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Thread: Question about dancer possessiveness....

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Duh Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Ok, so it's happened AGAIN.
    Head out to new club. Check out scenery. See lovely girl on stage - "Daphne". Tip her & we go for a bunch of dances. Spent a couple of hours with her. We don't exchange cell phone info. We both leave with what we came for.

    Two or three weeks go by, and I revisit that same club. Since I'm still kinda new to the club I have no idea who is working. Upon walking in the bartender tells me that that "Daphne" is in the back and should be out shortly. WTF? OK. No biggie.I didn't come specifically for her, but whatever. She comes out and we drink, dance, have a good time.

    My third visit is about a month later. This time no Daphne in the house, which is OK by me. I'm in the mood for some new faces, and besides - she doesn't own me. A bunch of girls come say & say hi, and a few sit & chat.....but no one hits me up for dances. Finally when yet another hot dancer stops by to say hi and ask how I'm doing, I tell her that I'm having a crappy time, and that none of the girls are hitting me up. She reluctantly volunteers that "oh...you're Daphne's customer. No one is going to step on her toes". I just *sigh* and leave to go to a different club.

    My question for dancers: if a customer comes in that you either suspect or have been told is "owned" by another dancer, will you approach the customer if that dancer isn't working then? If not, why? My simplistic thought on this is if I come to the club and the dancer that "branded" me isn't there.....aren't I up for grabs?

    Truly sorry if this question has been raised before, but I'm just too damned lazy to search for it.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    if i know a customer is another girls regular and she is there, then no i won't come up to him. in my club its disrespectful and you will get chewed up and spit out of course. if she's NOT there though, then ill approach , sure..especially after he says he's not waiting for her, and if he asks me for a dance. then its not my fault and im not luring him or "stealing" him away. we all come here to make money, no personal insult to the other girl imo.
    who knows, "daphne" may be the queen bee in that club and may be hell on wheels if she believes her "regulars" are being stolen by other chicks. idk just my take.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Sounds to me like either Daphne is possessive over you and told everyone else to step off or that they think you and her have something going on besides just the club. Like you're her gf irl or something.

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    @simone87: I'll assume that your thoughts apply the same if the "him" is in fact a "her"

    @ ChefKitty: You may be on to something there, but in the short time that I've spent with Daphne she didn't seem the type to portray us as a "couple". Dunno for sure, tho.




    I wish to hell I knew what you ladies were telling each other in the DR.......

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    It's highly uncommon to see a good-spending female customer and the other girls probably attach some other factor to your repeat visit to Daphne.

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Hmmm....well this is LA and they've seen it all. And besides - when the other girls stop by to chat you'd have thought someone would have mentioned the gf thing to me.
    I'm screwed.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Just because "this is la" does not mean every girl in every club has "seen it all", all it takes is one girl who has not, in fact, seen it all to say some theory in the dressing room that dissuades the other girls from hustling you- they may think they're being polite.

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    You may have a point but I would think that at least one of the 6 or 7 dancers that chatted me up would have mentioned a girlfriend perspective.

    Curious to see what other dancers may think of this hot-mess situation (after the SuperBowl, of course )

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    Senior Member janesays22's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Speak your mind. Tell Daphne & the other girls that your not only there to see her. Its your experience & you should be able to dictate how it goes. I understand why the other girls are tentative, theres a whole code of politics behind tge scenes that your not aware of & even that varies by club & which girls are working. If you call the shots Daphne will not be able to hold it against the other girls.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    My simplistic thought on this is if I come to the club and the dancer that "branded" me isn't there.....aren't I up for grabs?
    ^Yes! Unless you are a long time regular who ONLY takes/talks to one or two girls (so the girls know it isn't worth their time) then you should be getting swarmed by lovely ladies lol!

    Maybe it was close knit kind of club with few girls in the rotation (in that case, if this dancer isn't pleasent-it might not be worth the $ in exchange for the drama to come).

