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Thread: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

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    Senior Member Kaylee84's Avatar
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    Default How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    My best friend and I are both dancers. We were just invited by a very awesome couple to be flown down to Alabama for the music festival "The Hangout" where we will run a beer tent during the day, and by night we will privately dance for them with the blatant clearness that there will be NOTHING more then dancing, only a wealthy couple trying to enjoy their weekend. Our tickets (running for around $500 a piece because we're going VIP) are paid for, plane tickets are paid for, we get are own room in a luxury condo equip with a lazy river and pool slide, AND they are going to pay us $5,000 a piece for our time. Sound to good to be true? Hell yeah it does!

    So we had my best friends boyfriend go to dinner with the couple and they all met and really hit it off! Everything is going to be amazing and were going to make a ton of money and have an amazing experience! ONLY PROBLEM- My boyfriend DOES NOT want me to go! We have a wedding to go to for some dude he sort of talks to (not someone I know very well) and my man is soooo mad that I am even considering missing this wedding even though this will be the THIRD one he's made me go to where I still barely know the people getting married.. Ugh! He is going to be the "best man" but I live with my boyfriend and guys are weird i guess because these guys are NOT close at all!! His excuses are as follows.


    "You already +1'd on the invite!"
    My response - "I did, but money is important to me! More important than another strangers wedding! This opportunity only comes around once in a lifetime!

    "They got us a HOTEL room!"
    My response - "These people are giving me a lot more then a hotel room.. They are paying my rent! If you're not comfortable sleeping alone in a hotel.. Take a taxi one block away to our house!"

    "I see how it is! Money over ME???"
    My response- "Money over everything bro!"


    Am I a heartless asshole??? How can I make my boyfriend understand and just not be so selfish about this god damn wedding and let me go have a good time without him (for once) and make a ton of cash?



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    Veteran Member aperfectseal's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    It seems like it may not be just the wedding that's keeping him from agreeing to it. He is your boyfriend and he cares about you, and you flying to Alabama with just your friend is probably really scary to him! Even though you trust this couple, he has never met them, and you going thousands of miles away with them to a drug-fueled music fest where there won't be any security/bouncers like there are in the club. You can try suggesting that maybe he came with you to keep an eye on things since if you're getting paid $5k then purchasing a plane ticket for him won't cut into your profits too much. Other than that, I don't really have any ideas for trying to get him on your side. I know this probably wasn't what you wanted to hear, but try not to be too upset with him being "selfish" as he is only doing what he thinks is right by keeping you safe. If "money over everything" is how you feel, then maybe you need to cut him loose in order to go to the Hangout with this couple. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Duh Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylee84 View Post
    My best friend and I are both dancers. We were just invited by a very awesome couple to be flown down to Alabama for the music festival "The Hangout" where we will run a beer tent during the day, and by night we will privately dance for them with the blatant clearness that there will be NOTHING more then dancing, only a wealthy couple trying to enjoy their weekend. Our tickets (running for around $500 a piece because we're going VIP) are paid for, plane tickets are paid for, we get are own room in a luxury condo equip with a lazy river and pool slide, AND they are going to pay us $5,000 a piece for our time. Sound to good to be true? Hell yeah it does!


    Hmm... how can you be sure it's a couple and not just some creepy pimp-ho/pimp-madam combo who want to snatch you and your pal into some indentured servitude?

    This shit doesn't add up. Look at it objectively...

    ALABAMA?!?!? Seriously?
    $5,000
    Plus plane fare and a luxury condo for the weekend?
    (Since when do planes have a VIP section?)

    Where NOTHING more than dancing will be happening. Sure...

    I mean, it's not like Alabama doesn't have any strippers. Why wouldn't this "couple" go with local girls? It would save $1,000 on plane fare alone...


    Truth be told, this seems like a scheme to get ladies in from out of state. It's roughly 1,500 miles away. Girls who take these folks up on the offer would be at a MAJOR disadvantage. No connections, no personal transportation, and no protection.
    Last edited by Sophia_Starina; 04-17-2013 at 10:01 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Senior Member Kaylee84's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Sorry, the VIP tickets are for the music festival not the plane. And these people are white 24/25 year olds. They have friends going whom are staying in a different condo, we've met them and everyone seems really cool.



