





I think the issue is one of surprise and non-consent. How does the stripper KNOW he's wearing a condom? I know I certainly would freak out if some client spewed body fluids at me.
Oh yeah, and it's gross.





The issue is that a stripper is not at work expecting guys to ejaculate on her and, seriously, DO you expect girls to start asking guys if they are wearing a rubber before she starts dancing for them?
What you are advocating is that anything goes without permission as long as the guy thinks that he has adequately prepared himself.
The problem with both of your statements is that you are assuming that a customer can do whatever he wants as long as HIS idea of acceptable conditions are met. It doesn't work that way. If you don't have the balls to either see an escort or actually ask a dancer if it's OK then it is NOT OK even if you are wearing a fucking wet suit while getting your dances.


Of course not. It's not the dancer's responsibility to prepare for a guy's itchy trigger finger, as it were.
This is the issue I was trying to discuss. I think it's both an issue of mentality and the "ew" factor involved with the exchange of bodily fluids. If it was just the latter, there would be no issue so long as the customer wears a hood, because it has no physical impact on the dancer. So I'll reiterate my question. What is wrong with a custie getting off if it's contained?
As I see it, it could be one of a few factors:
1) Once the custie accomplishes his goal, what's his incentive to keep buying dances? On the flip side, I bet any dancer who helps a custie accomplish his goal is more likely to see him again. So bad and good on that one.
2) Strip clubs are for the tease factor, not for release. This is a matter of opinion of course. For me, strip clubs are about sexual satisfaction. Certainly not sexual acts as with an escort, but I draw the line at those acts rather than a certain state of arousal, because I think the latter would be silly.
3) Societal factors. We tend to belittle those who can't control themselves. That one's routed in psychology, and I'm not sure any of us fully understands what drives it.
But the reason I asked the question was because I wanted to know what others think. So please stop seeing red, because I'm really interested in opinions regarding that specific scenario.





^^^ What if some girls are just skeeved out by the thought of having these guys cumming while they are against them, regardless of how "contained" it is? What if some dancers are just disgusted by the mere thought of a random stranger using her to blow his load? Why does it have to be more complicated than that?
This isn't a clinical study dude, it is real life, where emotions and comfort levels come into play. Now we all know that there are girls who are perfectly ok with it and some that even strive to get the guys off, but we also know that this is not universally the case. Why is this so hard for you to understand?





It's up to the dancer to decide what happens in the LD area, not the customer. The question of a condom is irrelevant to the lady UNLESS she has set that as a pre-condition of agreeing to allow the customer to ejaculate during the dance.
This is the same misogynistic BS that kept coming up in the infamous "boob sucking" thread a month or two ago. The bottom line is that you DO NOT do anything to a woman without asking her if it's OK first. In other words, grow a pair and ask, or negotiate, as it were, for what you want. Frankly some girls are more than happy to help you ejaculate in a strip club but most of them expect to make a lot of money for doing it.
By the way, if you post here we all get to answer...


It's not. Your reasoning was perfectly adequate. It's the torch and pitchfork routine that's hard to understand!
Misogyny?
This forum is rife with other problems, but actual misogyny seems to be well in hand. I imagine because this is a sort of safe haven for dancers and you want to keep it that way. If this line of questioning is offensive, I'll stop.





The question is not necessarily offencive, what's offencive is the way you only seem to be looking for loopholes in the answers, or ways completely around the answers, that you are receiving, to validate that IT IS in fact ok to splooge on or against a dancer 'as long as she doesn't know abt it!' Cuz it's all good & you got satisfied & no one got hurt, right? Right!
Sm of your posts give the impression that while you claim to not fancy escorts, for whatever reason, you have no problem treating dancers like escorts, except clearly w/ less respect. Getting jizzed on is not in our job description, in any way, shape or form. Your 'but she doesn't have to know abt it' bs holds no water bc 1) it's obvious by a guy's body language when he has blown a load, w/ or w/o a visible wet spot & 2) it's no different from sm POS quietly whacking off on a crowded train 'bumping' up against your sister right at the 'magic moment'.





If the questioning was offensive I would have deleted it and warned you with moderation points.
This site is more than "sort of" a save haven for dancers. It was created for dancers and exists for dancers. Customers are welcome to participate in selected areas but you are not going to get much traction around here trying to advocate your "it's all good if she doesn't know" approach to sexually assaulting women.


