Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

  1. #1
    Featured Member zivlet's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    1,078
    Thanks
    769
    Thanked 1,353 Times in 542 Posts

    Default Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Okay so I've worked at one particular club consistently for about a year and a half-only going elsewhere on occasion when I've been bored.
    Since I began working there-one guy has been asking me to go out with him and I've always said no and told him I don't date customers, don't want to go out with anybody but do like him etc etc-he's always spent money on me, not a LOT, but enough to turn an okay night into a good one-like he'll always give me £50 or £80 when he comes in.

    This guy is 'friends' with all the girls. Most of them,even the more reserved ones-have him as a fb friend.

    He's a really nice guy. He's in his late forties, kind,funny, trustworthy, intelligent-I trust him enough to have even given him a lift home before now as have other girls.He's not much to look at though .
    I am getting pissed off though because recently he's been asking me out persistently, every time he has come in. All the way through a dance he's been talking about how it's obvious we like one another and It's obvious it's just me being too scared to let him in and I should just give him a chance etc etc.
    I just get around it by saying 'Dude, I know you say this to allllll the girls!' (He does, but he reckons he does it more with me).......whatever!
    I confided in another girl about it and she said he's done similar to her-and to others, he seems desperate to just date any of us and is becoming more and more of a pest-but will this mean he'll soon get bored and stop spending money?!

    At this moment I'm so irritated by him that I can deal with losing the money he spends on me but he also brings a friend in with him who spends on me too.....
    I got a message off him recently begging me to go out with him and saying he's hurting wanting me and stuff. I don't know what to reply to it other than being nasty.
    Because he's a nice, intelligent guy I'm inclined to think that he's just aiming out of his league wants to date a dancer, he could quite easily find himself a nice girl he's very good company, but he's decided he wants a dancer girlfriend and won't settle for anything else.I'm not sure what to say-I have to reply to his message I can't ignore it forever. Ugh!
    Any experiences to share?
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

  2. #2
    Veteran Member charlotte_ai's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2012
    Location
    In my head
    Posts
    202
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 308 Times in 103 Posts
    My Mood
    Twisted

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Depends, I guess, how you feel about manipulating this guy. You've got a few options, really.

    You can cut him (and his money) off completely, refuse to interact with him in the club and explain you find the constant badgering to go out with him too much to handle.

    You can tell him you have met someone, and cannot go out with him as you are now in a new relationship and your new guy doesn't want you seeing customers OTC.

    You can try and string him along continuing as he is now, and accept that his money has a price attached to it (and maybe as a consequence, aim for more from him to compensate him being a pain in the ass.)

    Or you can decide to manipulate the guy. If he's nice he will be more susceptible. Make up some stories, a crisis needing money urgently, get visably upset, try and get him into VIP and pour your heart out to him with a (fake) story of woe and suffering. Use this to milk him really, really hard over a short space of time, hopefully once he starts feeling like his spending is excessive, you will have put him off and made yourself appear less than appealing as a date. Depending how good an actress you are, you may also be able to say you are too upset to leave the house when not at work. Work is the only place you feel safe, and so on. That way you have an out for ever seeing him outside of work, and an issue that you just need urgent help with while in the club. Anxiety, sleep disorders, someone followed you from the club and you're now petrified to go anywhere but to and from work....

    Just a range of suggestions. I have used most of these on guys at some point. I definitely charge them more if they are turning into a pain in the ass, and I've worked the "I need your help" hustle on some of my regulars plus random guys to get more $$$ out of them. I regularly invent stories if I can see it will get me more money.

    If a guy refuses to respect my boundaries, pushes, insults or disrespects me, I feel they totally deserve a violent, ruthless and extended wallet raping.

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to charlotte_ai For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Senior Member Holly_V's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    175
    Thanks
    212
    Thanked 191 Times in 84 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    He doesn't sound particularly nice if he's ignored you declining his advances and continued to put quite a lot of pressure on you. Sounds like he doesn't respect boundaries very much. Other than that I agree with everything Charlotte said above.

    If you want him to back off a bit I would firstly cut OTC contact like giving him lifts and messaging him. He might be misinterpretting this as interest.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Holly_V For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Featured Member zivlet's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    1,078
    Thanks
    769
    Thanked 1,353 Times in 542 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly_V View Post
    He doesn't sound particularly nice if he's ignored you declining his advances and continued to put quite a lot of pressure on you. Sounds like he doesn't respect boundaries very much. Other than that I agree with everything Charlotte said above.