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    Senior Member Kaylee84's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Aperfectseal I am feeling a little guilty but I wish he would understand that this opportunity only comes a along once in a lifetime! I do love Him and don't want to upset him but money is important to me as well.



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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylee84 View Post
    Sorry, the VIP tickets are for the music festival not the plane. And these people are white 24/25 year olds. They have friends going whom are staying in a different condo, we've met them and everyone seems really cool.
    Where/How did you meet them?

    They may have seemed cool but you should keep in mind that Sociopaths are often charming and charismatic. Have you ever wondered how 24/25 year olds have so much cash to blow on strippers? Where is the logic in any of this?

    (P.S. Their race has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING! Like, at all... )
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Senior Member Kaylee84's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    We met them at the club. There were in Colorado skiing in vail, came into the club and fell in love with my best friend and invited her to the festival. They asked if she had a friend that would like to go with and dance with her and she said yes! I'm going to guess they have wealthy family.. They really seem awesome and there friends are really cool everyone is just so normal! Nothing out of the blue at all! I was sketch at first, too! They came in last night and bought a bottle and paid me very well to hang out and discuss everything so I felt comfortable. Super cool couple!



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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    I also want to point out that you've made NO MENTION of a round-trip/return ticket.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylee84 View Post
    Sorry, the VIP tickets are for the music festival not the plane. And these people are white 24/25 year olds. They have friends going whom are staying in a different condo, we've met them and everyone seems really cool.
    If you are working a beer tent, you don't need tickets... unless you'll be attending the concert at night (but you already said you'd be dancing for them at night, so that can't be it). Do they close the beer tent at night? That would be prime-time-beer-time, wouldn't it? That doesn't make sense. Why would you need a VIP pass if you're going to be working? This is a very confusing situation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Senior Member Kaylee84's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    I'm going to link you to her Facebook page.. And of course we will get a round trip ticket! Dancing for them at night doesn't have to be like 10 pm. We are going to enjoy the concert and afterwords go back to the condo and dance and hang out.



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    Veteran Member aperfectseal's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    I think you should give some consideration to what Sophia is saying, as well. I am in no way trying to undermine your "stripper senses" or judge of character, but the situation does sound a little bit weird. She and I could be way off base, as of course we have all met extremely wealthy people who spend thousands on strippers in the club before, but how well do you actually know these two? How many times have they been in the club? Do other girls at your club besides your friend know them at all? Do they get a weird vibe from them? Slimy people can be very charming and people that try to take advantage of strippers know that by dangling large amounts of money in front of their faces, they can usually get a few to bite. Not all pimps and bad people look a certain way, there are pimps who are white 25 year olds. Just some things to think about before you make this decision.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    I'm going to agree with everyone else and say this sounds absolutely too good to be true and I would NOT go. I don't blame your boyfriend one bit.
    Seriously, who aside from celebrities like Mike Tyson, would fly their favorite stripper to a festival with no intentions of a date-like experience or sex? And then pay them $5k?! It just does nooooot add up.

    Sorry, again not what you wanted to hear, but that's my 2 cents.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    it does sounds sketchy girl..real sketchy..if i was your boyfriend i'd be nervous too. just be careful!

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    Senior Member Holly_V's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Sound sketcherific

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    Senior Member Kaylee84's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

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    heres a photo of tiffany and dave.. they seem normal to me but i will definately get to know them better before going. i appreciate everyones insight. my safety is important..



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    Senior Member Holly_V's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Also i thought that if you work at a festival you get free tickets? so they aren't really buying you tickets.

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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    how do they have 10,000 dollars to blow on "just a dance"?? what do they do for work? just WHY would they pay that exorbitant amount of money for just that?

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylee84 View Post
    ONLY PROBLEM- My boyfriend DOES NOT want me to go! We have a wedding to go to for some dude he sort of talks to (not someone I know very well) and my man is soooo mad that I am even considering missing this wedding even though this will be the THIRD one he's made me go to where I still barely know the people getting married.. Ugh! His excuses are as follows.


    "You already +1'd on the invite!"
    My response - "I did, but money is important to me! More important than another strangers wedding! This opportunity only comes around once in a lifetime!