    I know it isn't your job to "ask for a dance"-but if you want to go back to this club and you like another dancer there, go for it. If you initiate the dance, they aren't stepping on anyone's toes and you'll break this idea that you are "Daphne’s regular" (two dances doesn't make you anyone's regular! But she thinks you're a great customer and doesn't want to lose you to the other's, she has probably called you "her regular" in the DR).[/QUOTE] I think we've all been guilty of that, even if we don't mean it in that possessive way. It can come out due to pure excitement too, "Ooo that customer who was fun/spent a lot of time and money on me is back. Looks like it will be a good night !".
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    @OliveJardin - I'm beginning to realize that it may indeed be a very close knit group of day girls that look out for each other and are hesitant to step on each others toes. Funny, but my bad for assuming that just because it's a DejaVu that that wouldn't be the case. What in hell was I thinking?
    I don't like the idea of now having to ask the other dancers for dances......somehow I think that it will all end badly, with me getting the brunt of it.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    I don't like the idea of now having to ask the other dancers for dances......somehow I think that it will all end badly, with me getting the brunt of it.
    ^You shouldn't have to ask for one . But, if you did-it would be unprofessional for you to even notice any tension it may or may not cause. They can hash that out in the DR, without you even knowing, and you can walk away having enjoyed your time. No one owns a customer and “regular’s” coming and going is part of the business-the other girls are simply losing money by not approaching you when that dancer isn’t even there !

    If it's a clicky group of day shift girls, then maybe this club would be more fun at night ?
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Quote Originally Posted by OliveJardin View Post
    ^You shouldn't have to ask for one . But, if you did-it would be unprofessional for you to even notice any tension it may or may not cause. They can hash that out in the DR, without you even knowing, and you can walk away having enjoyed your time. No one owns a customer and “regular’s” coming and going is part of the business-the other girls are simply losing money by not approaching you when that dancer isn’t even there !

    If it's a clicky group of day shift girls, then maybe this club would be more fun at night ?

    Unfortunately night visits are out of the question for me.....I'm on lockdown then
    But I do believe that the dayshift there is very tight, so I may just have to take my clubbing down the street and try and start anew at another club.

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    I'm a bit surprised because I thought that the SFV clubs would have been more cut throat than they seem to be. I've only recently started venturing out there to club and it has been a real eye-opener in terms of what I expected vs reality.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Strange club you visit. There is something weird if one visit is documented and flash burned into the memory of everyone who works there, including the bartender. I space out my visits but did go on a 3x / month run and never encountered this Twilight Zone type behavior by the staff. Maybe it is a smaller club?

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Quote Originally Posted by flyguy29 View Post
    Strange club you visit. There is something weird if one visit is documented and flash burned into the memory of everyone who works there, including the bartender. I space out my visits but did go on a 3x / month run and never encountered this Twilight Zone type behavior by the staff. Maybe it is a smaller club?
    I have been in clubs during the day and night times. Honestly, if her visit was during the day (and she spent a bundle on one dancer in VIP) then word would definitely get around. The reason being there are only a few dancers who work during the day and few customers (typically). So the chance of remembering someone specific increases.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
    I don't care what customers think. I care about separating them from their wallet.
    The only people who get rich off of Get Rich Quick Schemes are the ones who sell them, not the ones who buy them.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    @simone87: I'll assume that your thoughts apply the same if the "him" is in fact a "her"
    oh my bad, sorry lol. very refreshing and awesome to see a female who enjoys the SC scene and getting dances!!

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    The club I was at is a DejaVu that's been around a long time, so yeah - it is quite bizarre. But FasaCorp does bring up a very good point. I do club during the daytime when it is less busy, and I stand out in sharp contrast to the rest of the customers so that makes me even easier to remember - I couldn't blend in if I tried! Also dropping some serious $$$ on a single girl in the daytime will inspire all sorts of assumptions as well. Usually that type of stuff works in my favor, but unfortunately in this case it didn't. But I did recently have a chat with other PL's online about this club and it turns out that the club's entire daytime crew (dancers, bartenders,bouncers, etc) is very tight and are VERY observant about customers and who we mingle with. Apparently what I'm experiencing is normal for this club. While I'm not too happy about the way this whole thing is playing out, I can appreciate the work ethic that the girls are displaying by not encroaching on another girl's turf, even if she's not there. I can't help but wonder if my seemingly demure, waif-like Daphne is really a lion in sheep's clothing when dealing behind the scenes with the other girls. Perhaps it's better that we customers don't know what goes on behind those ominous DR doors!

