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Thread: New to Independent Escorting in the US

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    Default New to Independent Escorting in the US

    Hello!

    I am not new to this business, but am definitely new to this side of it. The wonderful folk over at SAAFE sent me here to be able to access US resources. So, anyways- I have some questions that I would love some answers too.

    1. Rates. Right now, I have an hourly rate per date. However, I would like to charge more if certain out of the ordinary things are expected of me (such as fetish work). I really do not want to end up on the wrong side of the law and I am well aware of the risks of discussing certain transactions via phone, email and in person. My big question is then: How do we discuss services v. rates? I generally negotiate before any dates (escorting or not), its just kind of how I roll.

    Also, I know the basics of charging for time and activities (like dinner or trips).. It makes sense but then do I just charge a broad rate that I feel applies to all that I am willinng with a client and leave it at that? Can I be an active participant in negotiating my physical boundaries and limits (regardless of rates) or will that alone put me at legal risk?

    2. Support. I am very new to independent work. For the most part, I have an intermediary in the past who handled basically everything. I could really use folks with experience to chat with and bounce stuff off of. I am cool with just talking online. My city has zero resources, and while I do know folks in the business, they are in very different areas (one does sugar daddy stuff, the other is a pro-domme).

    Thanks!

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    try the search button first for answers

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    I have. I don't know if I am using the wrong keywords or what, but I haven't found anything around prices/services and negotiating around the law.

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    at the top of the other work section there are sticky threads including

    1. everything you need to know about independent escorting in one paragraph

    2. how to calculate your escort rate

    also a few others which will be helpful
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    Yes, I read those. They don't tell me how to actually communicate with clients around certain acts and prices without ending up in jail. Do I just take the risk?

    like, I figured out the basic rate I would like via the formula in that one thread. I also know how to adjust for time and travel. But, what I don't know how to do is say I will do a BBBJ for this extra, or if there are two of you, only for this amount extra- without ending up on the wrong side of the law.

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    its a word-twisting game in my experience..

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    I'm going to say this bluntly, and other girls can feel free to correct me but I think they will agree.

    There is no way to charge extra for anything, that makes you a hooker. You charge for time only, ever. There is no upsell.

    You NEVER talk about anything sexual, ever. Not what you will or won't do, don't even say you like sex. If someone mentions it you hang up the phone or delete the email.

    You do not communicate anything that even sounds like a sexual act. No acronyms, no GFE, nothing. It's not clever because everyone knows what you're talking about, including LE.

    BBBJ is up to you. I never did it because it wasn't worth it to me and I think it's gross. If a client wants to find out what you will or won't do they can read about what someone else posted when they reviewed you, that's it. A lot of girls do it, but a lot of girls don't and still make just as good money without it.

    You say you're not new to the business, but it sounds like you are based on your posts?? Were you in Canada or something?
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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    I am new to independent escorting. I came from a much different situation where I was a lot more desperate/young and someone else was controlling things. I was pretty much a passive actor in all of it. I got out of that, got my shit together in a big way and am trying to get back into it on my own as an escort. I can't work for an agency because I am BBW and my experience so far is that they don't hire folks like me.

    Also, I mention BBBJ only as an example. Not really into risking my health like that personally.

    So far in my experiences as an independent, thats the question (BBBj or no BBBJ) I have been getting asked over phone. I always hang up due to law enforcement concerns. I am just worried about getting bad reviews or getting a bad rep, before I even break into things for real. But if that is the only way, then I'll deal. I just wasn't sure if I was missing something, since it just seemed like 80% of the calls I am getting are asking about this.

    So, I just charge for time. That's easy. I still want to be able to set boundaries if the case is shit gets physical. If later on in the date (after any transactions), things take that turn- is it safe to state boundaries/ limits?

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    I am new to independent escorting. I came from a much different situation where I was a lot more desperate/young and someone else was controlling things. I was pretty much a passive actor in all of it. I got out of that, got my shit together in a big way and am trying to get back into it on my own as an escort. I can't work for an agency because I am BBW and my experience so far is that they don't hire folks like me.

    Also, I mention BBBJ only as an example. Not really into risking my health like that personally.

