Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 51 to 66 of 66

Thread: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

  1. #51
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    26
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    note to moderator: please delete this thread, for privacy purposes.

  2. #52
    God/dess roast's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,182
    Thanks
    14,733
    Thanked 11,294 Times in 1,925 Posts
    My Mood
    Hungover

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    you should flag your post - hit the triangle on the lower left with the exclamation point and then type in the box that comes up that you'd like for it to be taken down. there is only one mod in this section and doing that would bring your request to her attention when she signs in next.





    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    So how many stumps can you fit in your pussy?

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to roast For This Useful Post:


  4. #53
    Featured Member Incantatious's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,732
    Thanks
    5,214
    Thanked 8,267 Times in 1,351 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    My heart truly goes out to you; what a thoroughly nightmarish situation to be in. I hope that when you update you have some positive news.

    I am not going to lecture you on what I think you need to do.
    Nor am I going to berate your choices. I just wanted to offer my support - after seeing your partner fall under extremely negative criticism in this thread - for making your own decision to be the breadwinner.

    I myself am the sole provider for myself and my partner, and at this point in time I wouldn't have it any other way. - He is my rock and my moral support; he is there for me whenever I have a bad night, and I am more than happy to support him whilst he gets on his feet. But I need not explain myself.

    To think of anyone looking at a human being, and discarding them into this "mooching loser" box, all because you're / I'm a sex worker earning enough to happily provide, infuriates me. It takes nothing into account but the 'tags' assigned to people. And so you get categorized like this constantly - "unemployed male + providing female sex worker = ASSHOLE honey! Loser, bastard, sponging no-good man! Get outta there! I know... etc etc" - but unfortunately it's very vogue to do so.

    Hopefully it'll wear off once people can accept that life is not one-size-fits all, and that one's employment status does not, can not, and should not dictate or reflect on an individuals character, personality, or what they have to give.
    I have to live with the cruel comments of other people all the time because of this. Ironically, I somehow get them a lot from ladies who do, or at some point have, relied on a man to be the breadwinner for them whilst they sat on their asses and did what?... Oh yes, that's right! They did *Jack* *Shit*!

    Men have been the breadwinners / sole providers for women for how long? And during all that time, did us women have nothing of value or substance to offer in return for his work? ...At all? Of course we did. Did women face insults, belittlement and abuse for staying home cooking, cleaning, homemaking and supporting their partners? Hell. The Fuck. No! Because it was always assumed (and still is for the most part, if you happen to have a vagina) that she brought her own qualities into the home.
    And so, in 2013, there is nothing to say people shouldn't choose the way of life that best suits them if they wish for it.

    Just the same as the entitlement you deserve to be able to choose the job that best suits your needs, you are entitled to make the choice about whether or not you wish to be the sole provider. Your integrity should not be compromised in any way because you made a choice some others don't want for themselves. To attempt to demean your strength of character and that of your partners is unnecessarily insulting when I don't know you, your partner, or anything about your lives aside from a few paragraphs detailing a much, much more pressing issue.

    You - just as much as anyone else - deserve the freedom to be happy with your life in whichever way you see fit. Whether it is running your escort business, and / or being the sole provider of a house that's home to you and yours. You seem incredibly level-headed, intelligent and sharp among what I can only imagine is a traumatic experience. And I deeply hope you will be left in peace ~ to live your lives exactly as you wish.
    Last edited by Incantatious; 02-20-2013 at 03:09 AM. Reason: Had more to say.




  5. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Incantatious For This Useful Post:


  6. #54
    Featured Member zivlet's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    1,078
    Thanks
    769
    Thanked 1,353 Times in 542 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    Quote Originally Posted by roast View Post
    I think what sugarmouse is getting at is there is a lot of detail in this post - plus you mentioned your region, age, location, cars, family members, how you and your fiance met, what he is studying, etc. If theyre going from forum / site to site looking you up, it is probably unlikely but it isnt inconceivable. Maybe youre being discreet and a lot of the detail is incorrect, but in case not it isnt too wild of a suggestion.

    Kind of like how they just simply googled his cell number to find this - ittd just be googling phrases. If someone is enraged and obsessive enough, 50 pages of tenuous google results isnt too insane to look through, ykwim. A lot of "hacking" is just patience and slowly figuring out human negligence.

