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Thread: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

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    Sad How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    In the past few months, I have been experiencing this happening many, many, (did I say MANY?) times.
    A regular custie will come into free chat, and just start asking me things, over and over, like he never had gone prvt. before, or has even read my profile.
    Since, (on my end), I already have my notes on him when he enters the chat~ i.e., his name, where he's from, details about what he likes to do in prvt., it has me baffled. i ALWAYS act happy to see him enter chat, ask him about his life, etc, yet the string of sexual questions of what i'll do to him,and what he'd like to do to me drag on, and he never takes me prvt., and just leaves.
    Since December and January have been so wonky slow and odd for me on cam, I am freaking out that these clients are playing games, and I'm never going prvt. with them anymore. I am not making much money camming,or getting new clients to go prvt., so I'm confused when my 'bread and butter' clients are doing this over and over.
    I don't want to boot, or block them, but 'enough is enough!'
    Any and all suggestions would be helpful, as if things don't turn around soon in camming, I'm going to have to go back to a vanilla job,(Yucko), because I am so not happy with the way camming has been in the past 6 months or so.
    I try to do 2 cam sites , but it is exhausting, and I truly like this site that I have been with for over 2 years.
    At first I thought that these guys were looking for a free session in chat, (or maybe because my rates are higher than before), but my notes tell me that I have had sessions with them since my rates have been higher, and it really has me baffled as to why they are doing this.

    Should I boot,block, or just be patient and wait to see if they come back sometime for a prvt.?
    Thanks so much,
    Glam

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    I've had that problem and I simply stopped talking to them, except for saying hi. They soon figured out that my company isn't free, even if I'm not doing anything sexual. Some of them left, but I have several regulars now that take me pvt just to talk sometimes.


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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to say that you are not alone. I think as financial constraints on guys has gotten worse, they have started to try to rely on past privates to get a bit of free stimulation. I have guys that used to private every week for 2 years or more who now come and say '[fantasy here] what do you think bb?' or will try to talk about 'what we'll do in private later'. Unfortunately, I have to give them the same stern treatment as any other freeloader. Sad. But some guys just don't feel able to spend what they used to.

    They'll either come back or they won't. I don't think any way of dealing with it is going to influence that.
    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    Somebody call the WAHHHHmbulance.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Thanks Selenas for that tip.I will try that.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    I have a few like that who think that just because they dropped 5 bucks on me at one point or another gives them the right to try to monopolize my time in free chat. I don't mind them hanging out and I won't block them, but at some point I have had to say, "Hey, I like when you come by, but if you really want my full attention, you know what to do, because I'm talking to everyone in here".

    Some want to pick their outfit and get the details of their session all in order so when we start, no time is wasted. Ok, that's fine too, but please don't write long ass paragraphs in free chat about it...send me a msg! One will say "ok, so will you maybe have on the outfit I want later in free chat when you do your next costume change?". I'm like sure, if YOU want that one on me, 10 gold please, especially if it's something with many layers, shoes, garter belt, bra, etc.... And every time he finally decides to do a show, (he's done about 6 of them) he never stays more than 3 or 4 minutes. SERIOUSLY? That's why it's important to take notes on people if you can! So you know how much attention to pay to them.


    "If you don't stand for anything, you'll fall for everything"

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Thanks Becky! A lightbulb went off as I was reading Your reply. If what You're saying is true, about them not having $$$ anymore, It might mean that for me to survive in camming, I might have to set my prices lower for a bit, and see how that works. It pains me to have to do that, since, presently, even a short prvt., earns so much more than a lower long prvt.
    However, Your theory makes sense for my custies, because 99% are under 30 years old. When my prices were lower, I was ALWAYS in prvts., so this new thing of being in free chat for over a half hour, and having 100's of guys clicking in and out of chat, drives me wacky.
    Thanks again. Today, new lower rates. Blessings to you Becky! Glam

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    My best regular in January turned into this in February. He would come into my chat multiple times during a shift and try to talk. It got to the point where my responses were just on the edge between banter and arguments. Then I realised that I don't give a shit about him and I don't need his money. The next time he came round I blocked his ass so fast. Sorry, mate, I'm not gonna devote mental energy to worrying about when you gonna start paying me again.



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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    I can be a bit of a smartass, so yesterday when this guy came into my SM room saying "I would fucking destroy you," (dude, that's not even sexy) I was like "Yikes! That sounds painful!" LMFAO.

    Also, guys like that who come in the room and run their mouths about the things they wanna do to you usually don't tip. They just wanna go on and on about how they'd fuck the shit outta you, and I guess they're looking to hear you respond with "Mmmmm, baby, you're making my pussy sooo fucking wet right now!" *rolls eyes* When they go on and on like that and say to me "Would you like that, baby?," I smile and tell them that if they go exclusive, I'll tell them all the details about what I like. And guess what? The minute I say the word 'exclusive', 'Gold', or 'tip', they run out the room without another word...haha. Works every time.