    So far in my experiences as an independent, thats the question (BBBj or no BBBJ) I have been getting asked over phone. I always hang up due to law enforcement concerns. I am just worried about getting bad reviews or getting a bad rep, before I even break into things for real. But if that is the only way, then I'll deal. I just wasn't sure if I was missing something, since it just seemed like 80% of the calls I am getting are asking about this.

    So, I just charge for time. That's easy. I still want to be able to set boundaries if the case is shit gets physical. If later on in the date (after any transactions), things take that turn- is it safe to state boundaries/ limits?

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    Oh and funny enough, when I was working before- I was in Canada! Missed that part. Probably why I was never taught any of this, now that I think of it.

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    Okay that makes sense. Sorry about your experience glad you got your head on straight.

    Basically THE most important thing is screening, and you can read all about that here. I was busted and that was my mistake. Screening properly will eliminate 99% of your problems. Now other girls have different opinions than me, but I think that email is better to start. Email as a first "filter" and then you can speak on the phone as a secondary "filter" and use your intuition. Even if they pass screening, if something doesn't sound right on the phone, that's it. It's not worth it.

    Also different girls have different opinions, but in general back page is a no-no. Sometimes you can find good clients but in general it is cheapo and LE central. I have a feeling you might be using backpage because you said guys are calling you and most girls put their numbers up there.

    It's hard to say about how to tell someone what your personal limits are without using those "risky" terms to say, and I don't have a clear answer for you so maybe someone else will come in and say something, but for me I would just physically show them or move their hand or whatever it is, in a nice way with a smile of course!

    For instance, I never did deep french kissing, so I would just physically pull away or not let them do it, same with anal. You are in control, you show them what they can and cannot do.

    In general though, if you are screening properly you really won't run into that many problems. My escorting clients were much nicer and more well behaved than the majority of men I've dated in real life!

    Don't stress the reviews so much. Yes, they are important, but as long as you have a good attitude, are consistent (not let one guy do BBBJ and not another because they'll see it on the reviews and expect it) and look like your photos, you'll be fine. The hardest part is getting that first review, then you're set.
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    Quote Originally Posted by autumnlee View Post
    Oh and funny enough, when I was working before- I was in Canada! Missed that part. Probably why I was never taught any of this, now that I think of it.
    Yes Canada is VERY different when it comes to escorting, there is little to no screening. In the US it's much more important and expected from most guys (or most guys who are the type of clients you want I should say).
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    That's the other thing - if you did try to upsell based on a certain act not only is that bad for LE purposes but it'll get you bad reviews.
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    Thanks! That is very helpful.

    Yea, I feel pretty good about screening. Security has always been kind of a hobby of mine, so as far as keeping myself secure and making sure folks are who they say they are- I already possess a pretty good body of knowledge around that.

    And yea, I am on backpage until I get a website up. Then, I am was planning on moving over to Eros and some of the other sites I have seen recommended around here. I also have some physical connections in the city (like with cab/limo folks and some concierge type folks), but I wasn't sure if it was worth trying that. Seems like online is where folks are.

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    Thanks! That is very helpful.

    Yea, I feel pretty good about screening. Security has always been kind of a hobby of mine, so as far as keeping myself secure and making sure folks are who they say they are- I already possess a pretty good body of knowledge around that.

    And yea, I am on backpage until I get a website up. Then, I am was planning on moving over to Eros and some of the other sites I have seen recommended around here. I also have some physical connections in the city (like with cab/limo folks and some concierge type folks), but I wasn't sure if it was worth trying that. Seems like online is where folks are.

    Also, good to know about upselling. The disconnect from the clients requests and the advice I was seeing online was really confusing, so I am glad its cleared up. Basically, it seems like I just need to move off of backpage asap.

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    Default Re: New to Independent Escorting in the US

    Glad I could help! There are some other escorts much more experienced than I that can hopefully give some input as well but they are not on the board as often (I'm a cam girl now so I live on the internet lol)

    But yeah backpage is a no-no get on eros ASAP! Glad you have your screening skills ready! Sounds like you're headed in a good direction

    I've never gotten clients from connections like that, I know other girls have and have found success, but that's not something I would feel comfortable with personally. I don't know if they screened them or not, and if they did they didn't screen them as thoroughly as an online client because they can't really. I have heard that it can be a pretty good and lucrative way to get clients that otherwise wouldn't see an escort, but not my cup of tea.
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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