    "They got us a HOTEL room!"
    My response - "These people are giving me a lot more then a hotel room.. They are paying my rent! If you're not comfortable sleeping alone in a hotel.. Take a taxi one block away to our house!"

    "I see how it is! Money over ME???"
    My response- "Money over everything bro!"


    Am I a heartless asshole??? How can I make my boyfriend understand and just not be so selfish about this god damn wedding and let me go have a good time without him (for once) and make a ton of cash?
    Well, if you are dead-set on going I'll help you out. We are all adults here, and even though I heartily discourage you from going based on what you've written, I can offer you some advice for dealing with your guy.

    "You already +1'd on the invite!"
    How old is this guy? Is he a guy or a bridezilla? A +1 is only a real problem if extra people show up... if someone marks +1 and brings +4, for example. While a no-show does waste the couples money, it doesn't ruin a wedding anything like 29 people that show up unannounced and expect a seat, a slice of cake, and a gift-bag or whatever. Meh. I'm sure if there is an empty seat there will be someone to fill it. Even if there is an empty seat, who cares?

    However, your response, Kaylee84, leaves a lot to be desired. Saying "money is more important than your buddy's wedding" could be a little hurtful... especially since he got the honor of being best man.

    Close or not, this guy is important to your boyfriend even if they don't have matching B.F.F. charm bracelets. Obviously your boyfriend is important to this guy too.

    A more sensible approach would have been to explain that an opportunity came up... and while you regret having to back out of the wedding festivities, you will give them a generous gift and a heartfelt card/message that expresses your warm wishes which can be delivered by your boyfriend to the happy couple at the reception or whatever after-wedding festivities are called.

    "They got us a HOTEL room!"
    You could have offered to reimburse the hotel room cost-difference (if there is one) in your wedding gift... you'd seem mad generous and the couple wouldn't feel cheated... but I have never heard of a couple paying for hotel rooms for guests. Even bridesmaids have to pay for their own dresses. Since you and your boyfriend are shacking up, I assume it's a one bed hotel room. There is no difference in terms of whether it's occupied by one person or two. So I have no idea what the boyfriend is talking about there. Meh...

    "I see how it is! Money over ME???"
    What a little brat. His comment is bratty to the max. I'm sorry but if I'm more concerned about your safety than he is... I don't even know what to say.
    He's insecure and self-centered. Maybe he isn't... but I'm going by what you've written here and that is my assessment. Yuck.


    Additional Thoughts:
    Stop being resentful and angry regarding the wedding. Your boyfriend is butt-hurt and you're fanning the flames with your remarks.

    Be LESS: "Fuck your friends wedding, bro! You two weirdos aren't even close!!! UGH! I Fucken LOVE Moneyyyyy$$$$$ !!!"

    Be MORE: "I'm sorry, I would have liked to go and support you and your friend on this important day but this opportunity takes precedence. This trip is very important for me and my continued financial independence. I'd be happy to make it up to you/them in a meaningful way later on..."
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Yeah, your bf sounds like my soon to be ex husband. Immature, I do understand that he's hurt though. Anyway, I would look more into this. I know it sounds like an amazing opportunity, and they seem like "friendly" couple but you never know. I'm going to ignore the obvious racial bias and try and help anyway. Just because they are white, doesn't mean they are safe and should be trusted. There are more white serial killers than of any other race out there and it's a bit silly for you to assume that just because they are white and they are a couple that they are good to go. There are couples who kill, you can google that or read/watch true stories on it on investigation ID. I just recently read a story about a couple who killed two male friends of theirs because they had a secret necrofillia fetish. They literally had sexual intercourse on top of two friends that they lured in and murdered. Remember, Gary Ridgeway and Ted Bundy.

