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Thread: how to hustle crying customers!

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    Duh how to hustle crying customers!

    i seem to attract people who like to "open up their hearts" to me a biiittt too much! i've had 3 guys break down in tears ( akward!!) and others regale me with very sad, long stories of their divorces, mother's death, etc. im very good at reading people so i don't think they are bullshitting me unless they are top actors :p this happens in my personal life a lot, i've always been the friend people want to talk to when they are down, but at work how do i lighten it up a bit after all that and get them to want dances without sounding cold and callous and money hungry? are the lines " i know just what will cheer you up, come back with me for a bit of fun" too mean sounding? and what the hell do i do when they start crying? i just sit there kind of shocked..should i hug them, or would that be too platonic? it keeps happening! im good at relating to cusys and gaining their trust but i need to start hustling and being more cold, manipulating and seductive. perhaps im giving off the "friend vibe" instead of the temptress vibe. but a lot of guys come in just to talk and get some female companionship so im sure others have experienced this too..
    in my heart i feel that im being a terrible person for hustling somebody who feels so bad

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    Wow. That's... Awkward. How do they come to be crying? Like, do you come up to them and they're already in tears or does it happen at some point in your conversation? If it's the latter, you've gotta somehow be steering the conversation in a way that makes them think it's okay to spill their hearts and tears out to you.

    As for feeling bad about hustling someone that's sad... I mean, they're in the club. They clearly want the entertainment and distraction of a stripper, so, on the contrary, you should feel like a terrible person for trying to deprive them of that by not hustling them.

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    Yeah, I'm an emotional person so..don't know what to say, this's never happened to me. Some people are just easier to open up to, I always liked 'talking' to you Simone on here & men typically can't 'spill' like we can so they're usually more repressed emotionally. Sorry, this isn't much help.

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    aww thanks whirlerz i like talking to you too!
    to shana, idk its weird, there was one guy i was talking to about normal stuff and i rubbed his arm and he said " i haven't even had a hug in a year!" and started to tear up and talk about his divorce, and another guy i was just having a normal strip club convo with and i asked for a dance and he said " no, ill cry! " and literally started crying and talking about his old girlfriend..i just sat there feeling soooo akward!!

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    Even though this I am a cammer not a stripper I had to weigh in because this happened to me last week. A guy who was hanging out in my room a lot got busted. He bought a long session and his wife freaked out and canceled his site CC. He told me about it and said he was sitting there crying as he was typing it. I felt so, so bad. I logged out and there was a message from him that he had developed real feelings for me, and asking if they were returned.

    If I was a hard ass I would have just been happy I got whatever money from him but I felt horrible and there was nothing I could say that would change the situation for him. I spent the rest of the day thinking about it, and I finally decided I would have to block him because there was no way I could hustle knowing he was sitting in my room, crying.

    Of course there is no ban button in the club so I can't even begin to know how to handle it. In the end tough love is the best when there is no hope for the situation. The sooner they get over their attachment to you the better. Unfortunately it comes with the territory when you are a good listener–they transfer all their feelings to you the more they talk to you.

    It's called transference if you want to look it up; Freud discovered it when his female patients would fall in love with him, even when he sat them facing away from him as they talked. I am still trying to figure out how to lure the guys in without feeling like a jerk when they fall in love. That's not my intention, and it sucks because I end up feeling worse than they do.

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    That is sad! ): I don't think I've encountered too many of these types.

    I would think you could use it to your advantage by telling them they should go in the VIP with you and you could talk more discreetly and spend some time alone. These might me the kinds of customers who would pay just to talk to you, rather than want you to dance the whole time. I wouldn't feel guilty over it, after all, they came to the strip club for a reason. There is a reason they picked a strip club over talking to a friend or a family member.

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    I built my career on these guys! In Dancerwealth these guys are what i call the Yellow Personality type and I use The Friendship Hot Button to keep them coming back. It sounds like the fatal mistake you are making is pressing the friendship hot button BEFORE you collect payment.

    Remember, they are coming into the club because it has less of a social stigma than going to a psychiatrist. He needs someone to talk to and would rather give $300/hr to YOU rather than some short Jewish guy with diplomas on the wall
    Rebecca Avalon







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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    thank you guys!! you're so right britneyireland, i need to require payment for my time..i mean, the psychiatrists get paid more than i do, and im pretty sure i do more work than they do in that amount of time lol.

