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Thread: Hands on or off?

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    Default Hands on or off?

    I'd never been to a club before this week. Went a few times this week and tried some champagne room dances and regular "1 song" type lap dances. Not knowing any of the girls, I was very hands off, just letting them dance.

    My question is, does it make the dancers uncomfortable to be hands off? I ask because most of them would tell me to be hands on, or take my hands and do it for me, lol!

    Don't get me wrong, I really like the hands on stuff! But I'm just not sure what the boundaries are, especially with girls I've never had a dance from before.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    The boundaries vary from club to club, city to city and state to state. It really depends on where you are. If the dancers are putting your hands on them I guess that's a good sign as to what is allowed but if you are unsure your best bet is to observe what others are doing and, of course, ask the dancers in the club that you are in.
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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    It never hurts to ask the dancer what is allowed. Most will be more than happy to give you a rundown of the local laws and their personal preferences.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Ask before you agree to anything.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    I work in a high contact area. Once in a blue moon I'll get an out of towner or total club newbie who doesn't know what the rules are and just keep their hands by their sides. It's a little weird for me because it's so unexpected, and I always indicate that touching is allowed in some way. I wouldn't say it makes me uncomfortable though, it's just a surprise and I can easily adjust if the customer prefers to be hands off. It's just much less work for me to let the customer fondle my boobs for a few songs than to actually move around dancing for them heh.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    It's just much less work for me to let the customer fondle my boobs for a few songs than to actually move around dancing for them heh.
    Siggied!!
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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Along the lines of Yoda's comment, it depends where you're at. If your screen name is an I.dication you are from New England, be advised that conduct expected and allowed in RI will get you thrown out (or at least warned) in a lot of MA clubs.
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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    It really has nothing to do with a dancer's preference (although it's nice that you are concerned about it). If the club IS a touching club, than the dancer will be used to this and it's part of the job description-hence it's ok. If it's a non-touching club, then it isn't acceptable. Full stop. If you aren't sure about the rules where you are, just ask .
    Last edited by OliveJardin; 02-03-2013 at 07:15 PM.
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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    +1 for asking the dancer.

    I am a strictly a "hands off" dancer, and this does not change if I am in a situation where touching is legal, such as a private function, party, another state, etc. I cannot stand being touched by strangers, and it is an agreed limit with my SO, so I don't allow it regardless.

    Just ask, if they're not already directing your hands to touch. Remember, the more comfortable the dancer feels, the better the dance you'll generally get.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    I also am a "hands-off" dancer. I work in a club that allows zero touching anyways, and I've never really worked at a club where touching was allowed, but I think it would be very weird and slightly invasive for me. I definitely don't think it's weird for you to not touch--in fact, I'd say that's the appropriate thing to do. If she doesn't tell you touching is allowed, always assume it isn't. Or, of course, you're more than welcome to ask. Customers who aren't familiar with the rules in my area will usually ask at the beginning of the first dance what the rules are, and I'm more than happy to give them the basic rundown.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Sometimes a verbal inquiry is a bit awkward. Sometimes a little light 'social' touch (arm, etc) is a good start. Let her respond. Read the signals. On several occasions , she's actually taken my hand and put it someplace more interesting (even then I'm polite, and not grabby). It's good for tips and I suspect there is some truth in Shanna Dior's comment that it's a lot less work for the dancer.

    All my regular girls are pretty well open to any of my touching, I'm not sure if that's how they are in general or have just become comfortable with me.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Quote Originally Posted by rgbg View Post
    Sometimes a verbal inquiry is a bit awkward.
    It shouldn't be awkward...just ask, "What are the rules here?" Problem solved. Not awkward at all.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    In Seattle, the laws are really strict and LE is always trying to bust dancers. All the clubs have the same rules, but the real rules vary from dancer to dancer. I've had dancers stick their bare nipples in my face on the couch and then others who hint at (what is commonly called a champagne room dance) but then don't allow touching in there either. My standard route now is to get a dance, assume hands off, have a little convo, and then ask the dancer what her rules are. Typically they want to screen you a little to see if you are LE. A couple of clubs here I've been in enough that the girls recognize me as a) not LE and b) a good tipper. Makes it more fun.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    If they are the club rules and the dancers are encouraging, you have no reason to worry. If a dancer doesn't like it she will tell you to stop and probably not be annoyed at you, since you were following the rules you were told. However, a dancer should tell you before the LD if her rules are different to club rules. You should clear that up before paying for the LD so you know what you are getting. Don't feel awkward about asking because it is their job and it's your money - it's business. The dancer shouldn't be offended. You just have to ask her "What are the rules?".