    The guys who do tip are usually the ones who are decent enough to say hi to me, and have normal conversation with me.
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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    You are not alone, BB! I've noticed that some of my regulars are starting this same shit and I have zero patience for it. I'm always nice and pleasant but don't test it. I'll greet my rugulars by names and chat with them for a few minutes in free chat then it's down to business. I'll ask, 'Did you miss me?!" They will always say, 'Yes, of course' then I'll say show me how much you've missed me. If I don't get taken to pvt or exclusive then I'll say, it doesn't show you miss me. Now the focus is on them. I'll give it another minute or two then kick. I don't allow guys to just sit in my room.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    ^^KittyKrane~ I have the shortest Exclusives when a custie asks me to wear a certain outfit. He has the patience to sit in paid while I get it, then he oohs and ahhs at how much he likes it, and can't wait to see it on me. Then, just as I put it on, bam~he's logged out of prvt!!! Then I'm stuck wearing some (usually ridiculously unsexy thing), and have to hit the 'break' button while I put on my original outfit.
    He usually wants a turtleneck, button down white shirt, blazer, or full secretary outfit, sweater,hair up in a bun, etc., that I would not wear on cam. (The few times that I just let it go to free chat again, because i was so frustrated, NOBODY would even stay in free to say hello, I looked that odd and covered up to most I guess.)
    Now when someone asks me for a particular change of clothes, I take a l-o-n-g time in my closet before coming back on cam, becuse I want to get paid...

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    About the changing clothes thing...for situations like that, I think it'd be so cool if all cam sites offered a 10-minute block session (Streamate has an option for a 15-minute block session). Of course, a block session would be discounted, so that's something you'd have to be okay with. But this way, the guy wanting you to put on a sexy nurse outfit has to pay enough for it to be worthwhile for you...instead of getting away with bailing 5 seconds after you've got it on.

    I used to have a sexy black bodystocking (not sure if I still have it), and it was a bitch trying to put that thing on...lol. No one's ever made a request for it, but I can just imagine how pissed I'd be to put it on for a show and then have the guy bail a few seconds later.
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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Glam, I made customers buy a 15 minute exclusive block session. That's the only way I would do a whole outfit change for them. You can spend the first few minutes getting the clothing out while he's in the session with you.


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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    The first couple of times that they do it I'll play nice and try to get them to go pvt. Some will go pvt afterwards but the majority quickly run out of my room once I mention pvt. When they come back and try to chit chat again I'll straight up tell them that I'm not here to chit chat. If they keep chatting and running then I kick them out and eventually block them. The majority of my regulars who have stopped doing pvts ended up getting blocked.

    I use to feel guilty about blocking guys who spent $$ but I've gotten over that. I think it really disrespectful and rude to come into a models room chat with her for 5-10mins or more and not go pvt. I don't like when guys do that or "stop by to say hi". It annoys me to high heavens. I know everyone falls on hard times but I prefer regulars not to come into my room unless they have money to spend. Most of my regulars know that I'm all about that cash and know that I highly HIGHLY dislike chit chat without a pvt/gold. If guys want to sit in my room and chit chat for more then 5-10mins then I make them send gold.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamourmilf View Post
    ... I might have to set my prices lower for a bit, and see how that works....
    NOOOOOO!!! Don't dooo ittttt!

    http://titsandsass.com/if-i-cant-sel...ning-specials/

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...-!!!!!!!!!!%29


    I

    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    Him: we could meet... im 5ft 9 sexy italian with a 8 inch love stick...imagine playing with me... how would you do it
    Me: I would cut off your dick and feed it to the pigs

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    ^That's right, bish. I'm a Veblen good.

    But in all seriousness, OP, every "reg" has his expiration date. Could it be something you're doing? Sure. More likely you're just experiencing the effects of economy & entitlement.

    Not sure which site you're on, but I'm guessing SM. Since gold shows, it's become a site-wide trend to entertain customers for free with the promise of a pay off. Go to a trade show & give out free samples. Eventually enough people will buy the product to make it worth all the free samples you're giving out, right? Sometimes. But if you're advertising free samples to people who can't afford the product in the first place, what you'll get is a lot of people coming to the trade show to collect a huge bag of goodies, they tell their friends about where to get all the free samples, and there are very few sales.

    In fact, if you're advertising free stuff for people who CAN afford it, oftentimes they won't. People who have money have it for a reason, and they won't part with it unless they have to, or you appeal to them as a luxury. My husband & I used to do business at shows where we catered to a wealthy crowd. You'd be surprised what happened. People could be VERY nasty about their samples. Arguing with one another over who got there first, wanting more than their fair share, getting really pushy about it all. And we made very little money from it.

    Not saying this is what you're doing. Just suggesting you're experiencing the effects of a site trend.

