I am trying to get myself back into camming I don't need to make a lot just about $500 a week is enough for me to handle bills and savings and then I got escorting and a government benefits to handle the rest of my living expenses. but omg these idiots that come in my room bark fucking orders dear lord. getting drunk doesn't work for me because it just puts me to sleep and it goes the same if I was smoking weed.
I don't get it back in 2003 I would sit on cam and make everything I needed just from cam but now I guess maybe because I am older I can't handle the stupid idiots. how do you guys put up with these idiots OMG I can't smile every second on there sometimes I just don't need to smile , I use to smile so much my face would hurt. I literally feel like I have to dumb myself down to work webcam. I don't know frig I wish I could do something else but right now my options are limited to camming, escorting and what I get from the government.
I guess this is what happens when you get in the industry and don't make a plan of getting out or at least considering retirement. I am not mad at myself I use to be but now I am just trying to figure out a plan of what I want to do for myself in college and get myself into a different career field for a while.



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When I find it hard to smile I pull up a funny webcomics, stories, joke sites, SW, or something else that makes me smile/laugh/giggle. They can say all the stupid crap they want, as long as they give me money I'm amused at them all. You don't have to dumb yourself down, just find something else that is awesome to do at the same time that will help keep you going. And remember to keep your best asset, but don't let it hurt your cheeks!

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