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    to doodlebugbites, idk if the custys are falling in love with me, both of them i just met so im probably not that good hehe..but thank you for your reply, it was actually very helpful for another situation im dealing with

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    Quote Originally Posted by britneyireland View Post
    I built my career on these guys! In Dancerwealth these guys are what i call the Yellow Personality type and I use The Friendship Hot Button to keep them coming back. It sounds like the fatal mistake you are making is pressing the friendship hot button BEFORE you collect payment.

    Remember, they are coming into the club because it has less of a social stigma than going to a psychiatrist. He needs someone to talk to and would rather give $300/hr to YOU rather than some short Jewish guy with diplomas on the wall
    Yes; I use the friendship hot button part to keep them coming back too

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    I tend to get too conversational and sometimes it's tough to steer it back to sexy. What I do is say well listen I really like talking to you but I want to just go see if i I can make some money, I have some financial issues right now, but I'll meet you back here in a little while, and we'll continue. Nine times out of ten they'll buy a dance or two or even a room. I really had to learn to avoid those type of conversations - I like them - but I feel like they are a libido killer. I once read somewhere that tears (well, OK, from a woman) lowers mens testosterone. LOL

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    yeah i read tears are the number 1 way to kill a boner haha, welp they certainly are killing my stripper boner, it totally throws me off! what if they say " ok, go earn some money, don't let me get in the way" what do i say then to get a dance?

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    I've had this happen and make great money off of just being nice,compassionate, and telling them that they HAVE to let me cheer them up with some dances.
    I wait for them to pause their story and/or redirect to how awesome it was to meet them. I typically dig for a personal story to make it a conversation in which we share bs that has happened, I praise them for being over it, and I tell them how great it is to know that I am not alone in whatever I talked to them about (so as to make the guy feel big and powerful again).
    Keep it a two-way conversation as much as you can.

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    what do i say then to get a dance?
    ^It never hurts to stay playful and fun along with the nodding, smiling and consoling-lines like, "I'm sure I can find a way to cheer you up *cheeky smile, takes custy's hand and leads him to the LD area*" or "You look like you need some fun. Would you like to come and have some fun with me?". Regardless of what they are talking about, always bring it back to the sale (I've used these lines before with success )And, if they aren't interested and you're too nice to ditch someone in that state say something that gives you an excuse to exit but isn't rude, "I think I'm on stage soon, I better go check."

    Otherwise definitely get tipped for your time! If you have been sitting with them for some time, they have declined and you have already worked the room suggest they tip you for your time by saying something like, "I really want to keep talking to you, but I the managers like us to move along . Would you like to give me a little tip for my time? Then we could keep talking " (it's more the way you say it than what you say).

    We do double as baby sitters and councillors, so it's bound to happen eventually. IMO they are there to either escape or for company-gage this and alter your hustle to suit it .
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    Quote Originally Posted by bunny8558 View Post
    I've had this happen and make great money off of just being nice,compassionate, and telling them that they HAVE to let me cheer them up with some dances.I typically dig for a personal story to make it a conversation in which we share bs that has happened, I praise them for being over it, and I tell them how great it is to know that I am not alone
    ^This!
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    yeah i read tears are the number 1 way to kill a boner haha, welp they certainly are killing my stripper boner, it totally throws me off! what if they say " ok, go earn some money, don't let me get in the way" what do i say then to get a dance?
    Hmm, I kind feel like at that point if he doesn't open his wallet and at least pony up a twenty then he's probably not going to! And you do have to make money and they know that!! I don't know though, I guess it's a case by case basis....still, 3 crying men that might be a record lol

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    I'm glad I saw this thread because I've had to deal with a few crying guys. Most of the time, there's a bottle involved and some sad guy is trying to drown his troubles. Usually by the time the water works start, I've already made enough money so I listen for a while, hug them, and leave. Terrible, I know. Maybe next time I'll stick around... I'm just not really into having some grown man dripping tears and snot all over my brand new Pleasers.

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    Quote Originally Posted by hollywood6 View Post
    That is sad! ): I don't think I've encountered too many of these types.

    I would think you could use it to your advantage by telling them they should go in the VIP with you and you could talk more discreetly and spend some time alone. These might me the kinds of customers who would pay just to talk to you, rather than want you to dance the whole time. I wouldn't feel guilty over it, after all, they came to the strip club for a reason. There is a reason they picked a strip club over talking to a friend or a family member.
    Had an experience with this last week. After talking to this guy for a while(there were only 2 other customers in the bar and they were both with dancers already) it started to get messy- he began to open up about marriage problems and some very personal issues. I was being an attentive listener and I was trying to bring the convo to a warmer place to close him on some dances and it just didn't seem like I was going to come across as anything but a money hungry stripper.
    I gazed over at the time(very discreetly) and became aware that I had been talking to this guy for almost half an you and I would be off work in 30 minutes. I was starting to think that I wasn't going to have a chance to make any money with him.
    He was a yellow, and after all this time gaining rapport and listening to his problems and small talk/banter, I got a bit closer to him and got a little bit touchy: arm around the back of his chair, occasionally touching his arm and his hand- it was well received. When the moment felt right I looked in his eyes and said something like 'I'm really enjoying talking to you out here and I'd love to spend more time with you, let's go to the back and spend some more time together.' when I took him to the champagne room I was even worried that since we were pretty much just talking and hugging- he might not pay me for every song. Luckily he did and gave me q great tip too.

    Quote Originally Posted by britneyireland View Post
    I built my career on these guys! In Dancerwealth these guys are what i call the Yellow Personality type and I use The Friendship Hot Button to keep them coming back. It sounds like the fatal mistake you are making is pressing the friendship hot button BEFORE you collect payment.
    I TOTALLY need to work on this more! One of the last shifts I worked before yesterday when I worked, I pressed the Friendship button too soon and for too long, and then it was really hard to to try to bring the convo back to dances in a natural way. I couldn't effectively close them and I felt like crap at the end of my shift. It wasn't the busiest day but I left with 1/3 of a satisfactory day's earnings.

    I turned it around when I worked yesterday. I really focused more on controlling topics with customers, gaining rapport and gathering information, then tailoring my close to their personality type and getting them in the back. Then, as they are enjoying being entertained, I push the friendship hot-button to extend our visit and hopefully cultivate a few regulars too ; )

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    i totally feel you guys on the "friendship button" thing..i actually caught myself getting too palsy with a custy and immediately made my voice higher, started twirling my hair and giving the doe eyes, and he got some dances. i feel if i hadn't turned it back to feminine and seductive he wouldn't have..that's a big problem for me because growing up i had all guy friends and was a total tomboy so i talk to guys like buddies. have..to...stop!!

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    It's so easy to do that too. I guess because I'm a mom at home pretty much all the time, work is like "something to get me out of the house"and I play it up like that on certain customers and then after chatting for a while I notice that I've lost hold of the conversation and it would be really hard to leave politely- because you pretty much know that you're. It going to be able to sell this guy.
    The worst is when it happens when there is a high dancer to customer ratio and you went and wasted your time on the only guy in the room that doesn't buy dances. I am really hard on myself when this happens.
    The truth is though, IMHO it's about mindset and focus. You just have to be in the mood to be selling and know what you're doing and pay attention to the customer you're dealing with.

    I was a casual 420 recreationalist and when I used to dance before I quit and came back again, I'd smoke on my way to work and at work when I was bored. Now that I don't do it at work or even on my way, I'm much more focused on results and it makes me more effective at managing my time in the club. I've never gotten super stoned or drunk at work luckily. I don't know how the girls at work who do it every night make as much as they could if they didn't.

    Bottom line, you are at work to make money, and the guys you take the time to talk to have to appreciate you for your time ($$$). Its not mean, this is a business. If you feel you're going to have too much trouble trying to bring the conversation back to closing and you see money to be made in the room(ping pong eyes, guys with drink almost finished looking at watch or guys looking at you a lot) just do the right thing, politely excuse yourself and suggest that you come back and join him again once you've 'said hello' to some friends, check with the Dj if you're up on stage soon, touch up your makeup...etc. and go make some $$$!

    In certain situations, it's just not worth more time and energy that you've already lost on him to battle the resistance or trying to regress the friendship back to a mysterious sexy Encounter.
    If you're bold like me, you might say something like " you know(insert name) I'm really enjoying getting to know you, let's go and spend some time together somewhere a little more quiet and get to know each other better." Or if he's new at the club or just visiting, I mention that the manager doesn't like when the girls chat with the customers for too long without at least getting tipped for her time. If at that moment he doesn't tip or ask for dances and the server just happens to be returning to the table to bring him another drink and there are bills being given as change, if it feels right(usually if I've already gotten him to loosen up and smile and laugh a bit- I just say "hey, you've got a ($5,$10 or $20)there, I could just use that for a tip (big smile and bat eyelashes).
    Even if I haven't made money on him, at least I've brightened his day with my charm; )

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    Default Re: how to hustle crying customers!

    I honestly never have had time to deal with stuff like this. Patience goes away when people want to pour their heart out to a stranger. This is what bars and bartenders are for as well as shrinks. I tell my shrink everything why cant these guys?

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