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Thread: Problem with sweat pants?

  1. #101
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    Framing what I'm talking about as sexual assault is ridiculous. It has roughly the same level of impact on the "victim" as masturbating while envisioning someone you know personally or from tv. Are we going to start coining that sexual assault?

    While this site being a safe haven for dancers is good in a number of respects, it's also dangerous. A feedback loop of supporting opinions is never good for broadening viewpoints and promotes hostility; something adult entertainment is already rife with. I am NEVER for advocating against the comfort of a dancer. I try my best to never cross the line with dancers, and that has been rewarded. If you can't reconcile that with me asking the question of why such an act would be against their wishes, nothing I say will change that. Because several posters here already have it in their heads now that I'm misogynistic, perverted loser only interested in my own well-being.

    I guess I can only hope some read my posts and take a different viewpoint.
    Using someone's body without their consent to masturbate yourself to completion is ridiculous. It's none of my business what you do for work, but how would you feel if a guy came in his pants, with a condom on, while you didn't know, while you were somehow touching him? It makes me so sad that people try to get the most they can without another human beings consent.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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  3. #102
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    Using someone's body without their consent to masturbate yourself to completion is ridiculous. It's none of my business what you do for work, but how would you feel if a guy came in his pants, with a condom on, while you didn't know, while you were somehow touching him?
    I wouldn't feel sexually assaulted. Heck, I've had an overly drunk female colleague grab my junk and make unwanted advances, and even then I shrugged it off as mildly embarrassing.

    If I was bisexual, I don't think what you're suggesting would bother me at all. Seeing as I'm not though, that remains an "if". Another "if": if I was a male stripper and a female customer got off while enjoying a dance from me, I don't see how that would bother me either, because it doesn't impact me in any way. Certainly, anyone I'm willing to give a lap dance to has my permission to enjoy it to its full extent!

    Clearly my opinion is in the minority here though, as I understand it. Obviously such a situation isn't fully relatable for me as I'm neither a woman, nor a stripper. I just wanted to know why an act I don't see as impacting the dancer at all bothers so many people. I've got my answer.

  4. #103
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Advocating that it's OK to do something of a sexual nature to a woman simply because she won't know it happened is ridiculous. Trying to promote it on a dancer support site is just asking for trouble.
    Kind of reminds me of those guys who drug women and rationalize their actions by saying "well she was passed out she doesn't remember..."

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  6. #104
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    Kind of reminds me of those guys who drug women and rationalize their actions by saying "well she was passed out she doesn't remember..."
    Very well put
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    I wouldn't feel sexually assaulted. Heck, I've had an overly drunk female colleague grab my junk and make unwanted advances, and even then I shrugged it off as mildly embarrassing.
    That is sexual assault. And something that dancers deal with every shift.

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  9. #106
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    I wouldn't feel sexually assaulted. Heck, I've had an overly drunk female colleague grab my junk and make unwanted advances, and even then I shrugged it off as mildly embarrassing.

    If I was bisexual, I don't think what you're suggesting would bother me at all. Seeing as I'm not though, that remains an "if". Another "if": if I was a male stripper and a female customer got off while enjoying a dance from me, I don't see how that would bother me either, because it doesn't impact me in any way. Certainly, anyone I'm willing to give a lap dance to has my permission to enjoy it to its full extent!

    Clearly my opinion is in the minority here though, as I understand it. Obviously such a situation isn't fully relatable for me as I'm neither a woman, nor a stripper. I just wanted to know why an act I don't see as impacting the dancer at all bothers so many people. I've got my answer.
    It's funny you wrote that, earlier this morning, I posted a rant in another thread about how much I abhor people using the word heck. Anyways, since you said *IF* you were bi, does that mean you feel being attracted to the assailant would make the sexual assault less traumatizing. Because dancers are straight, bi, gay and everything in between. I have yet to meet one attracted to Mr. Sweatpants. Also, what if the condom slips off? What if that happens and the guy has something? Should it just be considered an occupational hazard?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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  11. #107
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Unexpectedly? You don't know when you are about to blow your load? There is no such thing as "unexpectedly" because you always have it within your control to stop the dance. Now, I'm not stupid, I know that most guys will just go ahead and let it fly but PULEEEZZZEEEE don't try to say it was an accident....
    Ok, fine, take out "unexpectedly". My point still stands that customer ejacs are not going to simply "go away" if you ban sweatpants in clubs.
    I agree with charlie61 regarding this thread.
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by FasaCorp View Post
    Ok, fine, take out "unexpectedly". My point still stands that customer ejacs are not going to simply "go away" if you ban sweatpants in clubs.
    I agree with charlie61 regarding this thread.
    Of course not and that's not really the point of the thread to begin with. ITC It's about respect and self control, not doing whatever you want because you paid for a dance. Trying to play the "we are men, we can't help it " card just doesn't fly.
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  14. #109
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    Framing what I'm talking about as sexual assault is ridiculous. It has roughly the same level of impact on the "victim" as masturbating while envisioning someone you know personally or from tv. Are we going to start coining that sexual assault?

