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Thread: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

  1. #1
    Senior Member funnymoney's Avatar
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    Default Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I'm starting to really like and want to get more into being a Mistress (being a Domina) but not sure how to angle that into money. Are Mistresses doing pro Domme work with in person sessions for a set fee? Are Mistresses doing Sugar Baby kind of deals? Are Mistresses doing escorting to get their money? Are Mistresses stripping for their money? Are Mistresses camming to get money? Are Mistresses selling videos and pictures of themselves online to get their money? Are Mistresses going into Financial Domination and getting money just sent to them by their slaves and if so, how and where do you get the subs and slaves?

    Basically how are Mistresses getting money and which is the most profitable way about it?

    Thanks

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    i have looked into being a domme with a studio a state away from me. you would have to start out as a submissive at first-with a set fee per sesison. as far as different ways a domme can make money off her clients the sky is the limit especially if you specialize in a type of fetish. everything you just named you can do as a domme to get more money out of your clients/slaves. working for a studio provides the slaves and getting more determines how far you can get your name out there and how social you are to get more clients. im not a domme or a sub but i was looking into this field and found a lot of info on google.

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    Veteran Member kissykins's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    At this point funnymoney, I think you need to do a lot of basic research, on what a Domina/Mistress is.

    You can make money in all the ways you asked about. It sounds like you have a vague idea of domination and thats it. Spend sometime looking for pro domme forums and other lifestyle websites.

    If you WANT to do in person Domme work, best bet for you starting off is to get a job with a dungeon, where you can learn what the hell you're doing. Do you even know how to hold a cane, or crop? Domination is an art you need to learn some basics before you get into it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kyaaa View Post
    Oh, something i did tonight when a guy wanted to give me his number i said 'we can't accept numbers when there's so many people/cameras watching. i'll only accept it if you hide it in a tip.' So he gave me $10. Ha.
    Now that's thinking green!

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    Veteran Member Allice's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I second the dungeon area. There's BDSM/Kink groups and events in most major cities. Be prepared to meet nerds, haha. It's a different world that takes time to break into and be respected, and if it's what you want be prepared for some serious overhead. Seek out another dominate woman, and if she's kind, she may teach you some ropes.

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I've worked as one IRL, as an independent for a few years, great advice here, but I had a strongly SEO/keyworded website, put myself on maxfisch.com and banner exchanged with a lot of other dominas. That and attending DomCon LA, and just getting a presence out there. Make fetish/domme clips and set up a Clips4Sale studio. Register and be active on FetLife.com. Oh, and I charged a set fee-$250/hr, $100 per hour afterward. Backpage can be helpful for cheap advertising, but you get a lot of flakes and idiots too, so make sure you get a $50 non-refundable deposit to confirm the appt-they flake, at least you have your gas money/time paid for inconvenience. These guys don't know what kind of work it takes to get all dressed up under a trenchcoat and equipment packed discreetly. I did outcalls to hotels, a couple times to their house, and regulars would be able to meet incall when my kids were with their dad's. That's when you really make the dough-weekend stays so the slave gets to really get mindfucked/clean the house/be chained to the bed leg while you sleep, etc. I charged $1500 for 24 hours. No sex ever. Screened very little, which is bad, I know now, but at the time I figured if I had their info, and not having sex, I should be fine. I was, but was lucky too. Oh, and I had a cop, as a regular, he didn't pay for obvious reasons, but bought me stuff and dinners instead, which was a nice change. If you have any more questions, you can PM me I love to help!
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  10. #6

    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I am a Mistress as well. Your best bet is to read BDSM 101 by Jay Wiseman in addition to several books by Elise Sutton. Also, join Fetlife and join groups for dungeons near you.

