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Thread: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

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    Default Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    I have a few good friends that I see regularly, I have a boyfriend, I go to therapy, I run 15-20 miles a week, I have a little indoor herb garden, I read a lot of books, I do crafts, and I work. I keep busy most of the time and it's a HUGE improvement from where I was 2 years ago (depressed, lonely, no hobbies), but now I'm bored! So many days pass me by that just seem painfully uneventful and I don't know what to do!

    I'm going to school in August so that should help I guess, but I'm tired of this routine I've fallen into.

    How can I make my life less dull?

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Me too! Every day, week after week... it all feels the same. Between dancing and MFC, && my every day chores & errands my life has gotten so dull.. & when I see my friends its like the only thing I have to talk about is the club or people from camming and its all so foreign to them... none of them relate. When did gI get so lame??

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Would it help you feel more worthwhile to give something back? Volunteer at a group for underprivileged kids or an animal shelter? Whenever I feel like this I only have to think about all the rescuing and rehoming I've done in the past and will do in the future and I instantly feel my life means something!
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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Quote Originally Posted by sugarmouse0707 View Post
    Would it help you feel more worthwhile to give something back? Volunteer at a group for underprivileged kids or an animal shelter? Whenever I feel like this I only have to think about all the rescuing and rehoming I've done in the past and will do in the future and I instantly feel my life means something!
    I actually recently applied to volunteer for a local animal shelter. They said I need health insurance which I don't have at the moment. I volunteered a TON in my teens in homeless shelters, for hospitals, for animals and that's something I definitely want to do again.

    I guess what I mean is my life is missing excitement. I have plenty of things to keep me BUSY but I never do anything that's really fun. I never get invited to wild parties which is kind of a bummer being in my early 20s. I thought about throwing a party but I could only think of 6 people to invite and out of the 6 probably only 3 would want to go. I gravitate towards more mature goal-oriented people, not the partyers.

    I keep feeling really nostalgic about high school and all the friends I had, all the road trips, bonfires, crap like that. Now that most of my friends have moved for work or school I never get to have any crazy nights out! All of the girls I talk to at work are so wrapped up with their boyfriends or kids or drug addictions...I find it hard to meet new people. I like the friends I have but they're all pretty antisocial and only like one on one sorta stuff.

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    ha.....this isn't going to make you feel better, but making friends only gets harder as you get older
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    That is definitely true
    I feel like this sometimes-I was so wild in my teens and early/mid twenties, I'm 30 now but I don't feel like settling into boring life, I still like parties and nights out, just I like other things as well now!Sometimes it feels nobody wants anything to do with you any more and I can definitely relate to that!
    I'm trying to figure this out for myself so I'll let you know if I get anything-I've thought about finding some local bands I like and going to see them with one friend or even alone, granted I'll get talking to someone and get a new group of friends..I've just moved house so that might be part of the reason.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
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    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    I understand how you feel. I think you should start by being appreciative for what you have and how far you have become. Think about the people in poverty, the handicapped, the people constantly in civil war, etc. I know they have nothing to do with you but sometimes you have to realize you got it damn good compared to most of the world.

    Maybe change your appearance? Look for a part time job? Join a contest? You need to challenge yourself somehow.

    Maybe being bored is part of your depression?

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    i have the exact same problem! i'm used to constant change and excitement, and i know i should be thankful for the steady life i have built for myself but im bored! part of that is that i had 1 year to be a teenager i think.
    do you have children? you say you are in your early 20s and you gravitate toward more goal oriented people, i think going to school will be a definite improvement. maybe save to do some traveling, or another road trip on your vacations? make a list of the things you would find exciting,or that you want to do before your 20s are over and find a way to make them happen! if you feel its depression, maybe go get some anti depressants or counseling

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Okay so I would suggest moving somewhere new & exciting, but since you already have a life where you are, its probably not a good idea. But if you didn't have a boyfriend or anything tying you to your location, I would recommend it. Especially big cities. LA, NY, SF, etc because there's always something fun and always entrepreneurs around who have the funds to party yet are still motivated people.

    Sadly, I have gone through this. The issue lies in the fact that there's really no one else you can relate to except sexworkers. Most mid-to-late-20s people (from what I've experienced) are over the partying stage, or can't really afford to have fun now that they have an entry level job. Sexworkers can obviously afford fun because of their generous income. People with entry level jobs can't really do that, and are exhausted from getting used to a 9-5 job anyway.

    ...So its like the only people you can really *party* with are people who are still students (ick if you've already graduated) or people who have the time & money to party... which is pretty much ONLY sexworkers (who else earns that kind of money so young?) OR unmotivated trust fund kids (being around unmotivated people is annoying when you're motivated). Ick ick ick. At least this was/is my experience.

    The way I started to get over this was by basically surrounding myself with other sexworkers (good ones are hard to find, I know) OR people who were entrepreneurs (very rare unless you live in places like LA, NY, SF, or Portland which is why I suggested moving).