    All of the clubs in my area are high contact, which means customers can touch anywhere except the crotch and no mouth contact from customers. Since they are the club rules a dancer will most likely tell a customer if her rules are different, so I assume club rules unless told otherwise. Usually the dancers explain the rules before the dance begins, so that the customer doesn't do anything illegal or get thrown out by a controller, or get fined or fired herself, or have her own boundaries crossed.

    Only one dancer has told me her rules were different to the club rules. She didn't allow me to touch her boobs. She told me this during the LD, after I paid. Very disappointing because her boobs were nice and big. Since it was only a short LD and she was generally attractive, I didn't complain. Since then, whenever I want an LD with a dancer with nice boobs, I make sure I know whether I can touch them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    This is honestly way too much thinking for me - lol. All of this stuff feeds into why I usually don't do LDs, along with the general indignity of paying to sit in a chair in an open space just so a girl can crawl on me. My activities normally consist of tipping for time if I am being entertained, visits to VIP rooms and certain other dicier OTC activities with "friends" in different cities. It will be a cold day in hell before I will be sitting there asking questions like "Is it ok if I touch your breast?", in a pathetic, yet hopeful voice.

    This is no shot at those of you who enjoy LDs or the ladies on here who earn their bread and butter from them, but every time I see a thread like this it just reaffirms my feelings on the matter.

    Anyway, just my

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    ^ I don't beg dancers to let me touch their boobs, I ask them if they allow it before paying them. It's just part of the transaction.The only difference between paying a girl to crawl over me in an open space and paying a girl to crawl on me in a VIP room is that a few other people can see us, and since they all either have girls crawling over them or are busy crawling over customers, they probably don't spend much time watching us. Whatever OTC activities you do are OTC and nothing to do with SCs. LDs are fun. I don't feel pathetic about paying for them any more than you feel pathetic about tipping for stage dances.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    This is honestly way too much thinking for me - lol. All of this stuff feeds into why I usually don't do LDs, along with the general indignity of paying to sit in a chair in an open space just so a girl can crawl on me. My activities normally consist of tipping for time if I am being entertained, visits to VIP rooms and certain other dicier OTC activities with "friends" in different cities. It will be a cold day in hell before I will be sitting there asking questions like "Is it ok if I touch your breast?", in a pathetic, yet hopeful voice.

    This is no shot at those of you who enjoy LDs or the ladies on here who earn their bread and butter from them, but every time I see a thread like this it just reaffirms my feelings on the matter.
    No, of course not...

    I'm not really clear on how tipping at the stage, paying for VIP and paying for OTC sex is any more or less of an indignity than paying for a lap dance and simply establishing boundaries. It all ads up to the same thing rick. We are all paying the ladies for their services.
    Last edited by yoda57us; 03-03-2013 at 10:59 AM.
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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    No, of course not...

    I'm not really clear on how tipping at the stage, paying for VIP and paying for OTC sex is any more or less of an indignity that paying for a lap dance and simply establishing boundaries. It all ads up to the same thing rick. We are all paying the ladies for their services.
    The only activity I can see that would be considered an "indignity" would be stage tipping. It's a privacy thing (if I understand where Rick is coming from). VIP and OTC activities are for the most part private, depending on what kind of VIP you get. Stage tipping is public, meaning everyone can see you.
    Regardless, Yoda is pretty much right: we all pay for service. Personally I never go to a club unless I have enough dough for VIP, because I prefer privacy for the reason stated above. And I feel more comfortable ironing out boundaries there.
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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    To be honest I'm not a big fan of the public lap dance either and, fortunately, the way most of the clubs I go to are set up I don't have to deal with it. The fact is, in a couple of places I frequent, the VIP room is actually less private than the regular lap dance area.
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    I don't know - it is really almost everything for me. Paying for clothed contact with a girl; being monitored by the fucktards who work security in these clubs (by camera or directly) like I'm a pathetic pervert and/or dangerous lunatic that needs to be watched; having to think at all about arbitrary rules or limits (note: I'm not a handsy guy during LDs, but some areas are ridiculous), the commoditized feeling of sitting there among a bunch of other guys in a LD room; handling my business, even if it is just LD contact, in a public or even semi-public setting; etc., et al.