    If you want him to back off a bit I would firstly cut OTC contact like giving him lifts and messaging him. He might be misinterpretting this as interest.
    Good point-about him not being THAT nice!Can imagine if you did go out with him how insecure and guilt-trippy he would be and how clingy?!Lol
    Last time I took him home, outside his house he said 'Right I'm not getting out of the car until you've told me you'll at least give me a chance!' lol


    Quote Originally Posted by charlotte_ai View Post
    Depends, I guess, how you feel about manipulating this guy. You've got a few options, really.

    You can cut him (and his money) off completely, refuse to interact with him in the club and explain you find the constant badgering to go out with him too much to handle.

    You can tell him you have met someone, and cannot go out with him as you are now in a new relationship and your new guy doesn't want you seeing customers OTC.

    You can try and string him along continuing as he is now, and accept that his money has a price attached to it (and maybe as a consequence, aim for more from him to compensate him being a pain in the ass.)

    Or you can decide to manipulate the guy. If he's nice he will be more susceptible. Make up some stories, a crisis needing money urgently, get visably upset, try and get him into VIP and pour your heart out to him with a (fake) story of woe and suffering. Use this to milk him really, really hard over a short space of time, hopefully once he starts feeling like his spending is excessive, you will have put him off and made yourself appear less than appealing as a date. Depending how good an actress you are, you may also be able to say you are too upset to leave the house when not at work. Work is the only place you feel safe, and so on. That way you have an out for ever seeing him outside of work, and an issue that you just need urgent help with while in the club. Anxiety, sleep disorders, someone followed you from the club and you're now petrified to go anywhere but to and from work....

    Just a range of suggestions. I have used most of these on guys at some point. I definitely charge them more if they are turning into a pain in the ass, and I've worked the "I need your help" hustle on some of my regulars plus random guys to get more $$$ out of them. I regularly invent stories if I can see it will get me more money.

    If a guy refuses to respect my boundaries, pushes, insults or disrespects me, I feel they totally deserve a violent, ruthless and extended wallet raping.
    You're amazing! Thank you
    I'll get my brain in gear about what of these options to say to him. I'll block him from most of my fb posts though. I don't go out all that often but I don't want him seeing pictures of me out and about and stuff lol
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

  7. #5
    Senior Member Holly_V's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    175
    Thanks
    212
    Thanked 191 Times in 84 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Quote Originally Posted by sugarmouse0707 View Post
    Last time I took him home, outside his house he said 'Right I'm not getting out of the car until you've told me you'll at least give me a chance!' lol
    He sounds creeperific

  8. #6
    Featured Member zivlet's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    1,078
    Thanks
    769
    Thanked 1,353 Times in 542 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Lol I know-he DID get out without me saying that, obviously!(unless he's still there now hmmmm... )
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to zivlet For This Useful Post:


  10. #7
    Veteran Member charlotte_ai's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2012
    Location
    In my head
    Posts
    202
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 308 Times in 103 Posts
    My Mood
    Twisted

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    I know you mentioned this guy is nice and seems trustworthy, but just be careful in case all this rejection he's copping from the girls causes him to have a brain-snap...

  11. #8
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    I feel like there's a guy like that at every club. IME money from such customers has ended not because the customer got sick of rejection but because the dancer felt he wasn't worth the headache. £50-80 is great, but there comes a point where it's just not worth the energy to deal with the wallet it comes from, especially if it takes you away from other money or puts you in a sour mood and affects your later money.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to shanna dior For This Useful Post:


  13. #9
    Featured Member zivlet's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    1,078
    Thanks
    769
    Thanked 1,353 Times in 542 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    The same dancer I confided in told me that a few weeks ago he was pestering her for a date and she distracted herself from the situation by going to go talk to someone else, and said that she would speak to him later-managed to avoid him for the rest of the night-and at closing time, he was waiting for her by the door!
    He opened his arms and lifted his hands in a 'Whaaaa?!?' Gesture and said 'Lora you said you'd speak to me later!!But you haven't!!'
    Lol
    Bless he's probably desperate.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

  14. #10
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    2,078
    Thanks
    4,898
    Thanked 2,463 Times in 1,135 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    I feel like there's a guy like that at every club... it's just not worth the energy to deal with the wallet it comes from, especially if it takes you away from other money or puts you in a sour mood and affects your later money.
    ^This sums up exactly what I was thinking.

