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Thread: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

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    Member Brandyf's Avatar
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    Cell Phone I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    I had my first audition and I was so scared. I met the manager mark and he was so hot and it made me do nervous. So I aired till deana got there, I've spoken to him before. I got on stage and I failed !! I took pole dancing a year ago, I knew I could do it. I am an 8 and most girls there were a 7. I was so nervous about bring on stage. I should be ok with it, I did ple fitness last year. The girl Amanda picked my out my outfit for me. I got on stage and I failed. Go me! They told me I need to tone up. Now I can't fly out next week to go to my my besst friends wedding. My self esteem is shot. I don't know what to do. I can't go now. The manager said the other managers said no. 2 out of three. Two out of three said no !!! Bye bye self esteem. What do I do?!?

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    Calm down and try a different club?

    And I'm not sure being "an 8" in a room of alleged 7s is much to get uppity about... Regardless, rejection is part of the package, even for "10s."

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    Member Brandyf's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    I know but I really wanted it ... So bad

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    Then keep trying! Go somewhere else tomorrow night.

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    understand that no matter what that club says. another club will say yes immediately many clubs simply hire you for showing up. There aren't many strippers who never heard no, even after being hired. Try another club and get in the mirror at home and see how sexy you are. put on something cute and put on your sexy face next time you go to the store and see how many eyes you catch if you feel you need some more confirmation in how tempting and luring you are dancing and pole tricks aren't usually a necessity. you learn as you go and get better while you get money. No can come with anything you try but you always try again.

    You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.

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    God/dess LAChloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    what city are you in?

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    Thumbs up Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    understand that no matter what that club says. another club will say yes if you feel the need to tone do it or suck it in on stage and work on getting tone while your working. I've only worked 4 shifts in my stripping career so far and I've seen several guts magically appear in the dressing room as well as noticing myself toning when I never workout. many clubs simply hire you for showing up, (i didn't even take my coat off ). There aren't many ( if any at all) strippers who have never heard no, even after being hired. Try another club. I had an esteem buster as well but I cried it out and acted my way through it. get in the mirror at home and experiment find moves that look and feel sexy. put on something cute and put on your sexy face next time you go to the store or take a stroll through your city and see how many eyes you catch if you feel you need some more confirmation in how tempting and luring you are. dancing and pole tricks aren't usually a necessity. you learn as you go and get better while you get money. No can come with anything you try but you always try again.

    You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    shit. I'm typically in the top three girls when I work at a place for any period of time (sometimes less, sometimes I'm the top girl for dances/vips, just depends.) Even I hear the word no sometimes when travelling to different clubs. Sometimes yeah, I need to tone up, sometimes they've got too many girls with my hair color, and sometimes there is no rhyme or reason.

    You want to go to your friend's wedding? Then stop crying, get off your ass and go find another club.
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    Quote Originally Posted by FiendishGyrator View Post
    shit. I'm typically in the top three girls when I work at a place for any period of time (sometimes less, sometimes I'm the top girl for dances/vips, just depends.) Even I hear the word no sometimes when travelling to different clubs. Sometimes yeah, I need to tone up, sometimes they've got too many girls with my hair color, and sometimes there is no rhyme or reason.

    You want to go to your friend's wedding? Then stop crying, get off your ass and go find another club.
    THAT x 1000.

    Apologies if I sound like a cold hard bitch, but if you can't take the word "no" or rejection, you are going to have a very, very hard time in the club. You can't go running to the back crying if a guy says no to a dance. You will not be everybody's cup of tea. Maybe this particular management likes washboard abs and while you may be prettier face-wise, your abs aren't up to their par.
    Also, this "I'm an 8 and they're 7s" doesn't mean shit. This job is about sales, personality, and not tripping over yourself on stage. One "grade" up or down ain't gonna make much difference... I have seen "5s" bank many times.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    Just try another place. Stripping is about being determined to get money and you've got to find a spot to work. That other club is useless to you ( try not to stress about it !). It happens to everyone.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    You can always try later too. I've come back to clubs and gotten a yes after an initial no.

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    I need to hear this as well..been rejected at clubs and regular jobs..on to the next


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    1)Stop being a cry baby. You want to run with the big girls, act like it.
    2)Rejection is a part of the business. Even I have to hear it sometimes. Just because you are an "8", the guy might want the "7" for whatever reason. She might suck dick, she might be a great conversationalist, who the fuck knows? Get used to it or get a vanilla job.
    3)Echo above sentiments. If it's an option try another club.
    4)Hit the gym.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    I'm sorry you got told NO on your first audition. That does hurt.

    I've heard no many many times. Even after years of stripping, going into an audition is always hard. And without fail every time I get told NO for whatever reason (tone up, nose job, fix your hair, not our type, lose 10 lbs, etc) I cry. Yep-I cried every time. But you know what? I didn't cry for long. I didn't quit. I just packed up my shit and tried another club. Did I get a nose job? NO. I did hit the gym harder, I did fix my hair, I did NOT lose my glasses. Pick and choose what you want to work on. Managers are not gods. They don't everything-as a matter of fact most of them are on some sort of power trip and are complete assholes for no reason.