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    Member MistressOnyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    This has been very helpful. I am a bit further along than our friend above, with a C4S store and having a bit more knowledge about the lifestyle, I wanted to hear from someone who has gone the independant route and has had some success. So much good info, such as the $50 non-refundable(what about reschedules, do they have to pay the $50 again or does it rollover)? How do you perform screening? i have found they get skitish when I start asking to many questions? Should i make a reference requirement? What about first timers? Have you ever had to defend yourself against a custy?

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    If you're interested in a customer perspective: I see you're in CA, and if that's SF or LA, there are a huge number of well-established, amazing pro dommes who do not charge a deposit. I wouldn't even consider paying a deposit for a pro domme who is not already at the top of the food chain and usually booked solid -- too many well-known women to choose from who don't ask for a deposit. But obviously that could depend on the area of the country that you're in, and even as a newbie, if you come up with a great hook, then maybe you can pull it off. Just mentioning that so you can weigh the risk/benefit of asking for a deposit, definitely not arguing with cbrandy if that's what worked for her, it's just not common practice in SF. References seem to be tolerated or not based city-by-city also ... in SF, references are required by just a few pro dommes, although as a fan of the reference system, I'm happy to see it expand.

    In the SF area, the houses that will train you, e.g. The Gates and Fantasy Makers, are a great place to start. You get to train with experienced mistresses, the house itself does the screening, and very many great mistresses in the area got their start at these types of places. The downside, of course, is that the house is taking a cut, of already lower-than-market pro domme fees.

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I'm just thinking in terms of making sure they are not flaky and not crazy. I would like to start in a house or dungeon first but I am just very leary about the Switch isssue. I have established custies from my other work that if they find me in a submissive role,it may jepordize our "relationship." I'm not making a killing but I am making a few hundred a month from c4s and a few hundred from SM which I just started, So I would like to keep that up and build on it. I have been asked to do private sessions but I do not have the facilities for such an experience. I would'nt mind commision if they were providing the work space, u know? But I want to make sure my followers have the exp. they are looking for, which would not include me being the one tied up. lol

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    Your followers being disappointed if they catch you switching, oh brother. It's a wonder you girls put up with us I'm certain you're right though, I've read enough fetish boards to know that a lot of subs get their fantasy bubble broken if they see their domme submitting. But not every house requires that you sub as part of training, I'd suggest calling a few to find out.

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    ^^^ I'm pretty sure switching is the worst thing you can do as a real life pro-domme.

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    Does anyone by chance have the PDF dom files link that someone on here had listed awhile back? I have been searching threads for hours and have had no luck Thanks in advance !

  18. #13
    samanthag
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I've been a pro domme for a while now. I started back in 2005 when someone found that I had worked with a spanking site. Pro domina work cane be tough, do not expect easy money. It's a tougher client base and the client base is very skitish. I find I have to tweak my methods all the time. It's tough because they are so skitish. However, you need to always look at things from their POV. I find when I do that, it is a lot easier.

    Flaking is very common. Again, you are dealing with a very skitish client base.

    I find when they send you your first email, send them back a little slave application; ask all the questions you want there. Also, I can never figure out why domme never ask for references? It is common place in escorting. I only see clients with references. After they fill out my questionnaire, I will give them a call and we will set everything up. I find working with this method, I am able to screen out the creeps, freaks and flakes. If they are flaky they won't waste your time with a phone call. A phone call also just helps really get a feel for the client.

    I session on a very limited. I find because I do, I do not worry as much or stress like girls who just do sessions and nothing else. If a client seems creepy or gets skitish, oh well. There are other clients.

    Out of 100 emails, I may receive one who is actually serious about sessions. However, I know I screen a little heavier then some domina's.

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I've been a Dominatrix for four and a half years. I started working for a dungeon house but I've been independent for years. I charge by the hour and do the majority of my sessions at a dungeon rental space.

    I strongly advise you to start at a house, if you have the option. It's a good way to get free training, learn the quirks of the industry in your location, and meet other Dommes. Some houses have rules about subbing or switching when you start, but that's by no means universal. Over here in NYC none of the houses require you to sub at any point. If you call up and ask they'll be happy to tell you.