    You're mostly just craving being social though... So... your best bet is to try and meet people any way you possibly can. Join a million hobby groups and never sit at home. Strike up conversation with people everywhere like coffeeshops, bus stops, libraries, anywhere really. Its kind of awkward when you're in a relationship though, which makes things weird. Maybe try hobby groups on craigslist and meetup.com? And any other possible hobby group you can think of in your area? Meet people on forums and ask if anyone lives in your area (you can even do this on SW!) who wants to meet up? And plan daytrips with your boyfriend EVERY weekend? Those are the best things I can tell you.


    Shits hard though. I feel like that feeling is literally the textbook definition of why people get married and have kids. Because shit gets boring and you feel like you have no purpose and nothing to do.

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Quote Originally Posted by xGigi View Post
    I have a few good friends that I see regularly, I have a boyfriend, I go to therapy, I run 15-20 miles a week, I have a little indoor herb garden, I read a lot of books, I do crafts, and I work. I keep busy most of the time and it's a HUGE improvement from where I was 2 years ago (depressed, lonely, no hobbies), but now I'm bored! So many days pass me by that just seem painfully uneventful and I don't know what to do!

    I'm going to school in August so that should help I guess, but I'm tired of this routine I've fallen into.

    How can I make my life less dull?
    Go nuts... start attending cool meetups... (you do crafts! you can meet so many people with a hobby like that!) http://www.meetup.com/
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
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    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Also, you sound like you are in desperate need of a nice vacation! C'mon woman! Go somewhere interesting before school starts!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
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    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    I have no suggestions but I can totally relate. I spent the past year traveling and am now faced with a nice little routine of a full-time office job during the week, dancing on the weekend, spending time with my boyfriend, and seeing friends 1-2x a week. There's nothing worth complaining about, but it does feel like something is missing. I'm planning on traveling again next year, so I do think that's a valid option for you as well, even if it's just a weekend trip!

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Go on vacay. I would do that myself if I could but I'm currently in school so I rly can't. But as lame as this sounds sometimes I will literally just take random detours out of my way, go down different streets n whatnot just to see something new. It helps ever so slightly.

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i have the exact same problem! i'm used to constant change and excitement, and i know i should be thankful for the steady life i have built for myself but im bored! part of that is that i had 1 year to be a teenager i think.
    do you have children? you say you are in your early 20s and you gravitate toward more goal oriented people, i think going to school will be a definite improvement. maybe save to do some traveling, or another road trip on your vacations? make a list of the things you would find exciting,or that you want to do before your 20s are over and find a wiay to make them happen! if you feel its depression, maybe go get some anti depressants or counseling
    I'm already in therapy. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, my life is going fine it's just so routine! And no I don't have kids. I think school will be the easiest way at this point.
    Last edited by xGigi; 03-12-2013 at 03:21 AM.

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    Okay so I would suggest moving somewhere new & exciting, but since you already have a life where you are, its probably not a good idea. But if you didn't have a boyfriend or anything tying you to your location, I would recommend it. Especially big cities. LA, NY, SF, etc because there's always something fun and always entrepreneurs around who have the funds to party yet are still motivated people.

    Sadly, I have gone through this. The issue lies in the fact that there's really no one else you can relate to except sexworkers. Most mid-to-late-20s people (from what I've experienced) are over the partying stage, or can't really afford to have fun now that they have an entry level job. Sexworkers can obviously afford fun because of their generous income. People with entry level jobs can't really do that, and are exhausted from getting used to a 9-5 job anyway.

    ...So its like the only people you can really *party* with are people who are still students (ick if you've already graduated) or people who have the time & money to party... which is pretty much ONLY sexworkers (who else earns that kind of money so young?) OR unmotivated trust fund kids (being around unmotivated people is annoying when you're motivated). Ick ick ick. At least this was/is my experience.

    The way I started to get over this was by basically surrounding myself with other sexworkers (good ones are hard to find, I know) OR people who were entrepreneurs (very rare unless you live in places like LA, NY, SF, or Portland which is why I suggested moving).

    You're mostly just craving being social though... So... your best bet is to try and meet people any way you possibly can. Join a million hobby groups and never sit at home. Strike up conversation with people everywhere like coffeeshops, bus stops, libraries, anywhere really. Its kind of awkward when you're in a relationship though, which makes things weird. Maybe try hobby groups on craigslist and meetup.com? And any other possible hobby group you can think of in your area? Meet people on forums and ask if anyone lives in your area (you can even do this on SW!) who wants to meet up? And plan daytrips with your boyfriend EVERY weekend? Those are the best things I can tell you.


    Shits hard though. I feel like that feeling is literally the textbook definition of why people get married and have kids. Because shit gets boring and you feel like you have no purpose and nothing to do.
    Yeah moving is not really an option. Plus I feel like it would take me even longer to meet people in a new place! I have a reallyyy hard time just "striking up a conversation". All of my friends are either from the club or the ones who stuck around after high school. I don't get along with a lot of the dancers because I'm either too smart for them and they annoy me (i know thats REALLY pretentious) or they do a lot of drugs. Plus the cool dancers almost always live out of town

    I always see girls around my city who look like they'd be fun to hang out with but I never know how to just TALK to people!!

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Go nuts... start attending cool meetups... (you do crafts! you can meet so many people with a hobby like that!) http://www.meetup.com/
    I've been scouring that site and Craigslist like crazy but there's actually nothing going on in my area! I don't exactly live in a big metropolis and my car completely shit the bed on me so driving an hour away isn't an option. There's a running club that I'm gonna try and I'm looking into classes

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    gigi you're overthinking it, the way to just talk to people is just to talk to people
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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Quote Originally Posted by LaurenAus View Post
    gigi you're overthinking it, the way to just talk to people is just to talk to people
    I know. You're right. I get a lot of social anxiety though especially when people ask what I do for a living.

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    If you ever figure it out let me know, for the last almost year my life consists of changing diapers, feeding, attempting to make nasty fetish video, give up because my partner can't be bothered to put down his GD laptop with his stupid zombie game to keep the baby entertained and quiet, try to make another video, cry, change diaper as I'm the only one capable of figuring out those nifty little sticky straps, reapply my makeup and try to work again, feed the kid who then ignores me because he likes his dad more and only wants me for my boobs, cry again because I've gotten no work done, made no money no one else in the house can work, and sit around watching crappy netflix shows from decades ago dreaming about a life where I'm allowed to have friends, free time, don't constantly hate myself for not providing for my family like I should be able to, and what it would be like if I was the one out partying with friends (that I no longer have because I'm on mommy duty 24/7 without fail and NO ONE my age has kids here and I breastfeed and can't afford the alcohol i need) instead of my goddamn husband who I love to death yet constantly dream about running over. I want to throw away my cell phone, get in the car and drive to where people actually give a shit about me in a house I can afford that doesn't smell like 4 different kinds of crap.
    Last edited by AureliaC; 03-16-2013 at 02:08 PM.

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Quote Originally Posted by AureliaC View Post
    If you ever figure it out let me know, for the last almost year my life consists of changing diapers, feeding, attempting to make nasty fetish video, give up because my partner can't be bothered to put down his GD laptop with his stupid zombie game to keep the baby entertained and quiet, try to make another video, cry, change diaper as I'm the only one capable of figuring out those nifty little sticky straps, reapply my makeup and try to work again, feed the kid who then ignores me because he likes his dad more and only wants me for my boobs, cry again because I've gotten no work done, made no money no one else in the house can work, and sit around watching crappy netflix shows from decades ago dreaming about a life where I'm allowed to have friends, free time, don't constantly hate myself for not providing for my family like I should be able to, and what it would be like if I was the one out partying with friends (that I no longer have because I'm on mommy duty 24/7 without fail and NO ONE my age has kids here and I breastfeed and can't afford the alcohol i need) instead of my goddamn husband who I love to death yet constantly dream about running over. I want to throw away my cell phone, get in the car and drive to where people actually give a shit about me in a house I can afford that doesn't smell like 4 different kinds of crap.
    aww baby girl! call me

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    Default Re: Help! My life feels so monotonous :(

    Quote Originally Posted by AureliaC View Post
    If you ever figure it out let me know, for the last almost year my life consists of changing diapers, feeding, attempting to make nasty fetish video, give up because my partner can't be bothered to put down his GD laptop with his stupid zombie game to keep the baby entertained and quiet, try to make another video, cry, change diaper as I'm the only one capable of figuring out those nifty little sticky straps, reapply my makeup and try to work again, feed the kid who then ignores me because he likes his dad more and only wants me for my boobs, cry again because I've gotten no work done, made no money no one else in the house can work, and sit around watching crappy netflix shows from decades ago dreaming about a life where I'm allowed to have friends, free time, don't constantly hate myself for not providing for my family like I should be able to, and what it would be like if I was the one out partying with friends (that I no longer have because I'm on mommy duty 24/7 without fail and NO ONE my age has kids here and I breastfeed and can't afford the alcohol i need) instead of my goddamn husband who I love to death yet constantly dream about running over. I want to throw away my cell phone, get in the car and drive to where people actually give a shit about me in a house I can afford that doesn't smell like 4 different kinds of crap.
    Wow your hubby needs a swift kick in the ass. If its his kid HE NEEDS TO HELP. You need to assert yourself, girl!!! Have you thought about hiring a babysitter for a few hours? A girl I know pays her neighbors 15 year old daughter FIVE DOLLARS an hour! There's plenty of kids looking to make some pocket money. Try care.com or Craigslist. Have them watch your baby in the house if you're ok with it then you know they'll be safe!

    If I were you I'd go to therapy too. I've been going for a while and I've learned how to be WAY more assertive. My boyfriend can be a manipulative little shit sometimes but I'm taking less and less of his crap as I learn how to respect myself more. I'm actually getting closer and closer to leaving him altogether. Admittedly, I'm considerably codependent and the thought of losing him forever scares the shit out of me. I KNOW it's a bad relationship and he's always toying with my emotions to get the upper hand but I'm weak still in therapy, getting stronger everyday...he appeals to me less every week that goes by.

    Getting your life out of a bad slump is hard but it's possible if you put the work in

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