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Thread: People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

    A couple of friends and I occasionally have TED talk nights where we watch... Well, TED talks.

    This one came up in our queue recently, and I really wanted to share it because the information regarding what he refers to as "positive psychology" involves habits that I've developed in my life over the last year or two. As someone who once suffered years ago from depression, was misdiagnosed as a BPD and afflicted with occasional bouts of anxiety, my life has been on an infinite upward slope once I decided to meditate, practice gratitude and train my mind to think more positively. (In addition to eliminating negative people from my life, which he doesn't mention, but I will!) The power of positive thought is HUGE! And happiness is important, so you should work hard to have it.

    It's short and he's hilarious so it's easy to watch.


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    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

    This is so true. Externally I've dealt with a lot of negativity and loss in the last couple years that noticeably threw me off, mood wise. It turns out that those stressful experiences were for the better because I grew and also "edited" a lot of negative people and a lot of negativity in general out of my life. I found that close friends and loved ones can either be your rock, and be there for you no matter what, or be rocks that hold you down emotionally and hold you back from achieving happiness. Once I cut some of the negative rocks away it was a lot easier to see who the people were in my life that really deserved to be there. Every negative relationship that you hold onto is taking away from your relationships you could have with people who will help you thrive.

    I also think an important aspect of being happier is adjusting expectations of others. Not every single person you meet and every new friend will be a true one. Time and conflict are the real tests. And also adjusting expectations for yourself. You want to recognize flaws in yourself and work to improve them, but not let them consume you. I'm going to be trying some of the things he added in the video, particularly contacting people in a positive way.
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

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    Featured Member Tsepmet1's Avatar
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    Default Re: People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

    I have to agree, yet disagree.

    I agree that you can talk yourself into being happy most of the time, and that keeping a positive outlook can really change your life. Your entire disposition can shift dramatically by just getting up and being productive.

    I disagree, because having moved from the sunny south to the cold, cloudy north, I am now dealing with seasonal affective disorder and it is no joke. If there was a way to think myself out of it I would. With legitimate problems, sometimes positive thinking won't get you as far as you need. Sometimes medication and counseling are in order (or a light therapy box!).

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsepmet1 View Post
    I have to agree, yet disagree.

    I agree that you can talk yourself into being happy most of the time, and that keeping a positive outlook can really change your life. Your entire disposition can shift dramatically by just getting up and being productive.

    I disagree, because having moved from the sunny south to the cold, cloudy north, I am now dealing with seasonal affective disorder and it is no joke. If there was a way to think myself out of it I would. With legitimate problems, sometimes positive thinking won't get you as far as you need. Sometimes medication and counseling are in order (or a light therapy box!).
    i have to completely agree with the seasonal affective disorder thing! im suffering from that too..especially with the stripper schedule of getting up late and staying up late i see around 1 to 2 hours of daylight and its starting to realllyyy get to me! this winter has been by far the worst, by they're all bad! my mom got me the blue-light box and its starting to help but there's nothing like real daylight! im literally turning into a vampire, and not a happy one

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

    Eek.. I forget about stuff like SAD living in Tampa now, but when I was working an office job in Denver over the winter I rarely saw day light at all (driving to work as the sun was rising, and leaving as it was setting) so I do remember how bad that is!

    I don't agree with the statistic "10% of your happiness is affected by external situations" or whatever he says in that blurb because -- really -- how can you quantify that?! You can't. I want to find his primary source for that statement and read their study... lol.

    I'm sorry to hear SAD is affecting you both so badly! And to be fair -- positive thinking/meditation/expressing gratitude/positive interactions with people -- these things help me day-to-day, but I also had over a year of therapy when I was 19 and 20 during a time when these things alone would never have helped me. So I do know what you are saying. I don't think there is a "magic happy button" or anything that you can press in your mind, I just think that making positive attitude a habit is an important part of learning how to cope with negativity.

    There's never a time in one's life where bad things just DON'T happen, it's a matter of knowing how to confront even the worst situations with optimism and a sense of humor. One silly example -- smiling and cracking a joke at the guy who cuts you off in traffic instead of "what the fuck"s and horn honking. Unnecessary rage avoided! Obviously, road rage is minor compared to SAD or many other circumstantial problems that can affect people, so I'm not suggesting that smiling and cracking a joke at the setting sun is going to help anyone suffering from a serious disorder like that. This is more of an overall lifestyle exercise.

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