    If you attempt to 'hack' their emails (aka guess their passwords), on Gmail and keep failing, theyll get an alert of the IP address trying to gain access. Which will exacerbate the drama. Also if you dont know their emails, you cant even attempt, right? And they probably all call each other regularly so... what Im saying is just remove this idea from your list of options altogether as a lot of the advice here is spot on and way more realistic.

    Sorry youre going through this.

    This, worries me:



    Of course he isnt? He is in a way more comfortable position than you are? Youre the most vulnerable party here.

    Your "I dont know about that" instinct is smart, dont chase it away - bc he is just talking about himself here. What if you two break up? What if it is a messy breakup? What if their are child custody issues? What if you have a minor argument one night and he vents to one of them - and they use that minor argument as justification to go beserk. People like his family (from how you described their behavior up until now) dont just drop this kind of discovery. For your own self-protection, you need to worry more than him.

    Bear in mind they could screenshot everything now and retain it as evidence. Yes, get your ads taken down, maybe they havent taken images of them yet , but dont count on these URLs being gone as meaning that the evidence vanished.

    Often couples working together in such an isolating field or where the guy is relying on the woman for his income there is this "we're in this together" "us against the world" mentality when 9 times out of 10 (10 out of 10) the woman is against the world and the guy is just there. This is one of those instances?
    I agree with all this post-and Roast yes, that's definitely what I was getting at.
    It's unlikely that they will find this, but it's definitely not impossible! All the escorts on this forum found SW somehow. If his parents are determined and have any inkling you'll search the internet for help, if they're determined to make your life difficult (which it sounds like they are!) then this post is detrimental as it explains how you're feeling, people's responses-they could have a field day if they did. Anyways you've already said you want to delete it so moot point now.
    Good luck, you CAN sort this out-it's not the end of the world and it will be over soon. Regards what people have said about your boyfriend, only you can decide where you want to go with that and I won't give advice as I don't feel I know enough to.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to zivlet For This Useful Post:


  8. #55
    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    4,942
    Thanks
    20,254
    Thanked 7,454 Times in 2,760 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    He isn't going to choose his mother/family over you. Maybe for now while he uses you for all the money you're worth, but not forever.

  9. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to arielbriel For This Useful Post:


  10. #56
    Featured Member Incantatious's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,732
    Thanks
    5,214
    Thanked 8,267 Times in 1,351 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    He isn't going to choose his mother/family over you. Maybe for now while he uses you for all the money you're worth, but not forever.
    I'm sorry for my bluntness here, but I am sincerely curious - how do you know this and what drew you to such a heavy conclusion?




  11. #57
    God/dess LAChloe's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2007
    Location
    los angeles
    Posts
    2,107
    Thanks
    5,428
    Thanked 2,927 Times in 999 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    I'm only going to post once in this thread bc I refuse to go back and forth but OP- Yes, what your man is doing is pimping. Don't worry, when I was your age I supported my boyfriend, too.

    I loved him sooooo much and we had the most passionate relationship. For years, yes years, I spent the most prime years of my life believing that what I was doing was so noble and romantic...LOL. I'm even embarrassed to write this but I supported my boyfriend who was a musician. Honestly, he was very, very talented and to this day that is the only nice thing I will ever say about him. I was making killer money and he swore that one day when he "made it" I was never going to have to work another day. I supported him while I had a vanilla job and when I was dancing for a short period. He has issues and addictions and family problems and I really believed that he would not be able to function is society without me. I loved him so much that I could not "sell him out" like everyone else did in his life (and yes, I had the pleasure of dealing with his family's disfunction, too).

    There was just something that was so romantic to me about it. We were a "team". I loved him sooooooo much that I was going to do whatever I had to do to make his dream come true- and when his dreams came true I would get to reap the benefits.

    But I got sick and tired of supporting someone. I did it for yearssssss. We had a child together. Then I was supporting 3 people and taking care of a baby. I realized that I had dreams that I was neglecting because I was so focused on his dreams happening. I wasn't loving ME and he was sucking the life out of me. At the end of the day, I was taking care of EVERYONE and EVERYTHING but myself. That's a shitty way to live.

    Well, guess what- we broke up. It was the worst break up of my life. There still is no one I have ever loved more them him and that was over 6 years ago. But he was a loser. A mooch. He never made it. He still makes music and draws and paints and I am sure dreams...but he is making like $16/hr as a mechanic. He is a loser. I deserve better. I could go on and on about this but at the end of the day, I had to figure out how to love me and put myself first. I am still a work in progress but I have come so far.