    All you can do is try making your appeal more elusive. If you're doing something to encourage them to come back to you over and over and sit in free chat, stop encouraging it. You don't have to be rude about it, but they're doing it b/c it's appealing to them for some reason. If you don't entertain for free, then they will start coming to you only when they want to spend. They know where you are.
    Last edited by Cam_Model_Jess; 02-13-2013 at 10:37 AM.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Thanks ladies for your imput! I just finished 2 hours of camming, and by taking Becky's advice-I lowered my rates a bit~Told people that it was a special a valentines day rate, and after tomorrow, my rate will go up again. I was in my usual back-to back long exclusives. Most were from repeats, plus i got a few newbies.
    It's either the economy, or I'm just not worth them spending their money on me~ I like to think it's the former.
    I am less burnt out today, than staying in free chat for up to an hour for a short prvt., because I was busy. No demands for standing, chit chat, turning, free samples, etc. that have been driving me insane lately.
    I read in a past post that by charging a higher rate, it attracts a better clientelle.Sadly, that hasn't been my experience.
    Lucky gals that can get the high rollers, but like I said earlier, most of my custies are under 30 years old.
    oh well, onward and upward. thanks again! Glam

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    Senior Member Rosexxxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Some are my regulars are doing the same thing. I think it must be the economy not you Glamourmilf. I am in the milf catagory too so most of my custies are under 30 years old. One of them I had to ban he was saying can you do a favor for me here in free chat.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    ^^ Thank You for Your insight loveshooks. Appreciate it very much! Glam

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    My way of dealing with it is to act friendly but aloof with guys that don't give me money; and like the sun shines out of the ass of the guys that do give me money on a regular basis.

    Guys aren't dumb, they know the score.
    No money = less/no attention.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Thanks so much for the links! The song from Tits and Sass is my new personal theme song.


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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Don't acknowledge them anymore until they take you exclusive or have been in private for awhile. Also, say "I'm going to start kicking those out who don't want to play!" in a playful tone, and kick him out. Do that a couple times he comes in and doesn't go pvt/exclusive and he will get the hint.

    However, if he's still paying here and there, definitely acknowledge him. I do that, and it makes guys feel special and they also almost instantly take me private or exclusive. I also enjoy talking a lot in free chat because I can often get a group of like 5 like-minded guys that, when one decides to take me private, the rest will follow and stay there. Since I already know what they like and they are all on the same page, I know how to keep them there and give them what they want. $$$$$

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Also if they start talking to much in freechat or ignore my advances to go pvt I'll tell them "if you don't click pvt in 5 to 10 sec then I'm going to kick you out". I'll start counting down by voice or text and they'll either leave or be like "wait wait wait don't do it" and will click pvt. Sometimes if I get to 1 and kick them out they'll come back and do a pvt. I shouldn't enjoy doing that but I do lol.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    Don't waste your time with these guys; they sap the energy from your room and you. I found out the hard way; so if they are a pain in the ass, I ban them. In the long run they just cost me $$ and piss me off and my negative attitude showed.

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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    I think it is a level of comfort. They go into prvt mode without taking you prvt. I am pleasant & happy to see them, but if they start without taking me prvt. I remind them they must take me prvt before I get naughty. This usually works best for me.

    I don't think it has anything to do with the economy at all. Because if you were not on he will just go to another girls room & take her prvt.

    These guys are horny, they have done this plenty of times. You are letting them get away with bad behavior & YOU CONTROL your room. you are in charge.

    Regulars are great! Most are not even loyal to their wives in real life, we can't expect them to be in this situation. Trust me they will be spending the money on someone. So If they are in your room again, you are doing something Right! But it is still up to you to convert them into a sale.

    Smooches,
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    Default Re: How Do You Handle A Custie Who Turns Lurker?~I'll Explain Inside

    I have a guy like that. He annoys me to much in free chat. So most of the stuff he says...I don't even say anything about anymore. Then he will say "did you just see what I wrote" I want to ban his ass! But guess what..last gold show I did he jumped into and was the high bidder. I think he waits for gold shows now..and I don't do them much. I get sooo annoyed at gold shows. Cheap fucking guys that want to just hang out and wait until the girl starts showing off to make the goal. It pisses me off! This guy will always give gold now when I try to get one going. I HATE gold shows because of all the showing off most girls have to do to get one going. I was so excited when they came out..and couldn't wait until Streamate let me do them. Now I could care less!

    With the guys who did lots of privates with me and then none for along time. My attention just starts to leave them. The longer they go without doing a show with me the worse it gets. I'm not here to freaking make friends and all that jazz. Then you get the stupid ones that think since they did one show..you owe them the world. Honestly this job makes me really hate men. Thats sad, but its the way I feel when I sign out. Last week I made a new rule about not changing into something special until you start paying. The guys that want that...are only in the show for about two minutes. I have never in my whole camming career had a man who asked for me to change into something else, stay longer then that. The idea about the 15 minute block for clothes change is a good one. I'm going to start using that.

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