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Thread: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

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    Default First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    Hi! I am new to the boards and also very new to dancing. I just started this past Saturday and last night was my third shift. This is going to be a very long post, because I had an incident occur last night and I don't really know what to make of it, but I was really upset by it and I'm hoping you guys can help me. I don't want it to discourage me from continuing to dance...

    My first night, my friend "trained" me. She had me follow her around and told guys I was new and practice dancing. We even did a VIP together. I was encouraged to drink but never got too drunk or sloppy. At the end of the night I blew a .086 and I was told that I was completely fine in terms of how much I drank and how I acted.

    The second night I hardly drank at all. I blew a .006. This night I tried to work on my dances but I couldn't help but feel like guys were disappointed after I danced for them, and looking around the room, I saw that other girls were doing much more. I expressed this to my friend and told her it was hard for me to relax because I was very fuzzy on what exactly I'm ALLOWED to do, how much I am allowed to touch the customer, etc. And it was resulting in prude, boring, unsexy dances.

    So my third night I took some advice from the girls. I made more eye contact, touched their shoulders, their legs, and would put my knee up on their leg to dance a bit higher on them at times. I was doing much better and my customers were much happier. I was probably 10 minutes away from landing my second VIP of the night when the bouncer pulled me back and asked me how much I had had to drink. I explained that I had just bought new shoes and they hurt, so I had them buckled loosely and I had tripped a couple times. I assured him that my clumsiness was just because I am new and not used to walking in 6 inch heels, not because I am drunk. He replied that that was not his concern. He said "I have seen you dance before and you were much more 'touchy-feely' tonight." I was so offended. I said "Of course I am doing more, the last time you saw me dance was my first night... I'm still learning."

    He made me blow and I blew a .09. He told me I had to stay in the back and eat a baked potato. I was upset and told the house mom I did not understand why he pulled me off. Not only did everyone say that I was not acting drunk at all, but I was doing less during lap dances than more than half the girls out there. I told her he made me feel like a whore. She assured me that he would be told that he was inappropriate and that he should never speak to me that way again. She told me that it sounded like I had just taken advice from the wrong girls, and that we are not really allowed to touch the customers at all. She said it was no big deal, that it happens all the time with new girls trying to learn the boundaries and rules and balance it with what most people do and what makes them money. She said usually the bouncer will just tap you and let you know that something you're doing is against the rules, and that's all. She didn't know why he went so far out of his way to pull me off the floor. Not only did he insult me, but he never specifically told me what I was doing wrong so I wasn't even able to learn anything from it.

    A half an hour later she said I could go back on the floor but she had to check with the bouncer first. But when she asked, he said he wanted me to tip out and call it a night. There was still two and a half hours left!

    I'm extremely upset about this. I know he made me lose a ton of money. The girls all told me I was not acting too drunk and that my dances were not too racey compared to what most girls do. They said that bouncers like to flex their power, especially with new people, to show that they can do whatever they want. They said he probably made me tip out for the night because he had gotten reprimanded for the way he spoke to me and he was pissed at me. Everyone says he's usually really mean and rude.

    I know that from now on I am not going to drink as much. I don't really like to drink very much anyway, and the girls gave me some advice on getting non-alcoholic beverages when customers buy me a drink, because I was feeling obligated to drink more than I want. I also know that at least until I've been there a little while I am going to follow the rules more than what other girls do because I guess they're allowed to get away with it and I'm not? But what do I do about a bouncer like this? Was I doing anything wrong? And how do I make sure nothing like this happens again?

    What really bothers me the most about it is that last night was the first night I felt like I was actually doing it right! I was making great money, customers were liking me, and I felt like I had figured out what worked. So to be told that I was doing it so wrong that I had to leave, is not only humiliating but totally confusing! I'm nervous to go back again, even though they said I am in no trouble for the future, because I'm just confused and nervous now. Is there any advice you guys can give me?

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    sounds like the girls were telling the truth about bouncers often wanting to flex their muscles and use their power over the dancers there. i've seen it a lot of times..i don't know whether its jealousy they are getting 12 bucks an hour, or they just love controlling and embarrassing women but that's my experience. get a clear description of the rules from the manager. im not sure what the rules are at your club, but bouncers don't have that power anywhere that i've been, its the managers decision to send you home or have you go out back..

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    Veteran Member Seatortuga's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    #1: Does your club have mandatory breathalyzers??
    #2: This bouncer is flexing his muscles, in hopes you will subsequently tip more. Fuck Him. Can you talk to his boss?

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    They breathalyze us at the end of the night just to make sure we aren't driving if we're above .08 but I don't drive. I see girls blow .12 there all the time and they don't give a damn. I asked our house mom what's the limit you can blow at work and she said there isn't one really, it depends on the girl and how she handles herself. She said that's why he used it against me that .09 is "too high to be on the floor" but that's BS because I was completely composed and coherent according to everyone.