Framing what I'm talking about as sexual assault is ridiculous. It has roughly the same level of impact on the "victim" as masturbating while envisioning someone you know personally or from tv. Are we going to start coining that sexual assault?
While this site being a safe haven for dancers is good in a number of respects, it's also dangerous. A feedback loop of supporting opinions is never good for broadening viewpoints and promotes hostility; something adult entertainment is already rife with. I am NEVER for advocating against the comfort of a dancer. I try my best to never cross the line with dancers, and that has been rewarded. If you can't reconcile that with me asking the question of why such an act would be against their wishes, nothing I say will change that. Because several posters here already have it in their heads now that I'm misogynistic, perverted loser only interested in my own well-being.
I guess I can only hope some read my posts and take a different viewpoint.




No, because you masturbating in the privacy of your own home is not the same as ejaculating on an unwilling stripper. If you don't understand the difference here, you should not be around women until you do.
Contrary to your statements, you are arguing with dancers when they say "Hey, I am not comfortable with this." We're telling you why we arent ok with it. And, you know, thats well within our rights. There are plenty of strippers who are ok with it. Rather than foisting this on women who don't want to participate, find one that does or visit a provider who knows that dealing with ejaculation goes with the territory. Honestly, its easier for everyone. The misogyny comes in where you insist that you should be able to do whatever you want, with whomever you want, provided you do it in a way that you, and only you, find acceptable. Rather than doing the respectful think and asking the dancer what her limits are, you're looking for ways to completely circumvent her consent. That's assault.While this site being a safe haven for dancers is good in a number of respects, it's also dangerous. A feedback loop of supporting opinions is never good for broadening viewpoints and promotes hostility; something adult entertainment is already rife with. I am NEVER for advocating against the comfort of a dancer. I try my best to never cross the line with dancers, and that has been rewarded. If you can't reconcile that with me asking the question of why such an act would be against their wishes, nothing I say will change that. Because several posters here already have it in their heads now that I'm misogynistic, perverted loser only interested in my own well-being.
My viewpoint was formed exclusively by reading your posts. You think that it's ok to violate a dancer, as long as she doesn't get anything on her. Everyone else on this thread, male and female, is telling you that its sexual assault.I guess I can only hope some read my posts and take a different viewpoint.






Really? You want to quibble over semantics here?
I think that means you've lost the argument.





We are actually for broadening viewpoints here, if you look around a bit you will find plenty of threads full of back&forth among dancers & between dancers & customers that don't see eye to eye. Where you're running into trouble here is by looking for ways to get around dancers' plainly-stated lines of personal comfort so you can continue to get your full jollies at said dancers' expense.
By spewing 'It's ok to jizz on her as long as she doesn't know abt it' you are, in fact, nailing your own coffin shut here. Girls who actually do this for a living are telling you how they feel on this subj & you are basically saying, 'I really don't care how you feel abt it, bc as long as [insert responsibility-negating loophole here] then dammit, it shouldn't be a problem!'


Yes, because in this case there's quite a distinction between the exchange of bodily fluids among strangers and not that.
Once again, I never said that, plus I think that would be quite noticeable anyway! Plus, I can fully understand why that would be a problem and worthy of a knee to the face. However, other than yoda and rick, none of the responses to my question actually addressed it, but rather another question (why is it not okay to jizz on strangers?). But all responses were hostile. I'm a reasonable guy I think, and I believe yoda and rick have valid points, but the tone in which they were delivered left me feeling the need to defend myself; to clarify my question. And either people are misinterpreting it or choosing to answer another question because it's easier.
As for the valid responses, I get from rick that it's the mentality that men jizzing in their skivvies is disgusting to dancers, even if contained. Yoda seems to think that all behaviour in a SC is at the dancer's discretion when it comes to comfort levels. Like I said, valid answers. I happen to agree mostly with what yoda said, except the sexual assault part.



