Hi! I am new to the boards and also very new to dancing. I just started this past Saturday and last night was my third shift. This is going to be a very long post, because I had an incident occur last night and I don't really know what to make of it, but I was really upset by it and I'm hoping you guys can help me. I don't want it to discourage me from continuing to dance...
My first night, my friend "trained" me. She had me follow her around and told guys I was new and practice dancing. We even did a VIP together. I was encouraged to drink but never got too drunk or sloppy. At the end of the night I blew a .086 and I was told that I was completely fine in terms of how much I drank and how I acted.
The second night I hardly drank at all. I blew a .006. This night I tried to work on my dances but I couldn't help but feel like guys were disappointed after I danced for them, and looking around the room, I saw that other girls were doing much more. I expressed this to my friend and told her it was hard for me to relax because I was very fuzzy on what exactly I'm ALLOWED to do, how much I am allowed to touch the customer, etc. And it was resulting in prude, boring, unsexy dances.
So my third night I took some advice from the girls. I made more eye contact, touched their shoulders, their legs, and would put my knee up on their leg to dance a bit higher on them at times. I was doing much better and my customers were much happier. I was probably 10 minutes away from landing my second VIP of the night when the bouncer pulled me back and asked me how much I had had to drink. I explained that I had just bought new shoes and they hurt, so I had them buckled loosely and I had tripped a couple times. I assured him that my clumsiness was just because I am new and not used to walking in 6 inch heels, not because I am drunk. He replied that that was not his concern. He said "I have seen you dance before and you were much more 'touchy-feely' tonight." I was so offended. I said "Of course I am doing more, the last time you saw me dance was my first night... I'm still learning."
He made me blow and I blew a .09. He told me I had to stay in the back and eat a baked potato. I was upset and told the house mom I did not understand why he pulled me off. Not only did everyone say that I was not acting drunk at all, but I was doing less during lap dances than more than half the girls out there. I told her he made me feel like a whore. She assured me that he would be told that he was inappropriate and that he should never speak to me that way again. She told me that it sounded like I had just taken advice from the wrong girls, and that we are not really allowed to touch the customers at all. She said it was no big deal, that it happens all the time with new girls trying to learn the boundaries and rules and balance it with what most people do and what makes them money. She said usually the bouncer will just tap you and let you know that something you're doing is against the rules, and that's all. She didn't know why he went so far out of his way to pull me off the floor. Not only did he insult me, but he never specifically told me what I was doing wrong so I wasn't even able to learn anything from it.
A half an hour later she said I could go back on the floor but she had to check with the bouncer first. But when she asked, he said he wanted me to tip out and call it a night. There was still two and a half hours left!
I'm extremely upset about this. I know he made me lose a ton of money. The girls all told me I was not acting too drunk and that my dances were not too racey compared to what most girls do. They said that bouncers like to flex their power, especially with new people, to show that they can do whatever they want. They said he probably made me tip out for the night because he had gotten reprimanded for the way he spoke to me and he was pissed at me. Everyone says he's usually really mean and rude.
I know that from now on I am not going to drink as much. I don't really like to drink very much anyway, and the girls gave me some advice on getting non-alcoholic beverages when customers buy me a drink, because I was feeling obligated to drink more than I want. I also know that at least until I've been there a little while I am going to follow the rules more than what other girls do because I guess they're allowed to get away with it and I'm not? But what do I do about a bouncer like this? Was I doing anything wrong? And how do I make sure nothing like this happens again?
What really bothers me the most about it is that last night was the first night I felt like I was actually doing it right! I was making great money, customers were liking me, and I felt like I had figured out what worked. So to be told that I was doing it so wrong that I had to leave, is not only humiliating but totally confusing! I'm nervous to go back again, even though they said I am in no trouble for the future, because I'm just confused and nervous now. Is there any advice you guys can give me?



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this was the same bouncer as the night before so when i spoke when him, i apologized for the other night and told him i was struggling with the learning curve and he said he would help if he saw me making any mistakes. he said i didnt have to tip him out for the night since that guy ripped me off. i thanked him for sticking up for me but told him that it wasn't his fault and that wasn't necessary but he insisted. he hugged me and gave me some words of encouragement 
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