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    this guy obviously has problems. go over him to the manager..you can't afford his ridiculous power tripping attitude, he's sabotaging you at work..are there any other clubs around? the whole constant breathalyzing thing sounds like a bit much. or better yet, just don't drink at all, then he has no excuses!

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    So the rules at the club are that you aren't allowed to touch the customer AT ALL but I haven't seen a single dancer follow that. On my first night I got tapped on the shoulder and told I wasn't allowed to "straddle" a guy, meaning just that I was dancing for him with my legs on either side of one of his legs. But if I wasn't new, no one would care about something that small. All the girls at least touch shoulders and knees on the customers when they're dancing which is all I did. I also got a lot closer to them than I was on nights before and when I would put my knee up on their leg, I would put my lips by their ear because that's been a big hit and guys love it. But I don't think that's too "touchy-feely" is it? Should I just bring it down a notch whenever that particular bouncer is woking, at least until I've been there a few weeks?

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    Senior Member xoxoroxie's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    Its like when you start even a reg. job I suppose at your club, more is expected of you as far as standards because you're new
    xoxo rox$ie

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoroxie View Post
    Its like when you start even a reg. job I suppose at your club, more is expected of you as far as standards because you're new
    This. It's not very logical, but the club doesn't want new girls to start breaking the rules right off the bat. You're an unknown commodity, and they don't know if that'll lead you to doing worse. With the other girls, they're known commodities who don't go too far and who probably consistently make the club money, this there's a big incentive to let them keep doing what they're doing. There's also the possibility that, while you noticed the other girls doing more, the bouncers weren't in the back when they were doing that. Or that they're tipping the bouncer a lot to look the other way - he's basically told you that you'll have to do that to keep working on his shifts if you intend to give those kind of dances.

    This is one of those rate ways where stripping is like all other jobs - always start off on your best behaviour, following the rules to a T. Then, after you've proven yourself and been around for a while, you'll have a better idea of what's not actually allowed - and it's very possible that it's not what your friend said and the other girls you saw we're doing.

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    Shanna dior, your answer makes a lot of sense. I do think it's a good idea to follow the rules when I'm new even if some of the girls have given me tips that include breaking them. Thanks for your help. I'm working tonight and I'm a little less nervous now.

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    Do let us know how things go

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    It went well the next night, but another stroke of beginner's bad luck hit me. I guess I have to learn lessons the hard way in the job. I danced for a guy 8 songs in a row and he never paid me for them.. he claimed he didn't know they charged but the bouncer says he told him when he walked in. The bouncer told me to go ahead and head to the back (it was closing time) and he would get my money. But he didn't get any of it, i guess the guy had none. I danced for 8 songs and instead of $80 i got the $5 he tipped me this was the same bouncer as the night before so when i spoke when him, i apologized for the other night and told him i was struggling with the learning curve and he said he would help if he saw me making any mistakes. he said i didnt have to tip him out for the night since that guy ripped me off. i thanked him for sticking up for me but told him that it wasn't his fault and that wasn't necessary but he insisted. he hugged me and gave me some words of encouragement i was really upset about not getting paid but i found out that i should get paid after every dance or at the most two dances. so i guess this is how you learn.. i feel really stupid.

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    ^ im so sorry this happened! it happened to me too once. if you can help it though, don't have anyone else collect your money for you, they can just as easily pocket it and say " oh well, he wouldn't pay up"..i understand you had to go in the back, that really sucks.

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    Omg I didn't even think of that. When he told me to go in the back and that he would handle it I really did want to stay and make sure the guy didn't try to lie his way out of it or something. Also if he told the boulder he didn't have the money I wanted to point out that he was considering buying a VIP if we had not been only 15 minutes to close. So if he could afford VIP then he definitely had the money for my dances.

    But this bouncer was the one who pulled me off the floor two nights before so I was afraid to defy him I guess. Do you think bouncer would do that kind of thing? Pocket the money? I always thought bouncers were on the girls' side but it sounds a little like you have to watch out for them.

    /-:

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    most of the bouncers i've worked with have been honest and kind, but i never trust people. ive seen girls who do double dances say " you just on stage, ill bring you your half of the money" and pocket it and say " he wouldn't pay !", so i don't trust anyone! i really don't know because i haven't worked in your club ( im guessing)but be careful!

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    Default Re: First Post -- Bouncer gave me a hard time my first week...

    ^Everyone is always going to look out for #1 first, so OP, you should get into the habit of doing the same. I don't trust anyone else with my money, and that's not a bad habit for you to get into either.

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