Where do you draw the line between fighting for what you believe you deserve versus being a total bitch?
In other words, what is the difference between letting people walk all over you versus being flexible and compassionate toward others as to not cause problems?
Standing up for yourself versus being too opinionated?
Being irrational & unfair versus strongly fighting for what you want?
I have not mastered these types of situations, and I'm not even completely sure how to go about them. I feel like I can't win. ...But can you even win? If I'm too nice about it, nothing changes. If I'm too ~*mean*~ about it, I'm a bitch and it escalates even when I immediately try to walk away or compromise.
I'm not talking about petty things because I could care less about drama or dumb stuff that doesn't matter. I'm talking more about major things like...
a.) legal things like landlord saying I owe XXX when she already has 100% of deposit to cover it and more (but of course I'm the ~*rude, ungrateful one*~ since the landlord let me break the lease with a replacement tenant due to loud neighbors preventing me from working/sleeping yet she still feels shes above the law & does not do things as they are supposed to be legally conducted by law)
or b.) good friend dating an ex-boyfriend of yours & not telling you for over a year til you discover it on your own (but of course I'm the ~*irrational bitch*~ for ~*dictating*~ her personal life),
or c.) neighbors trying to make you out to be an unfriendly and therefore "bad" tenant when in fact they are the loud disrespectful ones (but of course I'm the ~*unfriendly, unrealistic, uptight one*~ except camming aka the way I make my living depends on no 21-year-old drunken screaming outside my window to the point where it sounds like they are next to me)
Things like that, that you're forced to deal with and can't escape until its done with.
Whenever I choose one response or the other, I either forfeit something I feel I deserve and they walk all over me, or they think I'm a total bitch + make up lies/false impressions to tarnish my character + they don't want to talk to me ever again or make my life hell? I don't give a fuck what people think about me, but I have to care about lies created about me that jeopardize major things I have to worry about like my living situation.
Is there even a *correct* thing to do in situations like these? Is there a rule of thumb in these situations that I simply just don't know? Or are most people just generally awful, selfish creatures that believe they can do whatever they want and make everyone else's life hell? I mean, I base my arguments on facts (or legality) and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I do realize other people have different perspectives, but why do they all become so defensive/hostile?! I try to come off as calm & compassionate, but then I just come off as fake. So instead of a bitch, I'm now a fake bitch. Know what I mean?
Should I just always defend what I think is right? Or let everything go for the sake of peace? I used to do more of the latter, but I feel like I have started doing more of the former and its causing so much stress. I don't want to cause harm to others, but at the same time I don't want to be walked all over.
How often do you get into situations like these, and what do you personally do in them?



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and good luck!

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