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    Smiley Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    My question for dancers:

    if a customer comes in that you either suspect or have been told is "owned" by another dancer, will you approach the customer if that dancer isn't working then?
    YES. I have no qualms about approaching.

    1. No customer is "owned" by a dancer.

    2. Variety is the spice of life, customers are free to enjoy spending time with any dancer they take a shine to.

    3. If a customer tells me that they were hoping a dancer was working that evening and the dancer is not, I'll happily jump in and save the trip... it's foolish to let a customer go home disappointed.

    4. When a customer tells me they were hoping to see "so-and-so" but "so-and-so" is in a lengthy room, I will offer to dance for them while they wait. If it is VERY slow that evening, I may sit for a bit (for tips of course). It's easy money and keeps both the customer and I occupied. It's a win-win scenario and most guys are happy to oblige. When their favorite dancer arrives, I wish them well and take my leave.

    5. If the customer tells me that they aren't interested in spending time with me, I move on. If I'm free and I see the dancer the customer mentioned, I'll notify the dancer discreetly that her regular is waiting for her. It's just a nice thing to do.

    Anyway, that's how I roll.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    "Stripper etiquette" bugs the living hell out of me. This is work not a sorority. I am not saying it is OK to be brutal but I am saying a lot of girls need to grow up and unfortunately, OP, this is a very common practice. If customers wanted to see the same girl over and over and be "possessed," they would stay home with their wives and/or girlfriends.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    "Stripper etiquette" bugs the living hell out of me. This is work not a sorority. I am not saying it is OK to be brutal but I am saying a lot of girls need to grow up and unfortunately, OP, this is a very common practice. If customers wanted to see the same girl over and over and be "possessed," they would stay home with their wives and/or girlfriends.
    In my experience, this is actually what almost all day shift "regulars" want. You rarely find a guy that frequents the day shift who isn't there to see 1-3 particular girls.

    Although, I can't really understand being claimed as a "regular" after only three visits, especially with nearly a month between each. That's just silly.

    To answer the question: If the girl wasn't working, yes, I would approach. I would also expect it to be discussed in the dressing room the next day among the other girls and "Daphne."

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    Quote Originally Posted by Addison View Post
    In my experience, this is actually what almost all day shift "regulars" want. You rarely find a guy that frequents the day shift who isn't there to see 1-3 particular girls.

    Although, I can't really understand being claimed as a "regular" after only three visits, especially with nearly a month between each. That's just silly.

    To answer the question: If the girl wasn't working, yes, I would approach. I would also expect it to be discussed in the dressing room the next day among the other girls and "Daphne."

    Well than I guess I'm a even rarer SCJ than I thought . I don't mind visiting with some of the same faces on dayshift, since the daytime lineups are usually alot more predictable than nightshift. But I don't want those girls to brand me and stop the others (especially new dancers) from coming over.
    Like someone mentioned - if I wanted to be with the same girl(s) I'd save alot of money by just staying home with the wife.

    And I'd be lyin' if I said that the next day's DR discussion doesn't scare me just a little. I'll pay for that somehow.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    I'm going to admit, that's kind of weird. At my club, girls will know that a particular customer is some other girl's regular for like 10 years running and they'll STILL try to poach. Maybe it's because you're female? It's already been established that a lot of dancers avoid female customers, so maybe this makes them even less likely to approach if they've seen you in there before.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    I agree about the possession thing being bs, but the stripper etiquette thing is very important so much so that our club has made a lot of them into hard rules. Like no talking to guys sitting at the stage once your off stage. No asking guys for dances unless they're sitti at the bar, and they can't be sitting with another girl at the time, ect.

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    Default Re: Question about dancer possessiveness....

    My experience has been that "dancer etiquette" is generally adhered to, but inly when the dancer "owning" the regular is in the club. Other than that, the customer is fair game. That being said, one girl warned me not to tell her sister we did dances ib her absence or drama (big time) would ensue.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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