    Traditionally, Dommes do not offer sexual services, especially at the higher end. The industry is surprisingly prudish. Even dommes who do sell sexual services will usually offer handjobs/pussy and asshole worship at most. Skilled escort-Dommes can make a ton of money, though. As long as you're not putting others at legal risk, do whatever you're comfortable with.

    Go indie as soon as you can. You make more money and the clients are miles better.

    You probably can't ask for a deposit until you're more well-established. A whole lot of guys just don't do deposits, no matter what, and a lot of the ones who do will only send a deposit if they're absolutely sure you're legit, meaning you're well-known and have reviews.

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  22. #15
    Member MistressOnyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I hope someone is still reading this thread, I have an update! So i decided I was WAY too inexperienced to try to start out on my own. I found an apprenticeship at DOILA! I am very excited, as I have heard so much about this dungeon. Has anyone ever trained here? I start later this month. Any advice, tips or general information is appreciated.

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I was a pro Domme at a very young age and had no clue what I was doing. In retrospect, I'm *REALLY* glad I never had any "oh shit, gotta get rid of a body" type incidents. The place I worked hired me with no experience. It's the fastest way to get in and make money, but I recommend at least getting some basic training in your local BDSM scene. Not tons of time, since it'd be free work, just long enough to feel like you know what you're doing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    its great to hear that you have the chance for an apprenticeship

    the one piece of advice i will offer, which i think is the MOST important of all is:

    once you get the absolute basics from your mentor, work on building your own style.
    your style is what sets you apart from the million other dommes out there and it will be the foundation of a longterm career in the bdsm scene if you can master a semi original way of doing things.


    dont get stuck just reinterpreting our mentors way of doing things.
    each thing you learn, make it your own as soon as possible.

    good luck

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    Member MistressOnyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    I can't say thank you enough for all of your helpful advice. I just took a rope 101 class. It was a lot of fun. Learned a lot about the erotic thrill of total submission. Master Feenix was our teacher for the day and he was phenomenal. I learned more about Betty Page. I just thought she was a pretty pinup. NOT!!! She had some fire!! I toured the dungeon. I even got the feel of a couple of crops. This is defiantly the place for me to start. There's even a in house photog, which is great because I have NO good quality pictures for a website or promotional uses. Also gotta go shopping. Nothing I have in my shabby lil closet compares to the latex, leather and pvc. I am truly excited about starting this chapter. I even made a name change which I know is like career death but I felt it was necessary. Also they shut my acct down with that name so I needed a change anyway. I should have named myself Phoenix because that's how I feel. lol. Like I'm rising from the ashes of confusion and obscurity to a new life filled with new challenges and accomplishments.

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    good on you! get yourself a great website as soon as possible.
    make sure the subs that are looking for your type can find you and keep up with you easily

    xx

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    Member MistressOnyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    Hi, I am now on that idea. I worked at the dungeon only a week. Things weren't as rosey as I thought. Won't say anything bad, just didn't get the guidance I thought I would get. It was kind of like "put your stuff here, when the guy comes, it's just you and him." I felt as an apprentice I needed a bit more instruction before being unsupervised with a sub. I also need pro photographs. As well as wardrobe. The items I had were great for cam but not so good for Domme work. So new year, new plan, sort of.

