Hey, I was just hoping to clarify a few things. I know we have different schedules so this isn’t me trying to write a passive aggressive letter, that isn’t my intention at all. Some things have been going on that I’d really like to address. Last night you had someone over and you guys were talking about me, from about 1:30 am to 4:00 am and I heard everything.
I know we aren’t best friends anymore, but I atleast thought we were friends vs just roommates. I’m not sure when that switch happened but am sad to see our friendship end. I know sometimes I can be a lax roommate and I just want to apologize. My schedule is so hectic between working, working out and sleeping. I am never here and when I am I am confined to my room, so I apologize on letting the common area get sub par. I try my best and keep it clean but sometimes I do forget to take out the trash, that is my fault. I just wanted to bring something up though in that I am rarely ever in the living room, and when I am my stuff is cleaned up. I’ve noticed when you tend to camp out there that a mess can be left for days, and not just little things but food wrappers, bags, receipts, books, and plates. I clean this up because I do like a clean area and have no problem with it. Same with doing the dishes that inevitably get piled up. Since I cook the most I have no issue doing yours as well.
I’m unsure as to what bags you were referring to that I use. The only bags I use are the sandwich bags that I purchased, and the plastic grocery bags that I contribute to. If I mistakenly used something of yours, I will fully reimburse you (especially because I know I do use the straws that are yours).
I was home last night from 7:45 pm to well, right at at 10 am the next day. I had not left in that entire time, there was no way I left the door unlocked when you and your friend came in after me. I would never leave our door wide open.
I confided in you that a few months ago my father was having heart issues. I don’t think I ever explained the extent of it but he nearly died and as a result had to have a quintuple bypass and a valve replacement on his heart. Five months ago he had a pace maker installed. This created a lot of debt for my parents and as a result they have decided to cut me off financially. Had I known this was going to happen I would have never moved in. I apologize on being late with rent this month. As I have told you, I have the money but am waiting for my site to mail my check. They are on a three week payment delay. So anything that I made during the week of 6-11 got sent out yesterday. I apologize, this was completely my fault as when I changed my payment I didn’t realize it would revert from a 1 week delay to a 3 week. I know, excuses. I am just trying to explain my situation. I have zero savings, I have only been working online for three months now and it has been rough. I am saving every dime I can.
Last night I heard you mention my spending habits. I did not purchase that $15 water bottle. I think that’s a crazy amount to spend on a water bottle. It was actually a gift from my boyfriend. I haven’t been shopping in weeks (I have actually returned/sold a lot of my clothing to help get cash) and only spend money on the necessities.
I cannot even afford my medication anymore. I apologize if I have been moody or unbalanced lately. That is how dire this situation is. I have gone on a few job interviews to try and get back into the “straight” business world but no such luck. Trust me, I am trying. My life has been steadily going downhill and I am trying to work on everything including the loss of my friends/support system.
I apologize for not being there for your surgery. I was incorrectly told the wrong date and only knew of your surgery when I came home to find you and kersti in the living room. Why not bring your surgery up the night before, the day before, or the week of? If you wanted me to help you you had to keep me informed on the correct time and date.
Do you remember when I wanted to check myself into a mental hospital because I was suicidal and extremely depressed? I felt the same way that you did about your surgery. You never asked me how I was that entire time that I was plotting my suicide. I had my note written, my method picked out and I REACHED OUT to you guys and no one said anything. Your friend wanted to kill herself and you did nothing.
I just wish instead of me finding out through the walls that you would have talked to me first. I am sorry that things have gotten this bad, I honestly had no idea. I thought things were fine, that you’ve just been in studio or at class and that’s why we haven’t seen eachother or been able to hang out. I was wrong, I’m not sure if it’s because you’ve been avoiding me or what but I truly am sorry. We’ve been friends for over four years and I’d hate to see such a long friendship just go down the drain without atleast trying to fix it. I can be a better roommate. This has just been the most stressed out I have been in my entire life. January has been the worst month of my life and I’ve barely even scratched the surface at what has been going on. I am just sorry.
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