According to the United States Department of Justice Office on Violence Against Women, the definition of sexual assault is the following, "Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient."
Based on what you have continued to question and fight everyone on the topic of cumming yourself while wearing a rubber during a dance without telling the dancer...really does fall into the sexual assault category. Just saying...
Also - there have been plenty of women and men on here that have openly and honestly told you how they feel on the main topic of "problem with sweatpants", and you are the one blowing that off (pun intended). If you didn't want honest opinions on the matter, why ask. You can't get mad when everyone is telling you how they feel because you don't like it or feel defensive about it.




No, Ushar, there isn't any difference. Whether you use a condom or not, you've still ejaculated on someone. Without their consent. The minute difference is how much bodily fluid gets on the victim.
It seems like you're looking for validation that it's okay to completely sidestep consent here. If you want a dancer to get you off, why is discussing this with her a problem?







It seems like you're looking for validation that it's okay to completely sidestep consent here.
Not at all. I don't see the problem with it, but I can understand there is one and respect that.
Condom or no, you're not respecting that a dancer may have a problem w/ this if you deliberately use her to blow your load & don't give her the opportunity to consent or, y'know, not consent.


I don't do that. I wouldn't intentionally go into a strip club with the purpose of getting off, with or without a dancers consent.
Actually, I kind of forget the whole reason I asked the question in the first place. Had something to do with a related thread, and a poster in this thread said something applicable about it. It certainly wasn't so I could feel validated and go do this myself!





It's not about the level of impact, it's about the lack of consent that you so willingly promote in your posts here. If you honestly think that jerking off while watching television is the same thing as ejaculating during a lap dance I don't think we have much more to debate here. It's clear that you just don't get it.
LOL, well, it's your choice to post on SW or not. I agree that there is quite often a fair amount of hostility from the ladies here towards men who take your approach but I also understand where that hostility comes from. Your attempts at clinical discussion may seem innocent enough to you but you've never been naked and vulnerable in front of a customer fighting him off while you try to dance and he tries to stick his finger in you ass. Advocating that it's OK to do something of a sexual nature to a woman simply because she won't know it happened is ridiculous. Trying to promote it on a dancer support site is just asking for trouble.




It is absolutely 100% sexual assault. Would you like to know why it's nothing like masturbating to the TV? Because we aren't fucking images on the TV, we're actual people. Real life, living human beings who have a right to make our own boundaries and choices when it comes to sexual activity that we participate in.
You still never addressed how we are just supposed to know that you're wearing a condom. We have no way of knowing that. If you're trying to come, I have no idea if it's going to get on me or not. You don't think that makes me uncomfortable? Or does my comfort not matter because I'm just a sex worker and not a real person?



Something needs to change! These threads are scary. We need serious classes on consent and assault. And how to manage sexual frustration.
No one ever thinks of themselves as a rapist or committing assault. Instead - It was reasonable and mutually enjoyable. Justifiable. Everyone does it.
The protests? Oh ignore those. Just hysteria. Typical! I mean can't a person voice an opinion on here without being jumped on? I mean really, its just a little game. Everyone knows the rules. Its all fun. Nothing serious.





More to my point, it's asking for OTC or maybe worse for an extra at the club.
Interesting idea about "hobbyists" in the club. Maybe some guys looking for that in clubs are just looking to get laid however they can, and may be willing to pay an enticing gal for that one time, not thinking it is prostitution, just an inducement to play, and maybe an opportunity to get a sexy girlfriend. Of course that's almost always wrong and kind of a sad attempt at socializing on their part.
Last edited by threlayer; 06-19-2014 at 08:01 AM.
I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.
Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.
NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.





I think that a fair amount of what goes on is exactly what you stated above. The fact is there is a fair amount of denial among both guys who seek extras or OTC and dancers who offer these options.
The differences between hiring escorts and trying to score ITC extras or OTC stripper sex have been highlighted here dozens of times and I'm not going to do it again right now. The only thing I will say is that, as highlighted in this and other threads, there is a huge difference between having the "OTC" or "Extras" conversation with a girl and the both of you being on the same page vs. assuming that because a woman is dancing she is fair game for anything. The fact is even escorts are insulted by some of the stuff that guys try to do after they pony up their money. The prevailing assumption with a certain group of men who pay women to pay attention to them-in any venue-seems to be that they are renting a woman's body to do with as they wish. That attitude is, quite frankly, a little horrifying to see 14 years into the 21st century...
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