    And I'm not trying to freak you out, but my mind is always thinking the worst when it comes to things like this. If they were murderers or undercover pimps, this would be the perfect set up. Throw money on a stripper, have her invite a friend so that she feels safe, pay for everything, promise big money, promise a good time and then you'll find yourself drugged or fucking the couple without your consent. And if you refuse, well that's when you don't get paid and you're stuck in Alabama because you didn't think you needed to bring any extra money. If they are murderers it wouldn't be hard to sedate you and do the job. There are prostitutes who get set up like this. Or, they could be into the sex trade. They could kidnap you and pimp you out. I know you've watched those creepy movies where girls travel abroad, are promised money and end up somewhere in bankok giving bjs out of overpopulated, brutal motels. I'm not trying to discourage you, just please, please look further into this and do a full background check on that couple. My guess is that they will expect you BOTH to fuck them. And I could be wrong but that couple looks like they want to experiment and will do anything to get it. A young couple like that with money can do dangerous shit if they want and for some odd reason they look extremely familiar to me. I know some people just have money to blow, but it makes you wonder HOW they are getting their money. I'm sure it's just not from hiring hot chicks to sell their beer.

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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Those two look like they're high schoolers 0_o

    Just sayin. How exactly did they come on all this money to do this stuff? Come on. If I was 25 and had enough money to blow $12k in one weekend, I'd have better shit to do with it than pay 2 strippers $10k of it. Come ON.
    I'm checking out now, you seem dead set on going and I doubt any of us will change your mind.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    They look like two rich kids who probably have seen it all but want to get into the "kinky" shit. I mean, some people are just rich like that, but this is a bit extreme. Then again some people just network like this. A couple meets some hot chicks in a strip club, give her an opportunity she can't refuse, and "rent" her when they feel like they want a private session. This just sounds too good to be true though.

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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    There are SO many things wrong with this situation. I'll address them in order:

    1. Your boyfriend doesn't own you. Your man doesn't "let" you do anything and you don't "let" him do anything. If you decide to go, you tell him respectfully that you've decided to go and then you both deal with the consequences of that decision like open, honest, loving adults.

    2. Your idea that these people are safe because they're white is not only ignorant and offensive, but may result in something bad happening to you at some point in your life.

    3. You better get your money first, like before you even step on a plane. $5,000 cash in your pocket before you leave your house, or at least a deposit. You also better have some serious self defense skills and a fail proof backup plan for the absolute worst case scenario. Always. You should always have that.

    4. Don't get dollar signs in your eyes and start taking risks you wouldn't take otherwise. Keep your head on straight. Would you do this if it paid the same amount a weekend at the club paid?

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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    You really posted a picture of them while mentioning their name, the festival they're going to, how much money they have and state they live in? Is that even allowed?? That is total invasion of their privacy, you might be putting them at risk and just wrong in many ways... And why go through the trouble to post a picture just to prove something? No offense but I am not buying it.

    I just want to add this: Karla and Paul Bernado, google them, just sayin. A couple is not safe because they're young, white and look normal in a picture...
    Last edited by JoJoX; 04-17-2013 at 12:16 PM.

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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    You really posted a picture of them while mentioning their name, the festival they're going to, how much money they have and state they live in? Is that even allowed?? That is total invasion of their privacy, you might be putting them at risk and just wrong in many ways... And why go through the trouble to post a picture just to prove something? No offense but I am not buying it.


    Mehhhhhh.... what ever is posted on the internet is up for grabs. I see no REAL invasion of privacy here. Sorry. When you share your info/images/profiles with (essentially) strangers, you're going to face that risk. That goes for dancers, customers, random people, whatever.

    More importantly:
    Nothing Kaylee84 did was malicious.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: How can I convince my man to let me go??!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Stormi Weather View Post
    There are SO many things wrong with this situation. I'll address them in order:

    1. Your boyfriend doesn't own you. Your man doesn't "let" you do anything and you don't "let" him do anything. If you decide to go, you tell him respectfully that you've decided to go and then you both deal with the consequences of that decision like open, honest, loving adults.

    2. Your idea that these people are safe because they're white is not only ignorant and offensive, but may result in something bad happening to you at some point in your life.

    3. You better get your money first, like before you even step on a plane. $5,000 cash in your pocket before you leave your house, or at least a deposit. You also better have some serious self defense skills and a fail proof backup plan for the absolute worst case scenario. Always. You should always have that.

    4. Don't get dollar signs in your eyes and start taking risks you wouldn't take otherwise. Keep your head on straight. Would you do this if it paid the same amount a weekend at the club paid?
    All are excellent points and advice.

    I swear, sometimes I write too much. You got to the nitty gritty of the issue far faster than I did. Awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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