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Thread: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

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    Smiley Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    What I find interesting is that women think they are uglier than they are and men think they are hotter. A woman with a small amount of fat would consider herself overweight while a man would consider himself in shape. I think part of it is that society has this unrealistic view of beauty that is unattainable to most women. For instance of the three female bodytypes, the least common apparently is Ectomorph, which is very lean. Most actresses and models possess this bodytype but most other women don't. The most common is Endomorph, which is heavier bodies. Not just bodies though but general features and so many women fight what nature gave them and either have it changed or complain about it. I do this a lot myself and so does most women I know, including top models and adult film actresses I have known. Men are the opposite and think they are hotter than they are, including obese men who think they are in great shape.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    I would have to distinctly disagree. Men put up a false facade of confidence as a way of protecting their delicate sense of masculinity, which could arguably be as or even more fragile than a woman's sense of femininity/attractiveness. I mean, women may be greatly displeased with their breasts and pursue cosmetic surgery to "correct" these perceived imperfections, but we keep that thought that men like breasts in general, giving us a slight edge to our confidence. While we think that we might not be able to pull off certain looks, there is SO much information out there on how we can wear certain clothing or do our makeup a way to play up or tone down our features until they come off. Men don't get these sorts of cues because they don't wear makeup and almost all of their clothing (unless they visit a tailor to make custom clothes) come in only one standard cut. Even though we as women are exposed to certain body types more than others in advertising and media, we are at least aware of the various body shapes; men are exposed to only ONE "attractive" physique.

    None the less, this was a surprisingly good and stirring video. It really makes you think about how we perceive ourselves versus others' perception, and how we really do need to focus on our positive qualities.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    After having done online dating and having met many men with delusional views, I think far more women are insecure and it doesn't help that men often judge women for gaining weight for example while they get fat and see nothing wrong. Women are judged more harshly and part of it is because we don't see the other body types as much and the lean one whereas with men we see all three body types. However I do think many men are far more accepting than many women realize and I have heard so many men make comments about how they wish there were more heavier women in the media.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Just because a man does not outwardly show or discuss insecurity the way that women do, does NOT mean that they are all delusional pigs that think it's okay to be 500lbs and seeking an 18-year-old model. Men are very typically raised different from women and are taught not to show emotion the same way we do. Often times, a man lashing out at his female partner is NOT about just her putting on weight, but very frequently stems from his own insecurity that he is projecting on to her.
    However, what "three body types" are men seeing versus the ones women see? Just because women see more of the "ruler" shape in the media does not make them any less aware of the "apple", "hourglass", and "pear" shapes. Men have varying body shapes (even if they are less pronounced than a woman's) as well, but are NOT exposed to them. Where we have been taught how we can work our shapes and balance them, to make them "attractive" according to that shape, men have only been taught one "attractive" shape: muscle bound, broad shouldered, narrow at the hip, and washboard abs.

    Just because a woman is a pear shape instead of a ruler, she can still be in shape and hotter than hell to both herself and everyone around her. For men, they see it as crackhead skinny or obese, with only the above mentioned shape in between.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    There are three body types: endomorph, ectomorph and mesmorphic. Endos are heavier, mesmos, muscular, and ectos are skinny. Most women in the media are the skinny type, though there are the other types but not as much.

    Who said anything about emotions? I was talking about the fact that more women think they are heavier then men. Otherwise there would be more men getting plastic surgery. The fact remains that many men think looks don't matter and they will get anyone but women are convinced they are ugly. A loser piece of shit ex boyfriend who was obese thought he was average while berating women for not being thin. I never said ALL men are like this but many are. Many still falsely assume women don't judge on looks but women do.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    I agree that a lot of men are a lot more self-conscious and have a lot lower self-esteem than many women realize. But men aren't comfortable expressing this, so they mask it. Women are the ones expected to bitch about their appearance and pick themselves apart--if men do it, it looks super beta and wussy. Men are supposed to be confident, and if they aren't they've been programmed to fake it, and in a TON of cases they end up overcompensating.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    I don't like this. There's just no way to win. Women apparently either have ~*low self-esteem and see themselves as uglier/fatter/whatever more than they are*~ OR if a woman is confident and happy suddenly she's plagued with haters calling her a bitch/stuck up/delusional by both men and women. Its like you can't win. So I hate these things. Its like the virgin/whore complex.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    I don't like this. There's just no way to win. Women apparently either have ~*low self-esteem and see themselves as uglier/fatter/whatever more than they are*~ OR if a woman is confident and happy suddenly she's plagued with haters calling her a bitch/stuck up/delusional by both men and women. Its like you can't win. So I hate these things. Its like the virgin/whore complex.
    Mostly, it's an "Industrialized Country" thing. In parts of Europe (and most other parts of the world where people are not nearly as superficial/materialistic) most people know that beauty is, in fact, only skin deep.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
    I don't care what customers think. I care about separating them from their wallet.
    The only people who get rich off of Get Rich Quick Schemes are the ones who sell them, not the ones who buy them.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    not to me, it's the same everywhere..


