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Thread: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

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    Default Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Hi ladies!
    So I had been loving this job so much, not only the money but I legitimately like the job too. I love having a reason to dress sexy and be all dolled up every day too, and I absolutely love stripper heels lol. I told my boyfriend and he was okay about it for a few days, but now he totally isn't. We have been together a long time and have a son together but don't live together (working on it). He told me it's him or stripping (not so simply lol). So considering our history and what we have together the choice was him, and I quit. I am so not done with this job though, and I am gonna keep pushing the fact that I want to. His main problem is that he doesn't want other guys to see me naked or to share me. Even though I try and tell him he is not sharing me he's the only one I have sex with etc he still doesn't see my point.

    How do you deal with being in a relationship while dancing? Is your s/o okay with it? If not how do you still doing it without them leaving you? I want to get back in the club ASAP, but don't want to ruin my relationship in the process.

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Honestly, there are probably hundreds of threads on here from dancers who went through the exact same situation with a boyfriend. Look through Life Support and Ladies Only, and you'll see you're not alone.

    Generally, relationships where the SO is uncomfortable with dancing go in one of two ways: they break up from the get-go because the dancer won't quit just for an SO that won't support her, or they break up later on down the line when the dancer has quit and grows bitter over the decision or the SO gives in to "let" the dancer continue to strip but grows bitter.

    Your SO has made it clear that they are not comfortable with you dancing. You can make all of the logical and reasonable arguments you want to try and sway their opinion, but it's largely an emotional issue, and not one you can argue into a different opinion. It basically comes down to a choice: the relationship or dancing. While there are definitely people out there who are fine with their partner dancing and truly are not jealous of bitter, you just can't have both with certain people.

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Does he have enuf money to support you if you stop? Do you have a backup plan in case you stop dancing for him and the relationship goes sour? I personaly would never stop doing something I love and gives me the money I need to support myslef and my fur-child. If he has issues with u dancing I would bet a million bucks he has insecurities and he needs to get over it or you get over him.
    Quote Originally Posted by BombshellBelle View Post
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    Yes, sex sells, but it sure as hell doesn't sell itself!
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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    He's being possessive and wanting to "own you" by not wanting to "share" you.. He's jealous and insecure about it. That shit makes me angry. It's your body and if it garners you a paycheck, that's just fine.

    Quite frankly, I'd tell him to deal with it or else he can pay the bills. Give HIM the options.

    (But that's just my selfish, bitchy 2 cents)
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    My SO tried to pull the same thing a few years ago. We had to break up. :-(

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    i wouldn't get into a relationship unless he was ok with it, but since you got into one before you started..idk, you can try and open his eyes to ( like i always try and do, usually doesn't work), or just decide whether you want your own money, independence, job you like, happiness...or a guy. the world is full of men, many who will support your and understand. never, EVER throw away what YOU want to do with the only life you have for a man. its one of the biggest mistakes women make. i speak from experience here. there is a limited amount of time you can dance and the money is nothing to pass up in this economy.

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Sigh, see this a lot, and sure hear about it. Once you start and you can work it good, and make the money, its like a lifestyle, even if its got lots of contact in some cases. One thing Club owners/managers Really have distaste for is the " jealous BF". Can be just a prick pimpin for drug money and in to collect, or just jealous and makes a scene. For the most part, this is all just a tease, and the SO needs to know that. In ten years he might be excited that men look at his chick....who knows.. First thing to ask, is if HE has Ever been to a strip club, And if he has EVER given a tip....IF so, he knows what the part of meeting the Demand is and its time to either enjoy, accept, or move on. Sad there is a lil boy involved in this one... Dancer maria

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    This is a common occurrence in this line of work. I have seen it work out some what once and but they fought once a month for like 8 years about it till she quit because she got burned out. I myself had a bf for a year who was half way Okay with it for 6 months, eventually I dumped him because the guilt trips got annoying. Your relationship status seems complicated at best and from a 3rd party view, if the father of your child can't support you KR commit to you why are you taking his orders? You were happy and your son was provided for. Somethinggs just wrong with that logic. I guess if your looking for an answer you want, you could always lie to him since you don't live together.

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    I was a stripper when I met my boyfriend (but I didn't meet him at work) I actually postponed telling him because I was afraid of what his reaction would be. Once we started talking on a consistent basis, I came out and told him, and he was cool with it. And for the most part, still is. He gets a little shaken up that I am making more than him and he is the one with a college degree. But I pay most of our bills and over time he has learned to accept it. In all honesty, I think that guys who can't handle their girlfriends dance just have insecurity issues. Find a guy who is confident in himself and never give the person you love a reason to worry about anything. Respect and honesty, baby.



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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Thanks for all the replies ladies. I was lying to him at first but came clean. He says he wants to support me but is currently between jobs. He does have one lined up with an interview in a week and we do have some income from him right now. We are great parents and our son is very well taken care of and loved, so that situation is all good. I just want to have my own income and not rely on him. I'm not gonna pick stripping over him because if we end I want to be able to really have given it my all. I definitely agree with you ladies, though I think it is his insecurities that are holding me back which is really annoying. Hmm I guess I'm just gonna start camming for the first time ever and keep trying to get him to agree.

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Ps he is okay with me camming which is weird, because you do actual sex acts with toys and stuff where as stripping is just dancing! I would think if he cared about stripping camming would be out too.

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Money doesn't lie, cheat, or give you shit. I would NEVER quit my job or give up my $$$ and independence for a man. Fuck that. I did it once for my bastard ex husband and he beat the shit out of me. A penis can be replaced. No man is worth giving up your independence and financial security for,
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    OP: Camming is alright. Try different sites and try diffferent things until you find what suits you.





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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    YAYYY!!! After lots and lots of pestering, my bf agreed. Now I get what I want and don't have to lie or feel controlled. I'm stoked. Going back tomorrow

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by ambermaexxx View Post
    After lots and lots of pestering, my bf agreed. Now I get what I want and don't have to lie or feel controlled. I'm stoked. Going back tomorrow
    If you had to pester him, I can almost guarantee that this issue will rear its ugly head again later on down the line.

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by ambermaexxx View Post
    YAYYY!!! After lots and lots of pestering, my bf agreed. Now I get what I want and don't have to lie or feel controlled. I'm stoked. Going back tomorrow
    i think its kind of sad that you would have to pester him to do what you want to do and to make your own money as an adult, but good! hold firm, because if you had to pester, that means he isn't really ok with it

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    Default Re: Boyfriends/ significant others and stripping

    I wasn't saying I would lie about it, btw, because I wouldn't. I was just using that as an example because someone said that. I know he's not okay with it, but he is trying to be. I'm just trying to make myself happy and respect my relationship too. The fact that he't trying to be okay with it makes me happy.

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