    While this site being a safe haven for dancers is good in a number of respects, it's also dangerous. A feedback loop of supporting opinions is never good for broadening viewpoints and promotes hostility; something adult entertainment is already rife with. I am NEVER for advocating against the comfort of a dancer. I try my best to never cross the line with dancers, and that has been rewarded. If you can't reconcile that with me asking the question of why such an act would be against their wishes, nothing I say will change that. Because several posters here already have it in their heads now that I'm misogynistic, perverted loser only interested in my own well-being.

    I guess I can only hope some read my posts and take a different viewpoint.
    Dangerous? Are you kidding? Working in the sex industry is hard. THAT'S dangerous. It's physically and mentally draining. Dancers, camgirls, escorts, PSOs, etc. need an outlet to vent and get opinions. Do you only find websites where most don't share your views dangerous?
    Oh, and to stay on topic, I hate sweatpants. In Ohio, most clubs are so desperate for business that they could care less what their customers wear. They're just happy they're wearing something lol. I was younger when I danced and got stuck with the resident Mr. Sweatpants on more than one occasion. Ended up slipping and sliding all over his boner, counting down the seconds until I could flee. I made money, but it so wasn't worth it. I mean, everyone knows what the guy's up to, even the other customers. I've had sympathetic ones tip me after they saw me dance for Mr. Sweatpants. Dude, they don't even look good, why would you wear sweatpants anywhere?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

  15. #110
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Of course not and that's not really the point of the thread to begin with. ITC It's about respect and self control, not doing whatever you want because you paid for a dance. Trying to play the "we are men, we can't help it " card just doesn't fly.
    That was not my intention. My point got missed spectacularly because of a single word. Then the tirade followed. Apologies all around.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
    I don't care what customers think. I care about separating them from their wallet.
    The only people who get rich off of Get Rich Quick Schemes are the ones who sell them, not the ones who buy them.

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    Dangerous? Are you kidding? Working in the sex industry is hard. THAT'S dangerous. It's physically and mentally draining. Dancers, camgirls, escorts, PSOs, etc. need an outlet to vent and get opinions. Do you only find websites where most don't share your views dangerous?
    Hardly. I'd say the same thing about several other websites, where the dominant opinion more closely aligns with mine. As long as you (not you specifically, I mean everyone, including me) accept that what you're reading may represent the narrow viewpoint of a certain demographic, it's not so dangerous.

    Quote Originally Posted by kirakonstantin View Post
    That is sexual assault. And something that dancers deal with every shift.
    I hear you on that one, because it's far more alarming to me than someone cumming in a condom in their pants. I'm not sure what it's like where the majority of this board lives and works, but where I do it's pretty much accepted that dances are hands-on, meaning the customer can pretty much touch everywhere he wants (except between the legs). Even kisses, licks and sucking is becoming accepted, which freaks the hell out of me! The only thing not expected anymore is finger penetration, and apparently it's not that people don't try.

    These acts I do view as sexual assault, which is why I was incredulous at cumming in a condom in your pants being likened to the same. Frankly, I view the far more prevalent act of being handsy much more troublesome.

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    Hardly. I'd say the same thing about several other websites, where the dominant opinion more closely aligns with mine. As long as you (not you specifically, I mean everyone, including me) accept that what you're reading may represent the narrow viewpoint of a certain demographic, it's not so dangerous.



    I hear you on that one, because it's far more alarming to me than someone cumming in a condom in their pants. I'm not sure what it's like where the majority of this board lives and works, but where I do it's pretty much accepted that dances are hands-on, meaning the customer can pretty much touch everywhere he wants (except between the legs). Even kisses, licks and sucking is becoming accepted, which freaks the hell out of me! The only thing not expected anymore is finger penetration, and apparently it's not that people don't try.

    These acts I do view as sexual assault, which is why I was incredulous at cumming in a condom in your pants being likened to the same. Frankly, I view the far more prevalent act of being handsy much more troublesome.
    I have known several girls who had customers cum in their pants and felt extremely violated. They thought they were giving a 'strip tease' not being used as a blow up doll and they felt degraded. They were disgusted that the customer got semen on their butt/leg/boob/whatever and worried about disease, I'm sorry but most guys don't put a condom on beforehand. I have had an insane number of customers cum in their pants when I dance, in the UK they're a bit better about it and usually end the dance and run to the bathroom, but in America I've clearly been able to tell that someone was about to have an orgasm and ended the dance and usually gotten a tirade of shit for doing so. When I am working in a strip club it is not my job nor is it within my comfort level to give you an orgasm.