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by FasaCorp View Post
    Mostly, it's an "Industrialized Country" thing. In parts of Europe (and most other parts of the world where people are not nearly as superficial/materialistic) most people know that beauty is, in fact, only skin deep.
    i have to disagree with this, i think its a human thing.. i know for a FACT that america is not even near the most looks-oriented country in the world. i also have to agree with kellydancer that women usually pick themselves apart much more than men..more pressure is put on women in the appearance deparment traditionally/historically throughout most cultures. i was talking to my bf about this the other day, for a woman a beauty routine will cost hundreds of dollars, hours of time, whereas most men hit the gym and bathe if they're lucky hehe. unless they are metro, and then are looked down on by other men for being too "feminine" and concerned with their appearance. if a beautiful woman dates an ugly man people will say "well, he must have something going on!" whereas if a guy dates/fucks ugly chicks people think that's all he can get.
    and im sorry but beauty may be superficial but coming from somebody who used to be an ugly duckling, i can tell you looks makes a HUGE difference as a woman. the world was not kind to me as an ugly child. teachers, adults, boys, cops, judges, other girls will treat you differently. whereas now that i've turned into a more attractive swan i have people letting me cut through in line, cops letting me off with no ticket, people helping me when i need it, and men showering me with hundreds of dollars at work. looks are important, and im sorry to sound cynical, but in the animal kingdom animals choose the healthiest mates. that's evolution. healthy is beautiful. there have been tons of articles and studies about how taller men and more attractive women get paid more, get off with lighter jail sentences, and get treated generally better. and its bullshit, but its reality. im not by any means saying looks mean everything because they don't at all, and i don't think that. but the world is a shallow place where books are judged by their cover and that goes for men and women. i just think a higher standard is put upon women than men

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    This article points out things I had noticed in that video:

    http://jazzylittledrops.tumblr.com/p...video-makes-me
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    What I find interesting is that women think they are uglier than they are and men think they are hotter.
    And on that note: http://www.businessinsider.com/dove-...for-men-2013-4
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    What I find interesting is that women think they are uglier than they are and men think they are hotter.
    It's because typically a women receives many comments and compliments on her looks. If those comments stop, then she starts analyzing why and worries that she's not attractive. Men, however, never get comments on their looks, so they have to fabricate them in their own mind to fill that void.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by The Six View Post
    Men, however, never get comments on their looks, so they have to fabricate them in their own mind to fill that void.
    I get compliments all the time on my looks, however because I am a man, looks alone will never work. Good looks benefit women far, far more than they benefit men.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
    I don't care what customers think. I care about separating them from their wallet.
    The only people who get rich off of Get Rich Quick Schemes are the ones who sell them, not the ones who buy them.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i have to disagree with this, i think its a human thing.. i know for a FACT that america is not even near the most looks-oriented country in the world. i also have to agree with kellydancer that women usually pick themselves apart much more than men..more pressure is put on women in the appearance deparment traditionally/historically throughout most cultures. i was talking to my bf about this the other day, for a woman a beauty routine will cost hundreds of dollars, hours of time, whereas most men hit the gym and bathe if they're lucky hehe. unless they are metro, and then are looked down on by other men for being too "feminine" and concerned with their appearance. if a beautiful woman dates an ugly man people will say "well, he must have something going on!" whereas if a guy dates/fucks ugly chicks people think that's all he can get.
    and im sorry but beauty may be superficial but coming from somebody who used to be an ugly duckling, i can tell you looks makes a HUGE difference as a woman. the world was not kind to me as an ugly child. teachers, adults, boys, cops, judges, other girls will treat you differently. whereas now that i've turned into a more attractive swan i have people letting me cut through in line, cops letting me off with no ticket, people helping me when i need it, and men showering me with hundreds of dollars at work. looks are important, and im sorry to sound cynical, but in the animal kingdom animals choose the healthiest mates. that's evolution. healthy is beautiful. there have been tons of articles and studies about how taller men and more attractive women get paid more, get off with lighter jail sentences, and get treated generally better. and its bullshit, but its reality. im not by any means saying looks mean everything because they don't at all, and i don't think that. but the world is a shallow place where books are judged by their cover and that goes for men and women. i just think a higher standard is put upon women than men
    Very true. I see a BIG difference in the way I was treated in my 20's versus now or how I am treated versus less attractive friends. The fact is attractive young women are treated as special and on a pedestal. I was often offered jobs on the spot and many men wanted me. Men still want me, but many of them like me for me now and still attracted. Ugly women are very often attacked and made fun of but rarely do I see that with ugly men. I'm sure it happens with them but there's this underlying view that women will judge a man based on his money not always his looks (I call bs on this).

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    And on that note:
    That was hysterical and so true. I couldn't begin to mention all the men I knew who would say something like they look like Brad Pitt when the only thing they have in common is they have the same type of hair.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    Quote Originally Posted by The Six View Post
    It's because typically a women receives many comments and compliments on her looks. If those comments stop, then she starts analyzing why and worries that she's not attractive. Men, however, never get comments on their looks, so they have to fabricate them in their own mind to fill that void.
    By the same token though many men I have known only judged women by their looks and nothing else. When I did online dating I got a lot of comments like "you're hot" but rarely would I get a comment like "you're smart" after they saw I had a degree. In fact some men were turned off by that. Yes women like getting compliments but when a man makes it known this is all he cares about it is frustrating. Of course this is different in clubs where looks matter a lot (though so do other things like conversation)but most women I know want a mate who loves her for her.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    I heard the same company that owns Dove owns Axe, and I'm sure you've all seen those commercials...
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

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    Default Re: Women feel ugly: Perception vs. Reality

    ^^I've heard that too, I think it's true

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    This article points out things I had noticed in that video:

    http://jazzylittledrops.tumblr.com/p...video-makes-me
    That article s awesome!! And this video sucks, it's insulting and is still teaching women that beauty is your most important factor as a person. The message is *trying* to be uplifting to mask the fact that they are still selling products based on you not being happy with your looks - and succeeding.

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