    Now I will admit that privacy is a part of it, but it also intertwines with feelings of self-dignity. I will not sit at a tip rail for largely the same reasons, nor will I wait for a mini-performance when I walk up to a stage to tip. Now I am not remotely shy and there isn't much that I haven't done in strip clubs, most of those things more times than I can count. But sitting in a LD chair or in a seat stageside just aren't among those things that I do very often.

    Again, no shot at anyone else who enjoys these activities and I am certainly not trying to convince anyone that they shouldn't. Also, and somewhat obviously, a lot of dancers need to sell LDs in order to pay their bills. However, LDs are just not my cup of tea and never have been in the 15+ years that I have been hitting the clubs. Fortunately for me, there are a variety of girls out there who find multiple ways in which to earn money from customers, so I am able to enjoy my club experiences in a number of other ways and girls are able to earn from me (and not just for p4p - lol).

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Love to shove my lil' tities in guy's face, w/their very pointy nips


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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I don't know - it is really almost everything for me. Paying for clothed contact with a girl; being monitored by the fucktards who work security in these clubs (by camera or directly) like I'm a pathetic pervert and/or dangerous lunatic that needs to be watched; having to think at all about arbitrary rules or limits (note: I'm not a handsy guy during LDs, but some areas are ridiculous), the commoditized feeling of sitting there among a bunch of other guys in a LD room; handling my business, even if it is just LD contact, in a public or even semi-public setting; etc., et al.
    I don't like being watched either but it doesn't mean they think I'm a pervert or a lunatic, it is just a precaution against perverts and lunatics. If they thought I was one they wouldn't allow me in there in the first place. Years ago there were no controllers in clubs I went to and if there were cameras they were just for recording in case of an incident and not monitored. Media alarmism and government pressure (hostile auditors) caused the clubs to tighten up.

    As for rules, girls have personal boundaries in any situation. The limits in the high contact clubs I visit are bare minimum: no mouth contact, no crotch. Simple hygiene dictates those limits if nothing else but probably also because crossing them constitutes prostitution. At that point you really need to go looking for a girlfriend or a ONS.

    Now I will admit that privacy is a part of it, but it also intertwines with feelings of self-dignity. I will not sit at a tip rail for largely the same reasons, nor will I wait for a mini-performance when I walk up to a stage to tip. Now I am not remotely shy and there isn't much that I haven't done in strip clubs, most of those things more times than I can count. But sitting in a LD chair or in a seat stageside just aren't among those things that I do very often.
    I don't like sitting in the tipping seats either. Mostly because I don't like to stand out from the crowd in SCs though I tend to feel I would be "Mr Sleaze" to sit there all night with my eyes glued to the dancers from a meter away throwing cash at them. But really, I am doing the same thing from five meters away and the only reason I am even in the club is to look at the dancers. The other disadvantage of sitting at the stage is that dancers walking the floor will not approach me and it is difficult to scope them from the stage seats.

    Again, no shot at anyone else who enjoys these activities and I am certainly not trying to convince anyone that they shouldn't. Also, and somewhat obviously, a lot of dancers need to sell LDs in order to pay their bills. However, LDs are just not my cup of tea and never have been in the 15+ years that I have been hitting the clubs. Fortunately for me, there are a variety of girls out there who find multiple ways in which to earn money from customers, so I am able to enjoy my club experiences in a number of other ways and girls are able to earn from me (and not just for p4p - lol).
    Such as? Aside from stage sets, LDs and chatting I can't think of anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    I don't care if someone touches my tits as long as they pay well. It's not like they're real anyways. If I'm working at a contact club and customer asks what the rules are I say "Don't touch my pussy and don't void my warranty!"
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    I don't like being watched either but it doesn't mean they think I'm a pervert or a lunatic, it is just a precaution against perverts and lunatics. If they thought I was one they wouldn't allow me in there in the first place. Years ago there were no controllers in clubs I went to and if there were cameras they were just for recording in case of an incident and not monitored. Media alarmism and government pressure (hostile auditors) caused the clubs to tighten up.