    If it's quiet, by all means get that $50-80 dollars out of him. Otherwise, he sounds like a bit of a time waster for the money he's spending on you. I would ignore his advances and persistence and he will eventually get bored and move onto another girl (you might lose him as a regular eventually, but it sounds like he isn't big spender anyway ). Regulars are fickle and have a shelf life (especially if they are looking for more than they can find inside the SC doors).
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

  15. #11
    Featured Member zivlet's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    1,078
    Thanks
    769
    Thanked 1,353 Times in 542 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    I think £50 is about $33 so £80 is about $120 I think but yes he isn't last of the big spenders-just someone that especially in the climate as it is now, is worth keeping as a customer-to an extent! You're right.... You never know though maybe if I turn a little nasty it may work on him in a way that's good for me.
    I still don't know what to reply to his message though :/
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post


    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

  16. #12
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Quote Originally Posted by sugarmouse0707 View Post
    I still don't know what to reply to his message though :/
    How did you get this message? Text? Email? Honestly, I'd probably just ignore it. If he brings it up in person, tell him you were too busy to check your phone/email.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to shanna dior For This Useful Post:


  18. #13
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    202
    Thanks
    284
    Thanked 257 Times in 101 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Maybe you could use a passive aggressive approach and play 'a little game' with him. Is he interested in sports? Some types of sports have penalty boxes where players have to spend a certain amount of time for breaking the rules. Tell him every time he brings up OTC dates while you're dancing with him, $10 (or whatever denomination sounds good to you) has to go into the "Penalty Box". Bring a tip tray, jar, etc. for this purpose. In addition to compensation, you get your message across in a way that may ease your irritation with him and thus keep him as a customer.

  19. #14
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    107
    Thanks
    65
    Thanked 170 Times in 45 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    To be honest; desperate can turn deadly very easily. You mentioned he is on your face book, I am assuming its your real one because you said you restrict the post he can see.

    In my club we had a guy like this show up at a dancers Mom's insurance company thinking he could convince her to talk her daughter into dating him.

  20. #15
    Veteran Member britchick85's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    499
    Thanks
    195
    Thanked 240 Times in 153 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    You can tell him you have met someone, and cannot go out with him as you are now in a new relationship and your new guy doesn't want you seeing customers OTC


    This is what i would do.He will no doubt move on to one of the other girls in the club.I will tell him I am happy to talk to him and dance ITC.But it will never be possible to pursue an OTC reletionship

  21. #16
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    178
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 63 Times in 50 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    ugh, it sucks be you. I wouldn't waste my time nickeling and diming. I hate dealing with annoying motherfuckers wanting a date. That's why I don't give numbers, emails, etc. Its stupid and makes it hard on next girls too, because they think its common and will have a shot w/ you and every other dancer. When I was 18 this shit really didnt happen giving out ways to reach you unless u really wanted to hook up lol. Im now 33 and shit is crazy. Guys don't spend as much on dancers cuz everybody providing ways for guys to reach them and they don't come in club as often and don't really spend as much when they think you going be their girlfriend. Stripperweb blames porn, yeah right!! Try to be hard to get and not easy like you are at their level for dating. I provide dances , that's my job, not stringing a long a bad experience to be passed around. Good luck! Break the cycle!!

  22. #17
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    178
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 63 Times in 50 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    Just make it clear you are there to dance not hook up. Ask him if he wants a dance, if he wants to bullshit, move on. It stupid just keep feeding into it for little money.

  23. #18
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    178
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 63 Times in 50 Posts

    Default Re: Dealing with persistant, pesky regulars

    ,,, or any money. How much more you going make standing there bullshitting about why you cant see him out the club. Move on from it. That isn't any money

Similar Threads

  1. Regulars.... and other peoples regulars.
    By dtxgirl in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-15-2008, 08:53 PM
  2. I didn't know a tortoise could be so persistant
    By High_Heel_Lover in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-29-2008, 09:33 PM
  3. Percentage of regulars vs non-regulars
    By Bubby in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 05-27-2007, 04:33 PM
  4. Dealing with a *****
    By goldengrl69 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-16-2005, 09:52 AM
  5. Regulars annoying/pissing off other Regulars
    By Fan in forum General Board
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-16-2003, 07:58 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •