated. She really gets under my skin and I remember why I left as soon as I turned 18 to begin with. Also, I live in Chicago which has THE WORST winters- I very much suffer from depression which worsens greatly in the winter months. I'm trying NA and have found a group I really like. A friend offered me a place to stay and place to work (stripping) in Phoenix, Arizona. I already checked, there are NA meetings there. I have exactly enough money for a greyhound bus ticket as well as a "sugar daddy" type-of-guy who is willing to help. Recently gave up on my relationship with Boyfriend- it was and is so damaged by my drug using that I'm embarrassed to try to continue making it work. I loved him dearly and still do... I don't really know what I am looking for here by posting about this. Not advice on what to do, because I already know I'm going... I do not plan to live out the rest of my life in Illinois or any of the surrounding states. I guess maybe tips on how to go about this? How do I break this news to my cazy momma- she still doesn't know of my plans and I plan to leave between the 7th and 10th of January. I can't afford to take most of my belongings that aren't in storage with me right away, and I don't want her to go nuts and throw them out or sell them or something. I've legitimately looked for vanilla work, there is nobody who wants to hire me with such a gap in my employment history (almost 4 years of "joblessness"?) and/or lack of resmue. So my plan is to relocate; I eventually want to go to Portland, OR and this just seems like a step in the right direction. Yes I would like to have a little more education under my belt, but not only can I not afford it (and no way I could on a minimum-wage income even if I were to manage landing a job), but I can't live in a house with a person that drives me nuts. In the cold. Did I mention I don't have any friends? I'm making some through NA, and my sponsor frowns on me for making this decision, but I disagree. The sole purpose of me dancing from here on out will be to pay for school and ultimately my escape! OH I know now what I wanted to ask- anyone else battling a similar demon (addiction of any kind) and dancing? What has worked for you? What works for you now? I've had my time off (almost 3 months!) and I miss it. I hate even more the fact that I can't stand on my own two feet.

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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    Hi,

    Wow. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, but also sounds like you are a VERY strong person. It sounds also like you are making a lot of positive moves in the right direction (moving to a new place away from the drama and drugs). As far as finding friends, what do you enjoy doing outside of dancing and the group? Do you go to movies, work out, go to bookstores? Maybe try joining groups in those types of places (many are often free) with people who share your interests. There are usually things like book discussion groups and poetry readings at coffee shops and bookstores. You can also try picking up some of the free community weekly papers to see what groups are around in your area, or check out sites like meetup.com for groups to go out and do things like go to a movie or take a trip to a mall. While I haven't had to battle with drugs, I commend you for your efforts to change, and it sounds like you've grown a lot and learned a lot from your past, which will help you to build a much stronger future. Good luck and best wishes!

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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    Yes,
    Congrats on your recovery..I am more on the co-dependent side, but have definitely benefited from support groups..take it easy on yourself! It sounds like you have plan pretty well mapped out (other than telling your mom). I don't what to tell you about that, other than getting your stuff to your storage as much as possible if she freaks out.
    I'm in Chicago too, pm me anytime, best of luck to you..



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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    Congrats, Kaley!

    I just wanted to say that if you are going to come to Phoenix with the intention of making as much money as possible, now is the time to do it! Jan-April is our season. The summer is dead so maybe if you made a goal just to work until April and the move to Portland, that would keep you really focused! Good luck!

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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    LAChloe thank you- I work better when I have deadlines.

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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    im battling addiction too right now, im currently on suboxone and i know i should attend NA meeting as well just can't bring myself! good for you.. i know how hard it is and it takes a very strong person! im not battling being a stripper as i've found it has given me true financial freedom and happiness for the first time in my adult life but then that's me. good luck with everything and stay strong

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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    I personally haven't, but my ex and now my old ballroom dance partner are both recovering addicts, and of course that means I got to come along for the ride... I seem to attract drug addicted and emotionally damaged people. BP ended up in rehab for heroin, got kicked out, went back and finished it, then started doing and selling for a drug ring to support the habit... He's been through people breaking into his house, having law enforcement looking for him, having to move, debt from it, etc.

    What he's done to recover (and it's been harsh on him but it's working) is: his dad froze his accounts so he gets a small stipend every week and that's it. It's enough money discipline that he can't blow it on heroin because he's gotta eat and pay rent. He lives with someone totally clean who keeps an eye on him. He also lives right across from an NA meeting place and goes every single day, rain or shine, and walks the half mile. He says going every day, vs. a once or twice a week, is really helpful. He also calls me up to go dancing every month or so, which is really his main thing because he loves it, and our old studio just gave him a "job" (unpaid) teaching beginner classes on Friday nights. Not having a car is probably helping as well, since neither his roommate, me, or any of his remaining acquaintances are going to drive him to get drugs. He also reads, A LOT; he was a physics major, so a lot of physics books and internet material from what I see. He's been clean for about 3 months now.

    So I guess out of all that, having a sense of purpose is definitely a big part of it. Yours would be going back to school for a career you like. Keep that in mind every day. Atmosphere is a big part (there are studies of cocaine-addicted rats that associate certain cages with the drug, so that's huge). If the club is going to be a big trigger for you, it's good you're at Christie's vs. one of the west side clubs out here, since I think there's very little drugs going on there. I don't know if you have any friends in the club yet, but maybe make a couple you're okay with telling and have them watch out for you. I think it'd probably help if you did a similar thing to my BP with the money, like every night put aside $X towards your rent/food/gas (to total your bills each month) and the rest goes instantly in a savings account at a drive-thru ATM. Out of sight, a little more out of mind. Walking around with wads of cash is not going to help cravings. Even better, name the account "School Funds/Escape" and that way you're reminded of your purpose every night.

    I think we'll be dancing at the same club soon, I should be auditioning this week, so if you want to talk or anything I'm more than willing I haven't personally been through this stuff but I have seen a LOT of it between various friends and they come to me for support a lot, so I like to think I have a decent grasp on the recovery process. You can message me too!
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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    Go to the meetings, work the steps. Do you trust your sponsor? Is there any truth in her saying that she thinks the 'geographical is not a good idea'? I know for my partner that moving was escapism (It willl all work out when I live in a new place/surround myself with new people).
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    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    anyone else currently dealing with a situation similar and have any advice?

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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    I'm gonna echo moving to a new place because it's good to get away from the people who had a terrible influence on you. Friends you used with, your family who enabled your addictive behaviors, away from your known dealers. I was able to fight my addiction easily by starting a new in new surroundings. Get yourself into some sort of program. The 12-steps didn't work for me: http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/111113p12.shtml

    Anytime I wanted to get high, I would go biking. Get active. Become addicted to something that is healthy! If you are really really addicted where you go through withdrawls, please do a clinical detox so you are safe. It's hard to go through addiction alone. I was forced into rehab when I was younger, and it wasn't a good environment because they rather healed me spiritually instead of psychologically. Do your research on rehab clinics if you feel like you need to go. Find yourself a great therapist so you can get to your root of addiction and find healthy ways to overcome it.
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    Default Re: Drug addiction recovery and stripping

    Also try some AA meetings. There tend to be more people with more years of sobriety there.

    Ask about the geographical cure. People are usually their own main problem, and no matter where they go they cant get away from themselves.

    Read up on seasonal affective disorder. Sometimes it can be treated with proper lighting.

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