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Thread: How do you feel when you leave the club?

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    Default How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Hi everyone! This is my first post!

    Friday is my first night at a club. I've given the choice to dance a lot of thought (maybe even TOO much, ha!) a couple of things come to mind every time I feel hesitant to go through with it, but the biggest has got to be not what others might think of my decision, but how I will feel once I've done it. My question is this: you got all pumped to go audition, you got the gig, and you put your nerves aside and shook your assets like no tomorrow. Sure, you just made a couple of bills-but when you get home and look in the mirror, what did you think about how you'd just spent the last however many hours? Surprised that you had it in you? Proud? Sexy? Embarrassed? A little less dignified?

    I feel very comfortable with my body and sexuality, but I'm not the girl IRL that flaunts it or puts it on display. (I've been told I dress like a "mom" before). I like to think of sex as something special and personal, and while dancing isn't sex, it certainly leaves a distinct impression. How has this career Affected your view of sex and intimacy? And at any point did it feel "cheapened"?

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    Senior Member kraize4step's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    For me it actually makes me quick to quip at people. I use up all of my nice fakeness at the club so i dont have time to pretend to be a sweetheart outside of work which results in less people that I am phony with/talk to. I look at myself as the same person. Even though I get complimented every other few minutes it doesnt make my head bigger or anything. I feel like Ive stayed true to myself even after the last two months that Ive bbeen doing this. Lol not long thats for sure. :p

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    To me, it's just a job. A fun job, but still just a job, so when I come home I feel like I've had a productive past few hours. I've never felt surprised, embarrassed, or undignified, though I do feel proud when I surpass a goal or reach a new all-time high in earnings.

    Dancing isn't sexy or intimate to me, and I don't at all feel like it has cheapened my views or experiences of sex and intimacy. It sounds like you have some not-so-underlying issues with dancing that you should probably face soon. If dancing makes you feel embarrassed or undignified, or if it cheapens your views/experiences of sex and intimacy, it's probably not the right job for you - and that's okay. Not everyone can do this job, and that's why we get the big bucks.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Well, I'm not sure that it does. The stage doesn't intimidate me at all, but the lap dance is something I've never done for someone other than a partner, so I'm not sure how I might feel afterward. I'm excited/nervous, but mostly because this has just been a fantasy of mine for a few years. Now that its actually happening, I'm having a little bit of cold feet. Just wondering if that's a normal feeling.

    I'm on my way to the club now to feel out the vibe. I'm hoping I feel a bit moe at ease once I'm in the scene and can see it all pulled together.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Going to the club will DEFINITELY help. It's the difference between the devil you know and the devil you don't.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    I don't ever feel negative towards myself.
    I try to avoid late night shifts because it takes me a good hour to wind down after work; no matter how tired I am, I rehash in my mind/to boyfriend/in my blog what crazy thing was said or done that shift.
    Generally I feel productive, occasionally pissy if it was a bad night (usually due to a non-tipping, drink-nursing crowd).

    There is actually a paragraph in "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" about this.. "I woke up the next morning. Looked at my hand; same hand, same girl. Then I made breakfast." That was how I felt when I first started.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Thank you guys for the feedback. Just left the club and feeling a LOT more at ease. My friend picked a girl she was enamoted with and so I told her to tip her onstage and find us when she was done. I told my friend to let the girl hustle a little so I could take mental notes. I bought her a lap dance and watched the girl work it!

    I think in my mind I had a way foggier idea of what the vibe was like. Met the manager and he bought us a round after asking only our guy friend to pay cover. Everyone was friendly and the music was great. I'm actually excited for Friday now!

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    You're gonna do great. Stop being so intelligent and thinking about things, it'll be easier.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    The first few nights I did it, I specifically looked in the mirror at myself to see if I felt any different. And each time, all I could think was "Helllll YEAH!"

    At the right club and with a healthy mentality + work/life balance, stripping can be a great gig. And when you first start (you aren't all jaded and whatnot), it's a fantastic feeling to walk out with more money in one night than you could've made at a straight job in a week or more.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Oh...I should mention that the morning after will be quite crispy for you. If you've never worked a shift stripping, it's like trying to run a marathon without doing any preparation. 8 hours of dancing will result in bruises, supersore muscles, etc. But your endurance will improve each time!

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Haha, I am already stupid sore from practicing. I couldn't even walk down stairs today without looking a little like I had hemorroids! lol

    when we got home, I put my research to the test and gave our guy friend a striptease and lapdance. On a scale of "tease-y" to "sleazy" I was rated very well. He high fived me and gave me a $20, haha. After a couple of songs, my legs quit hurting, although I'm sure Ill feel it tomorrow...

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    I usually feel great after work, unless it was a shitty night lol. But I rarely leave with less than $400 so I'm usually not in a bad mood after work!

    On an average night at the end of the night, I feel accomplished. Being able to work whenever I want, sometimes it's hard to drag myself into work. But when I do, I'm always happy I made the decision. Being able to make the kind of money I make, makes me feel very grateful.

    Before I started dancing I couldn't picture myself as a dancer at all. I had no idea I'd become a top earner. I'm generally an introverted person and before I started dancing I never flaunted my sexuality. I've had sex with very few men in my lifetime. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to portray sexiness, so I was extremely intimidated my first shift and yes, I had the feeling of being surprised that I had it in me. Now it's just a job, a very financially beneficial job that's putting me through school and giving me as much time off as I desire.