    As for rules, girls have personal boundaries in any situation. The limits in the high contact clubs I visit are bare minimum: no mouth contact, no crotch.
    Each girl has her own limits and there is a valid reason for the existence of security? The revelations never cease around here. And did you also just reveal that you know the minds and motivations of every bouncer working at every club?

    I never questioned the need for security or the rights of girls to impose boundaries. What I said was that scrutiny by other guys and having to think about boundary issues are just two elements, among other things that I highlighted above, that make me disinclined to buy LDs, irrespective of the legitimacy or necessity of these elements.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    Simple hygiene dictates those limits if nothing else but probably also because crossing them constitutes prostitution. At that point you really need to go looking for a girlfriend or a ONS.
    Rather than posting the many comments that came to mind when I saw that interesting mix of speculation and somewhat naive lecturing, I'm just going to let it sit there on its own and percolate for a while...

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    Such as? Aside from stage sets, LDs and chatting I can't think of anything.
    That is because your frame of reference is too limited. I pay to be entertained, whatever the form that it ultimately takes. Now there is no doubt that dicier activities are part of the equation for me in many clubs, but some of my best club nights have simply involved dancers who have entertained me at the bar or at a table. "Chatting" does not really encompass the many ways in which a dancer can entertain a customer with wit, charm, edgy flirtatiousness, perhaps a little canoodling, light or even heavier petting, etc. Each club is different, as is each girl (as you felt the need to point out earlier).

    Just a few thoughts.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 03-03-2013 at 08:22 PM.

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    Default Re: Hands on or off?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Each girl has her own limits and there is a valid reason for the existence of security? The revelations never cease around here.
    Point being, whenever you interact with anybody anywhere in any situation, there are boundaries. I don't think there is an actual, legitimate reason for the level of security clubs have. Recorded video should be enough At least where I live, the clubs put controllers in the LD rooms only in response to government harassment over alleged prostitution, assaults and drug-taking.

    And did you also just reveal that you know the minds and motivations of every bouncer working at every club?
    No, I just don't think that the reason customers are monitored in SCs is that they are all perverts or prone to violence, just by the fact that they are customers. They are monitored because some customers might be perverts or violent. Anyway, I'm not going to worry about what may or may not be in the mind of a bouncer. Any more than I care what is in the minds of the dancer doing the LD. If the bouncers and staff are going to think anything bad about you, it will begin when you enter the club, before you go to the LD room, since anyone in the club can be assumed to be there potentially to buy an LD.

    I never questioned the need for security or the rights of girls to impose boundaries. What I said was that scrutiny by other guys and having to think about boundary issues are just two elements, among other things that I highlighted above, that make me disinclined to buy LDs, irrespective of the legitimacy or necessity of these elements.
    I wasn't accusing you of questioning those things, just questioning why they would bother anyone. They are only scrutinizing whether anything illegal or harmful is happening. Other than that they are probably bored shitless, having to do it for hours every day. And as I said, we deal with boundaries in all situations and the boundaries in high contact clubs are just those which ensure the minimum of public decency and hygeine. If the only rules are that I can't put my mouth on a dancer or touch her pussy, they are hardly even boundaries at all, since I am not at a brothel or a ONS.

    Rather than posting the many comments that came to mind when I saw that interesting mix of speculation and somewhat naive lecturing, I'm just going to let it sit there on its own and percolate for a while...
    By "you" I didn't mean yourself, I meant it in the general sense (should have used "one"). It wasn't a lecture, I was just making the point.that if those minimal boundaries aren't acceptable, you are looking for more than a LD.

    That is because your frame of reference is too limited. I pay to be entertained, whatever the form that it ultimately takes. Now there is no doubt that dicier activities are part of the equation for me in many clubs, but some of my best club nights have simply involved dancers who have entertained me at the bar or at a table. "Chatting" does not really encompass the many ways in which a dancer can entertain a customer with wit, charm, edgy flirtatiousness, perhaps a little canoodling, light or even heavier petting, etc. Each club is different, as is each girl (as you felt the need to point out earlier).

    Just a few thoughts.
    I pay to be entertained too, when I pay for a LD. What's the difference? What you are paying for sounds just as ersatz as a LD (actually some of it sounds just like an LD) and no doubt there are boundaries for those activities also.

    But I'm not telling you what to like.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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