I have a terrrrrrrrible memory for names. Even if I hear a name 4-5 times, sometimes that isn't enough. So, in my head, I give them names based on random traits. If they vaguely resemble a likeable celebrity, I will act cute and call them by that name to distract from the fact that I've forgotten their real name. If it's not a particularly positive nickname, I obviously keep it to myself! I swear it's not mean-spirited, just a product of boredom and my twisted mind. A few of my examples:
Year 10 Geography Teacher (Most shameful as he's my no. 1 regular and I really should know his name.)
Mildew Zealand (Kiwi guy who smells faintly mouldy.)
Happy Clappy (Adorable intellectually disabled guy who claps with glee during lapdances.)
Steve Buscemi
Versace
Richard Branson
Sting
Stallone
Liam Neeson
Motley Crue (50-year-old guy who dresses like and 80s hair band member, hair included.)
Long lost Australian member of Rolling Stones
Adam Hills (Aussie comedian. When I mentioned his striking resemblance, he laughed and said, "I get that a lot." Still not sure if it was really him...)
Warwick Capper (Ex Aussie Football player)
Dermott Brereton (Ditto)
Oh-shit-that's-my-dad-wait-no-it's-not guy. He looks and dresses exactly like my Dad. And is of the same height. And has the same Aussie farmer weathered skin... Who is not my Dad... But bears such a resemblance that I'm relieved that he's never showed interest in me. I've never had the balls to even hustle him. He could be rich but I don't care! Too creeped out to even find out. Thankfully he only appears once every few months.
Your turn!




Reply With Quote



And Judas is still in the freezer.

Bookmarks