    As far as being embarrassed or feeling less dignified, no way. I am a dancer, an entertainer - nothing more. I am classy at work, my customers respect me. I knew going into dancing that I'd maintain my class and my dignity; if I thought otherwise, I wouldn't have started dancing. If anything, I feel very dignified when I get home from work. I feel like I carried myself well and made several hundred dollars. I can look at myself in the mirror with no shame, only happiness and thankfulness that I'm able to have such a job and thrive.
    "Rather have my feet hurting than my pockets."

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    i feel extremely irritable, tired, hungry, dehydrated but if i've had a good night the next morning im elated.
    when i first started dancing the first lap dance i did i felt totally slutty and disgusting and shameful ( my parents' didn't approve and i was raised religious which im sure added to that deep down). but after 3 days it was fine, i tried perfecting my style and trying new things and looked at it as a challenge and i felt great that i was earning so much more money than i used to. now the though of feeling undignified is laughable so give it time.

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    Featured Member zivlet's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    If I've had a bad night money wise I get grouchy but nothing else-I put it behind me.
    Other than that, if I've made enough money I feel great in myself-I'm usually hungry and dehydrated and a bit achy!But that's easy fixed. I have left clubs if I don't feel comfortable in them-if I get on well with other girls and staff and feel well-treated then I generally feel great after work.
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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i feel extremely irritable, tired, hungry, dehydrated but if i've had a good night the next morning im elated.
    when i first started dancing the first lap dance i did i felt totally slutty and disgusting and shameful ( my parents' didn't approve and i was raised religious which im sure added to that deep down). but after 3 days it was fine, i tried perfecting my style and trying new things and looked at it as a challenge and i felt great that i was earning so much more money than i used to. now the though of feeling undignified is laughable so give it time.
    this is exacctly how i felt. a little embarrassed bc of the religious stuff..it's years later and ive been dancing here and there and it's just a job- i dont feel anything really when i leave except exhaustion and i dont want to talk to anyone or do anything but if i banked that day i am in a fabulous mood and sometimes go treat myself picking up a chicken fried steak from chillis lol or whatever im craving. reward yourself here and there bc it can become stressful at times.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    like nina said, i am also very greatful that i have been able to strip during some really financially tough times. there was a time that i would have been in a homeless shelter and thanks to dancing i made enough to get back on feet when i have needed. some people do not have this opportunity..

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    When I first started dancing I was more concerned about making money and not breaking rules. The dances, the hustle...I just kinda went with the flow and tried to be myself. Dancing at first was awesome because I could party AND make money doing it. I didn't think it could get better than that. As time has gone on, while my primary concern is still making money, I feel much more emotionally and mentally drained when my shift ends. It's sometimes exhausting separating yourself from your stripper persona. And the party, grew old after a while. I have always felt accomplished on my good nights, and disappointed after a bad night, maybe discouraged if I saw extras girls making cash when I wasn't. As far as sex and whatnot is concerned, I feel like dancing had made me more ladylike or conservative in my personal life. I think it's because with dancing we put ourselves out there so much, that I naturally wanna remain under the radar and keep to myself outside of work.
    Dancing is a great way to make money, but it isn't for everyone. Just take your time with everything, have fun, be observant to what's going on around you, and listen to your gut feeling. Do what makes you happy.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    I am tired, irritable, and happy tho about the $$$ I made the night before.

    My first night I cried but I had a guy put his finger In my pussy so...I think I deserved a breakdown once I got home. Then I got over it and exams an awesome pretty clean dancer (I say pretty clean because I allow some contact but nothing involving genitals or kissing etc).

    The more you strip the easier it should get.

    However-draw your line for your boundaries. Don't cross it. Cuz the first time you cross that line it hurts, but it becomes easier each time and your line gets pushed further and further away. For many people this leads to depression and self loathing. I dont recommend that route.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    It depends...guys think that we're 24 hour sex machines. When I get home sometimes my man wants some nooky I tell him to fuck off.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Tired, thirsty, sore. BUT happy making that cheddar!
    I'd grab my trumpet and I'd do a stripper sound, like the old Louis Armstrong, real raspy. And the people would go nuts! Then I knew that the sexual, sensual, guttural sound, that throbbing sound, is where it's at.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Tired, hungry, feet hurt, and I'm ready for a hot shower to relax my muscles. Sometimes a little meh if it was not good money and there were a lot of assholes. Usually I'm chuckling about the crazy things that happened in the club that night. Drunk girl customer trying to climb up on stage. The professional guy who came in wearing a suit with his shirt off and belt around his neck dancing the dougie in champagne. It's a pretty interesting time.

    On the other side of things.. When I was at clubs that were a bad fit or I when I went through bad burnout from working two jobs and taking classes I would be annoyed. The customers can tell if you are comfortable and having fun or stressed out and when you're not feeling it its like the jerks can smell it.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    Normally when I leave...of course I feel tired. Now like the other girls said, It still is a job, but a fun job! I normally think to myself, " Well, I put on an act for 7 hours, not its time to rest and go back to the normal old me." I always feel better when I leave than when I first come into work.

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    Default Re: How do you feel when you leave the club?

    When i get off i usually feel tired & satisfied. If i had a strange encounter ill feel pensive & go home & write. Sometimes im hyped & giddy, luckily i live in a late night tourist town & other service industry workers will be getting off too, then theres a real nice commraderie to have a drink & bu
    llshit. I never had any shame about it, but i will say go get yourself some epsom salt &
    dump it in the bath for when your legs are sore!

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