
Originally Posted by
lawdude
OK, I'm actually not even sure there's a question here, but I want to get this off my chest I guess.
I've gone to strip clubs for years. I have gone to many strip clubs in the LA area. For the most part, I just watch stage shows; I'll get lap dances every once in awhile when I really find a dancer attractive. And I've always understood the basic transaction at the heart of the industry-- we are paying the dancers to pretend to be interested in us; they aren't actually into us, they just want our money, etc. I've been offered extras every once in awhile (and have accepted them on occasion when offered, but not always), but the big turn-on of strip clubs has never been extras, but rather the pretense that really hot women would be interested in me. (And I accept any criticism of this in advance. I should just turn down the extras, especially since that isn't why I go to strip clubs in the first place.)
Every once in awhile, a dancer has offered me her number, and that has always turned out to be a solicitation for off-the-club escorting. I've never taken up that offer.
Well, late last year, a dancer in a local club who I had bought lap dances from 5 or 6 times before, over the course of a couple of years, and who offered me extras on a couple of occasions, asked to exchange numbers. I figured that this was just an offer for escorting, but she made a big deal of saying it wasn't. She was actually interested in me, wanted to go out with me, etc. I said OK, whatever, and exchanged numbers. She told me to text her and we'd set something up.
That started what has been four months of frustration, where I have texted her, she has ignored my texts, and just when I decide to give up, she texts or calls me and says no, she's just really busy, she really wants this to happen, etc. I've also been into the club a couple of times and bought some lap dances from her, which resulted in some really passionate, affectionate extracurricular activity in the VIP room which at least seemed to be mutually pleasurable. And when I've been in the club, she's offered this or that excuse for why she was out of town or too tired or was moving and couldn't schedule a time to get together and promised that we would get together soon. But then when I text her in the runup to or on the day when she says she is available to meet, she doesn't text back and it starts all over again.
At any rate, it's pretty clear that I should just cut off contact. It's been four months, and people who are serious about getting together with someone will find a way to do it in that length of time. And the whole thing is driving me crazy-- I am quite comfortable being a strip club customer (indeed, I'm totally comfortable with dancers who don't even offer extras and have bought many dances from women who I simply found enjoyable with no expectation of anything more than a beautiful woman bouncing on my clothed lap), understand the fantasy involved, but this dancer, whether she means well or not, has completely upset that equilibrium. I've gotten very depressed (I am normally a happy person) because she keeps on stringing me along and telling me she is interested but won't actually get together.
So my question is what do you all think is going on here? Is this just a scam to try and get me to spend more money on lap dances? (If that's the case, it was a spectacular misreading of me-- I would have continued to spend money on lap dances with her because I liked her, and the distaste from this experience is going to cause me to stop coming to the club.) Does this just sound like a dancer with a lot of issues in her personal life who can't get it together and schedule a date? (For what it's worth, in our conversations she seems like a very down to earth person who enjoys the flexible hours and decent compensation her job offers and not someone who has a drug problem or a bunch of ex-boyfriends following her around or anything of that nature.) Is it something else?
Bookmarks