I am in recovery from drug addiction; more specifically heroin. I danced for 3 and a half years, two of which I was on H and three I was on Xanax. In October I left the industry and went to rehab, vowing to hang up my heels for good and get a vanilla job. I put all my stuff in storage and successfully completed treatment. Since I got out I've been crashing at my mom's place, looking for work that requires me to keep my clothes ON. She is mentally ill and unmedicated. She really gets under my skin and I remember why I left as soon as I turned 18 to begin with. Also, I live in Chicago which has THE WORST winters- I very much suffer from depression which worsens greatly in the winter months. I'm trying NA and have found a group I really like. A friend offered me a place to stay and place to work (stripping) in Phoenix, Arizona. I already checked, there are NA meetings there. I have exactly enough money for a greyhound bus ticket as well as a "sugar daddy" type-of-guy who is willing to help. Recently gave up on my relationship with Boyfriend- it was and is so damaged by my drug using that I'm embarrassed to try to continue making it work. I loved him dearly and still do... I don't really know what I am looking for here by posting about this. Not advice on what to do, because I already know I'm going... I do not plan to live out the rest of my life in Illinois or any of the surrounding states. I guess maybe tips on how to go about this? How do I break this news to my cazy momma- she still doesn't know of my plans and I plan to leave between the 7th and 10th of January. I can't afford to take most of my belongings that aren't in storage with me right away, and I don't want her to go nuts and throw them out or sell them or something. I've legitimately looked for vanilla work, there is nobody who wants to hire me with such a gap in my employment history (almost 4 years of "joblessness"?) and/or lack of resmue. So my plan is to relocate; I eventually want to go to Portland, OR and this just seems like a step in the right direction. Yes I would like to have a little more education under my belt, but not only can I not afford it (and no way I could on a minimum-wage income even if I were to manage landing a job), but I can't live in a house with a person that drives me nuts. In the cold. Did I mention I don't have any friends? I'm making some through NA, and my sponsor frowns on me for making this decision, but I disagree. The sole purpose of me dancing from here on out will be to pay for school and ultimately my escape! OH I know now what I wanted to ask- anyone else battling a similar demon (addiction of any kind) and dancing? What has worked for you? What works for you now? I've had my time off (almost 3 months!) and I miss it. I hate even more the fact that I can't stand on my own two feet.