    It is not for you to define what is OK as far as boundaries being crossed in the club. Fingering not OK but cuming in your pants is? You are the customer, not the dancer, you are not the one who needs to consent to your boundaries being pushed in this case (were we talking about her grabbing your dick the conversation would be different). Maybe a female friend grabbing your junk doesn't bother you, but it would certainly bother me if a male friend groped my boobs or my ass, and in that case it doesn't matter if it bothers you, it matters if it bothers ME because I am the one being touched.

    The universal definition of a lap dance is a dancer getting naked, shaking her butt, her boobs, etc-- it is not "grind as hard as you can until I cum." There are some dancers out there who are OK with that but unless it has been specifically discussed beforehand you are making assumptions and possibly crossing someone's boundaries. If getting that orgasm is more important to you than not making some poor dancer feel degraded, disgusted, and humiliated, well I hope we never come across each other in as strip club.
    Last edited by audrey_k; 06-23-2014 at 05:36 AM.

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    Hardly. I'd say the same thing about several other websites, where the dominant opinion more closely aligns with mine.

    Guysthatcumintheirpants.com?

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  21. #114
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by FasaCorp View Post
    Ok, fine, take out "unexpectedly". My point still stands that customer ejacs are not going to simply "go away" if you ban sweatpants in clubs.
    And some guys will continue to sneak onto farms and make sweet love to sheep....It doesnt mean that people shouldnt try to curtail pathetic behaviors.

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    They thought they were giving a 'strip tease' not being used as a blow up doll and they felt degraded.
    That's an interesting viewpoint. While I wouldn't coin it being used as a blowup doll, how fine and blurred is the line between those two? There seems to be this overarching need to set somewhat volatile boundaries, which I suppose stems from the need to maintain some control. "I'm not selling sex if I don't touch him." "I'm not selling sex if I don't make him cum." "I'm not selling sex if he doesn't touch me." "I'm not selling sex if he keeps it in his pants." "I'm not selling sex if I don't fuck him." "I'm not selling sex if it's in the club." The rationalizations to not feel degraded. I don't think any of that is cause for feeling degradation, but certainly some of it isn't appropriate in a strip club.

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by lemiwinks31 View Post
    Guysthatcumintheirpants.com?


    I wasn't talking about this opinion in particular!

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    That's an interesting viewpoint. While I wouldn't coin it being used as a blowup doll, how fine and blurred is the line between those two? There seems to be this overarching need to set somewhat volatile boundaries, which I suppose stems from the need to maintain some control. "I'm not selling sex if I don't touch him." "I'm not selling sex if I don't make him cum." "I'm not selling sex if he doesn't touch me." "I'm not selling sex if he keeps it in his pants." "I'm not selling sex if I don't fuck him." "I'm not selling sex if it's in the club." The rationalizations to not feel degraded. I don't think any of that is cause for feeling degradation, but certainly some of it isn't appropriate in a strip club.
    ' volatile boundaries'??? Are you fking serious … only ppl I have ever heard use that expression are the wankers who don't like boundaries they didn't set i.e. Guys like you who could care less abt the consent of the dancer you are buying from.

    There is no 'sneaky' way to go abt getting off during a dance, condom or no. It's not necessarily abt degradation, it is abt what's appropriate in the SC. Blowing your load is not appropriate in the SC -- do accidents happen, yes, but if that's a customer's express purpose in going to the SC, then for fucks sake(no pun intended) grow up, put on your big-boy boxers & go hire an escort, w/ whom blowing your load IS appropriate.

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Ushar. This is a dancer support site. Not a place for you to come and tell us everything you think is wrong with how we do our job. You have no idea what works for dancers, but I have a sad feeling we won't be able to convince you of that because you're so absurdly sure that you're a beacon of truth and reason among all these illogical, hysterical dancers who clearly don't know what's best for themselves.

    Stop trying to tell us we'd all make more money if we offered free extras "because customer loyalty!", stop acting like we're lying when we say there's a polite and successful way to prompt customers to tip us, and for heaven's sake, PLEASE stop trying to set our sexual boundaries for us, unless you want everyone here to hate you. We know what we're doing, ok? The worst part of this entire thread is how you're trying to gaslight us all into thinking there's something wrong with our boundaries because you personally don't agree with them, and you implying that when dancers are ok with some sexual situations and not others we're being silly and wrong. As if you can reduce what's emotionally best for each individual to simple logic. Your tone when you tell us "You should feel this way because XYZ" smells like pick-up artistry and is condescending, not to mention just plain not true.