    My first step is to get some good pics.
    Next to register with sites like Fetlife, maxfiscer, modelmayhem, etc.
    Build a tumblr or wordpress
    Light outcall (only what I know and have done) (can't do incall and heard outcall is safer)
    hire or use subs for clips and movies

    Is this how some of you got started on your own? I know dungeon play spaces are the best way to learn, but in order to gain any kind of respect, you have to at least build your brand so they will market you. Which they did but my pictures were HORRIBLE. Apprentices don't get the pro. How much can I expect to spend on a decent shoot? Not much, just to get started. Does anyone have any recommendations? I'm in Los Angeles. I'm willing to work with someone who is just starting. I am VERY patient. ANY advice is welcome. Even the bad, sometimes you need to hear that bitter taste of reality. I am still looking for a playspace but would like to have more to show them when I go to the next one, or back if I can. Thank you for your time and responses. Even if you just want to share your story from a-z. Happy New Year and much success. <3

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    Member MistressOnyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    Hi, I am now on that idea. I worked at the dungeon only a week. Things weren't as rosey as I thought. Won't say anything bad, just didn't get the guidance I thought I would get. It was kind of like "put your stuff here, when the guy comes, it's just you and him." I felt as an apprentice I needed a bit more instruction before being unsupervised with a sub. I also need pro photographs. As well as wardrobe. The items I had were great for cam but not so good for Domme work. So new year, new plan, sort of.

    My first step is to get some good pics.
    Next to register with sites like Fetlife, maxfiscer, modelmayhem, etc.
    Build a tumblr or wordpress
    Light outcall (only what I know and have done) (can't do incall and heard outcall is safer) (do you go to their location or meet them at a hotel? And do you offset the cost in the tribute or make them reserve it?)
    hire or use subs for clips and movies

    Is this how some of you got started on your own? I know dungeon play spaces are the best way to learn, but in order to gain any kind of respect, you have to at least build your brand so they will market you. Which they did but my pictures were HORRIBLE. Apprentices don't get the pro. How much can I expect to spend on a decent shoot? Not much, just to get started. Does anyone have any recommendations? I'm in Los Angeles. I'm willing to work with someone who is just starting. Hell, I am too. I am VERY patient. ANY advice is welcome. Even the bad, sometimes you need to hear that bitter taste of reality. I am still looking for a playspace but would like to have more to show them when I go to the next one, or back if I can. Thank you for your time and responses. Even if you just want to share your story from a-z. Happy New Year and much success. <3

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    Woah that's uncool.
    problem is many dungeons wont want to invest in a newbie as essentially she can just up and leave without "returning" the time investment. there are sooo many flakes.

    my advice would be to get a friend to take some good photos of you,maybe 4 or 5 max just to get started.
    when i was a baby domme i got some taken by my girlfriend against a hallway wall in my house-literally FREE.
    they did the trick until I had the contacts to find a good photographer.

    join up to all social media platforms and work them hard, they are free and well worth it these days.


    when I started out I had 4 pictures and 1 online ad which worked out for me for a couple of years building up regulars it got to a point where I didn't really need the ad.
    that is a great and inexpensive way to build a foundation, then expand further.

    you really do need a good place to provide your clients ASAP this was something I sorted from day 1.
    you will lose alot of business offering outcalls only or not having a good discreet place to work from

    is there any "per hour" dungeons to rent in your area? -this is what I did when I first started, you build the cost into your hourly rate. it is a slightly more expensive option but you gotta start somewhere.

    you really only need maybe 1 or 2 chic outfits, try a second hand place.

    no one is going to walk you through it, if you want it reach out and grab it with both hands






    hope this helps

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  34. #23
    Member MistressOnyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    OMG!!!! Thank you so much. I know nobody will walk me through this. But I really didn't know how to get started. I did leave pretty quick. But I didn't want to waste any more of their time, you know. I have been waiting while my kids have been out for break. 3 weeks!! They just went back today. So while they are out I'm going to get those pictures. There are a few that rent by the hour. I will contact them about rates. I started collecting shoes and clothes from all kinds of places. I just can't say thank you enough. <3 This really helped me find some direction.

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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    No worries at all darling, I waded through alot of wilderness on my own when I was starting out so always happy to help.
    Feel free to ask anything you like in future,and
    Reach out to me on twitter when you have an account set up and I can hopefully share the love with my followers who can follow you too

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  37. #25
    Member MistressOnyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Mistresses (Dominas) here?

    Thanks with a hug

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