    Codependency is real...but I know that if you want to heal and are will to put in the time and work you can. I am proof.


  12. #58
    Featured Member Incantatious's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,732
    Thanks
    5,214
    Thanked 8,267 Times in 1,351 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    Problems and misunderstandings start happening when people project their experiences and feelings onto others. And it's happened a lot here. -

    People alert her to the fact that apparently, her boyfriend is unsuitable for her. That she is being mistreated. They then regale her with a story about their own experiences with this boyfriend 'type'. They then give sympathy and advice on how to leave said boyfriend type. < I can understand that all of this comes from a good place, with good intentions, but all of this is impossible unless you assume that she needs this advice in the first place. None of this goes by the assumption that she is capable of making her own decisions about who she dates. It is assumed that she is misled and perhaps naive; her love cannot be mature; she has her head in the clouds about his competence (because she is providing for them both), and she is delusional (her thought is all clogged by rose-tinted puppy love).

    The point I was trying to make in my past post, is that she deserves to be left to live how she and her partner want to - without interference. That her choice in being the breadwinner should not change anything. She doesn't deserve to be patronized by having people offer 'sympathy', pity, tips, advice on how to ditch someone they have no idea about, and have no place to do so.

    After all, isn't the level of personal intrusion this lady is enduring enough as it is? And suddenly now her boyfriend is as asshole? And also: there are no two ways about this? Does she get a say in this? Does she get to defend her decision to live this way? (It is a deep shame that she has to at all. Again).
    She opened up about one problem, but has found people go ahead and throw their big, clanging, self-made 'Oprah wrenches' into a completely different area of her personal life. Not just any, but one that she was proud to speak of (her boyfriend being her driver and her security). This is disgraceful.

    Obviously, people have experience with this. They know. They're right. You're right. 100%. Because you all have different lives, different priorities, different partners, different experiences. For those bringing their own experiences into this: It doesn't matter what life you led, what choices you made, what type of sponging dick-bag your boyfriend was those years ago. Your life is not the OPs. Your choices are not the OPs. She already has a life of her own, and one that she was pretty darn happy with. I just think to myself: "What is this? Who asked these people to comment on this?" - If she wanted people to comment on how much of an apparent loser-douche her partner is, she'd ask for it herself.
    Last edited by Incantatious; 02-21-2013 at 12:01 PM.




  13. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Incantatious For This Useful Post:


  14. #59
    Veteran Member Joanna_Kaary's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Cleveland Ohio
    Posts
    372
    Thanks
    929
    Thanked 608 Times in 220 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    We do all have different lives but they say if you learn from other people's mistakes you don't have to make them all yourself. So if nine girls who supported their bf with industry money got fucked over, that doesn't mean the same thing will happen to the tenth girl but it also wouldn't hurt the tenth girl to be a little extra cautious. I don't know the OP's bf. He could be a genuinely good guy. But because getting fucked over when you are making good money (and not just by boyfriends) is such a common occurence, its a good idea for a girl to think long, hard, and often about whether she's making the right choice when she's supporting ANYone who *might* be mooching (bfs, friends, relitives... cats, etc.).

  15. The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Joanna_Kaary For This Useful Post:


  16. #60
    Featured Member Incantatious's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,732
    Thanks
    5,214
    Thanked 8,267 Times in 1,351 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    ^ Amazing. That is the most tactful, sincere and diplomatic way that sentiment has been put on this thread yet...

    Although yes, my problem was the fact that people took issue with her partner at all. - The OP was already enduring a situation in which people were taking very serious, very hurtful shots into areas of her life that she was otherwise completely happy with. She goes onto a forum for help. Only for a fresh area of her life (one that - similarly to her work - she was again, happy with) is insulted and heavily scrutinized.

    I figure if someone says "Sooo.. I have to pay for all of this stuff for my boyf becuz he's outta work and has been since I met him. He has no plans for the future, and I'm finding it hard to cope" - that's probably generally be where you might start cranking out the "honeys" and "sweetie's".
    If someone says "This is how things are done in my life", and they state that they're happy with that, you generally leave them to it, because responsible adults who are happy with their living circumstances do NOT require some kind of intrusive, nannying intervention from other adults.