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    That's an interesting viewpoint. While I wouldn't coin it being used as a blowup doll, how fine and blurred is the line between those two? There seems to be this overarching need to set somewhat volatile boundaries, which I suppose stems from the need to maintain some control. "I'm not selling sex if I don't touch him." "I'm not selling sex if I don't make him cum." "I'm not selling sex if he doesn't touch me." "I'm not selling sex if he keeps it in his pants." "I'm not selling sex if I don't fuck him." "I'm not selling sex if it's in the club." The rationalizations to not feel degraded. I don't think any of that is cause for feeling degradation, but certainly some of it isn't appropriate in a strip club.
    What's the difference between me and a blow up doll?

    Hmm, let me think.

    Well, for one thing I have a brain. I have feelings. I have values. I have control over what happens to me. I'm a PERSON, NOT A DOLL.

    I sincerely hope you understand how INCREDIBLY INSULTING that statement was, I seriously cannot believe you just compared strippers to blow up dolls?

    And it has absolutely nothing to do with strippers hiding behind being 'dancers' to not have to deal with the psychological repercussions of selling sex. I'm an escort and a stripper and I can tell you that I have NEVER felt degraded from my escort clients in the way that I have felt degraded by strip club customers. It has do with someone pushing your boundaries and doing something without your consent. With an escort client we have already agreed upon what services I will be offering, so if he has an orgasm it doesn't bother me (obviously I'm hoping he does). But in a strip club I did not agree to offering that service. CONSENT, USHAR, CONSENT....

    It's called.... sexual assault.... doing something sexually to another person without their consent....

    Seriousy ushar, you need to go back to high school or college or whatever and sit through a sexual assault lecture, or pick up a copy of The Feminine Mystique cause you seem to have no respect or understanding of the female perspective, let alone the dancer perspective.

    Oh, and I'm glad that you, a customer, have decided what is OK and what is not OK for us strippers to feel. The next time a girl is crying to me about being violated, I will tell her "don't worry, this man on SW says that there's no need to feel violated so you can stop crying now."

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    Hardly. I'd say the same thing about several other websites, where the dominant opinion more closely aligns with mine. As long as you (not you specifically, I mean everyone, including me) accept that what you're reading may represent the narrow viewpoint of a certain demographic, it's not so dangerous.



    I hear you on that one, because it's far more alarming to me than someone cumming in a condom in their pants. I'm not sure what it's like where the majority of this board lives and works, but where I do it's pretty much accepted that dances are hands-on, meaning the customer can pretty much touch everywhere he wants (except between the legs). Even kisses, licks and sucking is becoming accepted, which freaks the hell out of me! The only thing not expected anymore is finger penetration, and apparently it's not that people don't try.

    These acts I do view as sexual assault, which is why I was incredulous at cumming in a condom in your pants being likened to the same. Frankly, I view the far more prevalent act of being handsy much more troublesome.
    Only amateurs wear sweatpants to the strip club, I suggest you wear a silk kilt.
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Make it stop, make it stop, make it stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jezus ushar enough already

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  33. #122
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by oldster View Post
    Make it stop, make it stop, make it stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jezus ushar enough already
    LMAO! What's fascinating here is the sense of entitlement being exhibited. Maybe it's because I've been a customer since before contact even existed...
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  35. #123
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    There's barely a difference between strippers and blow up dolls? I can't even.........I'm done with this thread. PS-Yoda, I hope to God moderating pays well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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  37. #124
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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    PS-Yoda, I hope to God moderating pays well.
    We moderators are volunteers. Our only compensation is the satisfaction that we are helping the site run smoothly.

    Oh, and the Saturday night hot tub parties in the Moderator's Lounge are off the chain!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Problem with sweat pants?

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    There's barely a difference between strippers and blow up dolls?
    Oh for fuck's sake...as if that's what I said!

    I say cumming in a condom isn't as bad as physically cumming on a stripper. Someone makes a comment about how physically cumming on a stripper is nasty. Then someone else runs with that line of thinking rather than the original.

    I say cumming in a condom without penetration or any actual direct contact is hardly like treating a stripper like a blowup doll. Someone makes a comment about how I just compared strippers to blowup dolls (notice, I was actually saying the opposite, though I can see how if you read that line without the context of the first half of the sentence and the subsequent sentences it sounds bad). Then someone else runs with that line of thinking rather than the original.

    I'm obviously taking about a thousand steps back here for every half step forward. So wish granted, I won't comment in this specific thread again. I'm actually surprised the mods let us run this far off topic, so thanks for your patience mods! It was a real treat!

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