    Just try again. If you want advice on choosing a club, let us know where you are and post in Club Chat and we'll try to help you out.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    I agree with most of what the others have said.

    Also, try not to get hung up with comparing your appearance with the other dancers you work with. Men think differently than we do. A '10' to us might be a '5' to them and vice-versa. Some nights you'll feel like a Super-star and others like you can't give it away. You have to be level headed and think about the end result.

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    I want to say, I've been interviewing for vanilla jobs..talk about rejection, sheesh you think the club mgrs. are bad??

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    I want to say, I've been interviewing for vanilla jobs..talk about rejection, sheesh you think the club mgrs. are bad??
    LOL this is so true! I feel ya, whirlerz. :/

    And brings me to...

    Rejection isn't just in THIS industry, it's everywhere. So you might as well learn how best to cope with it at one point or another in your life, because it's inevitable. Stripping, consequently, is a very valuable tool to help learn to process rejection in a way that works for you, because it's very "sink or swim." Every dancer gets rejected multiple times/night at work, no matter how hot/big breasted/toned/blonde/blue/polka-dotted they are. Every job seeker has their resume's tossed in the waste bin at some point or another, and every entrepreneur fails miserably the majority of the time.

    I'm sorry you got rejected, it hurts. I love this industry most of the time, but I cried after going home after day shift today because the pressure/stress of multiple life-things sort of culminated and was tipped over the edge by my first <$100 shift in a very long time. So don't let people tell you that you need to toughen up or get out -- that's not necessarily the case. I don't consider myself a very "tough" person, but I'm still happy and successful in this industry more often than not.

    Forgive yourself for failing the first time, because it was your first time! And go try again at another club, the sooner the better to get that ticket. I would advise not ever having "those girls were 7's and I'm an 8" mentality EVER again though. Because one day you're going to show up at work with a bunch of "9's" and "10's" and suddenly not feel so hot, and you'll feel even worse one night when "6's" and "5's" are walking around with garters that are way heavier than yours. You can't compare yourself to other girls you work with, even if it's initially for an ego boost, because eventually it'll bite you in the ass.

    Besides, I've never understood the number rating thing. I've gotten everything from 4 to 11 depending on who's saying it, and it's mostly annoying in general to assign a number to hotness because it's so subjective! It's like psychological studies where they try to quantify an emotion as "70% positive" or something. It makes no sense! Beauty is no numbers game.
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    What she said. My mantra at work (and in life) is 'every no gets me closer to a yes'. We sell ourselves all the time, not just at work and sales is a numbers game. Learn to accept rejection and take it as a normal part of life. It's not that you are bad, it's that yours and the clubs idea of what girls they like were different. And it's okay. Take it as a chance to improve your confidence/body/whatever. Keep trying and you will succeed for sure. Just don't give up.
    "Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them." - Dream for an Insomniac

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    You didnt fail,atleast you tried thats a accomplishment alone.Be proud of your self.Alot of people dont have the guts to audition at a strip club.The managers most likely just want more experienced dancers.Maybe start at a dive bar,just to learn to dance and get the experience

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    Dont get upset.. I have been told i need to tone by a few clubs.. I am not even a big girl.. I'm a size 7! I have even been told I cant dance by some clubs.. Sometimes its good to hear negative things because there will be times customers will say no & say rude things as well.. I had one guy ask me if I was pregnant..!! So just calm down this can be a harsh world if you dont have confidence in yourself!!!!

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    Hey everyone. I wanted to give you an update. Well I decided to try the other club that I have been to around here. I decided to take all of you amazing girls advice. The main thing I took was from one of the Newbe threads, stay SOBER! My first audition I drank thinking it would calm my nerves. Nope it made me a emotional wreak after I was told no. So I went to the other club and I was actually comfortable. The manager sat with me for about 30 min talking about normal things. I had shoes and clothes and he let me audition. I had so much fun! I met another newbie dancer that went with me to change. She did a set first and then I did one as well. She talked me through some things, reminding me to play with my hair and small stuff. I laughed and had a blast. I have never felt so empowered and on top of the world. I felt confident and I could see some of my insecurities leaving me. I was offered a job! They do a schedule and said as soon as I get back from Cali I can start. I left and then called my brother to tell him. I didn;t want him to find out from someone else. And I texted my aunt that I thought would care and my cousin that I know goes there. They support me and I plan on doing this only sober. I am so happy. I see some things changing in me and my life about to happen. Thanks girls!

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    ^Congrats . Good luck with everything and start reading up on the newbie board and hustle hut! It's good that you know that alcohol doesn't agree with you and have made a conscious decision not to drink at work, that takes initiative.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    That's great! Just hang in there! Now that you got the job start hitting the gym and getting toned. I don't wanna sound harsh but you wanna look your best even if you passed and got hired at this place. Don't get me wrong I'm ALWAYS doing new things to improve my looks. There's always room for improvement.

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    Member Brandyf's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    I'm actually in the plane to LA right now, I brought my running shoes. Gonna be nice to get out and run again

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    Senior Member Holly_V's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed and I'm do depressed! Can't stop crying

    Well done babe, remember it's just as much about confidence and personality as looks. Good luck

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