  17. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Incantatious For This Useful Post:


  18. #61
    God/dess roast's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,182
    Thanks
    14,733
    Thanked 11,294 Times in 1,925 Posts
    My Mood
    Hungover

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    Sorry to bump this anymore as she wants this to be deleted but I want clarify one element of focusing on the boyfriend:

    His family intervened on him to leave her, made escorting and his involvement (if he disclosed his? Im not clear if he did) her fault, and there is a risk she'll end up in a legal entanglement or stalked. His position seems to be that it isnt a big deal, which is false. Not only is it not that big of a deal but it isnt bc his parents wouldnt do anything to hurt him. Which removes her risk entirely from the situation. Similarly he seems to not be... reacting to what has happened, and most of the burden of freaking out is on her... when it is his family.

    Having been in a family where I had them outright reject a partner of mine who I loved - you react. You do something, you say something, you intervene, you advocate for the person you love, you dont leave the bulk of the burden on them: he doesnt appear to have done that in this very scandalous situation. Which for me, is where my focus on her behaving as a separate entity is critical. Im not terribly invested in their arrangement, but his response to this is dismissive (or ignorant) and overly passive given how grave this is. He could at the very least react bc it is threatening both of their livelihoods ($$$)... he hasnt. All of the planning seems to be on her which is what brings her to SW to ask for feedback. Most of the ideas and what do I dos are all hers and ours.

    I think what people are focusing on is her own self-realization and trying to undo the dependency clear in her posts: romantics are rare and beautiful, but arrest and stalking is life altering. You dont have your soul mate in jail. Y If he hasnt reacted now when the risk of stalking and arrest is hypothetical (at this time), how will he react when it is very real? As she's said she doesnt have anyone really except for him then looking to their relationship isnt off-limits to commenting on... as she's implying he is her primary support system.

    I cant give advice while simultaneously pretending his lack of reaction is wonderful and off-limits. That's why I took direct issue with his reaction. Their working arrangement is their arrangement, but him dismissng the importance of this makes commenting on their relationship a component of advice. Even if it is "consider this possibility", she can dismiss it (as she should as a romantic) but that doesnt mean it shouldnt be brought up.

    If we're wrong, we're wrong - but she's defended her relationship well up to this point so it didnt shake her position at all, so this kind of feedback wasnt unwelcome. The intentions behind it arent coming from a disrespectful place and the impact of it seemed to be helpful to her (the overall advice, not relationship specific).
    Last edited by roast; 02-22-2013 at 12:21 PM.





    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    So how many stumps can you fit in your pussy?

  19. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to roast For This Useful Post:


  20. #62
    Senior Member Apollopink's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    102
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked 33 Times in 13 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    before this thread gets deleted I just wanted to say that Obenta is killin it in this thread she is wise

  21. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Apollopink For This Useful Post:


  22. #63
    Veteran Member Obenta's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    429
    Thanks
    889
    Thanked 565 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    Thank you. Being older helps. I've been around the block a few hundred times.

    I hate to see shitty things happen to people. I hope the OP puts herself first.

  23. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Obenta For This Useful Post:


  24. #64
    Veteran Member BANHammerGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    527
    Thanks
    405
    Thanked 654 Times in 268 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    since this was never deleted, whatever happened with your situation?

    *stolen from AutumnAmbrosia*

  25. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BANHammerGoddess For This Useful Post:


  26. #65
    Veteran Member Obenta's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    429
    Thanks
    889
    Thanked 565 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    I'm curious too. The OP seemed nice. I hope things turned out in her favor and didn't turn into a terrible life lesson.

  27. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Obenta For This Useful Post:


  28. #66
    Featured Member dixievista's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    the beach ;)
    Posts
    727
    Thanks
    974
    Thanked 618 Times in 301 Posts

    Default Re: Escort Emergency! My fiance's parents found out everything

    Way too much for me to read, but I totally sympathize with your situation! You live and you learn, but luckily everyone on this board is smart and can guide you in the right direction. Good luck!!!

    So if you want to be with me
    With these things there’s no telling
    We just have to wait and see
    But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
    Than waiting to win the lottery
    Besides maybe this time is different
    I mean I really think you like me

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-17-2012, 08:58 AM
  2. My BFs Parents Found Out Im A Stripper
    By iambonbon05 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-17-2008, 10:56 PM
  3. My parents found out and they are going crazy
    By mollyzmoon in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 50
    Last Post: 06-07-2008, 07:39 PM
  4. parents found out!
    By sexysydney in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 05-30-2008, 10:40 AM
  5. Replies: 41
    Last Post: 01-08-2005, 06:36 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •